Under The Willows
by CiaraShayee
Summary: He's given up on his future. She's barely getting started on hers. The Jackson Bay Series - book one.
1. Chapter 1 - Bella

**If we're friends on Facebook, you might have seen me post about this one. I've got eleven chapters pre-written, and I'm making this  
my National Novel Writing Month project, so I hope to keep that momentum going *fingers crossed* I hate starting a new story when I have two  
WIPS that I haven't updated in a while, but they're just not talking to me and it's driving me crazy. I'm going to keep trying, though.**

**Huge thank yous to **anakinsmom, Thats-So-Alex, LizziePaige, and LadyLoonie **for all their help and feedback, and to my wonderful beta **annaharding **  
for always helping me out with my random questions at all times of the day and night.**

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**Under The Willows**

**Chapter One**

_**Bella**_

They say silence is golden, and it's true—silence _is _golden. Few things beat the lull of activity and noise after a hectic day, peace and quiet as the sun rises, or the calm after a raging storm. So, yeah. Silence is great.

Unless you have kids. In that case, it's just suspicious.

Pressing my ear up against the wood, I bite my lip and debate the pros and cons of opening the door to chance a peek inside. On one hand, we might be late if we don't at least start getting ready soon. On the other, I know my little guys need the sleep after their tough day yesterday. It would be better to let them snooze for a little while longer; assuming they're asleep like I hope and not doing something they shouldn't be, anyway. The paint is barely dry on the wall where my youngest sharpied it last week.

Residual ire leaks into my bloodstream as I remember my sons' faces yesterday when they realized their dad wasn't coming. Again.

I'm used to being let down by my ex. It kills me that our boys have to experience it, too.

The faint sound of my cell bringing down the hall makes the decision on whether to go in, or not, for me.

_**Momma calling **_lights up the screen as I hurry into the room just in time to see it ring off, the on-screen message changing to _**1 missed call**_. "Shit."

Glancing at the clock while I call her back, I realize it's barely four a.m., her time. "Mom? Is everything okay?"

Her voice is thick with sleep but I can hear the smile in her bright, cheery voice. "_Today's the day! Are you all packed and ready to go?"_

Looking around at what used to be a cozy living room, but is now effectively just a storage space stacked high with boxes, I sigh. I'm going to miss this place. The pretty bay window overlooking the park, the brick fireplace where I've hung our stockings every Christmas for six years, and the little garden we share with Jude where my bigger boys learned to ride their bikes. "Everything is packed up. I've marked the boxes to ship, our neighbor is taking some stuff, and we donated the rest."

There's some shuffling on the other end of the line, then my dad's muffled voice becomes clearer as Mom puts me on speaker. Smiling, I ask, "Sorry, did we wake you? It's super early."

Gruff as ever, Dad mumbles, "_Never too early for my girl. Are you on your way home yet?"_

"Not for another six hours, Dad. The flight leaves at three-thirty. It's only just nine here." I smile wider. "But you knew that."

"_Right. But you've got all your paperwork in order, your luggage…"_

"Yes, Dad." My eyes roll themselves, but my grin is a fond one. Of my two parents, Dad is the organized, always-prepared one. Mom is more of a fly-by-the-seat-of-her-pants sort of woman. I'm a steady mix of the two, I'd say. My sons, however—they're all Nana.

"_What time are you leaving for the airport?"_

"At about ten, I think. We'll have breakfast with Jude and then she's giving us a ride to Gatwick."

The airport is around an hour and a half away from Eastbourne, where I've been living since I moved here nine years ago to study. It's right down on the south-east coast of England and I'm only a little surprised to say I'm really going to miss the seaside town and the friends I've made here—particularly Jude. I'll be swapping one seaside for another, but still. My life has been here for almost a decade. This hasn't been an easy decision.

"_I bet she's going to miss you all," _Mom murmurs, reading my mind and putting a lump in my throat.

"We'll miss her, too. Lo's already made her promise to Facetime him every weekend."

Mom and Dad both laugh. They're completely unsurprised, as was I when Jude told me last week. As far as my boys are concerned, Jude is a part of their family. She's 'Nanny Jude' despite the total lack of common DNA between them.

_Speaking of…_

"I think that's her at the door now. I'll call when we're at the airport, okay?"

"_Okay, honey. Give our boys smooches from their nana."_

"_And their papa!"_

"Will do," I laugh. "Love you both. Go back to sleep."

_Chaos will be landing in approximately fourteen hours._

As I set my cell on the top of the large box housing my clothes and acting as interim coffee table, Jude steps into the room. Her sad smile makes my heart ache. "Oh, Jude…you're going to set me off already!"

When I first crossed the Atlantic, I never intended to stay this long. I wanted to explore, spread my wings, but I always planned to return to my hometown back in Florida.

There are a lot of things about my time here that have been unexpected. Changing my degree part-way through the first year, making friends who turned into family, meeting Jude, both of my pregnancies…I didn't plan any of it, but I wouldn't change it for the world.

I wish I could pack up my life here and ship it to Florida. Or, if not all of it, at least Jude. She took me in when my living situation on-campus didn't work out, our chance meeting a pure stroke of luck. Her tenant had split unexpectedly to travel and I was in desperate need of somewhere to stay once my temporary lease was up at the end of the week. I was in the coffee shop when she put up the notice for a place to rent and jumped on it.

In the time since, she's become family. She cheered for me when I graduated, helped me get a job in my dream industry, and was there to witness my boys coming into the world. She's way more than just a landlady or a friend.

"Sorry, sorry," she laughs, wiping under her eyes. "No boo-hooing. We agreed, didn't we?"

"We did," I confirm, pleased when footsteps down the hall precede the imminent arrival of one of my boys. Jude and I both laugh when we see my youngest. I put him to bed last night in a pajama top and shorts; only the latter remain. He's scratching his bare tummy as he yawns big and wide, his dark eyes glistening.

Arlo Maxwell Swan is one of the three best things to ever happen to me. He has both his father's dark blond hair and his so-dark-brown-they're-black eyes. Apart from the coloring, he's a Swan through-and-through. Feature-wise, Arlo is the spitting image of my older brother as a kid.

"Good morning, baby." I catch him as he barrels into my arms. Okay, so the clinginess from yesterday is continuing into today. I'm not complaining about the cuddles, but it reignites my anger at my ex. Every time he misses time with our sons, I spend the next couple of days with the boys attached to me. It's just one of many things that shows me how much his lack of effort hurts them. The momma bear in me rears her head, but I don't have time for that now. My boys need me calm and unflappable today more than ever.

Everything in their little lives is about to change and I'm the only thing that will be consistent.

"Mornin', Momma."

"Did you sleep well?"

I get a shrug. "I guess."

"How about a cuddle for Nanny Jude, hmm?"

"Oh!" Only now noticing her, my son wriggles free of my arms to run into Jude's. Her arthritis put a stop to her picking him up shortly after his second birthday and a major growth spurt, so he settles for wrapping his arms around her skirt-clad legs instead.

Running her liver-spotted hand through his messy bedhead, Jude asks if he still wants to go for breakfast.

"Where are we goin'?"

"Wherever you want to go, love. We could get some pancakes—"

"Not McDonalds," he growls, frowning at his feet. The kid breaks my heart. His father doesn't deserve any of our boys, but Arlo still hopes. He still trusts that he'll show even though he's seen him a total of maybe five times in the last year.

I spent an hour crying on Jude's shoulder after tucking Arlo into my bed last night, so she's well aware of what went on. The look on her face as she glances over at me tells me she's figured out that breakfast at Arlo's favorite restaurant was the latest broken promise from his deadbeat father.

She was also my shoulder to cry on six months ago after I approached him about moving to Florida and he told me to 'do whatever.' I expected a fight, some kind of resistance. He shrugged. He did the same when the boys were born and we were asked whose surname they would take. So, sure he'd never stick around, I made them Swans. I wasn't totally wrong. He's around, but he's never been a consistent part of their lives.

Carefully crouching, Jude presses a kiss to Arlo's hair and cups his face between her hands. "Why don't we have a little snack now, and get breakfast at the airport, instead? We can watch the planes take off while we eat."

Arlo's face brightens. "Can we eat at the funky place?"

Snorting, I ask, "Garfunkels?"

"Yesss! That one! Can we, Momma?"

Right now, I'd do anything to keep the burgeoning smile on Arlo's face. Today is going to be hard enough as it is even without my ex's no-show hanging over our heads. "Garfunkels it is."

The bright smile my son gifts me makes the whole world a brighter place. As he tears toward my room to change into the travel-friendly clothes we picked out, and I head down the hall to wake his brothers, I wonder for the millionth time why everyone but their own father adores them.

**~ oOo ~**

The lead-up to today has been fraught with so many emotions.

I've been nervous, hopeful, worried, excited, but above all, I can't stifle the fear that my boys will hate me for taking them away from everything they know. They were born here; this is their life. They have their Nanny Jude, their father—when he bothers to show—their friends at school and nursery, the only home they've ever known…

And I'm dragging them halfway across the world.

I'm lucky to have parents and siblings who've made the effort to travel out and see us whenever possible. We've been out to see them, too, but not since Arlo was a baby. He probably won't remember the house I grew up in where he took his first steps, or the pool in the backyard where he and his brothers played with Papa Charlie until they were all sun-kissed and waterlogged.

The screensaver on my laptop is a photo from that trip, ten-month-old Arlo chewing on his fist on my knee as I crouched, bare feet buried in the sand, and gazed out at the Atlantic ocean. His brothers are there, too, running along the shoreline. Mom took the picture and sent it to me in a frame two weeks after I returned home. I hung it in the entryway and it's been there ever since, right up until I boxed it up to ship back to the States with the rest of our worldly possessions. The ones we didn't donate or sell, that is.

Nearly four years on, I snap another photo of Arlo on someone's knee. This time, it's his Nanny Jude hugging him around the middle as he stares down at his feet. They're still. He's never still. Except when he's sad or asleep, and he's definitely awake. He's been whining almost non-stop since he finished eating and realized there was no more stalling.

My stomach twists as Jude strokes tears from his red cheeks before giving his brothers the same treatment. Jaxson Lane and Finley Lux, the boys who made me a momma. Now six, they're not babies anymore, however much I hate to admit it.

_Am I making the right decision?_

I have to believe I am. I have to trust my instincts. This move will be good for us. It was always my plan to return home, except I never expected this place to feel like home, too.

There's a _bong _before a perky woman's voice announces via the overhead speakers that it's time for us to board. Arlo's little face scrunches up before he buries it in Jude's knit cardigan. I'll miss those, too; they're always brightly colored and soft as the fluffiest marshmallows. Jaxson and Finley lean against her, their heads all ducked together in a little huddle.

"Boys..."

"No, Momma. It's not time yet," Jaxson whines, his voice muffled.

Jude runs a hand down his back. "Now, now. We talked about this, didn't we?"

Pulling away, he nods and sucks in a deep, shuddering breath. His strength slays me, because I feel anything but strong right now.

"Good boy. And you remember what we agreed?"

"Uh-huh," Arlo interrupts. "I'm gonna call you on Sundays so we can play Go Fish, and we've gotta send you at least one postcard a month with a picture of our faces on it."

Tears well in my eyes. Jude was the one who started up the boys' postcard obsession. After Mom and Dad's visit two Christmases ago, Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo missed them dreadfully. Jude mentioned an app one of her bingo friends used to keep in touch with her grandchildren and I figured anything would be better than the boys repeatedly asking when Nana and Papa were coming back, so we gave it a shot. Every month since, we've chosen their favorite picture from that month and mailed it to my parents in the form of a personalized postcard.

It's a sad sort of irony that Jude was the one who found the app and now she'll be the recipient of the cards.

"Give me a kiss, sweethearts. It's time to go on your adventure on the airplane."

Arlo's hang-dog expression kills me as he reluctantly slides off Jude's lap and lopes over to me, dragging his Spiderman backpack behind him. Jaxson and Finley each kiss one of her cheeks before trailing after Arlo.

"You guys ready?"

The only response I receive is a shrug from Finley, so I blink away tears and manage a weak, shaky smile for Jude, who's abandoned her seat to pull me into a hug. "Take care of yourself, sweetheart. And our boys. I'm going to miss having you right next door."

"We're going to miss having _you _right next door," I admit, squeezing her as hard as I dare. I didn't think this would be so hard. "I'll call you tomorrow, it'll be late when we land—"

"You think I'll be able to sleep without knowing my favorite people have arrived safe and sound?" Pulling back to pat my cheek, Jude laughs softly. "Text or call me when you land, please. I'll be waiting to hear from you."

"All right." My voice quivers. "C'mon, boys. Let's go find our seats."

I force my feet to carry me toward the check-in desk, then hand over our documentation. At the time of booking our flights, I thought it was a good thing that Jude bought the cheapest available plane ticket so she could come through to the gate with us, rather than having to leave us before we checked our bags. Now, as the grinning airport employee hands back our tickets and passports and wishes us a good flight, I realize we were only delaying the inevitable. I can't help but glance back over my shoulder at Jude.

A rueful smile curls my lips when I find her spot empty, the back of her cardigan visible as she marches away.

_She told me she wouldn't be able to watch us leave._

Sucking in a deep breath, I squeeze Arlo's hand and peer down at him and his brothers as they gaze sadly up at me. "Are you ready?"

*Guess so," Finley says as Jaxson and Arlo shrug.

Once we've found our seats on the plane—the boys in the little row of three by the window while I'm on the aisle seat in the center—I shoot a text to Mom telling her we're on the plane, then one to Jude thanking her for everything she's done for me, for _us_. She must have been on her phone already because her typical, all-caps response lights the screen before I can switch it to airplane mode.

_**DON'T BE SILLY SWEETHEART. THE PLEASURE WAS ALL MINE. HAVE A SAFE FLIGHT. LOVE AND KISSES TO YOU ALL. XXX**_

With my cell tucked into my hoodie pocket and my boys safe and sound, I lean back in the seat and pray I haven't made a monumental mistake packing up our home in England to return to my hometown thousands of miles west in Jackson Bay, Florida.


	2. Chapter 2 - Bella

**Just a quick note to say thank you to everybody for their support for this new little story. 100(!) people had this on their  
alerts within twenty-four hours. You guys blow my mind.**

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**Chapter Two**

_**Bella**_

"You're home," Mom says, folding me in her arms as I collapse against her.

It's been a long day.

First, we were delayed taking off at Gatwick thanks to some assholes flying drones near the runway, then we hit turbulence somewhere off the coast of Florida which wound up adding an extra thirty minutes or so to an already long flight. All in all, I think we were in the air for more than ten hours. That's an awful long time for three fidgety boys and their fretting momma.

"Hi, Mom," I breathe, greedily inhaling her familiar perfume as my eyes sting with a mixture of tiredness and relief.

Rubbing his eyes with balled-up fists, Arlo whines, "I'm tired, Momma."

Peering at him resting in Dad's arms, I smile. "I know, Lo. Me, too."

It may only be a little before eight here but we're still on Eastbourne time, and it's almost one a.m. back in England. Even though we all slept for short stretches on the plane, we're exhausted. I wish I could fall straight into bed with my boys and sleep for a week.

Alas, the baggage carousel awaits. Dad carries Arlo for me while Mom gently tugs me along with her arm around my waist, Jaxson clinging to my hand with Finley on his other side. I quietly fill her in, telling her about the boys' excitement when they realized they could watch movies while we flew, and about Finley's disgust when they served up the typical plane fare for dinner. He's my little fusspot when it comes to food. If it's anything other than the color beige or from a Happy Meal box, it's not passing his lips.

By the time we've collected our bags and started making our way toward the parking garage, Arlo is out on Dad's shoulder, Jaxson and Finley are dragging their tired feet, and I'm seriously struggling to keep my eyes open.

It's only when I open the door to the backseat of Mom's Tahoe that I realize I totally forgot we'd need car seats. Thankfully, Mom was on the ball.

"We got them fitted this morning," she tells me when I thank her effusively, carefully buckling Arlo in without waking him. Jaxson and Finley can buckle themselves into the back row, but I lean over the seat to double check them anyway.

"Thanks, Mom." A yawn interrupts me, her smiling eyes bright when I shake it off and offer her a small smile.

"Come on, honey. Let's get you home to bed. We can catch up properly tomorrow."

It takes a shade under three hours to get to Jackson Bay. I sleep through the whole journey. The boys, too. Mom wakes me up in time to see the _Welcome To Jackson Bay _sign as we roll over the hill, though.

At the hill's crest, the beautiful bay I grew up in is spread out before us. The moon reflects off the navy ocean, the lights of a few night owls punctuating the darkness. There are just over a thousand people living here in the bay, so it's a much smaller town than the one we've just come from. I think I'd forgotten just _how_ small it is.

"Welcome home, honey."

Tiredness weighs heavily on my eyelids, but I muster a smile for Mom as she turns in her seat to face me. "It's good to be back."

The brightness in her eyes and the wide smile on her face tells me it's good to have us back. She's been begging me to come home for months; years, even. To be fair, she never wanted me to go in the first place, but she put aside her feelings to be encouraging of my dreams. I've always been grateful for her never-waning support. She _and _Dad, they're the best parents I could ever wish for, and they've been amazing grandparents to the boys even from a distance.

It makes me happy to know they'll be able to see them much more now we're all on the same continent. They'll be able to do all the things other grandparents get to do, like babysit, go on days out, hype the boys up on sugar before sending them home to me...well, when we find a place of our own, anyway. For the time being, we'll live with Mom and Dad in the house where I spent my childhood.

It isn't long before we're pulling onto Sunshine Avenue. The houses are all much the same, the lawns well taken care of and the cars progressively more luxurious. Jackson Bay is small, but The Boardwalk—the main street which starts at the beach, stretches back into the town, and houses most of the stores—acts as the line between the two halves; this side, where my parents live, and the other side, which hosts the more modest homes and the small Bay Hospital. Some of the homes this side of town overlook the ocean, which hikes up their values. Mom and Dad bought theirs when it was run-down and turned it into a gorgeous family home, but I know they've talked about moving to somewhere a smidge smaller with a view of the Atlantic once they have an empty nest.

As we roll onto the short drive leading up to my parents' front door, I can't help but smile despite the ache in my bones and the exhaustion weighting my limbs.

It hasn't changed one bit.

The gray siding is the same, just like the white shutters, the neat lawn, and the shrubbery under the first floor windows. The pots my siblings and I painted as children for Mothers' Days still sit on the porch, and the wooden plaque Dad made right after their wedding is still on the wall.

_The Swans._

Nostalgia warms me as we climb out of the air-conditioned car. Solar lights along the path to the front door lead our way. Arlo shifts in my arms, mumbling gibberish as I carry him inside.

"Whoa," Jaxson murmurs. "It's bigger than I remember."

Dad grins and squeezes his shoulder. "We'll have plenty time to explore, don't worry."

"Hey, kiddo," I whisper, kissing Arlo's head. "We're here."

His eyes peel open just enough to look around the foyer before he murmurs something about Cheetos and drifts off to sleep again.

Resting a hand on my arm, Dad tells me he's set up the guest bedroom for the boys as their room isn't quite ready yet, but I figure they'll be disoriented enough waking up here without being in a different room to me. My childhood home is substantially bigger than the two-bedroom annexe they've called 'home' their entire lives.

"I'll just have them in with me tonight. They'll probably be confused when they first wake up and won't know where to find me, otherwise."

"Ah, we didn't think of that," Dad admits, rubbing his jaw.

"That's okay, it's not a problem."

An eye-watering yawn makes both my parents laugh before they usher me toward the stairs. "We'll see you in the morning. Sleep as long as you like, we'll be here."

"Thank you both." After kissing each of their cheeks, I lug my youngest up the stairs with my eldest two trailing behind, my feet following a familiar path down the hall to my bedroom. It's been my room since the day I was born. It, like the exterior of this house, hasn't changed a bit since the day I left.

As I fall into bed between my boys after taking care of business in the bathroom, I can't help but wonder how the me of today—the me who has three sons and so much more life experience than the girl who used to inhabit this room—will fit into this home, this town, after walking away from it for so long.

"Wakey wakey, sleeping beauty!"

_What the…_

The beaming face poised over me when my eyes flash open isn't the face of my four- or either or my six-year-olds, but that of my twenty-four-year-old sister.

"Everly!"

Although half-asleep, I can't help but grin right back as I sit up and pull her into a hard hug. I've missed her just as much as I missed my parents. She was accepted into Florida State on a swim team scholarship right out of high school, so she couldn't just up and fly to the UK with my parents when they visited. It's been a long slog of Facetime and Messenger calls to get through the time apart from all three of my siblings—Benjamin, Rosalie, and Everly. Since college, Everly has taken over the swim school here in the bay. It's kept her so busy that regular calls have been hard to come by, so I'm glad we're finally in the same town again. The same house, even. The boys will love getting to spend more time with her when they join her summer swim club in July, too.

"I couldn't miss the great homecoming, could I? Or your first morning waking up here after being away so long," she laughs, squeezing me. "It's all Mom and Dad have been going on about for _weeks_, literally." Everly rolls her eyes when she pulls back, but her smile contradicts the gesture. She's as happy to have me home as I am to be here. "So, how was the flight? How was flying a million miles with the boys?"

My heart lurches. "Oh—"

"Don't panic, they're in the kitchen with Mom. Last I saw, they were baking up a storm."

"Right, okay." Blowing out a long breath, I lean back against the headboard and laugh when Everly shifts around to join me. "It was...long. Long by anyone's standards, but for a three little boys it was pretty unbearable. Movies can only keep them stationary for so long, you know?"

"God, I can imagine. I hate long-haul flights."

Poking her leg, I point out the obvious. "That's because you got Mom's legs."

In the gene department, all of Mom and Dad's four kids got a pretty even split. Benjamin is all Dad. I'm much the same but with Dad's dark hair—when it isn't dyed magenta, like it is currently—and Mom's gray eyes, only I inherited what our family affectionately refer to as Petite Swan Syndrome. Most of the women in the Swan family tend to be on the petite side. My dad has six younger sisters and every one is either under five feet tall or only barely above. At just a shade taller than five feet myself, I've definitely inherited that particular gene. My two younger sisters, however, are the tall, blonde, statuesque beauties people read about in romance novels. They get their height _and _their blonde locks from our Mom.

I'm not ashamed to admit I've been jealous in the past.

Shrugging and flipping her hair over her shoulder, Everly flashes her teeth in a pearly-white grin. "_Sooo_, how does it feel to be home? It's been a while."

"Three years," I confirm. "I haven't had time to really adjust yet. We got in late and came straight to bed. Ask me again later when Mom and Dad have filled the boys with sugar."

**~ oOo ~**

Hours later, once Benjamin and Angela, my brother and his girlfriend, have arrived with my three-year-old nephew Danny, my worries about the boys being not settling in have been proven completely unfounded.

After a brief moment of hesitation when their uncle, aunt, and cousin first arrived, I haven't seen any of the kids for more than a few seconds at a time.

Finley can be nervous of strangers, but he seems to be doing just fine. It helps that Jaxson and Arlo slotted in seamlessly and started running around with Danny as soon as he arrived, so he has their example to follow.

Instead of fussing over them, which is what I'm sorely tempted to do, I force myself to relax at the dining table and enjoy having a face-to-face conversation with my brother for the first time in nearly four years. Benjamin hasn't changed a bit. He's still the big goofball I grew up with. He's still loud, cheeky, and enjoys being a wind-up merchant.

Angela, his high school sweetheart and partner of eight years now, is just as fierce as I remember. It's a necessary evil considering she's marrying my oaf of a brother later this year. I wear an almost painful smile when she asks if the boys and I will be in the wedding, then invites me to her dress fitting next month.

If I'd still been in England, fittings would have been just another important thing in a long list of many that I'd miss.

By the time the boys rush inside, their hair sweaty and their faces split by their smiles, the last of my siblings has arrived.

Rosalie sweeps into the room laden with files and barking instructions into the headset tucked into her ear. She flashes us a brief smile before motioning toward the den and mouthing that she'll be right back.

While Everly went off to college to pursue her own dream, Rosalie went into the family business and made Dad's decade by joining him at Swan's Nest, his USA-wide hotel franchise. The last time we spoke, he'd given her more responsibility with the two hotels he owns here in Florida. She was stoked about it even though it takes up way more of her time than she anticipated.

Rosalie and Dad...they're two peas in a pod.

Dad shakes his head with a chuckle. "She could be anywhere from a few minutes away from joining us to a couple of hours. Shall we start getting ready for dinner, then we can catch up with her once she's done?"

A chorus of agreement rings out, so we all scatter. Benjamin, Angela, and Danny head back next door to their house to freshen up, Mom and Dad take Jaxson and Finley with them to get ready, and Everly and I laugh as I tug Arlo away from the windows beside the front door where he's waving to Danny.

"You'll see him again in a little while, Lo," I promise.

Sighing and pushing his hair out of his face, Arlo nods. "'Kay. Can I have my bath in your tub, Aunt Everly?"

Everly's loud laugh makes him smile. "Of course!"

"Sweet!"

In the time I've been away, the Jack and Jill bathroom between my bedroom and Everly's has had an overhaul. I didn't notice last night when I stumbled in to use the toilet, bleary-eyed and half asleep, but the changes were impossible to miss this morning. The old, shallow tub is gone. It's been replaced by a walk-in shower in one corner and a long, deep tub along the other wall.

Arlo's already told me he thinks it's big enough to swim in.

"You know," I murmur, ruffling Arlo's hair. "That's _our_ bath, too, for the time being. We share it with Aunt Everly."

Arlo's eyes widen with glee. "Cool! I'm gonna swim in the tub. It's so _big_!"

"That's my doing," Everly admits with pride. "Dad got fed up with me complaining that I couldn't fit my legs in the old one."

Reaching the hall where our rooms are located, I let Everly take over Arlo's bath time. Her pleading eyes and reminder that she's never had the opportunity before convince me. Plus, it's kind of nice having a chance to get ready without any of my boys underfoot for a change. I love my kiddos, but they can be wild as a box of frogs.

I showered this morning, so I listen to Arlo's giggles and Everly's laughter through the ajar bathroom door as I pick outfits for myself and my boys to wear to dinner. Mom and Dad haven't said where we're going, but knowing their fluctuating tastes, it could be somewhere flashy _or _somewhere casual.

Finally deciding on a simple wrap dress for myself and polo shirts with chino shorts for the boys, I've just finished getting dressed and piling my hair on top of my head in a messy bun when the door to the bathroom flies open.

"Arlo, hold on!" Everly chokes out between giggles, rushing into the room in hot pursuit of my dripping wet son.

"I'm all clean, Momma," he tells me cheerfully, cupping himself and giving me a wide, bright-eyed smile from under his mop of wet hair. It's grown out a lot since his last trim; it hangs past his ears at this point and _way _past his eyebrows.

Cocking my head, I ask, "Do you think it's almost time for a haircut?" At Arlo's quick head-shake, I clarify, "_A trim_, maybe?"

"Maybe a trim," he concedes. "Only a teeny tiny bit though, 'kay?"

"Okay. Now, how about some clothes?"

Everly snorts when Arlo loudly declares that he's proud of his body.

"You've been watching Gok Wan with Nanny Jude again, haven't you?"

The smirk on his face gives the game away. "Maybe…"

So it seems the obsession with fashion shows might have transcended oceans. Ideal.

"All right. Well, c'mon, kiddo. It's time to get dried and dressed. I can take it from here, Ev."

Everly hands over the towel, still laughing as she heads back into the bathroom to get herself ready. "Don't ever change, Arlo," she calls over her shoulder.

"Don't worry Aunt Everly, I won't," my boy chimes happily, completely nonplussed about being butt-naked. Of my three sons, Arlo's the most likely to ditch the duds. He's a miniature nudist, for sure.

"Okay, mister. Let's get you dressed."

Once he's dry and wearing his dinner outfit, I plop him on the bed so I can attempt to tame his hair. He's been blessed with gorgeous, thick, soft locks, but he hates sitting still to have it brushed.

"Are you almost done?" He asks for the millionth time as I gather his mane on top of his head.

"Yep, one second, Lo." I keep a trio of hairbands on my wrist for exactly this. "Red, blue, or black?"

Toying with the hem of his salmon-striped polo shirt, he murmurs, "Black."

"Black it is." Tying his hair up in a knot on the crown of his head, I finally pat his shoulder. "Okay, you're free. Run wild, crazy thing."

And run wild, he does. By the time I make it downstairs with his little rucksack of distractions for while we're out and about, he's sitting on the kitchen island cackling his head off with Rosalie, his hair already in need of another brush.

"You didn't!"

Baring his teeth in a wide grin, Arlo nods vehemently. "I _did_! Momma and Nanny Jude helpded me."

"_Helped_, baby," I gently correct. "What did we help you with?"

His eyes dart to mine, crinkled at the corners with the force of his smile. "We jumped off the big pier, didn't we, Momma?"

Nodding, I enjoy the surprise on my sister's face. "We did. You were such a brave boy." Looking at Rosalie, I promise to find the pictures. "It was hilarious."

Last month, a week after Arlo turned four, he finally got to join the annual charity pier dive. The minimum age requirement is four, but Arlo has been begging to try it ever since he was two and Jude held him while I jumped with Jaxson and Finley. Somewhere, I have photos of us right after we popped up in the water, Arlo still safe in my arms with his floaties around his arms and chest and the biggest, proudest grin on his face. I have a similar shot of me with his brothers after their first jump, and then a series of photos of each jump since.

"Well, little man, you're braver than me," Rosalie tells him. "I'd be way too scared to do something like that."

Arlo visibly puffs up with pride and I'm imbued with the feeling of _this is home _as I join him at the counter and get to watch my sister building bonds with him.

**~ oOo ~**

"Where are we goin'?" Arlo stage whispers.

"To dinner," I whisper back with a smile.

"Well, yeah," he sighs like _duh_. "But _where_?"

Gazing out at the scenery rushing by, I shrug. The streets we're traversing are only vaguely familiar. Jackson Bay hasn't changed that much since the last time I called it 'home,' but I've heard there are a few new stores and restaurants popping up here and there. "I'm not sure, Lo."

"Nana?"

Mom turns her head to face him. "Yes, honey?"

"Where are we goin'?"

Turning her gaze to me, Mom laughs. "Can't you guess?"

Peering out of the window with furrowed brows, I try to place myself as the stirrings of realization start to spread. The film of my old memories blankets the storefronts and shrouds the taller trees that line the sidewalk. I remember skipping along with my sisters as we headed to the park at the end of the street.

Mr. Walters' laundromat is still there, as is the Samuels' bakery that always used to sell the best donuts in Jackson Bay, and Mrs. Paul's ice creamery. The next block is home to a combined barbers and hairdressers, a convenience store, and…

_Oh._

My smile stretches wide as Dad slows, following Benjamin's 4x4 into the parking lot while my eyes take in the glowing red letters above the last store in the little row.

Cullen's Gourmet Burger Co.

Of course they've brought us here. Where else would we go in Jackson Bay but the restaurant owned by my mom and dad's best friend?

I wondered when I'd get to see him, when I'd get to introduce my boys to him, but I didn't expect it to be this soon. Butterflies take flight in my stomach.

"Where are we? Are we there? Why are we stopping?"

Guffawing at Arlo's stream of questions, Dad kills the engine. "Yes, we're here, Arlo. This is our friend's restaurant."

"Oh…" Arlo mouths, scrambling to unbuckle himself. "Can we go in?"

"Sure, come on."

As we all climb out, I can't help but shake my head. Although the lights over the storefront are a different color and the door has been painted a matching apple red, it looks exactly how I remember it. That seems to be a recurring theme, lately. I can't help but wonder if I'm the only change this little town has seen in the last nine years.

Wrapping an arm around my shoulders as I step onto the sidewalk, joining the rest of our family, Benjamin grins. "You having your usual, little sis?"

"I'm sure the menu's changed since I last ate here, Ben."

"Nu-uh," Everly sings, hip-checking me so she can go into the restaurant first. "He's added a couple new things, but the classics are still all here."

Shocked but secretly pleased I'll still be able to get my old favorites, I savor the different aromas as we walk into what was always my favorite place to eat. Burger Co_._ belongs to Dad's best friend, so we used to eat here a lot. Muscle memory has me lifting my foot a tiny bit higher to ascend the small step just inside the door; I reach for Arlo and haul him upright by his shirt as he stumbles over it. Nostalgia sweeps through me as a familiar face steps around the bar to make his way toward us.

"The prodigal daughter returns!" Jones crows, grabbing me for a rough hug complete with a noogie.

Laughing even as my cheeks burn with mortification, I ignore the other customers staring at us and give Jones a good dig in the side with my fingers. He lets go of me with a yelp. "You still don't fight fair, Swan."

"Well, neither do you, Jones. No fair with the ring."

Jones winces, thumbing the band around his right middle finger. "Oops, sorry."

Stepping up with his little arms crossed, Jaxson peers at Jones with a beady-eyed scowl. "You hurt my momma."

Barking a laugh, Jones squats to be eye-level with my son. I can't help but smile at the sight of them assessing each other. "I'm very sorry, little man. You must be Bella's kid, yeah?"

"Jaxson Lane Swan," he confirms, holding up all ten fingers before tucking all but his thumb down on one hand. "I'm six."

Jones purses his lips. "I'd need a few extra hands to show my age on my fingers, but I'm Liam Jones. You can call me 'Jones,' though."

"Are you Momma's friend?"

"I sure am," Jones says, straightening back up and shooting me a wink, "for all my sins."

The introductions continue as Jones seats us at the long table near the window. Arlo is won over the second Jones asks if he wants nachos while we decide what to order. My youngest thinks with his stomach before his head, bless his heart.

Then Jones laughs incredulously when he spots Finley and does a double take between him and Jaxson. Being identical twins, only those who know them well can tell them apart easily. It even took _me _weeks to be one hundred percent confident figuring out who was who when they were babies. Strangers have no chance unless they're wearing something personalized with their name or initiasl.

I only recognize one of the two servers working tonight. Lily just about yanks me out of my seat to hug me, and only barely restrains herself from giving the boys the same treatment—not that they would have minded. They're lapping up all the attention.

Arlo and Danny have already commandeered the end of the booth and hijacked the complimentary nachos Jones brought over before Jaxson and Finley stole his focus.

Mom and Dad, as well as my siblings, are still regulars here just like they were when I left, but it takes me a few minutes while everyone is catching up to read through the menu and refresh my memory. Everly was right, though—the menu _is_ the same except for a couple of specials.

Jones eventually retreats back to the kitchen, promising with a wink to give us a little extra somethin' with our meals. Lily swats him with her notebook, then patiently takes our orders.

"So," Mom says when she returns with our drinks. "Where's the boss this evening?"

Lily's smile fades a little. Quietly, she admits, "He went home early. Rough night."

My chest squeezes. I was hoping to see him. It's been years. I wrack my brain, trying to remember, and then my stomach drops to my feet.

_It was the funeral. That was the last time._

"I'll give him a call later on," Mom decides, her features etched with sympathy as Jones brings all the kids' meals out and unleashes the flood of delicious-smelling food.

Over chilli cheese fries, a katsu curry burger, and freshly squeezed OJ, I get to reconnect with my family. Arlo, Jaxson, and Finley finally get to experience the sort of big family dinners I cherished as a kid. For the first time ever, we're all together in one spot.

It's precious, glorious family time. However, I can't help but glance toward the bar, disappointed that I won't be getting a glimpse of the man I was both nervous and excited to see.

* * *

**Huge hugs and thank yous to **annaharding, Thats-So-Alex, LadyLoonie, Anakinsmom, and LizziePaige **for your help. You ladies rock and I heart you.**


	3. Chapter 3 - Edward

**Just dropping in here to say thank you to everybody for reading, reviewing, and adding this to your lists.  
I love each and every one of you and value your support more than I can say.**

**So...are you ready to meet Edward? ;)**

* * *

**Chapter Three**

_**Edward**_

Numb.

_Feeling numb is normal. Grief is human. You can't and shouldn't run from it._

Scoffing, I sip from my decanter and gaze out at the rolling waves. What does Kendra know about it, anyway?

Thunder rumbles way off in the distance, storm clouds gathering on the horizon.

_Grief is human. You can't and shouldn't run from it._

"Bullshit. I can and I will," I mumble, my voice rough.

Running from my bullshit is what I've done for the past six years, after all.

A vague sense of being watched steals over me. Sweeping my eyes over the shore, I spot Mr. Ellison hobbling along the promenade. He lifts his hand in a wave when he sees me looking.

My half-assed salute amuses him, his weathered laugh riding the wind.

Tossing back the last of my bourbon, I keep an eye on Mr. Ellison until he's safely through the gate leading into his yard. He's been my neighbor ever since I moved in; I made a promise to his late wife to watch out for him before she died.

Six years ago, I broke a promise that will haunt me for the rest of my life. I'll never willingly break another.

My phone pings from the kitchen, but I'm not in the mood to hear Kelly pretending to have an issue at the restaurant. It'll just be an excuse to check on me; well-meaning, idle chit-chat is nowhere near my to-do list this evening. Only two things sit on that list—drinking to the bottom of the bourbon bottle and keeping my mind distracted from the mess that is my life.

**~ oOo ~**

It isn't until I wake up the following morning and see twelve notifications on my cell that I remember…

_Bella came home yesterday._

A pang of guilt worms its way through me. Charlie and Renee have been so excited for their daughter to return from England, and I know they planned to come into Burger Co. with her and their grandsons last night. I said I'd be there. My thumb hesitates over the tag from Benjamin before finally pressing down. Despite the dull throb of my bourbon-induced headache, I smile at the picture. Benjamin, Bella, Rosalie, and Everly have their arms thrown around each other, their smiles wide and happy as they stand in front of my bar. Benjamin uploaded it, but he tagged my business page; it's the only one I use regularly.

After liking and sharing the image to Burger Co.'s page, I take another look, only then realising that Bella's once-brown hair is now a rich, vibrant magenta. Not pink but also not purple, it's...pretty. Long and wavy, just like it used to be, but far more colorful. It suits her. Adulthood suits her, too.

Rubbing my eyes, I toss my legs over the side of the couch and sit up properly, attempting to reconcile the tiny teenager that left America with this _woman_. She's partly hidden behind a table, but the parts of her I can see have definitely...matured.

Frustration and guilt war within me as the morning wood that had been fading away responds with eagerness to the beautiful curves in front of me.

_I'm drooling over my best friend's daughter, now? _"Fucking hell, Cullen. Get a grip," I mutter, glancing at the rest of the notifications—a few on Facebook, messages from Jones, Kelly, and Lily checking on me, and a voicemail from Renee both asking how I am and wondering why I bailed after agreeing to be there when she and Charlie brought their whole family to dinner—before tossing my phone onto the cushion beside me and heading to the kitchen.

I'm gonna need a bucket of coffee before I face Renee later, that's for sure.

**~ oOo ~**

Sure enough, disappointment shrouds Renee when she opens the door a few hours later. Her eyes brighten as they take in the bouquet of flowers in one hand and the box of chocolates—her favorites—in the other. "You're forgiven." Tugging me into her arms for a hug that's far harder than her slender frame would have you believe her capable of, she murmurs, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I tell her gruffly, giving her back a pat and managing a smile when she pulls back. "For you."

"Thank you. They're beautiful, and you know I love my chocolate seashells."

I do know that, which is why I stopped at the store on the way over here.

"Come on in, then." I hadn't noticed it before, but there's an added brightness to her smile today. An extra note of happiness in her voice.

The reason, or one of them, for both beams at me from the breakfast bar as I follow her mom into the kitchen.

"Hi, Edward."

Before I can respond—or make sense of the way my chest clenches with the sound of my name, my _real name_, falling from her lips—Bella is slipping off the stool and winding her arms around my waist.

That's right. She's a hugger, like Renee. I remember now. _Un_like her mom, she's a short little shit. My hands rest carefully on her back, the warmth of her cheek against my chest not at all unwelcome, surprisingly. An instinctive smile curls my lips as she steps back, her gray eyes the exact same mischievous gaze I remember. It's been years since I've seen those smiling eyes. The last time she was here, I was out of town. The time before that…

There wasn't much smiling going on.

"You made it home, then. Did you get lost? It's been a while."

Snorting, Bella hops back onto her stool and continues eating her bowl of fruit salad. Her expression is soft as she glances at Renee, who can't hide her glee for shit. "It was time," Bella simply says, spearing some watermelon.

Sucking in a deep breath, I take a quick look around the room. I can see evidence of Bella's kids, the grandsons I've heard so much about but never met, but they're nowhere to be seen. "Did you forget a few things? Probably yay big, likely loud and terrors like their mother…"

Renee laughs. "Oh, don't. They're very well-behaved, actually."

She misses Bella's very softly whispered _for now_, but I don't. Shooting her a wink, I take great pleasure in the rosy flush that tints her cheeks. It _almost_ matches the faded ends of her hair, where the pigment isn't as strong.

"They're next door," Bella explains. "Ben and Angela volunteered to let them help Danny trash his playroom. Plus, I have about a million things to sort out and house hunting to start—"

"And I've told you, sweetheart," Renee stands behind her daughter and squeezes her shoulders. "There's no rush. You _and _the boys are welcome here for as long as you'd like to stay. Stay forever, if you want to."

Bella and I both laugh, but we also know Renee is deadly serious. She'd happily have all of her kids and grandkids under one roof if they'd go for it. When Benjamin and Angela bought the house right next door, the next best thing to staying right here, she was over the moon. Having Bella and her sons back, Renee will be beside herself for weeks. There's nothing she likes more than having lots of people to fuss over.

Maybe with Bella and her boys around, Renee will be distracted enough that she won't be mothering me so much for a while. Well-meaning or not, she can be a bit much when you just want peace and quiet.

_Or not. _She reminds me that I've lost weight as she rounds the counter and picks up the coffee pot. "Coffee, EC?"

"Please." It's my fifth so far this morning, but it's very much needed if I'm going to make it through the day. The dull throb of a hangover threatens, but I've lived with a near-constant headache for the past six years. It won't kill me.

"God, I forgot. EC…Everyone still calls you that?"

Offering Bella a wry half-smile, I nod and lean back against the counter. "You started it. Do you remember?"

"Of course!"

.

.

_Fucking ties. I knew I should have asked Kate to tie it for me before I left Utah. I could have just loosened it and lifted it over my head to put back on now._

_Finally deciding it's probably as good as it's gonna get, I suck in a deep breath and look up at the building in front of me. _

_Swan's Nest In The Bay._

_I've done my research. There are six hotels in the Swan's Nest franchise—so far all on the East coast except one. The one I've worked at as a porter for the last two years is in my home state, Utah. Mr. Charlie Swan is the founder and CEO. He's self-made and now easily the second richest guy in Jackson Bay after the founding family. __His company prides itself on good, honest work and great customer service, but being a porter or a waiter isn't my calling. I want to get to the top. I want to work my way up, become Mr. Swan's right hand, learn from him, then start my own business._

_But I need to get a job here first. Baby steps and all that. I may only be eighteen, but I'm willing to graft for what I want_—_a future for me and Kate, hopefully here in Jackson Bay. It's a lot different to my hometown, but I love it so far._

_A smiling blonde greets me when I step through the doors. She motions for me to wait a moment while she finishes helping an elderly couple check out, but I'm too nervous to take the chair she indicates, so I stand over by the windows overlooking the bay instead._

_"Are you here for an interview?"_

_Holy—_

_"Sorry." The little girl who scared the ever-loving shit out of me grins brightly. "Daddy says I shouldn't sneak. Did I make you jump?"_

_"A little," I admit, raking a hand through my hair._

_The kid, who can't be older than six or seven, grins a big, gap-toothed smile. "Are you here for an interview? Daddy sent me to get the next guy." As she pulls a pink Post It from her overalls pocket, I see my name written in big letters. "Are you...E Cullen?"_

_"I am, indeed." Suddenly, as she gestures for me to follow her, I realize this girl must be Mr. Swan's kid. I can't help but ask… "Have lots of people come for interviews with your dad?"_

_She shrugs. "Nah. You're number three, I think."_

_Number three. Huh. Not too much competition, then._

_It occurs to me that it's odd for a kid her age to be running around alone in a hotel, then she waves at the receptionist on her way past and greets her by name. As we walk through the 'Staff Only' doors, she calls out to two porters taking a sandwich break. Again, she knows their names. Then, when we reach a small waiting room at the end of the hall, another receptionist behind a desk smiles and calls her over. I guess she spends a lot of time here to know everyone._

_"Well done, Bella. You found him."_

_"What shall I do now, Lisa?"_

_After telling Bella to hang around and wait for her dad, Lisa turns to me and directs me to a club chair near another set of windows. _

_Just feet away from the man I'm desperate to impress, I can't sit. Instead, I stand in front of the glass overlooking the bay. I met Mr. Swan once. He was visiting the hotel in Utah—Swan's Nest On Salt Lake—and I was the guy chosen to show him to his room. He was kind and didn't laugh at me when I stuttered through all the usual info, forgetting that he would already know it all. When I admitted that I wanted to be like him someday, he patted me on the shoulder and told me hard work and perseverance would get me there._

_I can only hope he was right and wonder if he'll remember me, the nervous kid who swore when I apologized for the boring check-in speech._

_I grin when Bella skips over and cocks her head._

_"Do you need help with that?" She asks, nodding at my tie as I mess with it again._

_My eyebrows lift. "You know how to do ties?"_

_"Sure. Stand there."_

_Lisa laughs. "You may as well do as she says. She's a force of nature just like her father."_

_Blindly following Bella's instructions, I find myself standing beside the chair while she hops up to stand on the cushions to sort out my tie._

_"I help Daddy with his tie all the time. Momma taught me how."_

_"That's cool."_

_"S'this your initials? EC?"_

_Nodding, I watch as she trails her finger over the embroidered letters at the bottom of the tie. "Yeah, for 'Edward Cullen.'"_

_For having such small hands, she expertly manhandles my tie into submission and has it looking perfect just as the phone on Lisa's desk rings._

_Offering me a reassuring smile, Lisa nods for me to head into the office. "Go ahead. Good luck."_

_Sucking in a shaky break, I steel myself. Bella jumps neatly from the seat and beams at me. "Knock 'em dead, EC. Just be confident and cool and Daddy will appreciate it."_

_._

_._

She was right, too. I reminded myself of her advice throughout the interview and by the time I walked out of the office thirty minutes later, she was waiting to give me a high five when Charlie told Lisa to set me up because I had the job. He _did _remember me, as it happens.

And the nickname—EC—stuck.

"Gosh, that was a long time ago now," Bella muses.

I quickly do the math. "Twenty years this year."

"Is that how long it's been?" Renee asks, handing me a cup of coffee and a slice of homemade apple pie—'because you've lost weight.' "I can't believe we've known each other for two decades."

Neither can I. In that time, so much has changed. Swan's Nest has gone from strength to strength. Charlie has become my best friend rather than my boss. He and his family are _my _family, too. I went from being a porter at his Jackson Bay hotel to owning my own successful business. I worked my way up through the ranks over time, learning from Charlie all the while. Then with his tutelage and guidance, Cullen's Gourmet Burger Co_. _flourished in its early days and continues to do well now, years later.

Without him, I wouldn't be where I am now. There's no doubt about it, not in my mind at least.

And without Renee, I wouldn't have to run a bunch of miles three times a week to get rid of my homemade-goods weight.

**~ oOo ~**

After another mug of coffee and a brief catch up, I heave myself off the bar stool beside Bella and say my goodbyes. Renee reminds me about brunch on Saturday—as if I could forget—and walks me out, goading me into promising I'll be there. She knows I never break a promise, not anymore, but the prospect of spending a ton of time pretending to be over-the-moon happy just doesn't appeal.

"I've got a lot going on at the restaurant at the moment, but I'll do my best, okay?"

She eyes me shrewdly but doesn't argue, so I offer Bella another 'goodbye,' plant a kiss on Renee's cheek, and hurry my ass to my Jeep before she can ask any questions. Guilt worms its way through me as I head toward Burger Co. I'm happy for them. I'm happy Bella's home. I know how much it's killed Charlie and Renee having her halfway around the world all these years. It only got worse when she had her sons and they had to make do with visits here and there when their schedules allowed them.

Besides that, I can't deny that it's good to see Bella. It's been years, and I've known her since she was just seven years old and knew how to tie a tie better than I did.

The memory of her pigtail-framed grin and bright gray eyes as she nicknamed me 'EC' makes me smile as I pull up at a stoplight. She was barely older than her eldest boys are now. Far from being the bouncy little kid who showed me around the hotel that first day, she's now both a mom and most definitely all grown up.

As the day progresses, the energy I used up socializing this morning leaves me with little patience and a short temper. The new server bears the brunt of it as I deal with one fuck-up after another before finally throwing in the towel and retreating to my office where it's quiet and no fuckin' idiots dare to bother me.

_Tap, tap_.

Or not.

"_Fuck's sake. _Come in."

The door slides open, a very pregnant Tanya waddling her way into the room. She grimaces as she lowers herself into the seat in front of the desk without me telling her to.

Shaking my head, I lean back in my chair and crack my neck. "Make yourself at home," I tell her.

"I will, thanks." Blowing out a long breath, Tanya gives her bump a pat. "We need to talk cover."

It takes every bit of willpower I have to stop myself from whining "I don't want to" like a toddler. Every single bit. I settle for grumbling a few curses and pulling a face; she rolls her eyes and laughs in response.

"I know the prospect of losing me scares you, EC, but it's tough. I can hardly be here with a newborn, can I?"

With a shrug, I petulantly point out that she _could_. She doesn't work in the kitchen and she wore her first three daughters in slings for the first year anyway. She could serve and wear this baby, too.

"Anyway…" _So we're ignoring that. Great._ "Have you advertised yet? This girl could come any day now."

"No, I haven't. I still have time, don't worry."

Truth is, I've been procrastinating—and Tanya likely knows it. She's my best server. When I'm not here, there's nobody I trust more to keep front of house running smoothly or to kick the kitchen crew's butts when they step out of line. And now she's taking off to have baby number four with my head chef, which means I'll lose him for a few weeks, too.

"EC, look. Why don't you let me help? I know some people who might be interested in summer work. Or, hell, why don't you let Jones step up? He knows what he's doing."

"I'd need another KP, though," I point out, not completely against the idea, just mostly. "I'd rather have the least amount of changes as possible."

Her icy blue eyes are bright with amusement as she shakes her head at me. In the corner of my eye, I see her hand shoot to her bump and the ever-so-slight protrusion of a foot or an elbow. My stomach rolls. Standing so quickly my chair squeaks, there's no missing the knowing expression on Tanya's face before she heaves herself out of her seat and makes for the door.

"I'll leave you in peace, but _think about it_, EC. I know a couple of people who'd be grateful of the work even if just for the summer while I'm off."

"I'll bear it in mind."

She knows from my tone that I'm done talking about it. Tanya was my first real friend here, and my first hire. The first employee of Cullen's Gourmet Burger Co. besides me. We've known each other for years, so she's well aware of how I function. It's nice to have that. She can tell when I'm done talking, but equally, Tanya always knows when to push.

This time, she's evidently decided it's not worth it. I'm glad.

With my office blessedly empty once more, I can't resist a peek. Sitting back in my chair with a stiff spine and a burn in the back of my eyes that never really quits, I slowly slide open the top drawer of my desk and suck in a deep breath. The back of the frame stares up at me. Taunting. Tempting. Terrifying.

When my fingertips reach out to touch the pink velvet backing, I tense and snatch my hand away, slamming the drawer shut with the other.

_No. Not today._

I don't have the strength to say 'goodbye' again tonight.

* * *

**Huge hugs and thank yous to **annaharding, Thats-So-Alex, LadyLoonie, Anakinsmom, and LizziePaige **for your help. You ladies rock and I heart you.**


	4. Chapter 4 - Bella

**So I haven't got a ton to say here except thank you to everyone for sharing, commenting, reviewing, recc'ing...and just generally  
loving on this story so hard. I heart you all!**

**Also thank you to A Different Forest for the recommendation this week! I knew a few new readers have joined us from there, so welcome :)**

* * *

**Chapter Four**

_**Bella**_

"Be careful of the little ones, boys!" I warn as Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo tear down the stairs dressed in their rash guard tops and board shorts.

"We will!" Finley promises, but it wasn't really him I was talking to. He's the gentlest of the three—it's his loony brothers I'm concerned about. They're both hyped up on sugar after spending the morning baking sugar cookies with Mom and Danny, and we've got one of our cousins here who is younger than them and less confident in the water.

Out by the pool, I find Mom and Angela sitting at the table with Claire, my cousin's wife. Her husband, Aaron, is over by the grill with Dad, Benjamin, and Grandpa Freddie. As usual, the guys and the girls have separated so the men can congregate around the grill and show off their masculinity.

_Yawn._

As I join the women at the table, I spot Little Grandma supervising the toddler pool on the grass and can't help but smile. Instead of leaping into the pool with his brothers, Finley has taken a detour and veered over to see her. She's watching AJ, Aaron and Claire's two-year-old. In the big pool, Jaxson and Arlo have joined Danny.

Brunches at Mom and Dad's have always been a big family affair. It looks like that hasn't changed in my absence. Aaron and Claire have travelled into town to see his parents, my aunt and uncle. They live just outside the bay, but Aaron and I are the same age and were in the same grade, so I've always been closer to him than my other cousins and he said he couldn't resist visiting now I'm back with the boys. It's their first time meeting, so I make sure to take photos.

Ever since I was little, I've loved taking pictures and making albums. Before I left high school, I made albums for each of my closest friends and filled them with pictures of us all. I still have mine in my bedroom upstairs; I wonder if they still have theirs.

"Your boys are just darling, Bella," Claire tells me as I sink into a seat between her and Mom.

Grinning with pride, there's no way I'm going to deny that. It's the truth, after all. "Thank you. I think they're pretty great."

"Isn't Arlo the spit of you?" She breathes, watching my youngest climb out of the pool, demand everybody's attention, and flip back into the water to their cheers.

"I actually think he looks a lot like Ben," I admit. "But it's nice to know _one _of my boys resembles me, even just a little. Jax and Finn are all their father." _Which I'm not bitter about at all, obviously. _"They have an uncle on his side and it's like looking into the future."

It's always creeped me out how much Jaxson and Finley look like Robert, their may-as-well-have-been-a sperm donor's younger brother. They may have my natural shade of dark brown hair as well as my gray eyes, but their features...they're all Holder. Then there's Arlo with my ex's blond hair and dark eyes.

Mom's hand landing on my forearm reminds me that I'm in company. The frown that always accompanies thoughts of my ex loosens, and I manage a smile which reassures her—for now at least.

It's a little awkward for a moment, presumably because Claire wants to ask about the boys' father but doesn't know how, but my littlest guy saves the day.

"Momma, Momma, Momma!" Arlo screeches, landing in my lap with a wet slap.

"Oh, Lo!" He's _soaked_, and now so am I. Fantastic. "You're drenched!"

"Sorry, Momma, but look! I can do it, watch me!"

"Do what?" I mumble, standing so I can steal one of the towels I brought down for the boys to pat my legs dry. Thankfully I'm in cut-offs, so it's mostly just _me_ that's wet, not my clothes.

"Watch, Momma!" Arlo repeats, running back to the pool with Mom laughingly reminding him not to run by the pool. He chirps an unapologetic sounding apology before sucking in a deep breath and executing a pretty decent dive into the pool with only a little splash.

Everly leans out of her bedroom window to congratulate him—and Arlo lights up like a Christmas tree. The praise from our family members down on the patio only adds to his delight, but the grin he gives me when I lift him from the pool by his hands and give him a squishy hug despite how wet it gets me is the best.

After getting changed, I rejoin everybody outside and do the rounds as we eat. Little Grandma and Grandpa Freddie tell me how happy they are that I finally came home and compliment me endlessly on how wonderful the boys are. I didn't realize until they arrived earlier just how much I'd missed them—I've seen them twice in the nine years I've been away. Grandpa's health is up and down, and Little Grandma doesn't like to be away from home, so both of those times were when I flew back to Florida.

I chit-chat with my cousin and his wife and catch up on their plans to settle down with AJ now he's heading toward preschool. They've been exploring the world since before he was born, but they're ready to settle into a house and put down some roots now, preferably in Jackson Bay. We're in the same boat, in that respect.

"We just want somewhere AJ can grow up, you know?" Claire tells me as we women folk clear up. The men cooked, so this is our show while they kick back and watch the kids leap around on the grass with the water guns Benjamin brought over from his place.

Both tired after a hectic morning of running around after their grandchildren, Little Grandma and Grandpa head off after dishing out pocket money to the kids and hugs to the adults.

"I get it," I tell Claire, because I do. "I loved living in England, but I want the boys to have memories of the sand between their toes and the Fourth of July parade." Peering out at Dad pulling Arlo onto his lounger so he can tickle his belly with his mustache, I sigh wistfully and smile. "I want them to have _that_."

Claire follows my gaze and laughs, and I know she knows what I mean. "Ron is exactly the same with AJ. He always gets him full of sugar when we take him over there."

"These two are the same," I tease Mom with a hip-bump as she carries a few more dishes inside.

She flashes us a saccharine sweet smile and shrugs. "It's the job of the grandparents to spoil their grandbabies." Dumping the dishes in the sink, she points a dirty wooden spoon at me. "And we have a lot of catching up to do, so you can't complain even one little bit, honey."

"I'm not complaining, I was just _commiserating_ with Claire."

"_Commiserating_," Mom huffs, hugging me around the middle before nudging me out of the way. "Get outside and enjoy the last of the sun, ladies. I can handle this. I'm going to put most of it in the dishwasher anyway."

After double and triple checking that she's sure, Claire and I head back outside just in time to catch the tail-end of Dad and Benjamin's conversation. My ears perk up.

"So, EC?" Benjamin is asking as I slide behind Finley on a lounger. He nestles back into my chest but continues playing whatever game Benjamin has loaded onto his iPad. Some kind of train-chasing game, it looks like.

Dad sighs and takes a long pull of his Corona before saying anything. "I don't know what's gotten into him lately. He's all over the place."

Benjamin frowns. "You don't think it's the baby, do you?"

_The baby? Who's baby?_

"I don't know, son. You could be right."

"What baby?" I can't help but ask. The words are out there before I've even made up my mind to say them.

Dad and Benjamin glance my way. "The head chef at the restaurant, his wife's due any day now," my brother explains, his expression tightening. "They're havin' a girl."

_Oh. _Suddenly, I realize I already knew that. I met Tanya the other day, the wife of Burger Co.'s head chef. It didn't compute in my brain until now.

"Yeah," Dad sighs, gazing up at the sky. He and Edward have been friends for years; they're more like brothers than friends, really. Dad has drunkenly referred to Edward as his wayward younger brother many times. I know it kills him when Edward is hurting.

"Wasn't he supposed to be here today?" I wonder, remembering Mom told me this morning that she was expecting him.

"He texted earlier. Something about the new menu and a printing fuck-up."

A silly, insecure part of me wonders if _I'm _the reason he's been AWOL recently. The morning after we went to Burger Co., Mom admitted she was mad Edward hadn't been there like he said he would be. Then he showed up with flowers and chocolates and won her right over, just like that. Now there's this, him missing brunch.

_Is it because of me? _I can't help but—perhaps foolishly—wonder, even though the idea of him avoiding me puts a rock in the pit of my stomach and a sour taste on my tongue. Not to mention a whole lot of confusion because I have no idea why he'd be avoiding me.

Just as I'm about to ask more questions, Everly carries my cell out to me and mouths that it's someone about an interview. Excitement and nerves shoot through my veins as I raise it to my ear.

"Hello, this is Bella Swan. Speaking?"

"_This is Jane Vaughn, from Vaughn's. You left your resume last week so I'm just calling to see if you're free for an interview on Monday. We haven't had any other applicants, so it's pretty much yours if you want it, but formalities..."_

"I _am _free, that would be great!" Shooting Dad a silly smile and a thumbs up, I confirm a time with Jane and promise to see her Monday before hanging up with a whoop. I don't even care that she sounded so blasé about it and basically said I'm only likely to get it because nobody else applied. A job is a job.

It's one step closer to getting my life here on track.

"I've got an interview Monday. At Vaughn's."

Dad nods approvingly. "That's great, honey. It's not too far, and it's right next to Burger Co_. _if you have any problems."

My stomach erupts with butterflies. Being next door to Burger Co. hadn't even entered my mind until he pointed it out, but he's right. The convenience store is right next to Edward's restaurant. If he _is_ avoiding me, it'll be a lot harder with me so close.

"I'm sure I'll be fine, Dad."

"Sure you'll be fine with what?" Mom joins us out on the patio, looking between me and Dad with confusion.

She's just as pleased as I am that I've got an interview so soon since arriving back in Jackson Bay. She's not stoked that it renews my vigor for finding a place to move into with Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo, but I take onboard her point that settling into a new job will take up enough time without throwing myself full steam ahead into house hunting.

"I'll hold off on looking for a house until I've started work and settled in," I promise, just to placate her, but the excitement doesn't abate and I spend the rest of the weekend crossing everything that this job will just be the start of good things to come here in Jackson Bay.

**~ oOo ~**

"You got this, Momma."

Twisting in my seat to grin at my boys, I reach out a closed fist. "Thanks, baby."

Jaxson taps my fist with his, then his brothers follow suit. "Are you nervous?"

Turning back to face the tiny convenience store, I can't help but quickly glance next door at Burger Co. and wish my interview could have been there. It's closed right now, but the prep chef is probably inside getting things started ready for the lunch time crowd. At least I'd know some people if I worked there.

"A little," I finally admit.

It's been a long time since I've had a first day of a new job. Back in England, I had the same two jobs the entire time I lived there. I worked at the coffee shop around the corner from our home, and later, I worked part-time for a small publishing house.

This is totally outside my comfort zone. Not to mention that Jane Vaughn was openly hostile with me when I went for my interview on Monday. The name didn't ring a bell until I saw her in person and realized she's none other than Jane the Pain, the girl who mercilessly bullied Everly throughout middle school before transferring out of state when her parents relocated. Her uncle, Aro, is the owner of the store, and I guess she's moved back to help him run it. Mom didn't even know yet, so it must have been recent—she and her crochet club are the worst for gossip in Jackson Bay. They know all the good stuff before anyone else.

"Nana's here!" Jaxson crows as Mom pulls into the parking lot in Dad's car. We're trading today—I'll take his convertible so she can take her SUV back. That way we don't have to keep swapping the car seats over.

I can't wait until I have my own car and this car-swapping business will be a thing of the past.

"All right." Turning back around to face the boys, I give them what Finley has dubbed the 'Mom-brow.' It strikes fear in even the wildest of kiddos. "You're going to behave for Nana today, right?"

"Right," they chime in unison, each drawing an imaginary halo around their head as they don impish smiles.

I don't believe them for a second, but they're her problem today.

"Okay. I'll see you later. Momma loves you all."

"Love you, Momma," they sing, blowing me kisses.

Mom offers me a reassuring smile and a hug as soon as I step out of the car. "You'll be fine, honey. I can see you're nervous but you've no need to be. You've got this."

"That's what Jax said," I laugh—a little nervously.

Mom's expression softens. "If the worst happens and you absolutely hate it, you know we could find you something to do at the hotel—"

"All right, I'd better get going, Mom. Thanks for having the boys!"

She takes my interruption with the good humor it was intended, laughing all the way into her car as she tosses me the keys to Dad's car and climbs in to join the boys. With them occupied, I've got no other option than to bite the proverbial bullet and head into Vaughn's.

**~ oOo ~**

Hanging my jacket on the hook in the hall with a heavy sigh, I try to push the stress of the day out of my mind.

As it turns out, this new job? Not the start of good things. Or even okay things, to be honest. Jane Vaughn is still the laziest, most self-centered person I've ever met and Aro is such a wet lettuce that he lets her waltz around doing whatever she likes all day while barking at me to do her jobs as well as mine.

That said, it all melts away when I walk through the house and lean in the doorway overlooking the backyard. Mom is perched on the end of a lounger beside the pool taking photos as Dad tosses the boys, one-by-one, into the water by one arm and one leg. After popping up cackling and spluttering, they scramble to climb out to get back into the line to go again.

It's a picture-worthy moment, for sure.

Only after snapping a few photos and a short video do I announce my presence with a cough and a grin when they all turn to look at me—well, all except Finley, who gets a brief glimpse of me before he hits the water. When he breaks the surface, he offers me a wave with one hand while he brushes his wet hair back with the other.

"Hey, Momma!"

"Hey, honey," Mom says, jumping up to loop an arm around my waist. "How was it?"

Glancing back over at the boys, who are once more focused on Dad and their fun new game, I lead Mom over to the table and sit down heavily with a long, heavy exhale. Her sympathetic frown makes me smile. "It wasn't _that _bad, but it wasn't good. Put it that way."

"Oh, sweetheart."

"It's okay, it was probably just a fluke. First day issues, that's all. Anyway, what I _really _want to talk about is what you guys all got up to today. How were the boys? How did you get on?" Distraction is key with Mom. I learnt that early on.

"Oh, this and that." Mom's face lights up as she talks about the boys—the same way her face always lit up when we video called and she'd tell me about babysitting Danny. It's adorable and heartwarming and everything I wanted when I imagined moving back here.

"Don't forget lunch," Dad reminds her as he joins us part way through her retelling of their day. "That sure was somethin', watching those boys cram pizza into their mouths as quickly as possible."

"Don't you know? I don't feed them," I tease, laughing when Dad tells me it's obvious.

The boys play happily on the grass while Mom and Dad fill me in on the rest of their day. They played in Dad's office at In The Bay for a couple of hours, then Mom and Dad took them for pizza at a pizzeria on the beach. Apparently it's a great place run by a family who, like ours, has been here for several generations.

"Do you remember the Georges?"

Nodding slowly, I can vaguely remember a couple of faces. "Didn't they have a daughter in Everly's grade?"

Mom nods. "That's right, Liv. They bought the old bar on the beach not long after you left and slowly restored it to its former glory. It's a really lovely little place now."

"That's great! We needed some variety around. I bet it takes a bit of the strain off Edward and Burger Co., too."

"It does, not that he particularly appreciates it. He prefers to keep busy, you know?"

I don't, but I can imagine why he likes to keep his mind occupied.

The six of us spend the evening out on the patio courting the sunset before heading inside. After feeding the boys dinner and taking pictures of them falling asleep in it, I wrangle them into pajamas and bed, tucking them all in with smooches to their sun kissed cheeks and a warmth in my chest that tells me we might just be okay here, crappy new job be damned.

Besides, working at Vaughn's can only get better.

**~ oOo ~**

By shift three at Vaughn's, I've lost all hope of it ever improving.

Having me there seems to give Jane the impression she's not needed except to rule over the store, shouting orders from her position in the office where she stinks the place out with her nail polish—which apparently needs redoing every other day—and spends half her time talking noisily on the phone. The business phone, might I add. I hate to imagine the bill on that thing.

Arriving for my first late shift on Wednesday, I'm just in time to see Jane flouncing out of the stock room with her cell in one hand and a bag of groceries I bet she didn't pay for in the other.

"Oh, _there _you are! It's about time."

Glancing at my watch, I frown. "I'm fifteen minutes early."

Mom is taking the boys to the beach with Angela and Danny, so I figured I'd earn some brownie points and head to work a little early. I wish I hadn't bothered now.

Jane is the sort of woman who wears too much makeup and not enough clothes. The uniform code is pretty casual here, but it definitely doesn't allow the mini skirt and crop top she's wearing. Not the way I read it, anyway.

As she scowls at me, her eyes narrow and she shifts impatiently in her heels. "I've got plans, Bella. Not all of us want to sit around here all day."

I refrain from pointing out that _I _don't get to sit around at all. Instead I bite my tongue and force a smile. Sometimes it's easier just to placate her, even if I'm not sorry at all. "I'm very sorry. Won't happen again."

"Good." She breezes past me, the smell of perfume around her so strong that I sneeze three times before Jane leaves the store with a huff and a disgusted look over her shoulder.

"What a fucking—"

"Oh, and another thing!" Biting my lip _hard_, I turn to see her in the doorway. "The delivery arrived, so you need to get that sorted."

With that, she's gone. _Actually_ gone this time, thank the lord.

After locking my purse in the cupboard under the counter, I take a chance and dart out into the stock room to see what I'm dealing with.

"You have _got _to be kidding me."

Before I left yesterday, I made sure everything in there was tidy and organized. I put out the overs from the previous day and sorted the delivery. All Jane needed to do was restock the things that ran out throughout the afternoon and evening, yet...the room is a complete and utter mess. Boxes are strewn over the floor and today's delivery is mixed up with all the older stock.

_There goes my chances of getting out of here on time_, I realize with a muffled scream of frustration into my hands.

"_Hello? Is anybody here?"_ A voice calls from out front.

Shutting the door on the mess to think about later, I somehow manage to plaster what I'm sure is an unconvincing smile on my face. It's Mr. Walters, from the laundromat down the street. His unceasing ability to talk absolute bullshit distracts me temporarily, but there's no escape from the shitstorm behind the stock room door and it taunts me whenever I look over there.

**~ oOo ~**

Throughout the afternoon and evening, whenever I get a lull, I try to sort bits and pieces so I won't have to do it all later on. The mixed up stock is the killer. It's the most time-consuming and also the most frustrating. Some of it, like the fresh things, have short dates anyway and should have been put out this morning.

Between serving customers, tidying up the shop, and re-organizing the shitshow of a stock room, it all takes way too long.

By the time I sign for the day's—thankfully small—delivery and put that where it needs to go, it's nearly ten. Then I have to move on to the cleaning and cashing up part of my shift. Turning the 'open' sign to 'closed' never felt so good.

Thankfully, the sound system behind the counter works just fine, so I can at least boogy and sing into the end of my mop to try and cheer myself up.

Thanks to the menial tasks, my mind wanders. Even though I know I shouldn't, I compare our life in England to our new life here. It's still new, still fresh and early days. I need to give it a chance. Even so, it's frustrating that it's not as perfect as I foolishly hoped it would be. At least right now, right off the bat. It's not all bad, not by a long shot, but there are downsides. This job, for one. Well, I could probably cope with the job. It's the owner of the store and his bitch of a niece I can't stand. I can only hope things improve because job opportunities here in Jackson Bay are scarce. I know Mom and Dad would help me out and find something for me to do at In The Bay if I asked. Hell, they'd probably love it if I went to work for them.

But I remember working there throughout high school. This job is dull—working there was worse. The only upsides were the people and the hours, really.

There's also my ridiculous pride that won't allow me to go back to my high school job working for my parents. It's silly and I know it to think that way, but I can't help it. I left to become successful, not to return to the same job I left as an eighteen-year-old. It's bad enough that everyone in town must be wondering about the boys' father and why I've come back without him. I don't want to be gossip fodder for the next decade. Going back to the hotel, I'm sure to have a million questions to answer from the staff there.

Here in Jackson Bay, jobs are life-long—for the most part, anyway. The same people I worked with back then still work there. It was one of the things Dad used to try and entice me back with, not realizing it would do the opposite and put me off.

Tucking the mop and bucket back into the corner of the small cleaning cupboard, I shake off my morose thoughts and stifle an eye-watering yawn. It's thirty minutes past midnight and I was meant to finish at eleven thirty. I'm relieved I thought to text Mom earlier to warn her I'd be late. She and Dad would have been worried otherwise.

I may be an adult, but they still like to baby me. Mom in particular. I didn't realize how much I missed it until we came home.

"Come on, Swan. Just the trash to go and then you're home free," I tell myself, wrestling the bag from the can and heading out into the alley behind the store. On my way out, I murmur a quiet prayer that I'll be alone out there. I really don't fancy company.

It seems that nobody's listening at this time of night though, because no sooner has the door to the store slammed shut behind me does another door fly open along the alley and a broad, obviously agitated silhouette step out into the dark. I can't control the squeak that escapes me, but my panicked heart gets a break as my eyes adjust.

A broad, obviously agitated, _familiar_ silhouette.

On second thoughts, maybe some company out here isn't the worst thing...

* * *

**Anybody want to take a guess at who Bella's company might be? ;)**

**Huge hugs and thank yous to **annaharding, Thats-So-Alex, LadyLoonie, Anakinsmom, and LizziePaige **for your help. You ladies rock and I heart you.**


	5. Chapter 5 - Edward

**So it's fair to say most of you are hating Jane, desperate to properly meet EC, and hoping that Bella will kick her job at Vaughn's to the curb  
to go work at Burger Co. I happen to agree with all three points, so here we go. Next update won't be until Thursday.  
After that, I plan to stick to a Sunday and Thursday update schedule so I don't run out of pre-written chapters too fast. Right now, I have fourteen,  
most of which just need editing.**

**Speaking of editing...please excuse any and all errors here. I often tinker a fair bit after my wonderful team look things over.**

**Here's EC (I sort of flove him, and yes I know it's bad form to say that about my own characters)**

* * *

**Chapter Five**

_**Edward**_

"Fuckin' buffoons," I mutter, fishing my light from my pocket and pushing through the fire door. A wall of dry heat slams into me full-force; a sharp squeak as the door slams shut tells me I'm not as alone as I hoped I'd be. Cursing, I fumble with my phone to find the flashlight. We occasionally get homeless people trying to bed down out here at night and I'm really not in the mood for putting my friendly face on tonight. When I finally find the right button and illuminate the alley, I can't believe my eyes.

"Bella? What the hell are you doing out here at...shit, is that the time?"

Her smile is rueful as she shields her eyes, murmuring her thanks when I lower my cell and quit blinding her. "I'm on the late shift, so I have the unenviable task of taking out the trash and locking up the store."

_Well, that's not fuckin' right._ "It's almost one in the morning. You shouldn't be here on your own."

With a petulant huff, she tosses the trash bag in her hand into the bin, then wanders over to lean against the wall a few feet away. In the muted light of the moon, her gray eyes are especially striking. If it weren't for the darkness-dulled magenta of her hair and the swath of red painted over her scowl, it would feel like we were in a black and white movie.

"You sound like Dad," Bella finally admits, picking at her nails as I light up.

My eyes slide closed, a groan escaping because _fuck_, I needed this smoke. It's been too long. I mean, it's been a few hours, but hell—those yahoos inside drive me crazy sometimes. Tonight being one of those times.

"If he said the same as me, he's right."

"Yeah, yeah. I get it. I'm the innocent little girl who needs protecting from the big, bad wolf. I've heard it at least a thousand times since I've been home. You can spare me the lecture."

My brows furrow and I'm shaking my head before I can stop myself. "I didn't say _that_." I may be eleven years her senior and the man whose pool she once admitted to peeing in, but I'm still a man with eyes in my head. The only thing she got right was the 'little' part; she's a short little shit, barely five feet tall if I had to guess. Compared to my six-four, she's basically a dwarf. Everything else, though...

The blouse-shirt thing she's wearing struggles to contain her breasts and her blue jeans hug her wide hips. Don't even get me started on what they do for her ass—_and there I go again. _Objectifying my best friend's not-so-babyish baby girl. Goddammit.

"Can I have one?"

Blinking hard, I refocus—on her face, this time. "You smoke?"

She shrugs, accepting the pack I hesitantly extend toward her. "Sometimes. Not at home, obviously."

_Right_, I nod. Because of her kids. I still can't believe she has sons, _plural._ I mean, I knew about them, of course. Their children and grandchildren are just about all Charlie and Renee talk about, but it's still a mindfuck to hear Bella talk about them. I swear it was only yesterday she was running around in floaties and a princess crown. Now she's a _mom_ to three boys. Like I said—mindfuck.

"So...rough night? You look harassed."

I won't admit that I was hoping for solitude out here. That'd just make things uncomfortable. Instead, I stare at the stars as I exhale, smoke curling up into the sky. "_Busy_ night," I correct, chancing a glance at her between inhales. "We had a server call in sick and my chef's wife went into labor."

Bella's eyes light up. "Tanya's having the baby? That's great!"

"You know Tan?" I frown, rubbing my beard. It's in need of a trim, to be honest.

"Sure. She goes to Mom's crochet club. I met her last week when it was Mom's turn to host. Tanya said she was 'ready to not be pregnant,' so I bet she's pleased it's almost over."

I've heard that, too. My head chef, Garrett—who is also Tanya's husband—has been careful not to talk about the upcoming baby all that much, but I overhear conversations when the guys think I'm not listening. Tanya has been struggling for weeks now, so I'd wager that Bella is right and Tanya's ready to have that baby. Wistfulness spreads through my veins, but I cut that shit off at the source before it can take hold. I've been a melancholy fucker the last few days. It's annoying even _me _at this point. There's no point letting myself fall any further down that hole.

"How's things, anyway? I haven't seen you at brunch."

Eyeing her, I _almost _smile. She's just as chatty as she was as a kid. There are no prolonged silences with her. She never used to shut up; it's oddly nice to see that some things don't change. "My brother, Jasper, was in town last week with his wife and my nephew. He doesn't get a lot of downtime from work, so we took a trip into the city for the weekend. The Saturday before that, I was here working on the new menu."

"Ooh, a new menu, huh? I might have to come try out some stuff. What would you recommend?"

Thinking on it, I figure she'd enjoy the new veggie option. "The Kale Mary's pretty good."

I don't expect the sudden laughter she expels, but it makes me grin all the same. "_Kale _Mary? Like 'hail mary?'" Bella snorts, her eyes crinkled with her smile. "Okay, what else?"

"The Tennessee is a firm favorite with the guests—"

"What about with you? What's _your _favorite, Edward?"

The soft yet firm way she interrupts and says my name makes me pause. No one really calls me 'Edward' these days. Most people just call me 'EC.' My own mother rarely calls me by my given name. Well, she rarely calls me, period. Then there's the fact that it was Bella herself who gave me the nickname 'EC,' yet she seems to be the one person who consistently calls me anything but.

It's...I don't know, strangely pleasant hearing my name from her lips in her British-American accent. The handful of years she spent in England has given her some sort of hybrid way of dancing between the two.

Rubbing my beard, I drop my smoke in the can left out here for exactly that purpose. "The Flamethrower," I finally tell her.

Bella giggles, shaking her head like she expected exactly that answer. "Still into your hot food, huh? I swear, I learned to love spice through you. Mom and Dad bitch about tikka masala being too hot."

Now that, I knew. I laugh, sitting down on an upturned, empty beer barrel. "Did they tell you about the night my meal accidentally got switched with your dad's and he ended up eating my phal?"

"Oh, my God...no!" Her amusement has Bella creasing up. "Tell me everything!" She demands through her laughter. "How much did he eat before he realized?"

"Only a little,." I can't stifle my smile at the memory, and her laugh...it's infectious. I've never seen Charlie so red—not before or since. "He commented on how it smelled 'like hell' but tried it anyway. As soon as my food was in front of me, I told the waiter it was wrong. That's when we realized what had happened."

Wiping tears from her eyes, Bella sags against the wall and catches her breath. It's almost pitch-black, stiflingly hot even at this time of night, and she's clearly exhausted, but I can't help but notice how pretty she is in the glow of the moonlight sneaking into the alley. It smells like trash and it's not the nicest of places to hang out for a chat, but if I ignore all that, it's sort of easy to get lost in Bella's insanely piercing eyes and contagious cheerfulness.

"Right," she sighs, stubbing out her smoke. "I better head home. It takes me half-hour on a good day and Arlo is on a no-nap streak so I can't count on getting my head down later to save me." Twisting her hair back into some kind of messy knot, she offers me a tired smile. It's only then that I notice the smudges under her glassy eyes. She looks drained. "Thanks for the company."

_This isn't right. _I mean, shit. She's a tiny slip of a girl—no, woman—and only wackos are out at this time of night. I battle with myself for a beat, clearing my throat as she opens the door to the back of the store.

"I'll give you a ride." Her eyes widen just enough for me to realize my fuck-up. "_Home! _I'll give you a ride _home._" Raking a hand through my hair, which feels pretty gross even to me after a night slaving away in the hot kitchen, I grimace. "I should head home anyway. Jones and Kelly can finish the clear-down without me supervising."

She's always been an open book. Bella's thoughts play out across her face; I see the moment she accepts this as the most sensible option. The safest, too. I'll bet Charlie has no idea she was planning to walk home at this time of night. I'm doing him, and Bella, a favor. It's got nothing to do with the fact that I felt an indescribable pang at the thought of her leaving. It's purely because I don't want her to walk home alone, that's all. That's all it is.

"Are you sure? I don't want to put you out. I was borrowing Dad's car but now Rosalie's is in the shop, she needs it to get around more than I do."

_I don't agree, but it's not my place to get involved._

"I'm sure. I just need to grab a few things from my office and make sure the other two are all right."

"That's okay, I'll lock up the store and come meet you out front."

I wait for her to head back into the shop and the bolt to click behind her before heading inside. Music is still blaring from the kitchen speakers when I get there. Jones has a saucepan in his hands as he pretends to play the guitar, and Kelly's using a hand whisk as a microphone.

"_For fuck's sake…_"

"EC! Come be frontman," Kelly demands, lowering her 'mic.'

"Uh, I'll pass, thanks." Pointedly glancing at the few dishes still on the drying rack and then at the dry mop and empty bucket across the room, I cross my arms over my chest. "Am I payin' you to do your jobs or act like dicks?"

"Act like dicks," Jones and Kelly chime without missing a beat.

_Fuckin' children I'm employing._

"You know what? I don't care. I'm not on openin' tomorrow."

Jones' smile fades pretty fuckin' quick, 'cause…

"Shit. I'm opening up, aren't I? Dammit."

As Kelly rinses him for being a dumbass, I head back out of the kitchen and cross the hall to my office. There are a few files I want to take home to look over tomorrow and I need to have a look at the rota now Garrett's gonna be off for a couple of weeks with Tanya and the baby, so I grab those and decide I might as well send my lazy, good for nothin' staff home for the night. It's just past one now, and Jones can sort the last few things out when he comes to start the prep in the morning. A silhouette in the doorway scares the shit out of me before I can make it into the kitchen.

"_Motherfucker!_" I spit, realizing a second later that I recognize the pinky purple hair catching the miniscule amount of light spilling through the room from the streetlights outside.

"Sorry! The door was unlocked…" Bella murmurs softly, stepping closer so her guilty smile is illuminated by the light escaping from the kitchen into the hall. "Judging by your face, I'm guessing the door wasn't _meant _to be unlocked," she continues with a giggle.

"No," I grumble, raising my voice enough that I know Jones and Kelly will hear, "the fuckin' door _wasn't_ meant to be left unlocked!"

They fall silent for a beat before Kelly busts a gut laughing and Jones joins us out in the hall. "Sorry, EC. Oh, hey, Bella. How ya doin'?"

"I'm good, thanks. How's the new place treating you?"

Not for the first time, I'm jealous of how Bella seems to find it easy slotting into any social situation. More so in the last few years, I find it hard to be around people. Bella...she shines. Even tired, as she obviously is, her face radiates her enthusiasm and focus as she listens to Jones ranting about the water heater at his new place—which broke the first week he moved in—and the awesome paint job he did on the bedroom—which _he_ didn't actually do. That would be yours truly.

"Yeah, yeah. You're a regular David Bailey with a paint brush," I mumble, rubbing the back of my neck as Bella focuses those steel gray peepers on me and smiles so big and wide she flashes her teeth.

_She_ obviously gets the joke. Jones, however, does not.

Frowning, he cocks his head like a ridiculously confused puppy. "Who's David Bailey?"

"Never you mind, young padawan," Bella coos, patting his cheek.

"All right," I huff. "Let's get goin'."

Looking between us with an increasingly salacious, taunting grin, Jones waggles his eyebrows. "Oh, I see how it is…"

If the dark look in my eyes warning him not to push it doesn't do the trick, he obviously realizes it's not a great idea to go there with me, especially not after a manic night like tonight, because he quickly schools his expression and wishes us a good night.

Peering down at Bella, I can't help but be in awe. She looks shattered, but she's still smiling as Jones pulls her in for a one-armed hug. "See ya, Jones." Leaning into the kitchen, she calls out a 'hi, bye' to Kelly before facing me. "Okay, I'm good to go whenever you are."

Nodding, I raise an eyebrow at Jones. He chuckles and turns to rejoin Kelly. "I get it, I get it. I'll make sure everythin's done before we open, EC. Don't get your Calvins in a wad."

"Fuckin' jokester. No tips for you this week."

My furrowed brows pull tighter as he snorts, not even bothering to look at me.

"Night, boss. Sweet dreams!"

"I get no damn respect around here."

"Maybe that's because you're a soft touch, _boss_," Bella teases as we head for the door. I lock up behind us, knowing Jones is staying with Kelly in the apartment above the restaurant tonight. They think they're so stealthy. If they really didn't want me to figure things out, Jones shouldn't waltz in for his shift with an overnight bag, and they _really_ shouldn't fool themselves into thinking the sound of the grill drowns out their pretty fuckin' loud whispers about how they 'can't wait for later.' Fools.

"I'm no fuckin' soft touch, I'll have you know!" And that would have sounded manlier if I hadn't whined it like a toddler. Fuck. "I'm a hardass boss, all mean and shit."

Bella snorts, following the beep and flashing lights of my Jeep when I hit the button on my fob to unlock it. It's still hot as Hades out here despite the time, so before I even think about moving I have the A/C running. Bella's sigh of relief as she leans forward to within a couple inches of the vents makes me grin.

"I'm a bit out of practice with this heat," she admits, shooting me a sheepish smile. "I was in England for nine summers and it was never this hot, I swear."

"Maybe coming back in the height of summer wasn't easing yourself in all that gently."

Laughing softly, she sits back in her seat and buckles up. "You're right, I didn't think that through, did I?" With a quiet sigh, she explains, "Once I made the decision to come back, I just couldn't wait."

She's been back in Florida for nearly three weeks now, but this is the first time I've really had the opportunity to ask her about her decision to return. I mean, by all accounts, she's had a great time in England. School, friends, _boyfriends_—or one in particular, much to Charlie's frustration.

Charlie and Renee are under the misguided assumption that I can't take care of myself and require feeding regularly, just like a pet they might look in on when their neighbors go on vacation or something. Before Bella came home, they'd often pass the time I spent with them lamenting the distance between them and their daughter—and later, their grandsons—which is how I have a rough idea of how the last nine years have gone down.

I mean, I won't lie, I didn't _always _listen as much as I should. There's only so many times I can hear 'I wish she were closer' and 'why did she have to move so far away?' before I can't help but tune out.

But I _do _know the boys' surname happens to be 'Swan' and there aren't any parents I know who'd stick around in one place if their kids were moving to another continent. There's a story there.

That said, I've never been one to pry. God knows I hate it when other people try to delve into my head.

The streets are, as I suspected, mostly deserted. As I drive in the direction of Charlie and Renee's house, my eyes flick over to Bella. She's staring out of the window, her head against the headrest and the curve of her smile just visible.

_I wonder what's making her smile like that._

"So it wasn't the weather that called you home," I start, immediately cringing. I've never been one for idle chit-chat. Silence is my unwanted but familiar friend these days. Making conversation for the sake of it is definitely not my thing.

"Was it the sandy beaches? The nightlife?"

"I'm a single mom to three little boys...clubbing isn't exactly high on my list of priorities," she points out wryly, rolling her head to face me. I feel the gentle puff of air on the side of my face and neck as she sighs. "There were some nice beaches near where we lived, but we went to a place called Camber Sands a few times. It was a bit further away, but the beaches were _gorgeous_."

Pulling up at a stoplight, I turn away from the drunken girls staggering across the crosswalk in time to see Bella's nostalgic smile. "Finn loved the dunes. I've got videos of him climbing up just to roll back down. I'll show you sometime."

My stomach twists, a pang of something indescribable hitting me square in the chest. Reaching up to rub the ache, I refocus on the road. The light turns green, but it's not the road ahead I'm seeing.

_Sandy dunes, sunkissed smiles, and seagulls shrieking overhead. Sticky-fingered tickle fights and melodic giggles as we skid and slide through the sand..._

The rock in the pit of my stomach doesn't shift even as we continue our journey. I can feel Bella's eyes on me but I refuse to meet them until we roll to a stop outside her parents' house. She wears an ever-so-slight frown, her eyes tired but alight with curiosity.

_Always so curious, this one._

"I guess I'll see you Saturday," I finally say when she makes no move to get out of the car.

"Saturday?"

My lips kick up on one side. "At brunch?"

"Right, brunch." She blows out a long breath. "Thank you for the ride, I really appreciate it."

"It's no problem." Drumming my fingers on the wheel, I know I'm coming off like a rude, impatient motherfucker, but I can't help it. I'm itching for the silence of solitude. It's like ants are crawling under my skin.

After an awkward pause, she reaches for the handle and climbs out of the car. "So, bye, then."

Before she can close the door, I call her name, biting my tongue immediately after. "Don't walk home alone. Which days do you have late shifts?"

She looks confused—either at my words, my gruff tone, or both—but murmurs, "Wednesdays and Thursdays".

_I work both of those days, generally._

"Come to the restaurant when you're done. I'll bring you home."

"Edward, you don't need to—"

"Please, don't argue. Just…" huffing, I roll my head side to side, waiting for the click. _There we go_. "I don't want to even imagine your dad's reaction if he finds out I know you're planning on walking home alone at stupid o'clock and didn't do anything about it." Cocking an eyebrow, I ask a question I already know the answer to. "He thinks you're getting a cab, right?"

The slight flush of pink on her cheeks says everything. "It's possible. Rosalie has to travel around more than I do. I can walk from home to here easy enough when I don't finish so late, but the hotel is further away. I really appreciate the ride home, but I can't expect you to drive me around every time I have a late shift."

Pressing my foot down just a shade, the engine revs loud enough she won't push it; her parents, sisters, and sons are asleep in the house, after all.

"I'll see you tomorrow. Come next door when you're done at the store. I'll be expecting you." To lighten the moment, I try out a small smile. "You can be our taste tester for the new menu if you get done in time."

"Well, why didn't you say so? I'll see you just after eleven."

With a light tap of her hand on the roof, she quietly closes the door and turns to trot up the path to her parents' door. The porch with its mums in hand-painted pots and a brightly coloured plaque announcing that the Swans live here is a stark contrast to the way some of the other homes alongside it scream wealth.

As she opens the front door and steps inside, Bella casts a quick look over her shoulder. I see the shadowed curve of her smile and manage one of my own when she offers a quick wave before ducking into the house.

Alone with my thoughts, _at last_, I head home. It's only a short drive. Ten minutes, tops. But it's enough time to feel the familiar ache of dread settling into my bones. By the time I pull up outside, I've forgotten all about Bella's confused eyes as I insisted on driving her home after every late shift, the way her perfume lingers in my car, and how I didn't actually want to leave her.

The motion sensor switches on the light which illuminates the way to the porch steps, but I know the stone path like the back of my hand. I trudge up the wooden steps and fumble for my keys, keeping my eyes downcast and away from the plaque beside the door. Once I'm inside, I can breathe, but each inhale weighs heavily on my chest.

The lavender air freshener on the console table ran out years ago, but the phantom scent infiltrates my nostrils anyway; much like the imaginary sounds of laughter in the kitchen at the end of the foyer and infuriatingly cheerful children's music from the living room to my right.

It's all fake. All in my head.

My feet follow the sounds regardless.

Flipping the light on in the kitchen, it takes me a moment to focus. A moment for the dancing silhouette to disappear and the dishes I let stack up take her place. For the booster seat at the island to empty and the chime of "honey, you're home!" to leave my ears.

Loneliness lands like a lead balloon in my chest, but this is my life now.

Silent. Lonely. Empty.

* * *

**So I have two recs for you this week because I am LOVING both and the writers are beyond wonderful ladies who deserve the shout-out and more.**

**The first is **Sunshine1220's **Dominion Of My Heart. It's a historical/medieval style fic and oh-my-damn, it has my heart. I love everything Cheryl writes but this might be my favorite of all her works of art. Summary: **Commanded by his King to seize her kingdom, he chooses to set his eyes on a different prize ... dominion of her heart. What he offers her instead is a chance to choose her own fate. Kings and their kingdoms will fall. Blood will be spilled. When it seems all is lost, can they hold on to everything they've gained?

**The second is by a new-to-me writer, **Hotteaforme**, and it's called White Noise. Kate's graphics for each chapter caught my attention and I binge-read the first few chapters. I kind of wish I'd waited though because holy moly, is it a humdinger. Go check this one out but hold onto your big-girl panties. Summary: **Waitress Bella wants nothing to do with her boyfriend's shady drug dealings. When he forces her to do him a favor, she finds herself on the wrong side of the wrong sort of people… all except one. M for a reason. 00s vibes.

**I'll link both stories in my update posts on Facebook. Come find me-Ciara Shayee Hill-and join my group, Ciara Shayee's Subconscious.**

**Huge hugs and thank yous to **annaharding, Thats-So-Alex, LadyLoonie, Anakinsmom, and LizziePaige **for your help. You ladies rock and I heart you. **


	6. Chapter 6 - Edward

**I'm still loving reading all your theories on what's happened to EC, and your thoughts on what Bella should do. Please keep them coming!**

* * *

**Chapter Six**

_**Edward**_

Just like every other morning, I'm out of bed, dressed, and showered before the sun is completely above the horizon.

As I dunk a Twix in my coffee on the back porch, my eyes leap the fence at the foot of the yard to trail over the rolling waves, following them right up to the shore where they end with foamy spray. The sound of the ocean calms me. It always has. When I can't procrastinate anymore—when my mug and candy wrapper are empty—I sigh, heading inside with a _clack_ of the screen door. The pastel pink gift bag on the counter immediately catches my eye.

_It's a Girl!_

I remember a time when the island was covered in pink _everything_, from glittery bags to wrapped gifts to cards. It was like a candy floss factory threw up over my kitchen. Women squealing, pink balloons, more baby paraphernalia than I'd ever know what to do with…

Rubbing my chest, I rifle through the bag until I find the card my sister-in-law helped me choose when she and Jasper visited with my nephew, Matthew, last week. Alice said she didn't trust my judgement. To be fair, I don't blame her. The frilly, flowery pink card she handed me was nothing like what I would have picked.

The blank interior of the card makes me pause.

_What do I write?_

Faint memories of reading cards exactly like this one give me things like _congratulations on your healthy baby girl._

But they don't always _stay _healthy.

My mind remains void of inspiration, so I set down the pen and go find the gifts I bought instead. Once the crate of beer I got for Garrett and the hamper of girly shit for Tanya is in the trunk, I can't avoid the other task any longer. I finally settle for writing _congratulations _and signing my name at the bottom.

Just as I toss the pen back in the cup across the room, my cell pings.

_**Hey, man. We're all good here. Come over whenever you're ready.**_

Shooting a text back to Garrett to tell him I'll be there in an hour, it takes all my energy to suck in a deep breath, tuck the card into the gift bag, and carry it out to the car to join the stuff for the new baby's parents. I've got to stop off at the restaurant before I do anything else, so that's where I head first.

I'm not stalling.

**~ oOo ~**

It's a little over an hour later when I walk through the doors of the maternity ward and give my name, then Tanya's, to the nurse manning the desk. She beams and leads me down the hall to a door with 'Cross' written on the attached whiteboard.

"Thanks," I murmur, watching her walk away before loosening my shoulders and forcing myself to walk into the damn room already.

As soon as I step inside, a smile curls my lips. However hard this is for me, I _am_ happy for my friends, so seeing them so blissed out—tired, but blissfully happy—puts a grin on my face.

"You made it." Garrett leaves Tanya and their new bundle on the bed to clap a hand on my shoulder. I can see his surprise that I actually came; he clearly didn't expect me to.

It stings.

"Of course. Miss a chance to tell you how fucked you are? No chance."

Snorting, Tanya waves me over. "Whatever, EC. Come meet your newest goddaughter."

Wide-eyed, I look between my friends. "My, _what_?"

"You heard her, man." Garrett squeezes my shoulder before steering me toward Tanya. "We planned to ask before she arrived, but little Miss Ivy here beat us to it."

_Ivy._

Wistfulness rushes through me. I've always liked nature-themed names.

_Ivy, Savanna, Oakley, River…_

_Willow_.

Before I can back away, Tanya is passing the pink-wrapped bundle in her arms to me. I cradle her instinctively, my eyes burning as I peer down at her—_my goddaughter_—for the first time. She's all scrunched up and I don't care what anyone says, babies don't much look like anyone at first, but when Ivy slowly opens up her eyes and looks back at me, she's Tanya made over.

"She's beautiful, Tan. Well done."

Tanya's wide smile says it all, really. "Thanks, boss. So, what do you say? If Gare and I end up killing each other one day, do you reckon you'd be up for watching this one as well as her crazy sisters? There's no-one we trust more than you with their safety."

My chest aches as I nod and reflexively hold the baby a tiny bit tighter, a thousand and one worst-case scenarios rushing through my mind. Handing her back to her mom, I clear my throat. "Don't go killin' each other, all right? I need you back at the restaurant eventually."

Silence blankets the room for a few moments. I'm about to excuse myself, my lungs squashed by the sudden, tense atmosphere, which is my fault, admittedly, when there's a light tap at the door before it swings open. I'm surprised to see the face that pops in.

_Bella?_

"I hope this is okay? Mom's having a bit of a work crisis but she asked me to bring these over…"

"Come in, come in," Tanya urges, gingerly sitting up straighter while holding baby Ivy in one arm. "I'll trade my newborn for that box if it's full of Renee's chocolate chip cookies."

"Hey! Quit trading my baby, woman," Garrett protests half-heartedly, eyeing the box in Bella's hands just as hopefully as his wife.

Laughing lightly, Bella sets the box down on the table and releases the sparkly pink balloons in her hand so they hover by the ceiling. "She packed a mixture." Ticking the flavors off on her fingers, she makes Tanya and Garrett's day—well, even more than Ivy's arrival already has. "Peanut butter, chocolate chip, and pecan...I _think_. Don't take my word for it. Jax told me he 'helped,' so they could have Lego mixed in there for all I know."

"I'll take 'em anyway," Tanya says cheerfully. "Do you want a cuddle while you're here, or are you in a rush?"

Checking her watch, Bella beams at Tanya and skirts around me with a murmured 'hi' to get to the baby. "I'll make time. Oh, you guys...she's gorgeous."

While the women gush over the baby, I motion to Garrett. "I've got some stuff for you...it's in the car."

Shooting a quick glance at Tanya, Bella, and Ivy, Garrett chuckles. "I reckon we can escape for a bit without being missed. Will you be all right for a few, Tan?"

Waving us off without even looking our way, Tanya continues telling Bella all about Ivy's birth—and _that's_ a conversation I definitely don't need to hear. Anything more than 'we're all healthy and happy' is too much, in my opinion.

"You up for a coffee? I'm totally wiped."

"Sure, if you're sure Tan won't mind."

Garrett promises that she won't, so we're soon settled at a table with our steaming mugs in front of us. Sighing, he shoots me a grateful smile. "Thanks for coming, man. I know it's not your favorite place."

_Understatement_.

"You don't have to thank me," I tell him seriously, twisting my cup between my hands on the table. "I don't love it here, true, but you and Tan—and the girls—you're family."

Thankfully reading into my 'I couldn't hate this topic more' tone, Garrett simply nods and changes the subject. "Did you find someone to cover Tan while she's off yet?"

_Oh good. Another topic I'd rather not think about._

"No," I mutter. "At this rate, I'm gonna have to give Jones a raise and tell him to pick up the extra shifts. He's been buggin' me about more responsibility, so...I don't know." Smirking faintly, I admit his woman isn't so easy to replace.

"I'll tell her you said that. It'll cheer her up."

"Cheer her up?"

"Yeah. The doc says she's gotta stay in overnight tonight. They just want to keep an eye on her blood pressure or somethin'. Anyway, she's not happy. She keeps going on about the girls, but they'll be fine. She just wants to get home and get Ivy settled in, you know?"

Nodding, I ask, "Anythin' I can do?"

"Nah, I think we're set. Thanks, though. Jessie, Callie, and Irina should be fine with Tan's parents for another night."

"Well, let me know."

After a sleepless, busy night, Garrett's more than happy to catch a few z's while I respond to a couple of emails. Promising to wake him up in five, I reply to a couple of possible new suppliers for the restaurant before realizing I can feel somebody staring at me. Glancing up, I spy a nurse waiting in line at the coffee station.

My stomach falls to my feet. It takes a moment, then recognition lights her eyes, too.

.

.

"_What's goin' on?"_

_The sudden blaring of alarms drowns out the silly music coming from my cell as I stand so quickly it falls and cracks on the hard floor. The door flies open, medical personnel rushing in. I get shoved out of the way and eventually pulled toward the door as my whole world crashes down around me._

_That noise...that beeping. Someone stop the beeping, dammit. I can't _think_._

_Grabbing the nearest nurse, the one who's good with the hair bows and stuff, I shout, "What the hell is goin' on? What's wrong?"_

_'Kristen,' her name tag reads. I'll never forget that name or her determined but worried expression._

"_Mr. Cullen, please wait right here and I'll see what's going on, okay? She's in good hands."_

_Good hands…_

_Collapsing in a chair right outside the room that's become my home the last couple of weeks, I ignore the pain tearing up my leg and pray to the God I'm not sure I believe in._

_Five minutes later, Kristen steps back out into the corridor with red-rimmed eyes and a look that slays me._

"_No…"_

_._

_._

"Mr. Cullen?"

It takes a few seconds for me to realize I'm being addressed _now_, not in my memories.

_Kristen._ Same name tag. Same sympathetic expression.

"I'm sorry, but I…" Shaking her head, Kristen fiddles with something in her pocket. "I, uh, I just wanted to say 'hello.' I've never forgotten you, or—"

_I can't._

As she speaks, I spot Bella waving over Kristen's shoulder and heading our way. "I think...I think you've mistaken me for somebody else," I choke out.

Her eyes narrow a little just as Bella joins us, laughing. "So you _are_ here. Tan bet me five dollars that you'd be hiding out. Oh, sorry, did I interrupt?"

"No, no." Kristen offers me a soft smile, her eyes the same kind brown gaze I remember. "I'm sorry to have bothered you, Sir. Take care."

Once Kristen is out of ear-shot, Bella beams up at me. "Well, she was nice!"

"Yeah, I guess she was," I murmur, shaking off the sudden bout of nostalgic melancholy as the nurse disappears around the corner with one last glance back at me.

"I've got to run. Arlo's at a playdate with a new friend and I'm fairly sure he's got too much crazy in him for the parents to handle." Leaning in conspiratorially, she whispers, "They're _normal_."

The sparkle in her eyes and the unabashed grin on her face is infectious. It helps me push away the memories trying to force their way to the front of my mind.

"Sheesh.. Yeah, any kid of yours is definitely gonna be too much for normal people to handle."

Once we've woken Garrett from his snooze, the three of us head outside to the parking lot where Bella congratulates him again before veering off toward her mom's car. After we've moved the gifts for Tanya, Garrett, and Ivy into his new minivan, I head off, too. Garrett attempts to persuade me to come back up and hang out for a bit, but I've had enough socialization for one day. I don't want to push my luck while my decent mood is holding up.

Garrett and Tanya are my friends, so of course I'm happy for them. But the thought of spending much more time with their beaming smiles and beautiful baby makes my stomach knot and my chest ache.

**~ oOo ~**

True to my word, I play last-minute cab driver later that evening, carting Garrett and Tanya's three older girls between their grandparents' house and their home across town. I get the plea for help just as I'm about to knock Jones's head off for forgetting to order potatoes.

"What?" I stalk down the hall into my office before I kill my stand-in head chef.

"_Whoa, man,"_ Garrett laughs. "_What's goin' on?"_

_Shit_. "Sorry, shit night at the restaurant. Everythin' okay with Tan and the baby?"

"_We're all good, no worries there. Does your offer still stand? To help out with the girls?"_

"Of course. What do you need?"

"_Tan's mom has an early appointment tomorrow, so she can't keep the girls tonight." _Before I can panic that he wants me to have them overnight, he adds, "_Could you take them back to my place and just hang there until I can get home? We're just waiting on the doc, but I'll be an hour. Two, tops."_

Watching the girls is well within my realm of capabilities, so I agree and tell him to text me the in-laws' address before heading back to the kitchen.

"Jones, get your ass next door and pray they've got potatoes."

"Sir, yes, Sir!" The little punk salutes as he strips off his apron and takes off after making sure Kelly's good by herself for a few.

Huffing, I eye her. "You sure you're okay? I've got to run out and grab Garrett's girls, but I can always bring them here if you need me. They can hang out in my office or somethin'."

"Nah, boss, I'm fine. Get out of here," she tells me with a smirk, expertly flipping the patties on the grill while checking on the last batch of fries we have until Jones gets back—hopefully with enough potatoes to keep us going through the rest of the night.

"All right. I've got my cell."

The drive over to Tanya's parents' doesn't take all that long, but Jessica, Callie, and Irina—twelve, ten, and eight, respectively—are packed and raring to go when I knock on the door.

"Uncle EC! How come you're here?" Irina asks as she rips the door open with her mom's sunny smile.

"I'm here to rescue you, nugget," I tell her quietly, plastering a big smile on my face for Tanya's mom. "Hi there. Edward Cullen, Garrett and Tan's—"

"I know who you are, hon," she tells me with a laugh, sticking her hand out for me to shake. "I'm Margaret, Tanya's mother. Now, are you sure this is all right? I told Garrett I could keep them tonight, I'd just need him to collect them early tomorrow."

"It's no bother, honestly." Jessica and Callie join their sister by the door, so I check they're all ready before thanking Margaret, accepting the car seat she hands me, and corralling the girls toward the car.

"Cool! You brought the Jeep," Callie cheers.

"Shotgun!"

"Aw, man," Irina shoots Jessica—who called shotgun—a sour look. "Uncle EC—"

"You know the rules, nugget," I remind her, ruffling her hair. "She who calls it, gets it. And besides, you're still too little to sit up front. Give it a couple years and you'll be tall enough, like Jessie. Now, come on, let's get goin'. Have you all eaten?"

"Yeah," they groan; my lips curl up into a grin as we pile into the car once I've fitted Irina's seat. Thankfully, it's nice and simple. "Grandma made us have tofu. She said it's good for us, but it tastes like dirt." Irina raises her eyebrows at me, as if challenging me to disagree.

"Well, it _is _good for you…" I admit, turning us toward their house. "It's not all that flavorful, though."

"See!" Callie throws her arms in the air. "That's what _we _said!"

Laughing at their indignation, I promise them a pizza in return for good behavior. It's no surprise that they all agree before I even finish speaking.

**~ oOo ~**

By the time Garrett's headlights illuminate the living room, all three girls are fast asleep sprawled out on the couches. I grin ruefully when he steps inside and shakes his head. "What? I couldn't move. I'd wake up my little nugget."

It's a big, fat lie and he knows it.

Irina fell asleep first. She's got her legs thrown over my lap and her head pillowed on the arm of the couch. Jessica and Callie are sharing the other sofa across the room.

"Yeah, yeah," he whispers. "You're just a soft touch, EC, and you know it."

"Yeah, I guess." Shifting carefully, I manage to scoop Irina into my arms and stand up without waking her. My stomach flips at the feeling of her warm weight against my chest. I ignore it, shoving the sensation to the back of my mind. "I'll take her up."

"Sure." Garrett crouches beside his two eldest, presumably to coax them upstairs to their rooms, too.

Once they're all tucked in, he and I meet in the kitchen. "I'm not even gonna bitch about the pizza. Don't tell Tan, though. She's all about healthy, organic food at the moment. All we have in this house is rabbit food and I'm fucking starving."

With a grin, I pull the fridge door open and slide out the pizza box I hid from the girls. "Good job I got you your own then, huh?"

His tired face lights up. "You're the best, man, seriously."

"I know." Rubbing my beard, I tip my head side to side until my neck cracks. "I'm gonna get goin'."

Eyeing me for a second, Garrett finally nods.

I wonder if he sees how much energy this has cost me. I wonder if he knows how hard it is for me to be around the girls even though I love them like…

_Like my own._

"All right." He puts down his pizza to follow me out to the front door.

Grabbing my keys and cell from the console table, I turn to my friend with a tired grin. "Oh, and I forgot to tell you. I had to promise the girls you'd bring them over to Burger Co. for lunch this week in exchange for them going to sleep."

Shaking his head with pursed lips, Garrett crosses his arms. "Fair enough. I'd probably have done the same. Thanks again, man. We really appreciate it."

"No need to thank me. I'll see you soon."

"See ya."

Instead of heading home, I drive back across town to Burger Co. I made a promise to get Bella home safely, and I intend to keep it.

Jones and Kelly assure me that they managed to power through the fry crisis earlier in the evening—next door had plenty of potatoes, apparently, although Jones didn't enjoy having to prep them mid-service.

My front of house crew tell me everything went smoothly after I left, so all is well with the business for another night. After handing out tips and walking them out,, I wish them all a good night, leave the door unlocked for Bella, and keep myself busy in my office until I hear a soft "Knock, knock."

Pulling my attention away from the invoices spread across my desk, I grin. "Hey."

Bella blinks a few times, her eyes wide as she hovers in the doorway and stares at me like I'm a ghost or somethin'.

"Are you okay?" I ask with a frown, removing my glasses. It's weird—I can't look at paperwork or my computer for long without them, but I also feel like they get in the way.

"Uh, y-yeah. I'm fine. Fine." Smiling brightly, she steps further into my office, peering around. I take a look around, too, wondering what she thinks. It's neat and tidy. Simple. I keep it clean and organized. "If you're busy, I can just walk home—"

"I'm not busy, don't worry." The invoices are quickly placed back into their folder and stored on the rack behind my desk, and my glasses go back in their case in the drawer; I have a pair at home and one for here. "I was just killing some time while waiting for you. Are you ready to go?"

"Yep."

_All right, then._

Quite often, I linger here long after everyone else has gone home. I stick one of my playlists on through the main speakers, park myself at the bar, and help myself to drinks while I work. When I leave, I always feel...bereft, I guess. I walk through the restaurant, flipping off switches, checking doors and windows, and locking up knowing I'm getting in an empty car to head back to an empty house.

It's kind of nice having Bella here with me as I make sure everything is as it should be. It's even nicer to know I'll have her company for a little longer while I drive her home.

Mercifully, it's a shade cooler tonight, so I don't need to crank the air up like I did last night. With the windows down and the roads blissfully deserted, a little speed does the trick. The breeze flowing through the car is more than enough to take away the worst of the heat.

Bella sits back against the seat with a heavy sigh. "I miss England."

Frowning, I shoot a glance at her. "I wouldn't say that in front of your parents. They'll probably lock you up to stop you goin' anywhere."

"Oh, I don't miss it enough to go back!"

For some reason, the ever-present ache in my chest loosens its grip on me just a little with her admission.

"It's just...I had a great job, doing something I actually enjoyed. And I didn't have to work until a ridiculous time of night _or _deal with Aro Vaughn, either."

I can sympathize with part of her dilemma, at least. I'm lucky enough to love my job, late hours and all, but Aro Vaughn—and his vapid niece—not so much. He was already next door when I bought the restaurant and he's been a pain in the ass ever since.

"What's he up to now?"

"Oh, the usual. He's just a miserable old bastard."

Snorting, I can't help but nod and agree. "Ain't that the truth." I wonder why she puts up with him, though. She doesn't _have _to work, but I bet Charlie and Renee would have hired her to work at one of their hotels in a beat. She'd at least have flexibility there. Uncharacteristic nosiness finally demands that I ask the question. "Did you ever consider going to work for your parents?"

"Like in high school? No-freaking-way."

_That's right. _I forgot that she used to man the reception desk back when she was still in school. "How come?"

I can feel her eyes on the side of my face as she takes her time to answer; I can't bring myself to glance her way, not wanting to see the questions reflected back at me. It's not like me to be inquisitive and we both know it.

"I guess...pride?" At that, my eyes briefly jump to her face. She's frowning, her gray eyes narrowed as she stares out of the windshield. "I made this big deal about how I was going to England to study and I was going to come back and become this successful writer. Instead, I've come home a single mom to three kids with a useless English degree because nowhere in this town, or anywhere even close, is hiring."

Truthfully, that doesn't surprise me—Jackson Bay isn't exactly a hub of activity writing-wise. We have the local newspaper, but the same people have been working on that since I got here, and honestly, that's about it for the writing field. Short of going into teaching, there's not a whole lot else she can do unless she's willing to travel to one of the bigger cities. Jacksonville is probably the closest with the best options, but it's still over an hour away by car.

"Have you thought about teaching? Bay High would gladly have you."

Snorting, Bella turns to peer at me. Her smile crinkles the corners of her eyes. Cute. "God, could you imagine? Me, a teacher at Bay High…now there's a thought, huh?"

"You're good with kids," I point out. "And you could use that fancy English degree you worked so hard for. Plus, you wouldn't have to travel."

"But I'd have to go back to school first and do teacher training. I barely have time for a life already without school on top of work and the boys."

Grimacing, I concede with a dip of my chin. "That's true. Okay, so something to think about for the future, maybe."

"Sure. I mean, eventually all three boys will be at school. I can dump them there and finally have some guilt-free me-time."

My blood runs cold, the thumping of my heart suddenly loud in the confined space.

"_God_, I'm so sorry, Edward. I didn't mean—"

"It's fine." Rolling to a stop outside her parents' house, I force a weak smile. A thoroughly unconvincing one if her guilty expression is anything to go by. "I know what you meant."

The steely sorrow in her eyes cuts me to the core, but I'm used to it now. It's not quite the sympathy I've grown to despise, but close enough. "Edward..."

A car backfiring startles us both. We jump, Bella's laugh strained as I stare out of the windshield at the starry night sky and wonder if she's up there looking down at me.

Movement in the corner of my eye precedes a small, warm hand landing just above my knee. Bella's gaze is gentle as the corners of her lips turn up. "Thank you for the ride home. I really appreciate it."

Grateful for her intuition and the change of subject, I manage a faint smile of my own. "You're welcome. Any time."

Silence descends for a few long moments before she finally breathes a long yawn. Her eyes water as she shakes her head and reaches for the belt to release herself, her gaze soft and yet intense enough that my racing pulse struggles to slow. "Sweet dreams, Edward."

Like yesterday, I watch her walk up the path and let herself inside; also like yesterday, she turns at the last minute to offer me a smile and a little wave. Once she's safely inside, I murmur "sweet dreams" into the air before driving away.

**~ oOo ~**

Despite our familiarity with one another, the silence that welcomes me home isn't completely welcome itself.

Dropping my keys into the bowl in the hall, I wince at the sound of metal against ceramic.

Darkness has fallen; even the light out on the back porch refuses to switch on when I step out, so it looks like I'll be spending tomorrow morning digging through the garage to find the replacement bulbs. _Great_.

I'm halfway up the stairs to bed after giving up on the idea of watching TV when my cell pings. Patting my pockets, I realize it's in my hoodie hanging by the front door. I'm surprised when the screen illuminates with the touch of my thumb and it's Bella's name beside the little red '1 new message.'

_**Forgot to tell you—dinner instead of brunch at Mom and Dad's tomorrow in honor of Mom's birthday. 6pm. We'll be having your favorite dessert so you can't say no xo**_

Snorting, I shake my head and stare up at the ceiling for a moment. Dinner with the Swans. Knowing Renee as well as I do, I'm well aware there's no chance of escaping this, especially as it's her birthday, even though I've got a ton of shit to get done tomorrow. I very much doubt I'll be in the mood for socializing afterward.

_**You had me at 'dessert.' See you tomorrow.**_

After tossing my cell onto my bed, I head into the bathroom. Weirdly, It's one of my favorite rooms in the whole house, but if I look closely enough there are parts that make me feel sick.

The clawfoot tub with room for two screams at me from below the window looking out over the ocean. The _his and hers_ sinks look ridiculous with only one set of toiletries sitting beside the _his_ basin. My aftershave and deodorant have their spot beside the glass containing my toothbrush and toothpaste. My towel has the whole heated rack to itself, and the shelf in the walk-in shower is woefully empty with just my shower gel and shampoo to fill it.

The imaginary scent of strawberry bubblegum shampoo fills the room, impossible-to-forget giggles ringing in my ears.

"_More bubbles, more bubbles!"_

By the time I've showered and taken care of business in the bathroom, thoughts of dinner with the Swans are all-but gone, but Bella's response of a smiley face emoji and another 'xo' makes me huff a laugh.

Dinner tomorrow may not be so bad, after all. The Swans are good people, and I've heard enough about the only ones I haven't met, Bella's kids, to be expecting more of the same. For the first time in a while, I'm actually looking forward to socializing.

* * *

**As usual, big thank yous go to my wonderful dream team who help me with all things UTW—**annaharding, Thats-So-Alex, LadyLoonie, Anakinsmom, and LizziePaige. **You're all fabulous.**


	7. Chapter 7 - Edward

**Without being too spoiler-y...one of you is SO close with your theory on what has made EC the man he is today. So close I actually squealed when I read it.**

**Huge thanks to all of you for your continued love and support. You make this writer's heart happy at a time when I'm struggling a little with more stress than I know what to do with. I love each and every one of you more than Arlo loves fries ;)**

* * *

**Chapter Seven**

_**Edward**_

Punctual as ever, I knock on the door just as my watch beeps to tell me it's six p.m. My eyes find the hand-painted 'Swan' plaque as I listen to the cacophony on the other side of the door.

"_I'll get it, I'll get it!"_

The ensuing thuds are, I assume, footsteps, although they sound more like elephants stampeding down the hall than a child.

"_Arlo Maxwell Swan, get back here! You don't even have—"_

The door flies open and cuts Bella off. I can't help but bark a chuckle when my eyes drop from her frustrated frown to Arlo. It's the first time I've seen him in person, although I have seen photos, but I'd know that he's Bella's kid even if nobody told me.

Back when I first met Charlie and Renee, Bella was seven. She had these long brown curls and a gap-toothed grin I couldn't forget if I tried. Of course, it helps that Renee gets the old photo albums out every time she has a few chardonnays in her. Arlo has those same curls, but shorter and dark blond instead of brown. His hang just past his ears in a wild mess he brushes back from his face to peer up at me. I don't know what Bella's ex looks like, but I can guess he has brown eyes and probably blond hair; Arlo inherited both. I can't help but think it's a shame he missed out on his mom's unusual gray peepers.

Perhaps more noticeable than his similarities to his mom is the fact that he's sans pants, wearing only underwear and a t-shirt with the words 'Chick Magnet'printed across the front along with a magnet and a cartoon chick.

"Hi, Edward."

"Hey, buddy," I laugh, crouching to shake his hand when he holds it up in my direction. The feel of his tiny hand in mine puts a lump in my throat. Swallowing it, I manage a grin. "You must be Arlo?"

"Yep! Momma told me you make awesome burgers with funny names. I like burgers. And fries. Well, fries are my favorite, but I like burgers, too!" Turning back to his mom, Arlo asks, "He can come in, right?"

Snorting, Bella nods. "He can come in. Now, _you_ can come and put some pants on, please."

As Arlo sighs before charging up the stairs using his hands to propel himself, Bella catches my gaze with a rueful smile. "He's been excited to meet you all day. He can be a bit much until he calms down."

"He's great, Bella, don't worry."

She grins, apparently relieved, before waving me in.

Renee is solely responsible for the decor in the home she shares with Charlie and their daughters—and now their grandsons, too—and it shows. Every time I come over there's a new picture on the wall or entire rooms have been moved around.

This time, as we step into the kitchen where Charlie is tapping away at his laptop and Renee is stirring something on the stove, I notice the new frame on the wall directly opposite the door. The shadow box frames a family photo of all the Swans, Charlie and Renee in the center with their kids and grandkids around them.

The picture is crammed full of smiles.

There are also a bunch of purple balloons over the patio doors, a selection of 'Happy Birthday' cards on the windowsills, and there was no missing the big banner out front with 'Happy Birthday, Renee!' emblazoned across it.

"Oh, hey, EC." Charlie notices us, closing his laptop with a sigh before sliding off his barstool and chugging the dregs of his beer.

"That kind of a day, huh?" I ask wryly, accepting the beer Renee hands me with a murmured, "Thanks, and happy birthday, Rae." She grins as I slip the usual envelope from the pocket of my cargo shorts and hand it over. Every year for her birthday, I get Renee and Charlie tickets to whatever theatre show she's most interested in. In return, they give me a free pass to use any of their hotels for my annual vacation at the end of the summer when business dies down for a bit.

Charlie chuckles as Renee squeals and tells him she'll start looking at the theater programs soon, but his laughter dies as he rubs his mustache and admits, "Afraid so, son. Staffing issues." In response to Renee's withering look, Charlie blows her a kiss and catches Arlo when the boy tears into the room. "But no work talk tonight. I made a promise."

"C'mere a sec, kiddo." Bella gently turns Arlo's head, then expertly wrangles his mane into a knot at the top of his head before fastening it with a neon green band from her wrist. "There. Now you look semi presentable."

Flashing her a cheeky smirk, Arlo thanks his mom before turning his attention to me. In his papa's arms, I can definitely see the family resemblance. Their smiles match.

"Did you bring fries?"

Barking a laugh, I shake my head. "I didn't. Sorry, Arlo. Your nana makes better fries than me, though, and I _think_ they might be on the menu tonight."

"Ooh, did you make fries, Nana?"

"I did, sweetheart. Do you want to come help me finish them off?"

"Mom…" Bella warns softly. "He's a klutz. Please, be—"

"I'll be careful, don't worry. Come on, sweet boy," Renee says as she plucks Arlo from her husband's arms. "You can be my sous chef."

"What's a sous chef?"

As they head into the walk-in pantry, where Renee keeps her appliance bar well stocked with every kitchen utensil and appliance available, she explains what a sous chef is to her inquisitive grandson.

Bella shakes her head. "He's a walking accident about to happen, that kid."

I smirk. "So he's definitely _your_ kid, then. No doubt about it if he's got your ability to trip over air."

She sticks her tongue out, but there's no argument. As a kid, she almost always had band-aids on her knees and spent more time than most in the ER because of her clumsiness.

"I'm not clumsy, the floor and furniture and general rest of the world just hated me as a kid. I've mostly grown out of it now, _thank God_."

Rubbing his jaw to hide a smile, Charlie snorts. "You keep telling yourself that, honey."

"What is this? _Pick on Bella Day?_" She sulks, her smile still threatening.

"Absolutely right!" Charlie tells her with a grin as two more sets of loud footsteps tear into the kitchen, flip-flops clacking on the flagstones. Two grass-stained boys run in from the back yard with dirt smeared over their cheeks and curiosity grinding their feet to a halt.

"Who're you?" One of them asks, cocking his head. The other boy—who looks exactly the damn same—tilts his head in the opposite direction. It's uncanny how identical they are. I've always known Bella's eldest two boys are identical, but seeing them up close, there is _nothing_ to differentiate them apart from their clothes.

"This is our friend, Edward Cullen," Bella tells them, crouching between her sons with her arms around their shoulders. Tipping her head toward the twin on the left, the silent one, she says, "This is Finley." Then she gently knocks her head against the other twin. "And this is Jaxson."

"I'm the oldest by seven minutes," Jaxson says seriously while Finley rolls his eyes. I get the feeling this is something Jaxson brings up a lot.

"At least I came out the right way 'round."

This time it's Bella rolling her eyes. "All right, boys. Edward doesn't need your whole birth story."

"It's true, though!" Finley protests.

Eyeing me with what looks like a mixture of amusement and apology, Bella explains, "Jax was breech."

_Ah_, I mouth. "Got it. My nephew was, too. They had to do a C-section."

"Thankfully, they didn't get that far with these hooligans. Jax was in a hurry, right kiddo?"

"Right." Looking around, Jaxson frowns. "Where's Nana?"

"Never you mind, nosy. Go get washed up ready for dinner, please. You, too, Finn."

"Yes, ma'am!" They take off in tandem, leaving their mom wearing a fond but long-suffering smile. I can't help but laugh as their feet thunder up the stairs.

Charlie chuckles from across the island. "Never a dull moment with those boys around, that's for sure," he says, pointing his beer in the direction the boys just went.

"I believe it."

Perhaps naively, right now is the first time I've ever considered how difficult for Bella it must be raising three boys by herself. I don't know how much involvement their father had when they were back in England, but out here, Bella is it. She's all they've got. Charlie and Renee are around, obviously, but as far as parents go, Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo are relying on their mom. From what I've seen already in the ten minutes I've been here, they're all full of character, to boot.

My admiration for Bella only grows throughout the evening. The pleasant weather draws us out onto the patio where Everly, Rosalie, Benjamin, Angela, and Danny eventually join us. Renee and Bella set out enough food to feed an army—or four growing boys and a bunch of adults, as it turns out.

"Just take a little and you can add more to your plate when you're done," Bella warns without even looking away from the glass of water she's pouring me.

"Thanks," I murmur, grinning at the abashed looks on her sons' faces. They each set down the serving spoons they were holding and tuck into the food on their plates with gusto.

Schooling a grimace, I pick out the pickles in my burger and set them on the edge of my plate. A burst of laughter drags my gaze up. Bella smirks and shakes her head. "You're in good company, Finn. Edward doesn't like pickles, either."

Finley's face is all scrunched up as he holds a slice of pickle away from his face like it might bite him. "Jax, take it."

Jaxson happily swipes his brother's unwanted garnish before eyeing me with hope. His face lights up when I offer him my plate so he can take mine, too. "Thanks!"

"They're so _gross_," Finley mumbles with a theatrical shudder that makes everyone laugh. His cheeks flush and he slides down in his chair, apparently uncomfortable with the attention—which is something his younger brother has no issue with whatsoever.

"Look, Momma! I'm a walrus!" Arlo stands up on his chair, stuffing French fries under his lips to imitate walrus tusks.

"Manners at the table, please," Renee warns gently, no heat in her tone at all as she fights a smile. Angela cocks her head at Danny, and the boy quits before he can get fries all the way to his mouth to copy his cousin.

"Sorry, Nana." Arlo crams the fries into his mouth before blowing Renee a kiss and settling in to eat his burger. He's a cute kid. Goofy but sweet.

"So, EC. How're things at Burger Co.? Did you manage to find a replacement for Tanya?" Charlie asks between bites.

I guess my scowl says it all. He cracks up while Renee and Bella simply smile at my misery. Mean women. "No. I'm in denial. She can work fine with the baby on her back. Women used to do it all the time."

Apparently, my indignant tone isn't fooling anybody. The adults all laugh while the boys continue talking about some game.

"I'm sure Tanya would love to hear that," Renee laughs. "But you were saying Liam wanted more responsibility last summer. Why not give it to him this year? He's certainly experienced enough now."

Renee's right, I know that. Jones _was_ asking for more responsibility last summer and I didn't really give it to him, but it had nothing to do with his experience and everything to do with the fact that I don't like handing over control.

Burger Co. is _my _brainchild, _my _company.

My only distraction from the dismal state my life is in.

Handing over some hours and responsibility to Jones means I'd have more free time, which is something Renee is always saying I need more of. However, for her, free time is family time. For me, free time is hours spent drinking to dull the ache in my chest and quiet the phantom sounds of a family in my empty house. It's not fun, relaxing, or enjoyable. At least with Tanya gone for a while, I can bury myself in enough work to keep the memories at bay. Or some, at least.

"I'll cope," I finally murmur, taking a big bite of my suddenly tasteless burger.

"I'm sure you will," Charlie says, wiping mayo from his mustache. "Doesn't mean you shouldn't ask for help, though. You don't need to struggle."

Asking for help isn't something I'm comfortable doing, and he knows it. "We'll manage just fine. She'll be back before I know it, bustin' my balls about not filing things right or ordering the right stuff for the bar."

"I don't know…"

My gaze snaps to Bella as she twirls a fry in the ketchup on her plate before dipping it in the mayo, too.

"She seems super happy spending more time with the girls. I took Jax, Finn, and Arlo over for a playdate yesterday and she's so relaxed at home with them."

Worry coils in my gut for a few seconds before the smile on Bella's face becomes too much for her to hold back. A light laugh bubbles out of her.

"I'm just kidding! She was complaining about how Garrett gets to escape the chaos for hours a day while she's stuck changing diapers and breaking up fights over Barbies. I'd put money on her begging to come back before Ivy is even six months old."

"I believe it," Renee says, shaking her head. "I'll take over some more leftovers tomorrow. She has her hands full without having to worry about cooking."

That's Renee all over. She mothers—she's a true _mommy_. Her kids are all grown and yet she still babies them like they're children. It should be annoying, but it's just her way. Even now, she reaches over to pour Everly a fresh glass of lemonade before refilling her own and adding some more salad to Charlie's plate. She fusses over and babies him perhaps even more than she does their kids.

"Why don't you go work for him, Bella?" My eyes bounce to Bella's shocked face before jumping to Rosalie as she shrugs. "What? You hate your boss at the grocery store. At least this way you'd know you get on with the people you work with. You've known Edward most of your life."

Pointing between the two of us with his fork, Charlie adds, "He's like an uncle to you."

Something about that rubs me the wrong way. I don't like it, but I don't know why. That said, he's partly right. I _have_ known Bella most of her life. When I met her, she was barely older than Jaxson and Finley are now.

Being called her uncle, though…

"Rose, Dad...I don't…" Bella blows out a breath. "You can't just say things like that."

"You should go work at Edward's, Momma!" Jaxson wears a silly grin and has mischief in his eyes. "Then we'd get free burgers."

Everyone laughs as Jaxson and Finley share a fist bump complete with crashing noises.

"That's not how it works, kiddo," Bella tells him.

"Uh, actually, it is." She shoots me a death-glare, so, of course, I continue after shooting a wink at the boys. "I bet we could even throw in some fries every now and then."

_What am I doing? Do I _want_ Bella to come work for me?_

"See?" Finley says, getting up on his knees on his chair to lean toward his mom. "You should do it, Momma."

Raking a hand through her hair, Bella shoots her sister and father withering looks before raising one eyebrow at me. "Are you serious?"

Taking a moment to mull over my options, I've got to admit hiring Bella makes a lot of sense. She's not gonna want a ton of hours because she has the boys to think about, so I don't need to worry about having too much spare time on my hands. She's good with people, knows the menu pretty well, and gets on with my existing staff—including me, and I'm well-aware I can be less than great company. Plus, it helps her escape my dickhead neighbor. It's a win-win situation.

So why am I hesitating?

After a boisterous dinner followed by quite possibly the loudest, craziest rendition of the happy birthday song I've ever heard, the boys beg to be allowed in the pool. Charlie caves, of course—he's a soft touch and the boys know it.

Bella and Angela make them wait forty minutes for their food to go down, then we watch with grins on our faces as the boys run in to change before reappearing minutes later in their swim gear, declaring a cannonball contest shortly afterward.

While Charlie, Benjamin, and I clear away all the leftovers and fill the dishwasher, the ladies supervise the boys and score their jumps out of ten. By the time Benjamin and I follow Charlie outside with beers in our hands, Jaxson, Finley, Arlo, and Danny are in fits of laughter and Bella is soaked from head to toe.

"What happened?" Charlie chuckles, sinking onto a lounger behind his wife. Renee leans back against his chest and I look away as he winds his arms around her waist, pressing a kiss to the side of her head. Benjamin takes a similar spot behind his wife-to-be, leaving me to take the lounger between Everly and Rosalie.

Scowling at her giggling sons, Bella rings out her hair before twisting it into a messy knot on top of her head. I idly wonder if seeing his mom's hair like that is the reason Arlo seems to like his mop in a top-knot so much. Right now, it's a waterlogged mess floating around his shoulders on the surface of the water.

"A certain _somebody_—" I'm assuming the _somebody _is Jaxson as his laughter rings louder "—thought it would be funny to cannonball right as I came to the edge of the pool to take Arlo's scrunchie."

"Ah," Charlie mouths, his mustache twitching with the effort it takes to somewhat hold back his amusement. He doesn't do a great job of it, I've gotta say. "What do you say to your mom, Jax?"

Kicking his legs to propel him across the pool, Jaxson smirks, looking very much like his uncle Benjamin. "Uh, you should'a stayed a safe distance from the splash zone?"

I can't help but laugh, which earns me a happy grin from Jaxson and Bella's stink-eye. It's pretty lethal. "What? The kid's funny."

"Funny, maybe." My eyes widen as Bella quickly slides her shorts down her legs before tugging her tee over her head. Under her unassuming mom-iform, as she calls her standard attire of cut-offs and tees, she's been sporting a yellow and white striped bikini. The bottoms come up high to her waist and the lace-up bra almost looks strained. She's…matured in a lot of ways since I last saw her in a swimsuit. My poor, distracted brain conjures the memory of Bella's eighteenth birthday party.

.

.

_Jesus, the house is overflowing._

_Charlie and Renee always go all-out for their kids' birthdays, and Bella's eighteenth is no different. Well, maybe a little, because it's also the Saturday before Christmas and the last birthday she'll spend here in Florida for a while. In January, she's moving to the UK to study, so she'll spend her next couple of birthdays in some small town in the south of England. She's swapping one beach town for another, by all accounts. I'm sure Charlie said the place was called East…something. Eastbourne, maybe? Doesn't matter. It's far away; far enough that Charlie and Renee have been trying to talk her out of it since she first broached the idea a year or so ago._

"_EC! You finally made it!"_

_Renee throws her arms around me with even more enthusiasm than usual—it's clear she's already been at the chardonnay._

"_Wouldn't miss it," I admit. Grinning, I plant a kiss on her cheek and drape my arm around her shoulders to follow her through the house to the backyard, where I suspect everyone is gathered. On the way, we pass the living room full of the older generation. Charlie's and Renee's parents are here, as I'm sure are their combined hundred or so kids._

_Okay, so maybe not a hundred, but the Swans sure are babymakers._

_In the kitchen, women flock around the island where a myriad of dishes are being prepared. The chef in me is dying to roll up my metaphorical sleeves—the shirt I'm wearing is already short-sleeved—and get stuck in, but Renee leads me right out into the yard. Just as I suspected, this is where the majority of the guests are congregating._

_The bulk of the group is made up of Bella's high school friends. I recognize some of them both from the restaurant and all the time I spend over here with Charlie. There, right in the center of the pool, is the birthday girl. It's her I smile at as she spots me and hauls herself out of the water, gratefully accepting the towel I swipe from a nearby lounger._

"_Thanks, EC. You made it!"_

"_Of course. I wouldn't miss your birthday!" Reaching into my pocket, I remove a small, flat box. "It's not wrapped, sorry. We only had My Little Pony paper and I figured you're too old for that now."_

_Flashing me her mother's wide smile, Bella tosses her long hair over her shoulder and winks. "You're _never_ too old for My Little Pony."_

_As Bella opens her gift, I look around the back yard, searching…my face splits in a grin when I spot her just as Bella gasps and throws her arms around me._

"_Thank you! This is gorgeous!"_

_The simple tennis bracelet with a small white gold 'B' jumped out at me when I went into the jewelry store for my girl's now-traditional Christmas gift. It's not much, but Bella's hard to buy for. Anything she wants, she can either buy herself with her more-than-generous wages from the hotel or ask her parents to get it for her._

"_You're welcome," I chuckle, hugging her back until I realize… "Oh, you're soaked!"_

"_Crap, sorry!" Pulling back sheepishly, she toys with the bow that ties her bikini top between her breasts. It's weird and creepy of me to notice, but I can't help _but notice_ that she's starting to look less like a scrawny teenager and more like a woman._

_It makes me uncomfortable, but the perfect distraction comes in the form of a pint-size, yellow tutu-swimsuit clad toddler complete with water wings and a floppy white hat._

.

.

Shaking off the odd memory, I try to focus on anything but the curves on display in front of me. The swaths of creamy skin bared by her swimsuit are modest but impossible to ignore. As she shifts to shuck off her flip flops and tug the top of her bikini bottoms higher, I spy a tiny flash of faded stretch marks and wonder whether they're the result of her pregnancy with the twins. I remember seeing photos of Jaxson and Finley when they were first born; for twins, they certainly weren't all that small.

Clearing my throat into my fist, I watch the boys larking around in the water instead of their mother as she swan dives into the deep end. To my relief, Charlie and Renee are too wrapped up in each other to notice where my eyes were trained—somewhere noticeably south of their daughter's face. There's no easy way to hide a semi in the shorts I'm wearing, so I focus on other things to distract myself.

Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo are remarkable swimmers for kids who've grown up overseas without a pool. It's common for Jackson Bay kids to swim before they can run. Not so much for regular kids, I don't think.

"I took them all to lessons every week," Bella admits when I commend Jaxson on his backstroke technique. "Jude had to help me because I couldn't take both Jax and Finn by myself. They were in nursery by the time Arlo came along, so it was easier with him."

Even aged four, Arlo's a competent swimmer. He lacks the technique his older brothers possess and he splashes as much as he actually moves, but he's funny with it. I grin and liken him to a goofy puppy, all paws and little coordination. Bella sticks close to him without smothering and he joins his brothers in what they call Noodle Races. Each of them claims a pool noodle—Arlo goes for blue while Jaxson takes red and Finley opts for yellow—before they convene at one end of the pool.

Danny decides to help his aunt referee seeing as he's new to Noodle Races. Perching on the steps a few feet away from me, Bella counts down from three, then they take off. The rules elude me for a time or two until she takes pity on me and explains.

"You just have to sit in the middle of the noodle and hold the ends up so you're upright, then you bounce or paddle or do whatever you can to get to the opposite end of the pool before your opponents. To win, you have to still be sitting on your noodle when you get there. It's simple but hard work." Leaning closer with a glint in her eyes, she admits, "It always wipes them out. It's great as a before-bed activity."

"Ah," I mouth with a soft laugh. Instead of joining in with the conversation about the annual Fourth of July parade next week, I stick around with Bella and remain a silent spectator.

Sure enough, the boys only get five races in before Arlo complains that he's tired. Jaxson and Finley race for the tie-break; Finley wins, which doesn't seem to come as a surprise to his brothers or Bella, if their grins are anything to go by. Then Bella orders them out of the pool to change and get ready for bed. They whine and complain until Benjamin and Angela scoop Danny from the water and tell him to give hugs before they leave, then they all head inside together.

Sipping my beer in the balmy evening air, I listen to Charlie and Renee talking quietly behind me until they head in, too.

"You're welcome to stay the night," Renee tells me, offering up the den.

"That's okay, thanks. I'll finish my beer and walk home. I can grab the Jeep in the morning." Hopping up, I grab Renee for a hug. "Happy birthday, Rae. I hope you've had a good one."

Her broad smile is bookended by laughter lines and makes her eyes crinkle in the corners—the same way Bella's does, I realize. "Thank you, sweetheart. It's been a perfect day. Thank you for joining us."

Nodding, I rub the back of my neck and huff a sigh through my nose at her peal of laughter.

"See you soon, EC. Stick around as long as you like."

And just like that, I'm alone. The breeze plays with the palm leaves and sends ripples dancing over the surface of the pool, lapping at my calves. It's a beautiful evening. I wish I could hear the sea, though, like I can at my place. I love standing on the back porch listening to the waves meeting the shore. I'm so lost in thought, I don't notice Bella until she's hovering beside me with a beer of her own.

"May I sit?"

Peering up at her, I nod and pat the stone beside me. With more grace than she possessed as a teen, she sits her butt down and slips her feet into the pool to join mine. The water is cool and refreshing. Centering.

"I might miss England sometimes, but nothing beats this. I love having a pool again."

"You mean one that a million kids don't pee in on a daily basis?"

Snorting, Bella lightly kicks her legs to move the water around. "It's not that bad. They kept our local pool pretty clean. It's nice to have one right here in the backyard, though. The boys love it." Wistfulness sweeps across her face as she tips her head back to the fading sunlight. "They'll be miserable when we move out."

"Stay, then. You know your parents would keep you here forever if they thought you'd let 'em get away with it."

With a silent shake of her head, Bella tips her head to face me. I get lost in her deep gray gaze until she closes her eyes and releases a sigh so full of emotions, I wouldn't know where to begin deciphering them all. "I love being here with Mom and Dad, and I can't even begin to explain how amazing it's been watching them bond with the boys, but I'm used to having my own place. It's weird going from having my own home with Jax, Finn, and Arlo to living with my parents and sisters again."

"I can imagine." The thought of having to move back in with my parents, even only temporarily, makes my stomach twist. Giving up my home and my independence after twenty years of striking out on my own…I couldn't handle it.

"Don't get me wrong, they've been good to us," Bella says, pulling me from my memories of packing up and moving across the States to forge a new life in Jackson Bay. "I wouldn't have been able to do all this on my own. They've been so supportive and helpful with everything; I know I'm lucky to have them. I just don't know how long I'd be able to continue living under their roof without going crazy." Flashing an impish smile my way after checking the area for her parents, she admits, "I feel like a kid again. Everything is so similar to how it was when I left."

"Except you," I point out. "_You've_ changed a lot."

"True."

We fall silent, both content to gaze over the rippling surface of the pool while the sun sinks below the horizon until a sudden shiver ripples down Bella's spine.

Laughing, she rubs her arms and sighs. "It's getting chilly."

Slipping the shirt off my back, I've draped it around her shoulders before I can think too much about it.

Her smile is brighter than the solar lights that flick on just then. "Thanks."

She's a short little thing, so the shirt that fits my long, broad torso drowns her. It makes _me _feelwarm, watching her slide her arms through the sleeves and fasten a couple of the buttons. My eyes remain on her as she takes a long pull from her beer.

The ever-present tightness in my chest loosens just enough for me to suck in a deep breath. It catches her attention, but she doesn't ask any questions. Instead, she reaches over to squeeze my hand before leaning back on her arms and tipping her face to the darkening sky.

Glancing up, I can't begin to wonder what she sees that holds her attention. Mine is almost instantly pulled back to her. Sprawled over the edge of the pool with her legs swirling the water around, my shirt draped over her and a brilliant, relaxed smile on her face…

She's beautiful.

* * *

**As always, the biggest thanks go to **annaharding, LizziePaige, ThatSoAlex, Anakinsmom, and LadyLoonie **for all their help. I love you ladies!**

**Next chapter: Thursday**


	8. Chapter 8 - Bella

**I think we can safely say that the vast majority of you agree with EC, and he is most definitely NOT feeling any  
uncle-type feelings toward Bella *snorts***

**I'm still loving reading your theories as our complex main man slowly unravels his thoughts and memories. Please keep them coming!  
Some of you are so close to having it all figured out.**

* * *

**Chapter Eight**

_**Bella**_

All the splashing around in the pool wiped the boys out, just as I hoped it would, so by the time they've all trudged downstairs the next morning and shovelled some Lucky Charms into their mouths, we're _almost _late for our appointment with the realtor Mom and Dad arranged.

"Sorry!" I wince as we pile out of the car outside potential new home number one, finding Sue already waiting on the doorstep.

Sue Black, a friend of my parents' for as long as I've been alive, has always been forgiving. She has to be with six boys to raise by herself, I suppose. Her husband died when I was in my sophomore year of high school with their second-eldest son, Jacob.

"Don't be silly, you're fine. Let me get a look at you and these gorgeous boys of yours."

Jaxson and Arlo lap up her attention while Finley hangs back a little. Ruffling his hair as he leans against me, I mouth that I love him and grin at his bashful, rosy-cheeked smile.

"Okay." Sue claps her hands. "Shall we take a look around?"

Looking up at the slightly weather-beaten home in front of us, I just about manage to school my doubtful expression.

It _could_ be lovely inside.

**~ oOo ~**

Two mediocre houses and three bored boys later, we're no closer to finding our new home.

I was, perhaps foolishly, hoping for a place that wouldn't need too much work. Moving continents, getting a new job, and settling three boys into a new town are all big enough changes for right now. Home renovations definitely aren't on my wishlist or home search criteria.

Three bedrooms, a decent sized kitchen and living area with room for three growing boys, and a yard they can play in—that's what I sent to Sue when she asked for my 'must haves.'

I didn't add 'space for a dog' like Arlo asked me to. It's a possibility, but only once we've settled in and found a place to call home.

"I have a few more options, so don't fret, Bella dear." Sue wraps me in a warm hug as we stand beside our cars. It's hard to feel disheartened when she aims her positive smile at me. "You let me know when you're available and we'll get together again."

"Sounds good to me. Thank you for tolerating…" Waving an arm, I gesture at the boys wrestling on the lawn. "All this."

"Oh, don't be silly." Sue shakes her head and aims her fond smile at Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo. "Three is easy. Try having six in eight years."

I can't even imagine. The look on my face obviously says so, because laughter bubbles from Sue and catches the boys' attention.

"What, Momma? What's funny?" Arlo yells, running over until he crashes into my legs. "What's funny?"

"Nosy," I tease, raking a hand through his messy hair. It _was_ in a knot on top of his head, but somewhere between the last house and this one, he's lost the band.

"Can we go now?" Jaxson asks, barrelling over with his twin.

"Yeah, kiddo, we're going. Say 'bye' to Mrs. Sue."

"Bye, Mrs. Sue!" They chorus, racing to the car.

Once I've wrangled them into their seats and checked their buckles, we head to the beach as promised.

It's a beautiful summer day.

As soon as their feet touch sand, the boys have whipped off their shoes and taken off toward the water. "Remember the rules—"

"No further than our ankles, we got it, Momma!" Jaxson sings back before I can finish my sentence. Shaking my head with a fond smile and stuffing their abandoned shoes into the beach bag over my arm, I follow them along the sand as they splash in the ocean. The salty breeze and relaxing whoosh of the sea idling up to the shore works wonders for my chaotic mind. Sucking in a deep breath, I push away all my worries—finding a house, enrolling the boys in school, figuring out where to store all my stuff once it arrives from England…

For now, it's unimportant.

"Bella? Bella Swan? Oh my god, it _is _you!"

It takes me a hot second, but the woman running through the sand quickly comes into focus. The smile spreading across my face is instinctive.

Back in high school, I like to think I was friendly with pretty much everybody. Bay High is a small school with probably a third of the students in the bigger city equivalents—but that's how I knew every single student's name and face back then.

However, some of those faces are more memorable than others. It helps that my high school best friend has barely changed at all in the almost ten years we've been apart.

"Carlie, hi!"

She still wears her long caramel hair in a ponytail and her big eyes are still framed by wide-rimmed glasses—for fashion, not for practicality, she used to tell me.

I spy my boys eyeing us with curiosity as she throws her arms around me; I smile, waving them over. "How _are _you? It's been...God, it's been forever!"

"Nine years."

When we left high school, we stayed in touch for a while. Then I left for the UK and she headed off to college in New York, and it became nearly impossible to maintain that friendship. Daily phone calls became weekly, then monthly, then only on special occasions before tapering off completely as life took over.

Thanks to social media and Mom keeping me updated on the gossip in the crochet club, I know Carlie had a daughter shortly after I had Jaxson and Finley. I also know she got divorced not long after that. But that's where my knowledge ends.

"You look amazing! Three kids and you could still rock that old cheerleader uniform!"

My cheeks are on _fire_. "Oh man, no way! I'd be spilling out all over the place. Nobody wants to see that."

At one time, Carlie and I were on the cheerleading team for the Bay High Dolphins. She was the captain, of course—all long legs and flowing fair hair. The skimpy white and teal uniform probably still hangs in my closet at Mom and Dad's. Another relic of my youth.

An insistent tug on my skirt makes me grin. Looking down, I find Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo eyeing Carlie with varying degrees of interest. My shy middle child hangs a bit behind his brothers, but it's his face that shows recognition.

"Is this your friend from the dance team, Momma?" Finley asks softly.

"It is, baby, you're right. Boys, this is Carlie, Momma's friend from high school."

Carlie crouches to introduce herself to the boys and it's...sort of surreal, actually. It's odd to see her all grown up. As she stands and beams at me, telling me how polite and sweet my sons are, I wonder if it's just as odd for her to see _me _all grown up.

"We'll have to get together for a playdate some time."

"Definitely! You have a little girl, don't you?"

Grinning the same way I do when people mention my boys, Carlie nods and fishes her cell from her pocket. The boys have lost interest now they're not the subject of the conversation; they take off to explore the water's edge instead of hanging around with us.

The little girl Carlie shows me is _all_ her. Same caramel hair, same big, blue eyes, and the very same bright smile. Bailee Preston even has her mom's dimpled left cheek.

"She's a few months younger than your twins," Carlie tells me. "I remember seeing pictures of them and wondering how on earth you were coping with two when I was struggling with one."

I don't point out that she was going through a divorce at the same time as coming to grips with parenting a newborn.

After exchanging numbers and making plans to meet up when Bailee isn't with her father, Carlie and I part ways.

The boys have all my attention for the rest of the day—exactly the way it should be while they're still settling in. It won't be long before Jaxson and Finley's first day of first grade and Arlo's first day of kindergarten, just six weeks or so, so I'm soaking up all their silly giggles, sun-bleached smiles, and sandy hugs while I still can.

**~ oOo ~**

"Boys! We're gonna be late if you don't hustle!"

"Comin', Momma!" Often the spokesman for my little band of hooligans, Arlo is the one to yell down the stairs.

Joining me at the bottom of the stairs, Mom laughs. "Oh, the nostalgia."

Raising an eyebrow at her, I silently ask what she's talking about while wondering if it's worth chasing the boys down myself rather than waiting.

"How many times do you think I stood exactly where you're standing, yelling for you, your brother, and sisters?"

"Too many to count, I expect?" I guess with a laugh. Her wide grin tells me I'm not wrong. "Since having the boys, I have a whole new level of respect for how patient you've always been."

Mom wraps her arm around my shoulders to give me a quick squeeze as the first round of thumping footsteps hit the stairs. "Quietly, please."

Finley slows, offering her a sheepish half-smile. "Sorry, Nana."

"That's okay, honey, I forgive you. Now, how about a kiss to get you off the hook?"

Finley stops a few steps from the bottom, cocking his head and glancing my way before pointing out that, "You already forgave me, Nana. I'm off the hook."

The glance makes sense now. Of my three boys, Finley gets the most anxious. He adores his nana and papa, of course, but being around them all the time is a far cry from the twice-weekly video calls and occasional visits he's used to. He's taken a little bit to warm up. It's amazing to see him finally settling enough to tease Mom the way he would tease Jude.

Thinking of Jude reminds me that today is their planned Facetime date. While we wait for Jaxson and Arlo, I stick a reminder in my cell and listen to Finley's giggles as Mom tickles him into submission.

"My turn, my turn, Nana!"

Arlo thumps down the stairs with Jaxson on his heels. Mom gives them the same tickle treatment, then we tag-team the boys to wrangle their feet into shoes before unleashing them onto the front lawn.

I turn to Mom to check she has the picnic basket, but I'm interrupted by a trio of boys yelling war cries.

_Oh._

Strolling across the yard with his hands stuffed in his pockets and a decidedly uncomfortable expression on his face, is Edward.

Dressed in his usual work attire—a ribbed navy tee with the Burger Co. logo on his chest, tan cargo shorts, and flip-flops—he's sexy sin.

Edward Cullen is no laughing matter, no sir.

I haven't even mentioned his hair; messy, shining copper in the sunlight, begging for my fingers to pull it…

_Sigh._

Mom shoots me an odd look, which I studiously ignore, as I attempt to stifle the butterflies in my stomach and move onto the porch steps.

I think it's safe to say my teenage crush on Edward has survived almost a decade in England. Or, it's been rekindled.

"Hey, Edward."

His lips tug up into a slight smile just as the wolves descend. Arlo wraps himself around Edward's long legs, peering up at him with a beaming grin. Finley and Jaxson hang back a little, but all three pepper him with questions until I laugh and grant the poor guy mercy.

"_Boys…_"

They correctly interpret my warning tone and quiet down. Edward shoots me a look of thanks, following the boys over to where I stand.

"Are you here for your Jeep?" Mom asks.

"Yes and no," he admits, raking a hand through his hair. I assume his obvious agitation is the reason for his messy 'do and the frown that seems keen to linger on his handsome face. "I actually have a favor to ask…"

There's no hiding my surprise when his gaze turns to me.

"I hate to even ask, but I haven't got a lot of choice. Kelly and Jones are on vacation and I've called around but all my go-to crew are busy. I don't suppose…" Huffing a long breath through his nose, Edward visibly deflates, his shoulders sinking and his mouth already turned down in a dejected scowl. "You're good with people, and I could really do with someone like you out front. I've pulled Lily and TJ into the kitchen, but we've got two big bookings tonight and only me serving—"

"I'll do whatever you need me to do, Edward. Quit rambling, all right?" I laugh, instinctively reaching for him. My hand lands on his shoulder and lightly squeezes; his body heat seeps through the tee into my palm, warming my blood and increasing the beat of my heart as he flashes me a bone-melting grin.

_I used to live for that grin when I was a teenager._

"You will?"

"Sure. The boys are staying with Ben and Angela tonight anyway, so I was just going to crash Mom and Dad's date night."

Mom snorts. "You think Everly and Rosalie don't already have that covered?"

"True."

"Momma, when are we going to the park? I'm _bored_," Jaxson whines.

"All right, kiddo, we're going." Ruffling his hair, I lead him toward the car and tell Edward to text Mom the details. "What shall I wear?"

"We've got some t-shirts floating around from the last shipment, I think. I'll put one by for you. Jeans or shorts and sneakers will do just fine. And, Bella, _thank you_. I really appreciate you doing this." Shooting a glance at the boys—who're preoccupied with Mom strapping them in—he offers me a glimpse of his relief and gratefulness. "I fuckin' hate this last-minute shit. Lily, TJ, and I would probably be all right on our own any other night, but we've got these big groups comin' in..."

"Honestly, it's fine. I could do with the distraction. I never do well at being on my own without the boys."

I realize my slip as soon as the words are out of my mouth. Edward's lips tighten, his eyes darting away for a beat before returning devoid of any emotion. "I'll see you later, Bella."

Watching him climb into his Jeep and drive away without looking back, I can't help but curse my own stupidity. "_Shit_." Thankfully, Mom closing the car door drowns out my curse and stops me owing the swear jar.

"What's wrong?"

Shaking my head, I tell Mom it was nothing and head around to get in the passenger seat even though my stomach is still rolling with guilt for my—admittedly accidental—foot-in-mouth moment.

**~ oOo ~**

"...and we went to the big lake, um," Arlo looks up from my iPad to face me. "What's it called again?"

"Lake Eola," I tell him with a smile, flipping the sizzling bacon in the pan.

"Lake Eola! We had a picnic and played football with Uncle Benji and Danny."

_"Well, it sounds like you had a lot of fun!" _Jude laughs. _"Did you send me some pictures?"_

"Uh huh. Mamma mailed you some."

"Emailed!" I call out, laughing at Jude's answering, _"I guessed that's what he meant!_"

Arlo puts his little chin in his hand, leaning on the breakfast counter with an adorable furrow between his brows. "D'you miss us, Nanny Jude?" He doesn't give her even a second to answer before telling her she should just move out here with us. "We could live together again!"

I hear Jude's sigh from across the room. It twists the guilty rock in my stomach. "_I'd love to live with you again, sweetheart, but then who'd look after our apple tree?"_

"Oh, yeah."

Arlo goes off on a tangent about the apple tree he and his brothers planted with her a couple of years back. It's still a spindly little thing, but the boys loved helping her tend to it.

Jaxson and Finley trooping into the kitchen distract me from the intercontinental conversation at the bar.

"Momma, when's dinner?" Jaxson asks, leaning against me while his twin joins Arlo.

"Soon, baby. The chicken's in the oven, the sauce just needs warming up, and the bacon is _almost _done."

"Can I stir the sauce?"

"Sure. Be careful, 'kay?"

"Okay."

Mom keeps a stool in the kitchen for whichever of her grandbabies want to help with cooking, so he drags it over and hops right up to stir the sauce on the stove. I set it to low and remind him to keep his hands away from the heat, handing over a wooden spoon.

With Finley and Arlo chatting away to Jude, Jaxson already done with his turn earlier, and Jaxson helping me with dinner, I can't help but feel content.

The guilt of leaving Jude behind probably won't ever go, but times like these, in the kitchen where I used to bake with Mom and my siblings, it's easier to compartmentalize.

"Momma?"

"Yeah, baby?"

Jaxson chews his lip, a habit he definitely inherited from me, and stirs the sauce slowly. "Are we gonna stay here forever now?"

"Well…" I learned early on that my boys take every promise as gospel. If I tell them something, they believe it. It's an intense thing. Terrifying, actually. Especially when I can't be sure that what I'm telling them is going to _stay_ true. Like all the times in the past I've said their dad will show, that he'll do better, try harder.

He never does.

"We won't stay _here_, in this house, forever," I begin carefully. "But we won't be moving from Jackson Bay for a long time. Why, baby, what's bothering you?"

He shoots a quick look at his brothers, who've left their spot at the breakfast bar to give Jude a tour of the yard—the third in as many weekends. "Are we goin' back to England, though? To visit?"

"Well, how else would we see Nanny Jude, hmm? You know she's scared of planes."

Jaxson's smile pops. He shakes his head with a giggle. "She's such a fraidy cat."

'A fraidy cat' is the last thing I'd call Jude—to her face, at least. She's one of the strongest people I know. But I get what Jaxson is saying, so I gently knock his hip with mine and grin at his ensuing laugh.

"We talked about this already, didn't we? We're going to go see Nanny Jude in December, just before Christmas."

Nodding slowly, Jaxson's smile falls and he whispers, "And Dad? Will we see him then, too?"

My stomach drops to my feet. I want to say "of course," but I can't. I can't promise that.

"It's just 'cause if we don't go see him, I don't think he'll come see us, you know?"

And that right there is why I hate my ex. Jaxson won't be the only one thinking this—he'll have discussed it with Finley, for sure. Possibly Arlo, too. Their own father has made them believe they have to be the ones to make the effort because he won't.

They're six years old.

It's disgusting and heartbreaking and makes me want to scream.

At six years old, all Jaxson should be worrying about is when he gets to see his cousins next, which noodle to use for Noodle Races, and what topping he wants on his ice cream.

Switching off the stove, I scoop my son from the stool and stand him in front of me, his small face cupped in my hands. He breaks my heart.

"Baby, I can't promise that you'll see your dad at Christmas. That's up to him and his schedule, all right? But I promise you I'll try to make it happen. I'll do my best and the rest is up to him."

Jaxson heaves in a deep breath, mustering a smile. "I know you will, Mamma. I understand. You can't make him want to see us."

_Oh, baby._

"I wish I could" is what I want to say, but I don't. Instead, I remind him that his dad loves him, Finley, and Arlo, he's just not always good at showing it.

The worst of it is, when he _does _have the boys, he's great with them. He takes them out to their favorite places, feeds them their favorite food, and has a blast with them.

But then he goes weeks or sometimes months without so much as a phone call and it undoes it all. The boys don't trust him, one of the two people they should _always _be able to rely on, and it kills me. They _hope_, but they don't trust him to come when they call or show up when he says he will, and that's not how it should be.

"Okay, Momma."

Finley and Arlo run in, distracting Jaxson with Jude on the iPad, so I kiss my boy and tell him to always come to me if he has questions. He seems appeased, tearing off with his brothers to set the table and fetch Mom and Dad from his study, so I take the iPad to say my goodbyes to Jude before getting back to cooking dinner. I only have an hour before I need to head to Burger Co., but I promised to feed the boys before they head next door for their sleepover with Benjamin and Angela.

I can't shake Jaxson's worry from my mind, though, and after dinner while I get ready for Burger Co., I send their dad our tentative December itinerary.

It's no surprise to me that he doesn't respond.

* * *

**As always, the biggest thanks go to **annaharding, LizziePaige, ThatSoAlex, Anakinsmom, and LadyLoonie **for all their help. I love you ladies!**

**Next chapter: Sunday**


	9. Chapter 9 - Edward

**So it's literally _just _Sunday here, and seeing as I can't sleep, I figured you could have the update early. I'm nervous-excited for your reactions *biting nails***

**There are a couple of revelations in this one, so I'll let you get on with it.**

* * *

**Chapter Nine**

_**Edward**_

"Thanks, man. Have a great evening."

The customer waves, leaving with his wife as I scoop the disinfectant and cloth from under the bar to tidy their table.

It's been...actually, a quiet afternoon. TJ's a good guy, quiet and unafraid to pitch in, and Lily has been here for years now so she knows what she's doing. It's an adjustment for them working together in the kitchen, but they're both hard workers. Thankfully, we got the two big groups coming in later to pre-order, so they can get started with some of the stuff ahead of time. It'll make it a ton easier—especially for me.

It means I won't have to waste time taking all their orders.

"Shall I take my break now, boss?" TJ leans through the hatch to get my attention.

"Sure, go chill for a few, TJ. It's gonna get rowdy in here in a bit," I tell him with a grin and a finger-gun to my temple.

This time of year is always a bit hit and miss. Over the next couple of weeks, the bay will fill up a fair bit with vacationers. We're lucky it's mostly residential here so we don't get too overrun, but we'll still have the day-trippers and the out-of-towners who own vacation homes in the bay. This summer is already shaping up to be a scorcher, so I don't doubt the beaches will be jam-packed and the restaurant will take the brunt of the extra footfall.

The Georges' pizzeria on the beach took the edge off last year, but it's pretty small, so I'm still expecting a busy summer.

As I finish clearing the table by the window, I glance up in time to see Bella climbing out of Charlie's car and can't resist pausing to watch her. She twists her long hair back into a bun like it's easy as pie, then checks herself in the side mirror before turning toward the restaurant. My lips kick up into a smirk when she spots me and offers a wave.

She took my suggestion of shorts and ran with it. Her toned, lightly tanned legs are on show all the way up to just above her knees, as is her midriff. A laugh rumbles from my chest when I make out the writing across the front of her cropped tank top.

_Don't mess with me_

_#Momofboys_

When she joins me inside, I almost find it difficult to hand over the promised Burger Co. tee. It would be tempting to let her wear her own all evening for my own perverse viewing pleasure if it weren't for the fact that one of the two bookings we have tonight is a bachelor party.

_Oh, and it's completely wrong for me to be looking at her that way._

I have a feeling 'she's Charlie's daughter' is going to be running on a loop in my head all night long.

"Here ya go. It'll probably come up a bit big, but Lily and Kelly usually knot 'em."

"Thanks. I'll just go change." Soft and sweet, her voice alone makes me grin. My amusement melts when she turns to head to the restrooms, my gaze dropping south.

_Damn, the girl grew up good._

I instantly feel like an ass for checking her out—again. She's my best friend's daughter, for Christ's sake. Hot or not, and she's definitely the first, Bella is Charlie's baby girl. According to him, I'm her honorary uncle, not to mention eleven years her senior.

Still, I get a sick sense of satisfaction when she walks out onto the floor with my name printed across her back and on the pocket over her chest.

_You're a dick, Cullen._

"Will I do?" Bella asks with a bright smile, spinning in front of me. She's knotted the shirt over her hip like I suggested, so her ass-hugging shorts do their job and make mine infinitely harder.

No pun intended.

I'm very grateful for the bar between us, let's just say.

"Perfect," I croak, clearing my throat. "Looks great on you. We might make a Burger Co. girl out of you yet."

**~ oOo ~**

"Holy crap," Bella laughs breathlessly, her sneakers clacking on the cement floor as she steps down into the stock room.

I can't help but chuckle at her, but it quickly turns to a groan as I heft the beer barrel into place to replace the empty one.

"This is nuts!"

"It's definitely that," I agree.

Both our big groups are in, as well as a handful of walk-ins. We've had to turn away a bunch of people because we're at capacity. The smaller group of the two is a family visiting the bay. The bachelor party is thirty-two guys out to get hammered, by the looks of things. The groom is already wasted. He rocked up earlier in suspenders, a plastic clam bra, and a sparkly tutu.

Thankfully, they've all been well-behaved so far, but I've managed to keep Bella mainly dealing with the family just to be safe. I don't want to scare her off chucking her in at the deep end.

It's possible I've decided she'd be perfect for filling some of Tanya's hours. I'm not willing to drop the ball with the managerial side of things she was in charge of, but after seeing the way Bella interacts with the customers and handles herself even on a fast-paced, hectic night like tonight, I can't deny that she'd be a perfect fit here.

_And certain other places, but I'm definitely not letting my mind go there. Charlie's daughter. She's Charlie's daughter._

I've just got to man up and broach it with her.

"I never realized it gets this busy here! I don't think I've ever seen it so packed."

The excitement and exhilaration on her face...it's unreal. Her enthusiasm is infectious.

"It'll get plenty busy throughout the summer," I promise. "This is the warm-up, but it'll be crazier by mid-July. We get a ton of vacationers passing through before all the kids go back to school."

Her lips curl up and her eyes crinkle with something like...awe?

"What?" After making sure the replacement beer barrel is all connected up, I rub the back of my neck and face Bella. The look in her intense gray eyes, admiration and what I can almost trick myself into believing is affection, has my stomach aching with a mixture of discomfort and pleasure.

"You really love this, don't you? The craziness, the food, the people…"

My brows furrow. "The first two, sure. People, not so much."

"You could've fooled me. You're _great _up there," she gushes, pointing at the ceiling. "It's like, a totally different side to you that I've never seen before."

Discomfort wins out. I've never been good at accepting praise, no matter who it's from. To my relief, Bella seems to sense that. She shakes her head with a soft laugh, turning to face the floor-to-ceiling wall of drink stock.

Spying the big box of postmix Cola syrup Bella is eyeing with obvious trepidation, I ask her to find the rosé I originally came down for. "It's probably right in front of my face, but I can't see it," I lie, stifling a smile at the relief in her sagging shoulders.

"Sure! How many bottles do you need?"

"Just a couple, please. I'll take this."

The postmix isn't particularly heavy for _me_, but Bella probably would have struggled getting it up the narrow staircase back into the restaurant. Then again, I've seen her hefting her boys around and none of them are small, so who knows.

She might even be stronger than me.

**~ oOo ~**

"Okay, so I have one Bay Classic, no tomatoes, extra cheese with chili cheese fries…"

The groom cheers for his food, which Bella sets in front of him with a flourish before listing the other two dishes on her tray and handing them to the hungry, slightly inebriated bachelors who ordered them. When she returns behind the bar, it's with rosy cheeks and a dramatic wipe of her brow.

"Well done," I praise, squeezing her shoulder. "You did good, and now you can chill for a little bit." While TJ handled refilling all the drinks, Bella took charge of handing out the food. For only having eaten here once in almost a decade, she did great at recognizing everything. I guess it helps that I haven't changed any of what I'd call 'the classics.'

Every six months or so, I tweak the specials and swap out some of the less popular dishes for ones that are either new or were popular in the past. It's working out so far.

"Can I get you anything to drink?"

"A Coke would be amazing, thank you."

Distracting myself with the dirty glasses in the basin, I can't completely ignore the almost indecent way Bella palms her sternum as she drinks the cold soda I hand her. With her head tipped back and the graceful line of her neck exposed, it's impossible to stop myself wondering if the skin there is as soft as I imagine, or if she smells better up close than she does every time she brushes past me.

I don't know what the hell has gotten into me. Well, that's not strictly true. It's Bella. She's under my skin. Somehow, someway, she's wormed her way under there in an insanely short space of time. All I've got to do now is make sure she doesn't get any deeper.

"What can I do for you, hon?"

Glancing over my shoulder, I see one of the bachelor party guys leaning over the bar to talk to Bella. She can handle herself, so I'm not worried. However, I _do_ keep one ear on their exchange while I wipe down the counter. Fuckin' milkshakes exploding everywhere.

"You can write your number down for me right here."

Bella laughs, her chest brushing my side as she stretches around me to grab a fresh glass from the rack. She mouths "I've got this," so I refrain from telling the guy to do one and go back to his table.

"How about a beer instead?"

"Aw, c'mon, baby."

_Baby?_

Bella flashes the drunken goon a polite smile as she sets a bottle of Corona in front of him—a Corona he ignores in favor of staring at her. "Shall I add this to your tab, or ring you up?"

"Mm-mm, you can _somethin' _me up, baby, but ringin' ain't got a lot to do with it."

No _fucking _way. Too far. "All right—"

A split second before I can round the bar, Bella's small palm lands on my chest. The warning in her eyes and the heat of her touch is enough to make me pause, but I'm not happy about it. With a begrudging nod, I turn my attention to the asshole making moves on her. I don't mind some banter or camaraderie between my staff and the customers, but being a dick? Not on my watch, and not with her.

I'm not going to put too much thought into why it bugs me so much when it's her, specifically.

"If there's nothing else I can get you, why don't you rejoin your buddies?"

The douche cocks his head before laughing and doing as she says. Only once he's sitting back at his table do I realize how tense I'd become. How fast my heart was pounding. How hard my fists were clenched.

"Are you okay?" Bella whispers, her brows furrowed, hand still resting on my chest.

"I'm…" Shaking off the weird feeling in my chest, I scrub my hands over my face and mumble some bullshit about heading outside for some air. Before she can say anything, I'm around the bar, down the hall, and listening to the fire door slamming shut behind me.

"_Fuck._" I groan, kicking a random plastic bucket. It clatters down the alley before rolling to a stop right outside the back of Vaughn's. The fucking Vaughns.

If that prick weren't such an asshole, I wouldn't even be thinking of offering Bella a job at Burger Co. It never would have come up at Charlie's in the first place if Aro Vaughn could muster anything other than laziness and arrogance. But it _did _come up, and now I can't stop thinking about it. Asking Bella to come and help tonight was an error. It would have been easy to write her off before. But _now_, having seen her with the customers, even the rowdy ones, I can't deny she'd fit in well.

She knows the menu, she knows the staff—or most of them—and she's a treat to be around. So why am I struggling with this so much? Hell, I don't even know if she'd take the damn job if I offered it. I'm too chickenshit to bring it up.

The squeal of the door sliding open a few minutes later startles me from my thoughts. My lips kick up when a pinky-purple head of hair pops out.

"Hey, are you okay?" I can just about make out the blush rushing to infuse her cheeks with color. She steps out, hugging herself around the middle, and jumps when the door swings shut behind her with a bang. "Sorry, I just...you ran out of there pretty fast so I thought, well, I thought I'd check on you."

"I'm fine." My voice is a little too gruff and a lot too loud in the dark of the quiet night. I wince, shaking my head with a muttered curse. "Busy night, lots on my mind."

It's a shit excuse, and I know it. Bella looks ready to accept it, then she clears her throat and steps closer. The dim light on the wall illuminates her features better. The arch of her eyebrows. The narrowing of her gaze. The twist of her mouth.

She's...determined.

"That's bull."

So maybe I don't have the best response to her very correct assumption. I laugh—hard. The first chuckle is laced with surprise; the rest are pure shock.

Nobody calls me on my bullshit. With the exception of Kendra, maybe, but even she lets me get away with it for the most part.

Not Bella, apparently.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I finally manage to clear my throat and quiet the laughter threatening to make me look like I've completely lost my mind. "I'm not laughing at you."

The pursed-lipped scowl she shoots me is downright adorable. Kitten-like. "Don't lie to me, Edward."

Not for the first time, I'm struck by how much it affects me to hear my name from her lips. I'm 'Edward' to very few. Bella and her boys are the only ones who come to mind. It makes me ache. I feel like I lost that part of myself seven years ago along with the other part I never thought I'd say goodbye to.

_The part named 'Daddy.'_

"I'm not—"

"You're doing it again."

"Bella—"

"All you have to do is quit lying to me," Bella interjects with a shrug, clearly frustrated. As I step toward her, holding out my hands in supplication, she wrings hers in front of her stomach. "Did I...did I do something wrong? That guy—"

"Was being an asshole. You were perfect." My feet close the gap slightly. She's close enough that I can smell her perfume; it's sweet, light, and floral. Heady. Distracting. "Banter is one thing. Being a pushy fucker is another."

"I can handle pushy."

"But you shouldn't have to."

Blue. There's a pale tint of blue to those deep gray eyes of hers. For maybe the first time, I'm close enough to see how the flecks of darker gray are interspersed with a blue so pale it verges on white, but has just enough pigment to be visible.

"I don't, um…" Her voice trails off into a whisper, her head tipping back so she can look me in the eye.

I'm close. Too close.

My hand twitches, searching for hers. My fingers brush soft skin, electricity rippling across the connection. A shiver runs up my spine. She sucks in a deep breath, her chest ghosting over mine, and I find myself _wanting_.

It's dark and warm out here, but the heat of her touch is scorching.

Without my permission, my eyes dart down to her lips as she licks them.

"Edward, I—"

Before she can finish whatever she was going to say, the door swings open again. "EC, we've got a car crash in progress. The groom is _waaaay_ done."

TJ's appearance is like a bucket of ice cold water over my head.

_What am I doing?_

Bella's face asks the same question, the haze of the moment we just shared dissipating even quicker than it descended.

"I need to…"

Bella's shoulders sag, but she nods and smiles—though it doesn't come close to her eyes.

Shaking my head, I march inside after TJ and tell her not to loiter in the alley alone.

TJ casts a quick look over his shoulder. "Sorry, boss. I didn't want to interrupt, but—"

"It's fine."

Nodding at my clipped tone, he sighs, swerving into the kitchen as I head out into the dining area to deal with an inebriated groom and his gang of equally-drunk buddies.

**~ oOo ~**

Once the two big groups are done ordering food, I close the kitchen.

TJ and Lily have enough on their hands without worrying about any last-minute walk-ins, so I send Bella in to help out with the pot washing. Two sets of hands work quicker than one. It means I'm stuck cleaning up the dining area alone, but the time alone lets me think.

Of course my mind goes to the moment I shared with Bella in the alley.

_What was I thinking? Fuck._

So much for my mantra.

_She's Charlie's daughter._

And that's the kicker right there, because if she were anyone else I could let myself fantasize about her for a bit and then forget about her, but I can't do that this time. I already feel like a pervert for noticing how much she's changed since she left.

As I rinse the cloth and sigh, dropping myself in a seat, I wonder what's for the best. Bella would fit in here, no doubt about it, but she's already slowly but surely taking over my mind. If I see her almost every day, that could get better or worse, and I won't know until it's too late.

It's not like I'd be able to fire her easily if it didn't work out.

"Hey, Edward?"

My head snaps up, finding Bella watching me with crossed arms and a cocked head.

"What's up?"

"TJ and Lily left…"

Frowning, I listen for noise from the kitchen and hear nothing.

Bella laughs. "They walked right by you and said 'bye.' I guess you were lost in thought."

_Oh_.

With a grunt, I stand to grab the bucket of water at my feet and the cloth I'd been absentmindedly mangling. "I'll get rid of these, then we can go."

"Okay," she murmurs, heading down the stairs to the break room.

Once I've tidied up after myself, I double-check my office is all locked up, make sure everything that needs to be switched off is switched off in the kitchen, then meet Bella back out by the bar. She's sitting up on a stool, twisting slightly side-to-side. Her hesitant grin when she looks up and spots me watching her makes me sigh—again. I feel like I've been sighing a lot, lately.

"Do you want a drink?"

It's out there before I've even made the conscious decision to speak.

Bella hums, finally nodding. "Sure, why not? I haven't got the boys until tomorrow."

_Okay, then_.

**~ oOo ~**

The first two bourbons go down easy.

The following…I don't even know how many…go down easier.

"You've gotta be kidding!" Bella laughs, her rosy-cheeked smile and bright eyes making me grin.

"I'm _not_," I promise, lightly banging the bar with my fist for good measure.

Bella shakes her head and throws back her glass, finishing the last of her fourth—or is it fifth?—daiquiri. "There is _no way_ Dad did that."

Frowning, I none-too-gracefully leave my stool, grabbing the bar to keep me upright when my foot catches one of the legs. "_Shit._"

"Oh, my God, are you okay?"

My frown tightens, but a laugh rumbles out of my chest anyway. "You don't sound all that worried," I point out, gesturing at her holding her stomach and laughing her ass off at my almost-misfortune.

"I really am," Bella giggles.

"Hmm. Wait here a second." I return a couple of minutes later with my laptop and my glasses. The glasses are a necessary evil, however much I dislike wearing them in public. Reclaiming my stool, I notice… "You could have filled your glass up. You don't need to wait for me, if you want another."

"I didn't want to assume…"

I wave one hand at the shelves filled with booze and use the other to power up the laptop. "Help yourself."

Bella hops down, giggling "whoa" when she almost goes flying before saving herself by clutching the bar. "I haven't stood up in a while. I forgot I'd need a sec to adjust." Palming her cheek, she rolls her eyes at herself. "Lightweight express, coming through."

"I suppose…do you get a lot of chances to drink, though? With the boys, I mean…"

"It's not easy," she agrees, slipping her feet out of her sneakers to round the bar in just her socks. "Jude used to babysit for me sometimes, but mostly I had the boys 24-7 and I never drink when I have them with me."

For reasons besides who her parents are, I've come to realize that I admire the heck out of Bella. The last couple of hours have flown by. We've covered topics ranging from Burger Co. to England to being back home with her parents. She's spoken about raising her sons by herself without going into their father's whereabouts in any kind of detail, although I know enough to be sure I'm not going to like hearing about him.

"Didn't their dad ever watch them so you could go out with friends?" As soon as the question is out there, I second-guess asking it. Bella frowns, looking down at her hands on the smooth bar top.

"Not often. To be honest, I didn't have that many friends to go out with, anyway. I got pregnant right out of college when all the friends I'd made were starting out in their new careers. I kept in touch with a couple of them, but it all fizzled out." She manages a weak smile. "Besides, I had Jude, and then I had my boys. They're the best friends I'll ever need."

Uncharacteristic nosiness, coupled with secondhand annoyance that it doesn't sound like she had the support she should have, forces me to keep speaking. "But the boys' dad...he should have stepped up, Bella. I'm betting he wasn't sitting around at home helping you, was he?"

Her sarcastic smile says it all. "He definitely wasn't. I mean, he was pretty good for the first couple of years with Jax and Finn. He had his moments, but I just kept explaining it away as new father jitters, you know? Lord knows I had plenty of 'what the hell have we done' moments."

Smiling just slightly, I nod. "Don't we all."

Her eyes soften as she lifts them to me, then shakes her head as if getting rid of a bad memory. "Richard was a decent enough dad for as long as it suited him. By the time my little 'whoops' baby came along, he'd basically checked out. Having said that, I'll be forever grateful for that dumb night of too much drinking and not enough thinking for giving me Arlo. He's the result of a few-too-many glasses of wine and very little thought."

I bark a laugh even though I'm more than disgusted by how Bella-and the boys-have been treated by a man who should be cherishing everything he has. Sorry, _had_. If nothing else, Bella moving halfway around the world with their boys is clue enough that he doesn't deserve them.

I'm not sure if it's the few drinks I've already had or just a random burst of inspiration, but I abruptly remember something Renee has mentioned a few times that makes my eyebrows hike higher. "Wait...did you say his name is 'Richard?'"

Cocking her head to the side, Bella nods. "Well, technically it's 'Michael,' but he goes by 'Richard.' Why?"

Snorting into the dregs of my drink, I shake my head at myself. "Isn't his surname 'Holder?'"

I see the exact moment Bella catches on. Her eyes crinkle in the corners, her lips curling up in a slow smile that makes her whole face seem to glow.

Oh yeah, she's caught on.

"Richard Holder..._Dick Holder_. His parents didn't like him much, did they? Shit. And he chooses to go by 'Richard' rather than 'Michael?'"

"I have no idea why, honestly, but yeah. He'd always correct anybody who called him 'Michael.' Such an idiot."

Despite how much I'd love to punch..._Dick_...in the face for treating Bella and the boys like shit, I can't help but laugh at his unfortunate name. Dick Holder. Christ. Thankfully, Bella joins in, although I'm sure she's heard the same joke plenty of times.

"All right, chuckles," she finally sighs when our laughter tapers out. "What d'you want?"

Glancing up over the top of my glasses, I catch a glimpse of her biting her lip and staring at me before she spins to face the wall of alcohol. "Jameson, please. Neat is fine."

"Comin' up," I hear her mumble as I click on the shortcut for Facebook and bring up the Burger Co. page. Changing it over to my personal page feels…foreign. I can't actually remember the last time I looked at it.

_**43 new notifications.**_

_**5 unread messages.**_

_**3 friend requests.**_

_No, thank you._

Ignoring all of those, I type Garrett's name in the search bar and click on his profile. I can't help but laugh—his wall is littered with pictures of his girls, all posted by Tanya. The latest one was posted just fifteen minutes ago.

"Oh, look at that." Bella joins me on my side of the bar and sighs at the picture of Garrett, Tanya, and baby Ivy snuggled together in their bed. "You'd never know she had a baby three days ago."

Bella's right. Tanya looks tired, sure, but no more so than any parent of three hyper girls, I'd bet. Now she has four, one of whom is just three days old, and she looks great.

Scrolling past the photo, I murmur my thanks to Bella for the drink she sets beside my laptop, searching for one particular post…

"Aha! Got it."

As soon as the first photo comes up bigger on the screen, Bella loses it. Her smile lights up the room as she turns the computer to face her and leans in closer, flicking through the album Garrett titled "Easter 2018."

"No _freaking _way! How did you get him to do this?"

Grinning, I explain the story of how Charlie lost a game of poker and wound up being the Easter bunny at the Jackson Bay Easter Hunt.

"How did I not see these pictures?"

I shrug, taking a mouthful of my drink. "Are you friends with Gare?"

"Oh, no, probably not. Do you mind…?"

"Go for it."

Bella logs out of my account before logging into hers. It doesn't come as a surprise to me when both her profile and cover pictures feature herself and the boys—the latter also includes an older lady.

"That's Jude," Bella says when I lean in a little closer. "She's the boys' nana, for all intents and purposes."

"Nanny Jude." The boys mentioned her a bunch of times when I was over there the other night. It's obvious they admire her. All three are hanging off her cardigan-clad torso—Finley on her lap, Jaxson to her left, and Arlo draped over her shoulder as he plants a kiss on her cheek.

"That's the one."

It always takes me a bit to navigate Facebook. Bella has Garrett's profile back on the screen and a friend request in his inbox within seconds.

"There we go. He better accept."

Bella is teasing, I know that. I have no idea what makes me say, "He'd be a fool not to."

My tone is too gruff, too serious, to pass it off as a friendly joke. _Fuck. _I'm out of practice with casual conversations that don't revolve around Burger Co.

Her eyes widen slightly, her lips sliding open as she flounders for a moment. "Well…I _am_ a good person to be friends with."

"I don't doubt it."

We lapse into silence; it's the most content I've been all day. All week, maybe. For such a sunny person, she has a surprisingly calming air about her. She's relaxed, playing a game on her phone while I take the opportunity to respond to a few emails. Our arms brush every now and then, sending static zipping between us. My battle for concentration is only hindered by the whiskey flowing through my veins and the warmth emanating from Bella at my side.

After a few minutes, I realize she's not looking at her phone anymore. She's looking at me.

Her gaze is intense, her eyes a hundred different colors but not even a little confusing. They're fire and determination and strength. They're full of passion, knowledge, and a fierceness I can only admire. They're sure and true. Gray and blue and all the shades between.

She was once a funny little girl who questioned the world and lit up whole rooms with her cheerful personality.

Now she's a beautiful woman with curves that won't quit and a smile that makes me want to promise things I have no right promising.

Pursing her lips, Bella throws the last of her drink back. "Refill?"

Part of me wants another. I'm not even close to halfway through the bottle—which isn't like me. However, it's past midnight and we're both way past legal to drive. I'd usually crash on the bed in the studio upstairs on nights like tonight, when I can't drive or I don't feel like walking home.

When I bought the restaurant, I had no idea what to do with the space upstairs. In the end, I turned it into a compact studio and a small, one-bed apartment. Kelly rents the apartment and I use the studio as a bolt-hole. As tempting as it is to do the same thing tonight, I've got to make sure Bella gets home safely first, and by the time I've walked her home I'll be closer to my place than here, anyway.

"I'm good, thanks."

Bella frowns, looking disappointed when I add that it's probably time we get going.

_There's no way she's as disappointed as I am that our night is coming to an end._

"I guess you're right."

"Finish your drink, I'm in no rush. I've got to make sure everythin's squared away before we go anywhere."

Nodding pensively, Bella swirls her straw around her glass. After powering down the laptop, I carry it with me to my office where I deposit it with my glasses—studiously ignoring the pink velvet-backed photo in the same drawer. The muffled sound of music from the restaurant makes me smile. Bella found the sound system, it would seem.

Once I've checked the safe and the kitchen, I double-check the fire door and then lean against it for a moment, heaving in a deep breath.

The temptation to just give in and get another drink is difficult to resist. I rarely stifle the urge to drink these days. I have no reason to. It's become my crutch; the comfort I reach for at the end of the day. It's unhealthy, but it's all I have.

But when I walk out into the dining area to find Bella swaying to a heavy beat in front of the bar, drink in hand and a serene, closed-eyed smile on her face, it's not whiskey I'm craving.

* * *

**Come find me on Facebook - Ciara Shayee Hill - to see the graphics I make to go along with each chapfer and tell me how much you hate Bella's ex, the, *ahem,* delightful Dick Holder.**

**As always, the biggest thanks go to **annaharding, LizziePaige, ThatSoAlex, Anakinsmom, and LadyLoonie **for all their help. I love you ladies!**

**Next chapter: Thursday**


	10. Chapter 10 - Bella

**Because I'm somewhat nice (and I like waking up to all your lovely reviews when my horrid alarm goes off at 4am) I decided to post this before I go to bed instead of waiting until morning. You're welcome ;) and after the mean teaser I posted on Facebook, I know none of you care about what I have to say up here, so on with the show...**

* * *

**Chapter Ten**

_**Bella **_

Even with a few too many daiquiris in me, I'm scarily aware of Edward's presence.

The seductive beat of the music drowns out his footsteps, but the warmth of his gaze on me is impossible to ignore.

Lewis Capaldi's gravelly voice fills the room, my hips instinctively swaying to the beat. My eyes slide closed, the buzz of alcohol loosening my movements and my inhibitions.

It's been _so long _since I let go and had a few drinks.

_Which is probably why you're such a lightweight, _the sensible, rational, easily-ignored part of my brain points out as I feel the heat of Edward's body nearing.

"What are you doing?" His voice is a rumble.

A delicious, growly, close-to-my-ear rumble.

"Dancing," I breathe, sucking in a deep breath as I slowly spin. He catches me before I make it all the way, large hands encasing my hips and holding me captive. I feel a rush of air as he heaves in a breath, his chest brushing my back, he's that close now.

This sudden turn of events…me, him, _this moment_…is a heady rush of _will he, won't he?_

My stomach knots, excitement and nerves and want all rolled into one. With each drink, my attraction to Edward has only gotten harder to ignore.

He always used to have a short, trimmed beard. Now, it's a little longer, more unkempt. It's surprisingly sexy. The sharpness of his green gaze contrasts with the gentle way his eyes caress my skin. His Burger Co. tee hugs his biceps and chest in a way that draws attention to the no-doubt firm muscles underneath. His cargo shorts are almost molded to his thick thighs, but not so much that they look silly.

A vague image of Edward wearing the tight jeans my ex always favored almost makes me laugh.

I would have, if not for the slight squeeze of Edward's hands before he slowly slides one up my side, sneaking his fingertips below the hem of my borrowed t-shirt.

"You're sin, you know that?"

"Wh-what?"

His low chuckle spreads through me, his chest pressing against my back. "I almost didn't give you this shirt. I liked you in the other one too much."

"_Oh_…" My response, faint though it is, apparently amuses him. He laughs again, gently but firmly spinning me around. I have to tip my neck to peer up at him, realizing just how tall he is in comparison to my petite five-four. His presence is overwhelming. He dwarfs me, his broad form surrounding me, his wide shoulders at my front and his hand at the small of my back holding me to him.

Edward's eyes shine a bright, grassy green as he gazes down at me, his nostrils flaring when I tentatively rest my hand on his waist before boldly diving under the fabric. The heat of his skin under my palm warms my entire body. My cheeks flush, my heart hammering against my chest.

My sixteen-year-old self would be squealing her head off if she could see us now.

The tender yet firm grasp of Edward's hands on me is maddening. It's perfect and yet not enough. He lightly teases the curve of my waist with his fingertips, the corner of his mouth curling up in a slight, devious smirk.

"What are you, um…what are you doing?"

"Can't you tell?"

"N-no." _I can _hope_, but that's not the same thing, and it's probably the daiquiris talking._

Leaning closer, so his breath fans over my face—smoky and spicy with a hint of sweet from the sip of my drink he stole earlier—Edward sighs. The conflict, his hesitation, it's a living, breathing entity between us. It's all over his face and his slow but deliberate touch. I can see the war raging in his head. "I'm taking you home."

Disappointment lands heavy in my gut, a lump in my throat. "It doesn't feel like it."

"No?" Edward's hand stretches farther up my shirt. A shiver ripples down my spine as the very ends of his long fingers reach the bottom of my bra.

_Holy shit, is this happening? Does Edward Cullen seriously have his hand up my shirt?_

The ever-so-slight brush of his fingers against my breast confirms that _yes_, he absolutely _does _have his hand up there. And boy, do I wish he'd do more than just lightly brush against me.

A breathy sigh rushes from my lungs as he glides his hand lower. The calloused tips of his fingers leave goosebumps in their wake before hitting the band of my shorts. For a second, I waver, wondering…

_Is this a good idea? Do I want this?_

The cool air that replaces his touch when he finally mumbles something too soft for me to decipher and pulls his hand away leaves me feeling cold. _Yeah, I want this._ Our chests touch when we each suck in a deep breath. I can't help but smile; he mirrors it, something like wistfulness clouding his pretty eyes. If I didn't understand his reasons, if I weren't pretty confident that our ages and our connection—namely, my parents—are to blame for him slamming on the brakes, I'd be pissed at his hot and cold routine. As it is, I remind myself that this feels great right now, but a heat-of-the-moment lax in sense isn't the way I want this to happen with us, if anything is going to happen.

"I really am taking you home," he says, looking more like he's trying to convince himself than me.

"Okay," I say softly, biting my lip for a moment before leaning into his chest and winding my arms around him. He's big—broad as well as tall—so they only just cross over. My head goes to his chest, warm and firm, and the nerves I was feeling before dissipate as his hands rest at the small of my back and his chin lands on my head.

It's sweet and tender and not at all like any of the casually friendly interactions we've had in the past or the heated exchange just moments ago. It's…more. It's perfect. It's progress.

"C'mon, short stuff. Let's get you home."

After making sure everything is as it should be, Edward grabs his lightweight sports coat and leads me out into the night. The Boardwalk is well lit, so we take off together with the glow of the streetlights making his hair shine copper and his eyes gleam whenever I catch him looking at me instead of where we're going.

Something has shifted tonight. I may have been drinking, but I'm not blind or stupid. I can feel _something _is different. The way he's looking at me, the way his hands felt on my skin, the heat of him looming over and around me…

Oh yeah, that crush I was so desperate to escape from all those years ago definitely survived the separation.

Ambling along with the soft breeze playing with my hair and the warmth of the summer night keeping me from feeling a chill, I can't help but ask, "Why are you being so nice?"

Edward raises his eyebrows, jamming his hands in his pockets. "Why wouldn't I be?"

I shrug. "No reason. I just…you seem…"

One side of his mouth curls up. "Different?"

I smile right back at him. "Have you been hearing that a lot?"

"Kind of." He hums, looking up at the sky for a beat like he's searching for something.

_Or someone._

"Why did you come back?"

The sudden change of topic shouldn't surprise me, but it does. I frown down at my feet as we walk side-by-side, past the ice creamery and the laundromat and the Samuels' bakery.

"I wanted to be closer to my family. I wanted _the boys_ to be closer to them. In England, we only really had Jude. Here, they have grandparents, aunts, an uncle, a cousin…"

"What about their father's family?" I can see that it pains him to ask questions. The sight of him looking so uncomfortable makes me grin, though. I feel like he's pushing his own boundaries with the small talk. I get the feeling he doesn't do enough talking. If spilling my own train wreck of a love life helps him open up a bit more, I'm game.

"He has a younger brother, Robert. His parents live an hour or so away from where I lived with the boys, and Robert lives near them with his wife and their son. I think the last time we saw any of them was when their boy was born, and he turned two in May."

"Christ, so Arlo was…two?"

"Mmhm." He's changed so much since then. He wasn't even talking in any kind of sentences the last time he saw any of his extended paternal family. Arlo babbled, but none of it really made sense until he was around three and started going to nursery. Sometimes, figuring out what he wanted was like having to decipher the Da Vinci code. "Jax and Finn occasionally ask about them, but not often, and Arlo probably wouldn't have a clue who I was talking about if I brought them up."

"That's…real sad."

"It is. I see the boys with Mom and Dad, or with Rose, Everly, and Ben, and it just boggles my mind that they have great relationships with them but don't know the family members who lived fifty miles away from us."

Edward's right—it _is_ sad that the boys don't know their paternal family. However, I learned early on that the people who really care will make the effort. Take my parents, for example. They've flown out at least twice a year, every year, since I left for England. My siblings even came when they could. Yet the boys' other grandparents and uncle could barely be bothered to send cards for their birthdays or Christmas.

One year, Jaxson and Finley's shared birthday card was made out 'To the twins.' Their grandmother didn't even write their names on it.

"Did they object to you leaving the country?"

I laugh, but the sound holds no humor. "I wouldn't know. They didn't respond to any of the messages I left on their answer machine or the last-ditch email I sent. I assume Richard told them I was leaving as well after he told me 'do whatever' when I asked for his thoughts on moving."

"Christ, Bella. That's all kinds of fucked up."

"You're tellin' me."

I'll never regret the poor decisions that kept my relationship with Richard going for so long, because I got my boys out of it, but he's not the man I thought he was when we started out. He's not the father I would have chosen for my sweet, funny, caring sons. I'm not always sure that I'm the best mother on the planet. In fact I'm definitely not. I lose my shit with them sometimes and I'm not always as patient as I probably should be, but that's parenthood. I apologize, the boys usually apologize, and we move on. None of us are perfect, and that's one of the biggest things that frustrates me about Richard. I've never demanded perfection from him. All I've ever asked is that he prioritize his sons. They deserve better than his half-assed attempts at being a parent when it suits him.

Glancing around, I realize we're not far away from the house. A few minutes, give or take. Our time is running short, and I'd rather not spend it talking about my ex or his family. "Aren't you walking in the wrong direction? Your house is a few streets that way, right?"

"It's fine, Bella. I said I'd get you home and I will." Edward's tone brooks no argument, but it makes me smile.

"I appreciate it. You didn't have to."

"Sure, I did." He flashes me a grin, and it strikes me for the first time that it looks strained, like he doesn't do it often. As he reaches up to rub the back of his neck, Edward confirms my suspicion. Smiling makes him uncomfortable. Noted. "Your dad would have my head on a platter if he found out I let you walk home alone at this time of night."

Laughter bubbles out of me. "You sound like a boy taking a girl on a first date or something." Raising an eyebrow, I ask, "Do you have honorable intentions, Mr. Cullen?"

"Not at all," Edward says casually, barking a soft chuckle when my feet come to an abrupt stop and the smile falls from my face.

"You…why would…you can't _say _things like that!"

"Why not?"

"Because…" I flounder for a moment, shaking my head and speeding up to catch up with him. "Because it's mean to tease."

"Who says I'm teasing, short stuff?"

My poor brain can't keep up.

One minute he's putting the brakes on, the next he's teasing…_maybe_? I can't even tell. The tiny smirk on his face when I peer up at him gives nothing away, nor does the moonlit jade of his eyes. If he didn't look so pleased with himself, and if he didn't look so damn hot even obviously smug, I might be able to muster some annoyance. As it is, I'm mildly frustrated.

"God, Edward—"

"I'm sorry." He stops, gently taking one of my hands to turn me toward him. I can see the regret in the curve of his frown; the hesitance and sincerity shines through his eyes. I'm just not sure what it is, exactly, that he regrets. "We've both had a few too many drinks to be acting completely rationally, I think."

My heart sinks. I slip my hand from his, shoving both in my pockets. _I get it, I get it, I get it_, I tell myself, trying to talk myself out of falling into my usual cycle of rejection-fuelled self-depreciation.

Before he can completely crush my fragile ego, I decide to do it myself. "You're right. We're both a little too tipsy to make good decisions. No harm, no foul, Edward."

Confusion knots my brows as Edward's expression changes and he faces away for a moment. When he turns back to me, he's not the Edward of thirty seconds ago. He's closed off, blank-faced.

"You'd better get inside," he says simply, dismissing me.

Looking up, I realize we're at the foot of Mom and Dad's driveway. The lights are all off except in the foyer, its welcoming glow sneaking through the glass in the top of the front door. Suddenly, all I want is my boys. "Thanks for walking me home."

He nods, itching to leave. He shuffles his feet, rubs his neck, and glances toward the street that will take him to his house a couple of blocks over.

He's already running but he hasn't even moved yet.

"Welcome."

"Goodnight, Edward," I whisper, turning to head up the drive.

When I peer out of my bedroom window a few minutes later, part of me hopes he'll still be standing there.

He isn't.

**~ oOo ~**

Every year on the Fourth of July, all the residents of Jackson Bay put together a parade.

Compared to some other places, it's a pretty small affair. The businesses in town put together a few floats, Burger Co. usually caters, and the whole town turns out in force to watch the fireworks on the beach.

I didn't realize how much I missed it until I wake up on the fourth of July and remember that my boys are going to be right up there at the front of the parade. Swan's Nest is the main sponsor this year, so Dad invited my three boys and Danny to be the mascots—along with the graduating kindergarten class of Jackson Bay Montessori.

"Momma, today's the parade!" Jaxson crows, leaping onto my bed when the sun is barely shining through the drapes.

Groaning, I roll over and tug him with me. He giggles, wriggling around to sneak under the covers. I slowly ease one eye open.

Moppy-haired and still wrinkled with pillow lines across his cheek, Jaxson grins, leaning in to pop a kiss on the tip of my nose. "Mornin', Momma. It's the Fourth of July!"

"I know, baby," I rasp, still half-asleep but waking up fast. "Are you excited to be in the parade?"

"Uh huh. Papa says me, Finn, and Arlo are gonna be at the front."

"That's right, you will be—Danny, too. That means you've got to behave."

Jaxson flashes me his father's grin and crosses his heart. It's then that I notice…

"Did you lose your pjs while you were sleeping, kiddo?"

There is no sweeter sound than my boy's giggles. Jaxson's are too loud for my still-waking-up ears but they're still glorious as I tickle his bare belly before burying my face in his neck and blowing raspberries against his skin.

"Momma, _stop_," he whines between giggles, wriggling away from my tickling fingers. When I let up with one last, loud smooch to his forehead, he offers me the sort of long-suffering smile I'm sure I wear when my parents are embarrassing. "You're silly."

"But you love me silly," I point out, snuggling back down under the covers with my biggest boy.

"Yeah, I guess you're fun." Before I can tickle attack him again, Jaxson twists to face me, tucking his hand under his head and resting it on the pillow. I mirror him, already obscenely sad about the fact that, one day, he won't want to do this with me anymore.

"What's up, kiddo? You've got your thinking face on."

"I'm just wonderin'…can we go eat at Edward's restaurant again?"

My stomach twists. Since that awkward ending to a great night the other day, I haven't seen Edward. The day after I helped at the restaurant, he dropped an envelope of cash into the mailbox with my name and "thank you" scribbled across the front. He didn't even come to the door.

It's obvious that he regrets what happened. I can still remember the whisper-soft brush of his fingers against me, the trail they blazed down my stomach, and his strong chest at my back. It's pretty clear he wishes he could forget it all.

I'm disappointed, but I can't say I'm surprised.

"I don't know, baby," I sigh. "He'll probably be at the parade today. You'll see him there if you get hungry."

"I'm already hungry."

"Shock, horror," I laugh. "What do you say, shall we get up and make some breakfast? You need lots of fuel in your belly so you're ready for later on."

"Can we have muffins? Ooh, and bacon?"

"Sure, Jax. Whatever you want."

After sending him off to fetch a pair of pajama bottoms, we head downstairs together. Mom and Dad aren't up yet, which doesn't come as a shock. They got back from visiting one of Dad's out-of-state hotels late last night, so they're probably exhausted. Rosalie stayed over at the hotel, and Everly got in late after a night out with her girlfriends at Blue, the one and only bar in Jackson Bay. I don't expect to see any of them until much later in the morning.

"All right, kiddo. Do you remember what we need to make the muffins?"

"Uh, I _think _so…"

Stepping into the pantry together, I grin and congratulate him when he remembers all of the ingredients except two—the cinnamon and milk.

By the time we've measured and mixed everything and started spooning the mixture into cupcake liners, Mom and Finley are up.

"Morning, sweetheart. Happy Fourth." Mom plants a kiss on the side of my head before grabbing Jaxson's face to pepper it with noisy kisses.

"Nana!" he whines, but I can tell he's loving it by his big grin.

"What? It's a nana's right to give her gorgeous grandbabies some love in the morning." She turns her attention to Finley next, who flushes crimson but laps up her attention.

Once she's done, Mom sits herself at the breakfast bar beside Finley. He's still waking up, his eyes half-lidded and his hair an absolute mess as he rests his elbows on the counter and his chin in his hands.

"What are we making this morning?" Mom asks, eyeing the mess across the counter.

"Breakfast muffins!" Jaxson crows, adding a too-big dollop of mixture to one of the liners.

"Careful, don't overload it, kiddo."

He flashes me a grin and takes some out, dumping it in the next one. "Fixed it."

"Can I help at all?"

"No, Mom. You sit and relax. Can I get you a coffee?"

She smiles and shakes her head—at my stubbornness, presumably—before asking for her usual. Thankfully, she's easy when it comes to coffee. Black, no sugar is the way she's always taken it.

As I set the steaming coffee in front of her a couple of minutes later, Jaxson tells me he's done and the bowl is basically empty.

"You can share the bits in the bowl with your brother," I tell him pointedly, laughing when he groans. He should think himself lucky it's just Finley. If Arlo were up, his big brothers likely wouldn't get a look in. As it happens, I don't expect him to get up for a little while yet. He loves his sleep, like me. We're the bed hogs while Jaxson and Finley are usually my early risers.

With Mom sipping her coffee, the boys sharing the little bits of batter in the bowl, and the muffins cooking nicely in the oven, I lean against the counter and sip my own coffee as I run through today's to-do list.

Once we've all eaten, Mom will want to take over the kitchen so she can get the cookies made for later on. I haven't seen it since I left for England, but the parade always used to include a food area down at the end of The Boardwalk. There, Burger Co. would serve burgers and fries to everyone. As far as I can remember, Mrs. Paul from the ice creamery used to take her cart out, too, and the old owners of the Samuels' bakery—Charlie's grandparents, who both retired to Boca while I was gone—brought some of their delicious pastries and cakes. I suppose the Georges will want to contribute something from the pizzeria, too, but I don't know for sure.

Then there's the parade itself. It was always small when I was a kid, although it felt big to me as a young child.

"Momma, are we gonna be off the ground when we float today?" Jaxson asks around his fingers.

Handing him a spoon, I smile at his mumbled, not-very-sincere apology as he continues shoveling whatever crumbs he can into his mouth. His brother has given up now there's basically nothing left, but not Jaxson. He's nothing if not tenacious to the end.

"Off the ground? What do you mean?"

"You know," he says in a way that tells me he thinks I _should _know what he's talking about, even though I have no idea. "When we float?"

_Oh._

"You mean when you're _on _the float?"

"Sure, I guess."

"You won't be floating, kiddo. It's called a float because…" Looking at mom, I ask her because I haven't a clue where floats get their name from. "Why are they called 'floats?'"

"Well, don't ask me how I know this because I really can't remember, but I believe they were first introduced in the Middle Ages for a celebration, and they decorated boats and barges on the River Thames, which obviously _floated_."

Well, that would make sense, I suppose. "Huh. You learn something new every day."

Jaxson frowns. "So we're not gonna float?"

"No, kiddo. You're not going to float. You do get to ride on the big trailer at the front of the parade, though. That's cool, right?"

"Sure." He shoots mom a mischievous grin. "That means I get more cookies, right, Nana?"

"You little ratbag. How did you know I'm baking cookies for your float?" Mom laughs, playfully tapping his cheeks.

"I heard you and Papa talkin' about it last night. I'd prefer chocolate chip, if that's okay with you. They're your best ones."

_This kid, I swear. _"You'll be lucky if Nana gives you any, speaking to her like that."

Summoning as innocent an expression as he can manage, Jaxson dumps the now-empty mixing bowl on the side and twists to sit on the counter beside it, facing Mom. "Pretty, pretty please, Nana, may I have some chocolate chip cookies?"

If I were Mom, I'd make him sweat a little, but she's too soft. Her faux-serious expression melts quicker than ice cream in summer. "Of course you can, sweetheart. You all can. But _first_, how about we have this breakfast, which smells delicious, by the way," Mom offers with a wink.

"I helped!" Jaxson puffs his chest out, still sans shirt of course, and grins.

"Well, then I'm sure it will be _extra _delicious, sweetheart."

Sure enough, when we pile out onto the patio fifteen minutes later with two trays of muffins and a plate of crispy bacon, Dad and Everly are drawn out by the smell of yummy food. Arlo follows shortly afterward, crawling into my lap with a body-shaking yawn and cheeks still lined by his pillow.

I can't help but laugh, running my fingers through his wild mane. "Good sleep, baby?"

"Good," he mumbles, tucking his head under my chin and wriggling his bony butt to get comfy. It's not particularly comfy for _me_, but I'll never turn away my boys if they ask for cuddles. Never, ever.

By the time I've shared a plate of food with Arlo, he's much more alert. He's also remembered that it's 'parade day,' so his energy levels sky-rocket and I can already tell that wrangling Arlo is going to be my full-time job today.

Well, if anything is going to distract me from Edward's continued ghosting routine and his inevitable presence at the parade, Arlo will be it.

* * *

***peeking through fingers* Soooo, that happened. I mean, really, can you blame him for putting on the brakes? He's in a tough spot and as a lot of you have correctly guessed, he's still drowning in grief. There's also Charlie and Renee to consider.**

**Anyway. Please don't pitchfork me. If you do that, they'll _never _make it to first base...or second, or third... ;)**

**As always, huge thanks to my wonderful team of ladies who call me on my bull and point out when I'm being too liberal with my 'it's fiction' excuse. **annaharding, LizziePaige, ThatSoAlex, Anakinsmom, **and** LadyLoonie, **I love you all dearly.**


	11. Chapter 11 - Edward

**Uploading a smidge early (for me, anyway) because I'm still riding my gin high after completing my 50k words in 30 days challenge, but I'm not sure I'll be feeling so hot in the morning *facepalm***

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Eleven**

_**Edward**_

Salty sea air, late afternoon sun, and the whoosh of the sea rushing up the shore. My happy place.

Or, my comfortable place.

The beach is my favorite part of living in Jackson Bay. Spending the afternoon and evening serving the people of the bay is no real hardship for me when I have the sounds and smells of my favorite place to keep me fueled.

_It's not like I've got a family desperate to spend the holiday with me._

"There ya go, man. That'll be thirteen fifty."

"Thanks, EC."

Leaning against the counter after serving another happy customer, I release a long sigh and look out over the beach through the hatch.

I have the prime spot. Right where the beach meets The Boardwalk—the main street which cuts through Jackson Bay—sits the Burger Co. food truck. It comes out a few times a year for big events like this or when people hire us to cater parties and weddings. While TJ, Lily, and Jones man the restaurant, I've got Kelly with me in the truck and Burger Co.'s newest recruit, Xavier—or New Kid, as he's better known—serving the picnic tables. He's been with us part-time for a couple of months now. He's slow to pick things up, but the customers love him.

From my vantage point, I can see Mrs. Paul serving cones from her freezer cart and the Samuels' selling donuts and pastries decorated in red, white, and blue.

The Georges are serving off the deck of their pizzeria, the smell of the pizzas cooking in their clay ovens almost making me want to send New Kid over to grab me a slice. It smells _amazing._ Thankfully, the competition hasn't impacted my business as much as I was expecting. The usual suspects still come over for their favorite burgers and fries.

_Speaking of usual suspects._

"Hey, EC." Benjamin saunters over with Danny clinging to his shoulders, blue icing smeared across his cheeks.

With a small, wry grin, I ask, "Did you get into the treats, by any chance, Danny?"

The boy giggles, wiping his face with the back of his arm. "The pretzels are _so good_. You should go get some before they're all gone."

I nod. "I'll be sure to do that."

"How's it goin' over here?" Benjamin lifts Danny off his shoulders and sets him on his feet as he wriggles, wanting to go see one of his friends at a nearby table.

"Good. I wondered if people would head over to the pizzeria, but we've been busy all afternoon."

Benjamin grins, fishing his wallet from the pocket of his shorts. I'm dropping a fresh batch of fries and reaching for the 60-40 beef and pork patties before he can request his usual. "And I'll take some house fries for the little one."

"Sure thing."

He waits for his food mostly silent, asking an occasional question and laughing when I grumble a curse, both of us watching New Kid drop the tray of fries he fetches from me a few minutes later.

"For fuck's sake."

"He the new guy?" Benjamin tosses his thumb over his shoulder, chuckling even as I scowl and put some more fries in the fryer.

"Not anymore. He was new two months ago."

"Ah," Benjamin mouths as New Kid slowly walks over, his hand in his hair and a sheepish-as-hell look on his face.

"Sorry, boss. You can take that outta my wages—"

"I was going to," I grumble, telling him to comp the table their whole meal.

Thankfully, Kelly is back from her break by the time I've served Benjamin his Spitfire burger and given Danny his fries. She's just in time to take over and run the new batch of fries to the table who, thankfully, were happy to wait. When she returns, she tells me to grab a beer from the cooler and go take a break for myself.

"But I'm—"

"Nuh-uh. Don't wanna hear it, EC." She shoves a bottle into my hand, then gives me a good push until I step out of the door and down the three steps to the sand. "It's almost closing down time, anyway. We can handle it from here. You've been non-stop since silly o'clock this morning. Go chill out."

"Kelly—"

"Edward!"

Before I can finish arguing with Kelly, a familiar voice yells my name about three seconds before a small body slams into my legs. Peering down, I find Jaxson grinning at me. Like his cousin, he has icing smeared over his sun-flushed cheeks and around his smile.

"Hey, buddy," I chuckle, hesitating just as my hand rests on the top of his head. The bright smile he aims my way relaxes me, so I ruffle his mane of dark hair and remind myself to chill out.

He and his brothers have been by the restaurant with Renee a few times since they moved here, so I'm getting used to their personalities slowly but surely. Jaxson is the loud, never-sits-still one. Finley seems to be more quiet, more introspective. And Arlo is the confident, no-fear type.

"Momma said I'm not allowed to ask for fries, but if you offer some, that's okay," he says frankly, mischief lighting his eyes, and _there_ is the kid I've gotten to know.

"Well, all right then. What fries can I get you?"

"What's the options again?" He stands on his toes and squints at the blackboard. Again, I hesitate, but before I can take the board down for him to read, he taps my arm in a silent request to pick him up.

I don't know why I'm so nervous, but my heart thumps faster as I look around before lifting him up with an arm around his middle so he can read the chalk writing on the menu. The heavy, warm weight of him in my arms is foreign, but not unpleasant.

"What's brisket?"

"Beef. We cook it overnight with a bunch of different spices and flavorings, then we shred it all up in the morning and the sauce goes over the meat and the fries."

"Are they good?" He's already licking his lips, so I nod at Kelly and motion for her to drop some fries.

"Everything's good from this truck, buddy."

"Okay." Turning his attention to me, he cocks his head. "Do you want to come sit with us for a while? Momma and Papa and Nana have a whole basket of treats. Nana made pretzels with red, white, and blue icing!"

"That sounds good. I think Danny mentioned those."

Jaxson's smile widens. "Oh yeah. Aunt Angie put him on a ban 'cause he got a sugar rush."

"That sounds about right," I chuckle. I don't see Angela as much as I see Benjamin—not since she returned to her nine-to-five job and he quit his to be a stay-at-home dad—but I _do _know she can be a strict mom to her rambunctious son. Danny is his dad made over. Mischief and mayhem go hand in hand with that kid. He sure keeps her on her toes. I guess it doesn't help that, with Benjamin being his primary caregiver, he gets away with way more than Angela would let him.

Jaxson seems pretty comfortable with me holding him while he points to different things on the menu and asks me to explain what they are. He decides that he wants to try the pad thai fries next time, so I promise to talk his mom into bringing him by sometime soon. If she's not up for it, I can always bring takeout to Jaxson at Charlie and Renee's or wait until she brings them by next. She and Charlie often used to come in for lunch if they were at the hotel, but the boys are addicted to the Burger Co. shakes, so their once- or twice-weekly lunch dates have become more frequent, especially when they have the boys while Bella works.

Thoughts of Bella quickly have me feeling guilty. The last time I saw her, I was a jerk. There's no getting away from that. I lost my head and got carried away, then when I realized what I was doing, I pulled my usual trick and ran away. Figures. I frustrated even myself, so I can't imagine how she felt. However, I _can _guess. Her face is, and always has been, an open book.

Those big gray eyes of hers hide nothing. She didn't even try to disguise the disappointment on her face as she said goodnight and walked away from me. I watched her go, watched her walk all the way up the drive and let herself into the house. Unlike the times I've driven her home, she didn't look back. I waited until she was inside with the door shut behind her before shoving my hands in my pockets and turning toward home.

Holding her son as he thanks Kelly for his brisket fries and promises to share the other two portions she hands me to carry, I can't help but wonder how she'll react when she sees me. Nerves gnaw at my gut.

"We're right over there," Jaxson mumbles around a mouthful of fries, pointing with one hand while stuffing food into his mouth with the other.

"All right." After walking a few feet, I spot the Swans on the edge of the crowd. The town committee has done a great job of decorating the beach with colorful paper lanterns hanging from strings which are held up by white wooden posts. The strings make up a huge net, holding the round lanterns in the typical holiday colors of red, white, and blue. Families and friends have brought blankets, cushions, and camp chairs and set up on the sand ready for the fireworks display later on, once it's dark. I carefully wind my way through the crowd, unable to stifle my grin at the yummy noises Jaxson is making.

"These are _good_. I kinda don't wanna share with Finn and Arlo."

"Sorry, buddy, you've gotta. I don't think you'll be able to eat three portions of them all by yourself anyway."

He flashes me a mischievous grin and wipes some sauce from the tip of his nose. "Is that a bet? Nanny Jude says I've got hollow legs, you know."

"I don't doubt it," I tell him with a laugh and a shake of my head, nearing his family. Except, I don't see Bella...

"_There _you are!" Renee crows, spotting us just as we reach the edge of the big blanket she's sitting on. Charlie and Benjamin pause their conversation to say 'hi,' and Angela offers me a wave as she tosses a ball back and forth with Danny. I assume Rosalie and Everly are around here somewhere, but I can't see them. "Your momma is looking for you, Ja—"

"Jaxson Lane Swan, what have I told you about running off? Christ, kiddo. I was worried!"

_Here goes nothin'._

Turning, I plaster what I _hope _is an apologetic smile on my face. It immediately slips a little when I get a good look at her.

Like most people here, she's gone for typical beach attire in bright scarlet. Her bikini has scalloped edges; it comes up high on her waist and reasonably low on her breasts, showing off her delicious curves. It's almost impossible to divert my eyes from her body and all the skin left exposed.

Having her six-year-old in my arms helps.

"Bella."

Her expression softens, which isn't what I expected. If she's surprised that I'm holding her son, she doesn't show it. She just looks amused, if anything. "Hey, Edward."

"I was with Edward, Momma," Jaxson says, wiping his face with the back of his arm. "He gave us some brisket fries. They're so good, you gotta try 'em."

Quirking her brow at him, she pops her hip and crosses her arms.

_Not helping keep my eyes on your face, Bella. Christ._

"What did I say about—"

"I didn't ask!" he interjects before she can tell him off. "Edward offered. Right, Edward?"

"Right," I agree, just about managing to withhold my smirk.

Bella eyes me shrewdly, obviously trying to work out if I'm bullshitting or not, before we're both distracted by little hands tugging at the bag in my hand.

"Please can I try some, Edward?" Arlo asks, rolling out the puppy dog eyes. Gulping hard—_he almost looks like…_—I nod, handing them over as Jaxson wriggles to get down and joins his brothers on the nearest blanket.

"Share, boys," Bella tells them firmly with a sigh, stepping closer to watch them tuck into their food with obvious enthusiasm.

It doesn't escape my notice that I'm far more aware of her presence than I should be as she stands at my side, one of her arms brushing mine as she shifts her bare feet in the sand. No shoes. For some reason, that makes me smile.

"Are you having fun?"

"Yeah," she breathes. I can feel her gaze on the side of my face, but I can't bring myself to turn away from the boys. Their bright smiles, their giggles as they point out the sauce they're getting on their faces while they eat, their rosy cheeks... "Are _you_?"

I'm surprised when the automatic "yes" slips from my mouth. Although, I guess I _am _having fun. "Kelly kicked me out of the truck," I admit ruefully, rubbing the back of my neck.

Bella's lilting peals of laughter make my lips twist upward just a touch. "Why does that not surprise me? Come on, have a seat. There's plenty of room."

Lowering myself down onto a free corner of the huge plaid blanket Bella points to, I look around at all the people celebrating the holiday with their families. I can see the Samuels' nearby. Their little girl, Lakely, is making eyes at Arlo when I glance their way, so it doesn't surprise me a minute or two later when she sidles over and asks if he wants to go look for shells with her.

Beaming, Bella tells him to go once he's wiped his face clean. Jaxson and Finley decide to join them, and Danny abandons his ball game to run after his cousins, leaving just the adults to chat. I keep quiet, fairly content just to listen. As I expected, Rosalie and Everly _are _here. They wander over with to-go cups of what look like margaritas after a few minutes.

"None for me, thank you," Renee says, waving away her daughters. "I'm watching all the boys tonight."

"You don't need to do that, Mom. I don't feel like going out, anyway."

"Nonsense, honey. Go out with Rosalie, Everly, and Angela, let your hair down. You've been working so hard, you deserve a night out."

Eyeing her with curiosity, I can't help but ask, "Where are you ladies off to?"

Everly grins and twirls her straw between her fingers, cutting Bella off when she starts to say that she's happy to go straight home. "We're going to Blue. It won't be a massively late night, Bella. Live a little, have some fun. Let your hair down, like Mom said. It's not often we're all free to go out on the same night, after all…"

Groaning, Bella seems to accept that her mind has been made up for her and she's headed to the only bar here in town, Blue. The new owners refurbished it when they moved into the bay last year, and it's become a popular hangout. I've never been. "Fine. I'd better have one of those now then."

Rosalie, Everly, and Angela cheer as she takes a big gulp from the nearest cocktail, flashing me a small smile and rolling her eyes when the ladies are distracted by Benjamin asking his fiancée a question.

Edging closer, I wonder...and then I decide to go for it. She can always say 'no.' "Do you want me to give you a cover story?"

Raising an eyebrow at my whisper, she tells me to go for it.

Clearing my throat, I force my voice to sound somewhat casual but confused. "Uh, Bella, didn't you say you would help me at the restaurant? You know, because the guys there want to go out as they missed the parade and you said the boys would probably stay with your parents…"

Her smile bursts free for just a moment, but it's enough to make my own small smile widen. She's beautiful when she's happy. When the joy in her face reaches her eyes, all bets are off. She's truly stunning.

_How did I never notice that before? _

Guilt worms its way into my stomach as Bella lies and goes along with my story to her sisters, my own mind miles away. _That's right, because she was eighteen when she left here. A baby. And of course, the fact that she's your best friend's daughter._

Another part of my brain points out that she's still one of those things, she's still Charlie's daughter, even if she's now nearer thirty than twenty, but I'm noticing her more now. If Charlie could hear my thoughts, if he'd seen where my eyes lingered when I first saw her a few minutes ago, he'd kill me. Benjamin would probably help him.

A week ago, I'd have said Bella herself would be disgusted to know what I was thinking, but after the other night, I'm not so sure. There was no disguising the want in her eyes, in her movements. She was visibly disappointed when I cooled things down before the spark could turn into an inferno.

"Another time."

I tune back in time to hear Everly telling Bella that she's a killjoy and so am I. I happen to disagree, so I reach out and gently flick Everly's ear, guffawing when she turns around to face me with such a look of incredulity that everyone cracks up.

"Did you just _flick _me_?_"

"I might've." Unsure if I've overstepped my bounds, I chance a look at the faces around us.

Most of the Swans are laughing. Charlie is shaking his head while keeping an eye on his grandsons, but he makes a show of drawing a line across his neck just to show me what I have coming from his youngest daughter. Bella offers me a high-five, earning herself quite the stink-eye from Everly.

However, it's Renee's expression that makes me pause. She looks...contemplative? Her eyes are narrowed on me, her lips pursed.

Too distracted by Renee, I miss the attack coming my way until the cold registers. Everly's self-satisfied grin is at complete odds with the shock shooting through my veins. "Did you—_shit_, that's cold!"

Apparently unconcerned with their dwindling supply, Everly tosses the last of the ice cubes at me—the ones that bounced off me when she dumped the ice bucket over my head.

"That'll cost you, Ev…" I warn, peeling my shirt over my head when it quickly becomes damp and cold. Even with the heat of the evening, ice isn't pleasant on my skin.

"Shit!" She squeaks, scrambling backward on the sand. Before she can get out of reach, I wrap my fingers around her ankle and smirk, because I've known her since she was four years old.

I know that she's ticklish, and she knows I know it, too.

**~ oOo ~**

Not too much later, I find myself down by the shore with Arlo as he hunts for shells.

When he called me over, I figured it was just to show me something. I didn't realize he was expecting me to carry his stash while he carried on looking for others. As it is, my cupped hands are almost overflowing with shells of all shapes, colors, and sizes.

"Don't you think you have enough, buddy?"

Arlo shakes his head, glancing over his shoulder at me before continuing along the edge of the water. "Nope. I've gotta rebuild my old collection from home. Momma said I couldn't bring them all with me, so I left most of them for Nanny Jude. She's got 'em in a special jar we decorated so she can always remember me."

A lump lodges itself firmly in my throat. This kid. Actually, _these kids_. He and his brothers...they're something else. Spending this evening with the Swans has opened my eyes to their family dynamic. Things have shifted a bit with the addition of Bella and her boys. They seem complete now in a way they didn't before.

Crouching, I softly call Arlo back and wait until he's standing in front of me before huffing a breath through my nose. "I don't know, uh, Nanny Jude, but you've told me all about her, and do you know what I think?"

"What?" he asks, wrinkling his nose.

"I think she probably misses you a whole lot, and I'm sure there's no way she'll ever forget you, shells or no shells. Okay?"

Arlo offers me a silly grin, shrugging and brushing some of his wild hair away from his face, before taking off to resume his hunt for shells with a content smile whenever he runs back to add to his new collection.

As I look around and find myself feeling comfortable with the company I'm in, I realize that Bella, Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo round out the family like a puzzle piece that's been missing and was just found under a sofa cushion. Danny has some buddies a similar age to play with. Rosalie and Everly have their third amigo—they dressed as the Three Amigos for Halloween for five years running when they were kids. Benjamin has all his little sisters in one place, and Angela has another mom friend who can relate to being a parent of a hyper little boy. Or, in Bella's case, _three _hyper little boys.

When Renee watches the boys, she often stops by Burger Co. to get them milkshakes on their way to the beach. They're getting more confident with me, asking questions and cheekily requesting extra toppings. They're all a lot like Bella as a child, particularly Finley. Jaxson and Arlo are wild dudes with more than enough character to compensate for their brother's shyness.

He seems to be the typical middle child. He's content to watch his brothers cause mayhem the majority of the time, only joining in occasionally. Shortly before the fireworks are due to begin, when Jaxson, Arlo, and Danny wind up being banned from the treats for going crazy with Renee's homemade candy, Finley plucks an icing-topped pretzel from the basket and sits himself between his mom's legs to enjoy it. He's calm and chilled out, flashing me a shy smile when I ask him to hand me a pretzel rather than reaching over him.

"Here you go. The cupcakes are good, too. Momma helped Nana make those."

Bella runs her fingers through his hair, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

Forcing a smile, I make myself chew the pretzel even though my sense of taste and enjoyment of food has deserted me.

Once, I would have grinned at the sight of a parent fussing over her son. I would have admired it.

_But that was before._

Now, it makes my stomach knot and my heart thump.

The sudden, high-pitched screech of a firework being set off distracts me from my morose train of thought before it can really take hold.

The navy sky is illuminated with sprays of every color in the rainbow as firework after firework shoots up into the atmosphere. Somewhere further down the beach, Mr. McCready—the janitor at Bay High—is setting them all off. It's a great display. The pops, fizzes, and bangs are accompanied by the gasps and cheers of the onlookers. Looking around, I see the faces of people I've known for years lit by the myriad of colors exploding above us. There are smiles everywhere I look, loving couples at almost every turn, and captivated children on the laps of their parents.

My eyes shift to Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo in turn. Finley is still right by his mom, his brothers on their knees as they excitedly point to each new splash of color as it appears. My lips curl up on one side. Rubbing my jaw, I feel a familiar burn at the back of my eyes.

_She always loved the Fourth of July._

Looking back up at the sky, I wonder if she can see them now. I wonder if she can hear the sounds that used to make her squeal and bounce on my shoulders.

"_Look! Look at the boo one!"_

Soft and warm, the hand sliding on top of my clenched fist makes me gasp, pulling me from my memories.

Bella's eyes shine multi-colored, reflecting the pyrotechnics, as she squeezes my hand and offers me her understanding and comfort. I hesitate for maybe a couple of seconds, loosening my fist and twining our fingers together just as nerves begin to shine through her gaze. She turns back to the display, holding her son to her chest, and instead of joining her, I watch something far more captivating.

Her.

* * *

**If you haven't already, come join the TFMU Twific Meetup group on Facebook! A big group of us are meeting in Austin, Texas, in June 2020 and I'd love to see you there if you can make it! A little bunch of us are travelling over from the UK, and I think for at least a few of us, it'll be our first time. Everybody is welcome whether you're a reader, writer, beta, banner maker...we want to see you all!**

**As always, huge thanks to my wonderful team of ladies who call me on my bull and point out when I'm being too liberal with my 'it's fiction' excuse. **annaharding, LizziePaige, ThatSoAlex, Anakinsmom, **and** LadyLoonie, **I love you all dearly.**

**And I love each and every one of you who reads, reviews, and recommends this little tale of mine. Come friend me on Facebook - Ciara Shayee Hill - to chit chat with me and see the visuals I create to go with each chapter.**


	12. Chapter 12 - Bella

**We hit 400 reviews today. I mean...yeah. Wow! ****I won't ramble on for ages even though I could write a whole book on how much I love all of you wonderful people. I'll settle for saying 'enjoy your bonus chapter and please fasten your seatbelts.'**

* * *

**Chapter Twelve**

**Bella**

Seeing my boys' faces light up with delight as they watch the fireworks...it's unreal.

They've seen them back in England, of course—at the annual airshow, at the New Year display, on Halloween, Guy Fawkes Night...plenty of times.

It's having them here, on the beach where I spent my childhood, celebrating a holiday that has always been a big family occasion they've missed out on thus far, that makes it so special.

It's only as I watch Arlo bounce between my mom and dad with excitement that I catch a glimpse of Edward's face and my heart falls to my feet.

I get to see my children enjoy this wonderful show, but he doesn't.

Reaching out to hold his hand was an impulse, but I'm so glad I did it. The grateful smile and hard squeeze he gave me in return made the moment of nerves before he loosened his hand and took mine worthwhile.

"Did you see that, Mom? That was so cool!" Jaxson crows, leaping on top of me and his brother in his excitement.

"I did see, kiddo," I laugh, pulling him to me and planting a loud kiss on his cheek. Edward slips his hand out of mine, a tiny smile on his lips as he watches the boys jump all over me. For a moment, before the boys recapture my focus, I feel bereft. My hand feels cold. "Did you like it?"

"It was awesome, Momma!"

Arlo and Finley wholeheartedly agree, but it's not just them—around us, everybody is talking about how spectacular the display was.

"Oh, wow," Mom breathes, leaning against Dad's chest. "That was so well done!"

"It really was," Rosalie says, tapping away on her phone. No doubt she was taking photos to post on the social media pages for Swan's Nest.

"Did you like the fireworks, Edward?" Arlo asks, bouncing right onto Edward's lap.

Any worry I might have had about my boy being too much for him evaporates the second Edward grins and tugs Arlo in for a gentle noogie. "It would have been better without your big noggin' bouncing all around the place, blocking my view."

Arlo cackles, squirming and wriggling in Edward's lap until he manages to get himself free. "Hey, no fair! You're bigger than me!"

"That's because he eats all his vegetables," I say seriously, only just able to stop myself smiling.

"Blergh. Vegetables." Arlo shudders theatrically, but he can't contain his cheeky smile for love nor money.

We all remain on the beach for a while longer. Eventually, the long day, all the sugar and excitement, and the late night catch up to the boys—mine and my brother's.

"No," Danny snaps, pulling away from Angela as she tries to wrestle his arms into his zip-up sweater. "I don't wanna go home."

"Daniel Benjamin Swan, so help me...it's late, it's way past your bedtime, and everybody else is going home now, anyway. Look around you. If you don't quit this nonsense, you won't get to go have a sleepover with Nana, Papa, and your cousins."

She's right. All around us, people are starting to pack up their picnics and start the trek up the beach toward The Boardwalk and the parking lot. Still, her being right isn't enough to appease Danny. I wince, sympathetic to Angela's plight as he immediately takes his sweater off when Angela turns to grab her purse.

"We don't have to go, do we, Momma?" Arlo asks, puppy dog eyes in full swing.

"We sure do, kiddo."

Mom has been busy packing everything up, but she pauses to crouch and give Arlo a hug. "Do you want to come home with me? I bet we could talk Papa into letting us use the big bath."

That's the clincher for my boys, the jacuzzi tub in Mom and Dad's bathroom. Danny, however, isn't sold. By the time we've all pulled on jackets to ward off the chill creeping in off the ocean, he's given up the whining and turned to wailing and kicking, the latter of which was a phase of Jaxson's that I really don't miss. For a year or so, whenever he was upset, his feet would fly. To say it was a stressful nightmare for all involved would be a massive understatement. He must have spent an hour or more a day on the damn naughty chair until he finally got past it and my sanity returned.

The walk to Mom and Dad's house from the beach doesn't take long, thirty or so minutes at most, but it's in a different direction than Burger Co. So is Blue, so Rosalie and Everly give out hugs before trotting off toward the bar, arm-in-arm. With Danny still kicking, Angela decides to just head home.

Eyeing Edward, I motion to the boys so he knows I'm just going to say my goodnights before we head to the restaurant. With a nod and a smile, he tells me he's going to check on the truck before we go. "I'll meet you back here in a minute."

"All right," I murmur, unable to resist watching his strong back and broad shoulders as he walks away from us after saying a blanket 'goodnight' to everybody. The girly sigh that escapes me is completely unintentional—and thankfully goes unnoticed. "Okay, boys, come give Momma hugs."

"Are you comin' home later?" Finley wonders, all three of them piling in for a group hug.

"In just a little bit, kiddo. I'll come and kiss you all goodnight when I get home, okay?"

"'Kay." Whispering, he adds, "Do you think Nana or Papa will read us a bedtime story?"

Widening my eyes, I catch Dad grinning over Finley's shoulder. "Are you kidding? Papa does the best voices for bedtime stories. He's even better than me. I bet he'll read you one or two stories if you behave and ask him super nicely."

If you aren't asleep before your head hits the pillow, that is. Danny isn't the only tired little boy here. All three of my sons are nursing drooping eyelids and yawning their little heads off. They'll fight it until they drop, which will probably happen approximately five seconds after Mom and Dad have them out of the bath.

After 'I love you's and kisses, the boys head off with Mom and Dad. Benjamin ends up carrying Danny, whose noise has died down to a dull roar. I wouldn't be surprised if he isn't out like a light before they even make it home, bless his heart. Not for the first time, I'm reminded of how like his dad he is. Benjamin always had a fiery temper when he was a kid. I remember because I was his year-younger sister who occasionally took the brunt of said temper.

Looking over my shoulder, presumably at Edward by the truck, Mom pulls me into a hug. "If you need a ride home just call me or your dad, okay?"

"I will, Momma, but I'll be fine."

Pulling back, she offers me a smile. "I know. I'm sure Edward will look after you."

I sure hope so.

Biting my lip, I hope the dim lighting makes it hard for Mom to see my flushed cheeks. If she does see the rosy tint, I hope she doesn't think too hard on why saying 'Edward will look after you' might elicit that reaction in me.

"Of course."

"All right. Well, we'll see you in the morning."

"Night, Mom. Thanks for taking the boys."

"You know we love having them." Wistfulness steals over her face. "We're soaking them up as much as we can before you move out."

"Mom…" Groaning, I run a hand through my hair and tug my denim jacket tighter around me. Along with the jacket, the lightweight shorts I pulled on earlier keep me plenty warm, but the heat that spreads through me when a large hand comes to rest at the small of my back turns my blood into lava.

"You ready to go?" Edward's breath whispers over the back of my neck, a shiver rippling down my spine.

"S-sure!" Ignoring the odd look Mom shoots me, I flash Edward a smile and hope to heck that my voice isn't as shrill in reality as it sounded in my head.

"Thanks for letting me join you, Rae."

"Any time, EC, honey." Looking between the two of us, Mom's smile widens. She glances over her shoulder at Dad with the boys, then sighs. "All right, I'll let you kids get on. That restaurant won't put itself to bed."

She, Dad, and the boys wave as they head off with Benjamin, Angela, and Danny in tow. I blow out a long breath, chancing a glance up at Edward only to find that he's already looking at me. His eyes shine in the low glow of the lanterns and the streetlights a few feet away. I've always thought he had the prettiest eyes I've ever seen on a guy. They're a bunch of different shades of green, fluctuating depending on his mood and the lighting. And his eyelashes...damn. I know girls who'd kill for lashes as long and thick as his.

The first time I realized my friendship with Edward might actually be a crush, I was fifteen. Carlie was head over heels for her boyfriend—the man she'd eventually marry, have a child with, and divorce—and spent every last second doodling her future surname on every possible surface. One day, while lost in my daydreams while the most boring algebra teacher in the world droned on at the front of the class, I caught myself absentmindedly doodling 'Mrs. Cullen' across the bottom of my workbook cover.

By the time I was eighteen and leaving for England, every crooked Edward Cullen smile made me blush crimson and giggle like the lovesick fool I'd turned into.

Of course, the little issue of him being Dad's best friend and having a wife and child was a major buzzkill. Still, it didn't stop me dreaming.

He used to smile a lot back then, though. Now...not so much, and when he does, they aren't the same heart-stopping grins he used to wear almost 24/7. They're small and half-hearted. Almost like he finds it hard work.

"Shall we?"

"Sure."

~ oOo ~

"See ya later boss. Bye, Bella!" Jones calls, waving as he heads out the front door of Burger Co. with Lily and TJ.

"Bye, man. Enjoy the rest of your night. Thanks for manning this place."

Jones waves like it was nothing, then we're alone. Swinging my feet, I smile and twist my glass between my hands.

"Can I get you a refill?"

"Please." Grinning, I hand over my glass. "I'm getting a weird kind of deja vu, you know."

Edward snorts, pouring me a refill from the pitcher of spiked lemonade on the bar. It's Mom's recipe—homemade lemonade with vodka-soaked slices of lemon. It's pretty tame, but the slight tang of alcohol adds another delicious note to the drink. "The roles were reversed last time we were here, if I remember rightly."

"That's true." My good mood sours just a little as I remember how our previous night like this went south. A gentle, warm touch under my chin makes me gasp. Lifting my gaze, I find Edward fixing me with an apologetic stare.

"Hey, I'm sorry. For being an ass."

Pursing my lips, I unsuccessfully fight a smile.

"What? What's funny?"

"You were an ass," I admit easily. His brows furrow. "It's okay. I'll forgive you if you get me a slice of that Oreo cheesecake Jones was just raving about."

Edward chuckles and nods, handing over my drink. "That sounds like something I can do. I'll be right back." Nodding at the sound system behind the bar, he tells me to pick something to play while he grabs dessert. While he's in the kitchen, I sync my phone up to the speakers using the password taped to the side, then pull up one of the automatically generated playlists. I figure 'Chilled Acoustic' works just fine for two friends having a drink together.

"Aw, man…" I almost drool when Edward reappears just as I sit back down at the bar, and for once, it's not the man eliciting the drool, it's what's in his hands.

"Oreo cheesecake for the lady, and chocolate fudge cake for me," he says, setting the plates down on the counter before sitting himself on the stool beside me.

"Oh, wow, Edward. They both look amazing!"

The slightly smug smile on his face makes me smile. He's good, and he knows it. It's sexy to see a man be so confident in himself and his talents, not that Edward needs any help being more attractive to me. I should have learned my lesson after last time we were both here like this. Being alone with Edward is not a good idea for me. Everything about him is a draw, from his bicep-hugging tee to the uncharacteristically bashful smile he shoots me now.

Scooping some of the cheesecake onto my spoon and savoring it on my tongue, I feel my cheeks blazing when I accidentally release an embarrassingly loud moan. It's that good.

"Is, uh…" Edward mutters gruffly, raking a hand through his hair. "Is it okay?"

Is he…

When he glances at me, I get a glimpse of the look in his eyes and a frisson of heat ignites in the pit of my stomach.

"It's delicious," I manage to murmur, my eyes glued to his. The cheesecake is delicious, but I can't help but think he'd be even more so.

"Good."

"Are you, um...are you going to eat yours?" I ask a few mouthfuls later, when he's still watching me and hasn't made a move to touch his own dessert. It's difficult not to laugh at the adorable tint of pink that colors the tips of his ears as he nods and pulls his plate toward him too fast, his spoon flying onto the floor.

"I'll get it," I offer, slipping off my stool. A long-forgotten part of myself, a confident, pre-mom version of me, rears her head, a wicked smile curling my mouth up as I turn away from Edward and take my sweet time bending over at the waist to pick up the spoon. A quiet, but still audible, huff of breath is my reward, and when I turn, Edward's tense jaw and blazing gaze is enough to give me the confidence to do something I've dreamed of since I was sixteen years old.

Harnessing every bit of bravery in my body, I set the spoon on the counter and step closer to Edward, holding my breath as my eyes slip shut and I lean in. His lips are softer than expected under my own as I apply a little pressure to test the waters, his beard coarse but unexpectedly pleasurable against my skin as I will him to respond, kissing him gently once, twice, three times.

Please, Edward...

My wish is granted just as disappointment, nerves, and embarrassment get the better of me. Pulling back with an apology on the tip of my tongue, I only get a breath away before Edward's large hands land on my waist to tug me between his legs, his lips finding mine and coaxing them into the most maddening, intoxicating kiss of my life. A groan rumbles from his chest when my hands reach up, one tangling itself in his hair, the other resting on his solid thigh.

All the air rushes from the room, the atmosphere electric, his scent flooding my senses; citrus and sandalwood and something inherently Edward I can't put a name to.

Stretching up on my tiptoes to reach him isn't easy though, and I guess leaning down to me isn't comfortable for him either. I gasp as he uses his grip on me to lift me into the air. I squeak and grab his shoulders to steady myself as my feet find purchase on the stool footrest, putting us face to face.

His dark jade eyes capture mine, and I can't take it. I need to taste him again, so I do. When his tongue slips against my lower lip, begging for entry, I can't refuse him. I won't ever refuse him. As our tongues sweep against each other for the first time, I feel my grip on reality floating away from me.

This can't be real.

"Bella…"

Except it is. He groans my name under his breath as I twist my fingers into the soft hair at his nape, the others gripping the fabric of his tee. His muscles are firm under my hand and against my chest, his obvious strength as much of a turn on as his drugging kisses and the almost primal sounds he's making. With his firm thighs bracing my legs, his hands begin to roam. One slides down to cup my ass; the other skates up my spine to cup the back of my neck. Electricity hums between us, heat pooling in my belly as he uses the hand on my ass to pull me closer still.

The music is drowned out by breathy moans, whispered pleas, and the squeak of the stool protesting our combined weight.

With just flimsy cotton and his board shorts between us, there's nothing to stop me from feeling the hard length of him against me. Melting, I grip his hair and shoulder tighter, pressing against him in all the places that feel good. His hold on me helps, his movements just as desperate.

We're a writhing mess of lips, hands, and heat. It's so much more than I ever imagined.

So much more, so much better, just so much. It's overwhelming but I can't stop—won't stop.

His kisses set me on fire, his touch raising goosebumps all over my body.

"Edward, I need…"

"What, Bella? What do you need? Tell me." Leaving my lips, he presses hot, wet kisses over my jaw, to my ear, down my neck. Sucking lightly on my collarbone, he promises to give it, whatever I want, to me.

"You…" I finally pant, holding his mouth to me with my fingers woven between the strands of his copper hair. "Please, please, I need you."

For a brief, heart-stopping moment, I think he's ending it. He lifts me away from him, my legs wobbling as my feet hit the floor. Before I can say a word, he's lifting me again—over his shoulder, this time.

"Edward!" I yelp, clinging onto him as surprised giggles spill free.

Lightly swatting my butt, he strides across the room toward the door that leads upstairs. I've never been up there, but I know there's some kind of apartment. It's where Kelly lives, though, so I'm confused when he goes straight through and marches up the stairs with me still slung over his shoulder like I weigh nothing.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

When we get to the top of the stairs, I realize there's two doors. We go into the one on the right. Edward doesn't bother pausing to switch on any lights, he just moves through the dark room like he knows it well. I assume he does, seeing as he obviously owns it, but my eyes don't adjust in time to figure out what this room is before I'm being tossed down onto a—thankfully soft—bed.

"Oh…" The low glow of the moon streaming through the windows beside the bed helps me get my bearings as my eyes adjust. We're in some kind of studio apartment. I just about make out a tiny kitchen behind Edward before he recaptures my attention by stripping his shirt off without any hesitation.

To be fair, if I looked half as good as he does with his shirt off, I'd be pretty happy to strip off, too.

He's broad, muscular, and his chest is dusted with fine, dark hair. I've always liked a bit of body hair on my guys. Without any kind of preamble, his cargo shorts are unbuttoned and dropped to the floor. In just his briefs, standing proud at the foot of the bed with the moonlight illuminating the dips and ridges of his defined torso, he's more handsome now than he's ever been before.

My lips tingle; one of my hands unconsciously lifts to touch them. His eyes follow the movement and his mouth curls up into a small grin. "You're overdressed, Bella," he murmurs, the want in his voice my undoing.

As I sit up and reach for the hem of my tee, thankful that I ditched my jacket when we got to Burger Co. earlier, I hesitate. I've had three kids; my body isn't what it used to be. I have stretch marks and a less toned stomach than I'd like.

"Hey." My eyes lift to Edward's face as he kneels on the bed before crawling up to rest on his haunches over my shins. The sight of him, crawling toward me, makes my head swim. His hand reaches out, his thumb resting under my chin. "So beautiful." If the look in his eyes hadn't been enough to convince me, the conviction in his words would have.

He believes that I'm beautiful. Whether I do or not, he believes it. It gives me the confidence to smile shakily and lift the tee up and over my head, tossing it over the side of the bed. His eyes drift down, his jaw tensing as he takes me in. For the first time in years, I feel truly desired. His heated gaze drinks me in like a parched man wandering the desert.

"Christ, Bella. Look at you." Gently, he urges me to lay back. Curious and at his mercy, I let him guide me onto my back, watching as he bites his lip and blows out a breath before shooting me a wicked smirk and scooting back so he can lower his face to my stomach. My eyes are glued to him. I'm utterly incapable of looking away.

As he trails hot kisses from hip to hip, as he nibbles me at the curve of my waist, as he runs the tip of his nose up the center of my torso before coming to a stop between my breasts...

My breath comes faster, my need for him only heightening.

You're sin, you know that?

That's what he told me a few days ago, but he was wrong. So wrong.

He's sin. Pure, primal, panty-destroying sin.

When Edward drops an open-mouthed, lingering kiss on the swell of one breast, I realize not all of the noises I can hear are coming from him. A moan rushes from my lips, his greedy hands growing bolder. One holds me steady at my hip, anchoring me to the bed, to this moment. The other glides up, hesitating for barely a second, before cupping my breast. When I groan, arching into his touch, he chuckles and tugs the cup of my swimsuit top down, his lips taking its place.

Oh, God.

It's never been this good. Never, ever, and he's barely done anything.

"That's a damn shame," Edward mumbles against my skin, making me realize that I spoke out loud. After pulling the opposite side of my top down to expose my other breast and give it the same attention, he glances up at me with fiery jade eyes. "Can I take your shorts off, Bella?"

"Yes," I all but pant, my entire body a livewire connected to the energy his body is generating. My chest heaves with a shaky breath as he kneels back and takes his time sliding my shorts down my legs, his thumbs rubbing circles on my skin as he goes. When they're finally off, thrown somewhere behind him, he takes a moment to drink me in.

With just our underwear between us, there's no hiding the bulge in his briefs. Swallowing hard, I take a moment just to drink him in. He drops down over me with a groan that turns me to mush, then steals another bone-melting kiss and makes sure I can feel every delicious inch of him right where I want it. My hands can't decide where to rest—his shoulders, his back, his ass. They finally settle on his back when his dick rubs against my clit just right and sends pleasure shooting through me, my nails raking over his shoulder blades to elicit a guttural moan that has the ache in my core becoming impossible to ignore.

"Edward, enough." He freezes, his hot breath fanning over my face. "I mean, enough teasing. Please, tell me you want this—"

"I want you," he interrupts, leaning up on one bended elbow. His grimace confuses me, though. "I don't have any protection."

Nerves flutter through my veins even as desire rages within me. "I get the shot, and I got tested after I separated from the boys' dad…"

Edward's brows furrow, but I can see the want, the hope. I can't deny that the idea of having Edward without any barriers is a heady one.

"If you tell me you're clean, I'll believe you. I trust you, Edward," I tell him, cupping his beard-covered jaw.

"Fuck. I'm good, Bella."

Shifting a little, I get us lined up and arch upward. It breaks him. His restraint shatters. The snap is a mumbled curse, my surrender a gasp as he gives a lazy thrust before lifting himself up.

Before I know it, my bikini bottoms and his briefs are off, gone. On the floor with the rest of our forgotten clothes. I barely have a chance to catch my breath before Edward is back, his chest to mine, his hard dick right there. I'd be embarrassed by how turned on I am if I couldn't see the way his jaw ticks as he slides himself through my wetness before pausing with just the tip of his erection pressing against my entrance.

"Tell me if I hurt you. I'm...you already feel too good."

Enough talking.

With one shift of my hips, Edward is buried deep within me. He releases an animalistic growl and buries his face in my neck as he rocks jerkily into me, his hands gripping my waist as he holds himself up above me. "Christ, Bella." His gravelly voice spurs me on.

"Kiss me," I beg, panting the words into his hair. He's so big, and it's been a while. The sting of feeling so full flips a switch in me. I'm desperate. I can't get close enough, clawing at him, breathing him in, begging him for more, harder, faster.

Lifting his head, Edward's lips crash against mine in a messy kiss full of need and passion. It's pure fire and the dissolution of any leftover restraint. He's everywhere; over, around, and within me.

Every thrust pushes a gasp from my lips until I'm breathless and shoving his chest to get him to roll over. The darkening of his eyes tells me he's not opposed, so I straddle his hips and flip my hair back over my shoulder as I give him a few slow passes of my hand around his dick before slowly sliding down until he's all in.

We both groan, our hands free to roam wherever they please in this position.

The energy in the room is electric, my orgasm barrelling toward me faster than ever before. I need a release, but I don't want to stop. Furrowing his brows, he uses one hand to help keep my faltering rhythm steady. The other drifts down over my belly to my clit.

"Oh, shit, Edward."

It's the perfect torture. I'm chasing that high even as I pray for this to never end.

"I'm close, Bella," he grits out, redoubling his efforts when I tip my head back and grind my hips over his, the position allowing him to hit all the spots that make me cry out.

It only takes a few more moments of his touch and an unexpected, deliciously hard buck of his hips to set me off.

Falling forward, I let him catch me as I fall over the edge I'd been clinging to. I lose all sense of where I am for an endless moment, then I register the deep moan and the sound of my name ghosting over Edward's lips as he reaches his release. Gathering my wits just enough to swivel my hips, I breathe an airy laugh when he grips my waist and rumbles a curse.

"Too good. Fuck, Bella."

Twisting to move off him, I find myself smiling against Edward's chest when he gives me a squeeze. "Where do you think you're goin'?"

I might quickly become addicted to the gravelly, post-orgasm timbre of his voice.

"I don't want to squish you…" I whisper, not wanting to destroy the perfect atmosphere with my voice.

Edward scoffs, pressing a kiss to the top of my head before releasing a big, content sigh. "You weigh a buck-fifty soaking wet. If you're comfy, stay right there."

Squirming, I flush and sigh at the raised-eyebrow look he shoots me. "I need to clean up…"

Whoever said romance was dead, huh?

Blowing out a laugh through his nose, Edward lightly swats my ass before closing his eyes and smiling. "The bathroom is directly opposite the bed. I'll wait right here. Don't be too long…" His eyes snap open, unexpected vulnerability shining through. "Please."

"I'll be right back." I don't hesitate, leaning down to press a quick kiss to the tip of his nose before hopping off the bed and walking quickly to the door opposite the foot of the bed.

When I step back into the room after washing up, I can't help but pause in the doorway. Edward is right where I left him, bathed in moonlight and looking for all the world like something an artist would dream up.

"Are you just gonna stand there and stare all night?" he wonders aloud, an almost delirious giggle bubbling free as I bite my lip in a fruitless attempt to stifle my crazy-person smile.

"I don't know...the view is pretty great from here."

"I happen to agree, short stuff." He pauses, a soft chuckle warming the darkness. "Get your sweet ass over here, Bella."

* * *

***using a candy stick as a fake cigarette* So that happened. I'm never confident about writing anything of the lemony variety, but yeah. These two were burning up my keyboard and I know you guys were as ready for this as they were.**

**Next chapter: Wednesday or Thursday. I'm thinking of switching to a Wednesday and Sunday schedule so the gaps between chapters are more even.**

**If you haven't already, come join the TFMU Twific Meetup group on Facebook! A big group of us are meeting in Austin, Texas, in June 2020 and I'd love to see you there if you can make it! A little bunch of us are travelling over from the UK, and I think for at least a few of us, it'll be our first time. Everybody is welcome whether you're a reader, writer, beta, banner maker...we want to see you all!**

**As always, huge thanks to my wonderful team of ladies who call me on my bull and point out when I'm being too liberal with my 'it's fiction' excuse. **annaharding, LizziePaige, ThatSoAlex, Anakinsmom, **and** LadyLoonie, **I love you all dearly.**

**And I love each and every one of you who reads, reviews, and recommends this little tale of mine. Come friend me on Facebook - Ciara Shayee Hill - to chit chat with me and see the visuals I create to go with each chapter.**


	13. Chapter 13 - Edward

**Firstly, I'd like to say a huge thank you to almost everybody for being so unfailingly kind in your reviews. I'm not one to shy away from constructive criticism and I enjoy those reviews just as much as the super sweet ones. That said, if you have an issue with me or anything I post to go along with my stories, please feel free to shoot me a message here or on Facebook. Nitpicking GRs will just get deleted from now on.**

**Heavy note dealt with...**

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen**

_**Edward**_

In our eagerness to stumble into bed last night, neither of us remembered to close the drapes. The warmth of the sun shining through the windows wakes me. The next thing to register is shock.

I never sleep past sunrise.

Tightening my grip around Bella, I hum into her hair and make no effort to stifle the grin curling up against her shoulder. Every muscle aches, but it's a delicious agony as I shift at her back and feel myself stirring against her thigh.

"_Mmm, _good morning," Bella groans softly, arching her hips back into me.

Between lingering kisses against the soft skin joining her neck and shoulder, I wish I were still in my twenties. My mind is all for round..._three?_ Maybe four. But my traitorous body is protesting. My shoulder cracks as I adjust my hold and stroke light circles over her stomach with my thumb.

"How did you sleep?" I murmur, clearing my throat.

"Like a log." Twisting in my arms, she flashes me a still-sleepy grin, presses a closed-mouthed kiss on my lips, and snuggles up against my chest. The feeling of rightness is as comforting as it is unexpected, her slight body a perfect fit to mine. More so when she throws a leg over my waist and wiggles even closer, like she can't get close enough. I'm not complainin'. I've never been a cuddler, but this…

It's perfect.

"How did _you _sleep, handsome?"

"Like a log," I echo, glancing toward the clock. I'm more than a little stunned to see that it's past eight. "I haven't slept this late in years.

"I'm so glad Mom believed my story," she admits after a few minutes of comfortable silence. Her nails lightly scratch up and down my back; from my shoulder blades to the spot where my back meets my ass, and back up.

"Me, too."

Just as I was passing out after the best blowjob of my life, the beep of Bella's phone on the floor reminded us that her parents were expecting her home. Having to worry about parental expectations isn't something I've had to deal with for over twenty years. She managed to shoot off a text to Renee, explaining that she was staying in the apartment above the restaurant as the clean up had taken longer than expected and she was too tired to walk home. Thankfully, Renee seemed to buy it.

_Bella blows out a relieved sounding sigh, showing me the illuminated screen with Renee's message._

_**Okay, honey. Make sure Edward locks up behind himself when he leaves. Give me or Dad a call if you need a ride home in the morning xxx**_

"_Does that mean I get to keep you here?"_

_The rosy flush that steals over Bella's cheeks makes me wish I were twenty years younger and had heaps more stamina than I actually do. "It sure does, if you want me to stay?"_

_Instead of answering her out loud, I gently take the phone and set it on the floor, pulling her down against my chest so I can get one last taste of her sweet lips before I crash._

My arms instinctively tighten as she makes to move away, pulling me from a memory I already know I'll never want to forget. Her light, lilting laugh brightens the room and my mood more than the morning sun already has.

"I need to pee, dammit. Let me up."

I hesitate for a beat before pressing a quick kiss against her forehead, breathing her in. She smells like sex and sin all rolled into one. A gentle smile and the caress of her fingers through my beard are my very welcome thanks. Not to mention the stunning view of her naked back as she escapes my hold and sashays toward the bathroom. Propping myself up on one arm, I can't help but adjust myself through the sheet. She's all tan skin, flowing pink-purple hair, and curves in all the right places. There's the barest hint of nerves in her eyes as she glances back over her shoulder before shaking her head with a soft giggle and ducking out of sight, the door clicking shut behind her.

While she takes care of business, I shuffle up the bed a little to recline against the headboard with a sigh. I used to think of myself as a strong man—someone more than capable of handling emotions and wants. It's been a long time since I caved to anything, but giving into Bella last night wasn't something I could have resisted. I've tried. God knows I've tried. With her steel eyes and the taste of Oreo and something that I now know is inherently _Bella_ on her lips, there was no amount of self control on the planet strong enough to withstand the temptation she posed.

The guilt will come later, I'm sure. There's no ignoring the fact that Bella is the daughter of my best friends. She bulldozed right through my mantra and all the barriers I've spent years erecting, but I can't bring myself to regret a moment of the night we just spent together. At some point, I'll have to deal with the repercussions of caving to my desire, but not right now. Now, I can bask in the comfort Bella brings me.

The view out of the window isn't half as pretty as the one on the other side of the bathroom door, but it'll do. The sea rolls in calm undulations that make my eyes start to blur. I'm so hypnotized by the motion that I don't hear the door open.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Bella asks softly, leaning in the doorway without a stitch to cover her from my greedy gaze.

She makes my chest ache, she's so beautiful—inside and out. "They're not very interesting, trust me."

"I don't believe that for a second."

The heat in her eyes and flush spreading across her chest give me a very clear indication of where _her _thoughts have gone.

"You'll be the death of me," I laugh-groan. "I need to recuperate. I'm an old man."

Bella's laughter makes me grin ruefully. "You're not an old man, Edward." She crosses the room in a seductive saunter that makes a liar out of me. My body is very much _up _for the occasion. "And besides, haven't you heard?"

She's at the foot of the bed now, her body a scintillating distraction from her words as she kneels on the mattress at my feet.

"Heard what?" I mumble.

Her impish smile would be cute if it weren't for the sinful look in her steel gaze. "You're only as old as the woman you feel."

I hum a chuckle as she crawls up my body, her lips branding me everywhere they touch from just above my belly button, where the sheet ends, to my chest. It's a great view. Tucking my hands behind my head, my voice comes out in a low rumble. "Well, you better get up here so I can feel you up good and proper, then."

Smirking, she sings, "Sounds good to me. I'm all for helping the aged."

"_Oh, _you…"

There's no stifling the grin that takes over my face as I hoist Bella up to kneel over my stomach so I can tickle the snark right out of her. Everywhere my fingers roam, they find soft skin. My lips finally join in when she's breathlessly panting her surrender and trying to hide her face in my neck. Pressing a kiss to her temple, I slide one hand down to her ass. The other skims up her spine and buries itself in her hair.

"You're mean," she finally huffs, pulling back just enough to give me a cool stink-eye.

"You started it."

Eyes wide and mouth open, she shakes her head. "You did _not _just resort to kindergarten insults. I'd expect a man of your age to have better retorts than my four-year-old."

"_A man of my age…_"

Bella's lips curl up.

"I'll show you exactly what _a man of my age _has got."

She yelps as I quickly flip her over so she's pinned underneath me, the sheets tangled between us and her hair fanned out across the slate gray pillows. She's stunning. Beyond beautiful. I wish I knew more pretty words to describe her, because she's all of them.

_And all mine? I can only dream._

The faintest touch of her fingertips trailing over my cheek pulls me from my wistful thoughts. Refocusing, I lower myself to press her into the mattress and delight in the shudder that tears through her when I whisper all the filthy things _a man of my age _can do before giving her the live action demonstration.

**~ oOo ~**

"So."

"So," Bella parrots before snorting and twisting in her seat to face me better, a silly smile on her lips. Now I know what they taste like, it's almost impossible not to lean over and steal a kiss. The fact that any of her family members could be looking out of the windows at us right now puts a stop to that, though.

My stomach knots, a headache already setting in. I can see the moment she realizes my good mood is starting to wane. My mind is taking off at a sprint.

_Did we make a mistake? _

Instead of looking frustrated, she flashes me an understanding smile and reaches over to squeeze my thigh. "Thank you for last night…" Her eyes spark with mischief. "And this morning."

Despite myself, I bark a laugh and rake a hand through my hair as my ears heat up. It's a curse my brother was lucky enough to escape, but surprise or embarrassment often turns my ears pink.

"Seriously, though. I appreciate you getting me out of going to the bar last night. I love spending time with my sisters, but bars just aren't my scene, you know?"

"I get it," I tell her, because I really do. The thought of sitting in a noisy bar with music blaring and voices battling for dominance does absolutely nothing for the me of today.

The me of twenty years ago would have been in his element in that sort of setting. A lot has changed since then.

"All right, well…" Bella blows out a breath and grabs her jacket from the back seat. "I'll let you get on with your day. Thanks for...everything."

I want to thank her for giving me the best night I've had in years. I want to thank her for making me feel something other than loneliness for a blissful twelve hours. I want to tell her that I don't want her to go, that I want to squirrel her away and keep her to myself to see how long I can bask in the warmth she emanates.

But I don't.

"You're welcome. See you later, short stuff."

Giggling and shaking her head, Bella leaves me with a parting whiff of my shampoo mixed with her natural scent as she climbs out of the car and strolls up the porch steps.

My lips curl up of their own accord when she pauses before stepping inside, glancing over her shoulder and offering a little, almost shy, wave.

_Bye, Bella._

After dropping her off, I decide there's no use going home just yet. All I'll do is mope around. Instead, I turn the car back toward Burger Co., where I can throw myself into prep or hide in my office for a while.

In the time it took for me to drive Bella home, Jones has arrived for work. I can tell as soon as I walk through the front doors, because he has the Disney soundtrack blaring at full volume and I can hear him wailing along to one of the songs from the movie about the ice princess, whatever she's called. The little I do know about the movie is thanks to Garrett and Tanya's girls and the shopping list they hand me every Christmas so I know what to buy them.

"Holy fucking shit, EC! You scared the shit out of me!" Jones yells, temporarily muting the music when I announce my presence by 'accidentally' knocking the pans hanging on the drying rack. Honestly, I'm surprised he even heard it.

"Maybe you shouldn't have the volume up so loud then, huh?" Courtesy of Jones's Disney obsession, I know the tunes to most of the songs on this soundtrack. I hum along to the next one, although I couldn't name the movie it goes with.

Jones's eyes narrow as I copy the shopping list from the whiteboard onto my phone; from the corner of my eye, I watch him lower the potato he was peeling. "What's up with you? You're all…" he trails off, waving the potato in my direction. "Cheerful and shit."

My eyebrows lift. Silently, I wonder if it's a good idea, me being around him while my post-Bella good mood is apparently still obvious. He can be perceptive on a good day. When he thinks there's gossip to sniff out, he's downright dangerous, the nosy little shit.

"Am I not allowed to be in a good mood?"

"Sure, it just never happens. It's kind of creepy."

Snorting, I hang the whiteboard back on its hook and tuck my phone into my back pocket. "Do you want some help, or not?"

With such a busy day yesterday, not a lot got done around here. There's brisket to finish off, the pad thai sauce tub is almost empty, and if Jones is still working on the potatoes, those things aren't going to get done before we open for lunch in two hours. He could definitely do with the help.

Eyeing me with obvious suspicion, Jones concedes and tells me I can help but he's keeping his music on. I'm in too good a mood to let his choice of playlist bother me, so I shrug and grab my apron before getting stuck in as he cranks up the volume and belts out the opening words of the next song.

**~ oOo ~**

Surprisingly, I find myself enjoying the menial work with Jones and his ridiculous singing-dancing routines. It's been a while since I spent any real time working alongside him in the kitchen; it's fun. He's a good guy, a _funny _guy, and I'm reminded of why I keep him around.

When Lily and Kelly arrive in time to open up for lunch, we're more than caught up and taking a soda break in the yard.

"_Hello?"_

"Out here, Kell!"

_Kell_, I think with a smirk, hiding it behind my can. They're so obvious. I don't understand why they don't just admit they're together. It's blatantly clear to anyone who sees them together that they're not just friends.

My thoughts briefly turn to Bella. _Will people see us and know something's happened?_

"Oh, hey, you two." Kelly grins as she steps out into the sun with Lily on her heels. "Slacking on the job?"

"Hardly," Jones laughs. "We've smashed through the prep for lunch _and _dinner, so we're taking a well-earned break."

Lily looks between the two of us. "'We?' Since when do you come in for prep, EC?"

Frowning, I remind her that I always used to come in and help prep before retreating to my office. There's no use doing all the paperwork side of the business if people aren't able to come in and eat anything.

"Exactly. _Used to_." She grins. "It's nice to see you in the kitchen, is all. It makes a nice change."

With Kelly here now to help Jones in the kitchen, and Lily more than capable out front, I hang my apron on its hook and tell them to find me in my office if anything comes up. Their words play on my mind as I pay the outstanding bills and send an email to my accountant to arrange our quarterly meeting.

Am I really that bad at spending time in my own kitchen? I used to pride myself on being involved in the day to day running of my restaurant. It was one of my favorite things about owning Burger Co.—getting to see the customers enjoying the menu I designed, seeing my team working hard together.

Thinking about it, I can't remember the last time I spent the morning prepping with Jones. The night Bella helped out with the bachelor party was the first time in weeks that I spent more than a handful of minutes out front. It's disconcerting to acknowledge that my staff have noticed me pulling back.

The muffled beep of an incoming text distracts me from my increasingly self-flagellating thoughts. Pulling it out, I find myself grimacing.

_**1 new message - Mom**_

I can read the first line of the message at the top of the screen. Even just the handful of words I can see make my stomach knot.

_**Edward, we were so disappointed not to see you…**_

Deciding, in this case, that it's better to just rip the band aid off, I bypass the text and pull up my contacts instead. Before I can second-guess myself, I tap Mom's name and hit the 'call' button.

It only rings for a few moments. "_Edward, honey, we were expecting you to come in for the holiday._"

"Mom…" I can't help but sigh, tugging at my hair. "I told you, I can't just up and leave Burger Co. on one of our busiest days of the year. We cater the parade, you know that."

"_Oh, I know, it would just be nice to have you home with us._"

Utah hasn't been 'home' for a long time. She knows _that_, too. Apparently, knowledge and reason go out of the window when it gives her a chance to guilt me.

Awkward silence descends until I hear the faint sound of my dad's voice asking who she's talking to. "_It's Edward. Here, why don't you speak to him._" It's not a request, and it doesn't shock me.

She never knows what to say to me anymore.

"_Son, this is a nice surprise._"

"Hi, Dad."

"_How are you? How was your Fourth?_"

I've never been more grateful for my dad than I have been these last six years. Where my mom has become awkward and withdrawn, he still speaks to me the same way he always has. We shoot the shit for a few minutes, trading Fourth of July stories—my younger brother Jasper, his wife Alice, and their son Matty spent the holiday with Mom, Dad, and our grandparents.

I was missed, apparently.

Dad listens attentively as I tell him about the Burger Co. truck and how well it's doing, even with the added competition of the pizzeria right on the beach.

"_That's great, son. I'm proud of you. Have you thought any more about expanding?_"

It's a pleasant surprise that he remembers the conversation we had about my plans to expand Burger Co. and carry the brand over into sauces and spice mixes we could sell. It was a while ago and, honestly, I'd sort of forgotten about it myself.

"It's something I'm still thinking about, for sure."

"_Good._" The pride in his voice is more than a little disconcerting. I'm not used to hearing it.

Mom and Dad made no secret of the fact that they didn't want me to leave Utah to move here—much like Charlie and Renee didn't want Bella to travel to England. They spent my entire senior year trying to talk me out of it. They failed, of course, and in those first few years of living here, when I was setting up the house and getting Burger Co. up and running, they admitted that they were proud of what I was doing.

But that was before I wrecked everything.

I haven't done much to make them proud recently.

Dad clears his throat. "_Have you, uh, heard from Sulivan?"_

From his chagrined tone and the way he speaks a little quieter, I can pretty safely assume he Mom is still nearby and he hasn't heard from him, either. "No, not for a couple of months." Thinking back, I amend, "Actually he did send me a picture of himself wearing the tee I sent for his birthday."

"_I sent a gift, but I didn't hear anything back," _he admits.

That was June fifth, so a month ago. However, I'm not surprised that Sullivan hasn't contacted Dad in that time, to be honest. He's a good guy, my dad, but he puts Mom's emotions before everything—and everyone—else. That doesn't always make for the best decisions, especially where Sullivan is concerned

"_All right, well, I'll pass you back to your mom. I'm just on my way out to pick up Matty for a sleepover._ _But, Edward…_" He trails off. I hear his heavy sigh before he finishes with, "_Don't be a stranger, okay? It's really great to hear your voice._"

Guilt turns my stomach. "Sure thing, Dad. It's, uh, it's good to hear your voice, too."

"_All right. Here's your mom._"

"Thanks."

After some hushed murmuring that I can't quite make out, Mom comes back on the line. She has my back up immediately. "_Did your dad tell you who came over yesterday?_"

"Jas, Alice, Matty...Grandpa and Grandma…" I let my words fall away as my heart drops to my feet, because her faux-innocent tone can only mean one thing—one _person_.

"_Kate popped in with her mom and dad,_" she says cheerfully, as if mentioning that woman isn't something I've expressly asked her not to do a hundred times or more.

"Mom…" I grit out, my fist clenching around my phone to the point that it hurts.

"_She's got a new job. Apparently it brings her out to the east coast occasionally._"

"I'm not doing this with you again. Kate and I, we're never going to happen."

"_Oh, Edward, honey, I just_—"

I don't know why I even tried cutting her off. We've had this discussion many times. It always ends in a headache at best, a debilitating hangover the following day at worst.

"I mean it. If you want to talk about Kate, I'm hanging up the phone right now. Your choice."

When her next sentence starts with 'But wouldn't it be nice to see her again?' I know exactly how today is going to end, so I tell her goodbye and hang up the phone, as promised.

She probably hasn't even put her phone down before I'm pouring myself a bourbon from the bottle I keep in my desk drawer.

**~ oOo ~**

It isn't until Saturday morning that I see Bella again.

After letting myself into Charlie and Renee's house, as ordered in the invite I was texted yesterday, I set my dish of French toast on the counter and find everybody out back. As usual at a Swan brunch, most people are in swimwear—including Bella, much to my combined delight and frustration.

Now I know what's under that bikini, it seems almost sacrilegious to keep it covered.

"Edward! Hi, sweetheart."

Renee appears out of nowhere, linking her arm through mine. "Hi, Rae. How are you?"

"Good, good. I have all my family around me and it's a beautiful day already. What's not to like?"

Catching Bella's gaze as she shoots me a wink over her mom's shoulder, I can't help but agree.

It doesn't take very long for the boys to talk me into refereeing their Noodle Races. Leaving my shirt on the back of a chair, I saunter over to where their current—apparently retiring—referee is sitting.

"Good morning, handsome," Little Grandma sings, giggling when my ears immediately heat up. "You're too cute, EC."

"Uh, thanks, Little Grandma." Her smile widens at my use of her favored moniker. I learned my lesson early on that calling her anything other than 'Little Grandma' would earn me the stink-eye and a clip around the ear if I was within her reach. "How are you? Is Freddie still looking after you?"

Her hazel eyes flash with mischief as she lets me help her to her feet. "He has his uses, my dear."

"Oh, God." Bella saves me with a theatrical groan, looping an arm around her grandma's middle. "Are you corrupting Edward, Little Grandma?"

"Of course not! Would I do such a thing?"

"_Yes_," Bella tells her with a laugh that makes my lips curl up of their own accord. "You would." Looking over her shoulder at the patio, where the rest of the adults are gathered, Bella tells her Grandpa Freddie to keep a leash on his wife.

"No use, Bella love. She'd enjoy it too much!" he calls back, much to the disgust of his family.

"Christ, Grandpa," Benjamin groans, shaking his head.

Little Grandma heads over to her husband, laying one on him before sitting herself in one of the free seats.

Bella pulls my attention back to her with a quiet hum. She heats my blood with just a look, her eyes shamelessly roaming over me. For the first time in years, I'm glad I stuck to my running regime and kept the weights in my garage. I may be a couple years shy of forty, but I know I'm in good shape.

"Cut it out, short stuff. There are kids present, and looking at me like _that _is a surefire way to make sure they all end up as corrupted as I am after watching your grandparents' little display."

Her light burst of laughter draws a little attention, not that she looks bothered in the slightest as she drops herself down on the edge of the pool, dangling her legs in the water. "Come on, Edward. It's your turn to referee. I should warn you, they all cheat."

"Do not!" Jaxson, Finley, Arlo, and Danny chorus as one; their cheeky as hell smirks say otherwise.

"All right, you little yahoos. Starting positions. And you should know, I'm a hardass and I'll be watching you all carefully. Cheaters don't win on my watch, got it?" I tease, trying to look stern even though I'm distracted as shit by the view Bella's seated position gives me. I can see right down her top.

Board shorts and boners don't mix well, so I definitely need to concentrate on something else.

_Remembering Freddie's comments about Little Grandma should do it._

After three races, I see what Bella means about the boys. They're little cheaters. Danny is by far the worst, but Jaxson is a close second. As punishment, I make them take a two second penalty at the side of the pool every time I catch them tugging their opponent back or splashing them so they can't see. They still cheat, they just get sneakier about it. They have both me and Bella in stitches at their antics, and I can't help but marvel over how relaxed I feel.

By the time Renee and Angela call us to eat, the boys look like drowned rats and Bella and I aren't much better. With the amount of splashing the boys did, we might as well have been in the damn water with them.

"No running, boys!" Renee warns, smiling when they all slow to a brisk walk to fight for the chairs closest to the food.

There's no stifling my grin when they bypass everything on the table but the french toast I brought over.

"Thank EC for the French toast, boys," Angela says, shaking her head with a fond smile aimed at her son as he rolls his eyes at her reminder to eat some fruit, too.

"Thank you, EC!" he crows, tucking in.

Around the table, everybody seems to be enjoying the spread. My toast goes down a treat, as usual. It's one of my favorite breakfast foods to make. It's also Everly's, so I grin as she piles her plate high and flashes me two thumbs up and a beaming smile.

"This looks great, EC," she says, almost inhaling her food.

"I don't know how you don't sink every time you get in the water, the amount of food you eat," Benjamin teases, the boys fighting over something or other at the other end of the table as Renee fusses over her husband, and _this _feels like home in a way Utah never did.

* * *

**Next chapter: Sunday**

**If you haven't already, come join the TFMU Twific Meetup group on Facebook! A big group of us are meeting in Austin, Texas, in June 2020 and I'd love to see you there if you can make it! A little bunch of us are travelling over from the UK, and I think for at least a few of us, it'll be our first time. Everybody is welcome whether you're a reader, writer, beta, banner maker...we want to see you all!**

**As always, huge thanks to my wonderful team of ladies who call me on my bull and point out when I'm being too liberal with my 'it's fiction' excuse. **annaharding, LizziePaige, ThatSoAlex, Anakinsmom, **and** LadyLoonie, **I love you all dearly.**

**And I love each and every one of you who reads, reviews, and recommends this little tale of mine. Come friend me on Facebook - Ciara Shayee Hill - to chit chat with me and see the visuals I create to go with each chapter.**


	14. Chapter 14 - Bella

**Few questions I'll answer**—**Yes, Bella still works at Vaughn's. Everything about Edward's story will be revealed. Same with Bella's past. It's coming, I promise, but slowly slowly, as is my usual M.O. As for any new characters who've been mentioned...they'll all be explained in good time. Thank you all for sticking with me! Also, I'm still LOVING all your theories.**

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen**

_**Bella**_

"Arlo Maxwell Swan, so help me...stand _still_."

"Sorry, Momma."

Blowing out a long breath, I quickly finish brushing his hair into some semblance of order before giving up and twisting it into a bun on top of his head. He's only going to mess it up again in five minutes, anyway.

"All right, you can go." He gets halfway down the stairs before I remember to yell that he's still got twenty minutes to wait before he can go in the pool. His groan makes me grin, but I know he won't push his luck. He's already been told off by me _and _Mom this week for sneaking into the pool earlier than we said he could.

Turning back to the bathroom mirror, I find myself reaching for the hairbrush again to sort out my own mane. Larking around in the pool with the boys is fun, but it sure makes for untidy, waterlogged hair. Like a loon, I'm smiling at myself in the mirror and remembering the beautiful sound of Edward's laughter mixed with the giggles of my boys when there's a light tap on the door frame.

Edward's lips curl up into his signature crooked smile as I meet his gaze in the mirror. "Hey."

"Hey," I breathe, frozen in place by the look in his eyes.

_I know that look._

The me of ten years ago is doing a squee and dancing around with an 'I've seen Edward Cullen's O face' sign.

The me of today is just wondering if, and when, I'll get to see it again.

"Umm...are you...is everything okay?"

"Mmhm," he hums, crossing his thick arms and leaning against the doorframe with one ankle over the other, emerald eyes shining.

It's only then that I realize I'm giving him quite the show. My arms stretched up to manhandle my hair into submission mean my tits are being pushed together, which of course he can see perfectly in the mirror. Instead of lowering my arms, which is my first thought, I decide to have a little fun. I've had to resist drooling over his shirtless chest all morning—turnabout is fair play, after all.

His husky groan a few seconds later as I make a show of tipping my head back and arching my chest to gather my hair in a ponytail is just as much a taunt for me as my little show is for him.

_Peering up at him as I suck him all the way to the back of my throat, I'm rewarded with a delicious groan and a slight, instinctive buck of his hips. The ball of need drops lower, heat spreading through my veins._

"Where did your mind just go, Bella?"

With a gasp, I realize my distraction gave him the chance to step into the room. He closes the door behind him with a soft _click_, locking the door that leads into Everly's room before advancing on me like a predator might stalk its prey. He doesn't have to work very hard. I'm his willing captive.

Lightly grazing his fingers over my hip, he reaches up with the other hand to push my ponytail over my shoulder. Making use of his new access, Edward plants a hot, open-mouthed kiss to the juncture between my neck and shoulder. Sighing breathily, I lean into his chest, closing the gap and tipping my head back against his solid chest as my eyes slide shut.

"Perfection. You're perfect, Bella." His mumbled words vibrate through my skin and all the way down to my core.

After so long without, I never would have expected one night of passion to ignite my hormones like my night with Edward has.

My skin hums with electricity, his hands roaming everywhere except the places I really want them. It's obvious by the way he's holding me that he doesn't plan to take this any further than a little teasing.

I have other ideas.

Just when he sighs and pulls away, I spin in his arms and loop my hands behind his neck to tug him down to me. His lips meet mine with a surprised huff of laughter which quickly turns into a moan as all the air rushes from the room. My heart takes off at a sprint, my breaths choppy. I don't want to stop kissing him to breathe, but I finally have to when lightheadedness threatens my ability to remain standing.

Brushing featherlight kisses down his neck to his chest, I smile against his skin and suck in a lungful of his lingering aftershave and swimming-pool scent, every groan and mumbled curse lighting a fire in me.

A girl could get addicted to the insanely hot sounds he makes when he forgets to be stoic.

The warmth of his sun-soaked skin against my lips is nothing compared to the heat of his hands as he lifts me at the waist, walking me backward until my butt hits the counter. The hairbrush clatters to the floor, the soap bottle not far behind it.

In this position, our hips are level. There isn't an ounce of bashfulness in my body as I loop my thighs around his waist, tugging him closer so the very visible bulge in his board shorts rubs against the impossible-to-ignore ache between my legs.

"_Fuck_, yes, Edward."

Rumbling a growl against my neck, he gives me a slow, deliberate thrust, his lips parted, breath hot over my skin. "I swore I wouldn't maul you."

"Maul away," I laugh breathlessly, pulling him closer, wanting him even more so. "Kiss me."

There's no need to ask the man twice. His mouth comes down hard over mine, his sweet Coke breath and desperation-tinged kisses almost making me completely forget that we're in my parents' house, with my entire family roaming around on the other side of the flimsy bathroom door.

Footsteps on the stairs break through my Edward haze.

"_Shit._"

He hears them, too. We're both panting as we listen to them approach the door before continuing down the hall. So it's Everly or Rosalie, then. The boys sound like elephants, so it definitely wasn't them, and Mom and Dad have their bedroom downstairs.

Sending up a fervent prayer that it was Rosalie, because if Everly has come to the bathroom, this is hers and she'll question the door being locked, I run my fingers through the soft, baby fine hairs at the back of Edward's head. A laugh _almost _bubbles out of my chest when he lightly bumps his forehead against mine and lets out a sound reminiscent of a purr.

"Did you just _purr_?" I whisper incredulously, doing my best not to get us caught. I don't even want to think about what my sisters would say if they walked in now and found us like this.

"Maybe," he grumbles lightly, sighing long and low as we listen to the footsteps return before heading down the stairs. Pulling back, he rubs his beard and eyes me with obvious trepidation. "I really didn't come up here to maul you. I wasn't kidding."

"Did it seem like I was complaining?"

"Not even a little bit," he concedes, trying not to smirk. "Bella, this is…"

"Complicated."

"That's an understatement."

As much as I want to disagree with him, he's right. Nothing about this situation is simple or easy. To be honest, I don't even know _what_ this situation is, but I've never been one for holding my tongue if I don't have to.

"What are we doing?"

The flash of surprise in Edward's eyes makes me smile a little ruefully, but it drops as he shakes his head, putting some space between us. I can actually see the moment he catches himself and closes himself off to me. His single step backward might as well be the Grand Canyon right now, he feels so far away.

"I don't know."

I don't know why it hurts so much to hear that; it's exactly what I expected him to say.

Clearing my throat and righting my crooked bikini top, I quickly blink back a sudden onslaught of tears. _Stupid girl. Pull up your big girl panties and stop this becoming awkward as hell._ "I think...I think we need some space."

Confusion knots my stomach, because I'm sure the frown on Edward's face is made up of disappointment, but it's gone before I can get a proper read. Raking a hand through his messy hair, he manages a shaky smile. Again, I can _see _the effort it takes to muster, and I can't help but wish he'd just open up and let someone in—preferably me. I wish he'd let me help, but if not me, _somebody_. He has support, I just don't think he realizes it or is willing to accept it. Until he can get past some of his demons and let me in, I can't give myself over to the feelings hovering on the horizon whenever he's near.

I want him; I think he knows that. I just refuse to throw myself head-first into whatever this is if he isn't going to make the same effort. That said...it frightens me to admit, even just to myself, that I'm willing to wait. This isn't a sprint; we're in no rush. Some time and space might be exactly what we need to cool off and figure out what's going on.

He's not perfect, neither of us are, but he's all I want.

"Space. I think...yeah, okay." Clearing his throat, Edward refuses to meet my eyes as he turns to leave, holding the door open for me to go ahead.

"I'll be down soon. I just need a minute."

He nods silently and leaves me to catch my breath alone.

True to our word, we give each other space.

As I play with the boys on the grass by the pool, Edward chats with Dad, Benjamin, and Grandpa on the patio.

When Jaxson asks Edward to referee Noodle Races, we switch places. I let Mom and Angela suck me into conversation about her fast-approaching wedding to my brother.

A couple of hours later, when I run to the bathroom after drinking one-too-many glasses of freshly squeezed OJ, Edward takes the opportunity to slip away without saying 'goodbye' to me.

Mom says he was in a hurry and told her he'd catch me on the way out.

I know different. I know he was just giving me the space I asked for.

The space I'm not totally sure I want, even though I'm pretty sure we both need it.

**~ oOo ~**

Thoughts of Edward are pushed to the wayside the following day when I leave my shift at Vaughn's a few minutes early to meet Sue Black beside the newest 'For Sale' sign in Jackson Bay. I briefly think of him when my eyes roam to the yellow home six houses down on the same side of the street.

_If we move in here, he'll be our sort-of neighbor._

"It's perfect," I tell her before I even step through the slate gray front door.

Her bright smile mirrors mine, but she still tells me to hold off on making any decisions until I've seen the inside. It's all moot, though, because just as I suspected the second I climbed out of my car and set eyes on the yellow shuttered windows and cosy little porch, I love everything about the house.

It's all on one floor with three bedrooms, the perfect size kitchen complete with a breakfast bar with room for three, a living room that will easily fit the couch I've been eyeing online, and two bathrooms—one of which is an en-suite attached to the master.

My ridiculous grin only widens when Sue leads me out into the backyard. It doesn't have a view of the beach thanks to palm trees and bushes, but Sue seals the deal by informing me that the house has access to the beach via a little gate at the end of the yard. We'll be just feet away from the dunes I used to play on as a child.

Turning to her with a relieved sigh, I feel the prickle of tears threatening. "This is it, Sue. This is our house."

Four days and two offers later, it's official.

"_I'm so proud of you, love!_" Jude crows down the phone when I call her to share the good news.

I'm a homeowner. How weird is that?

"Thanks, Jude." Courtesy of Facetime, I can see when she dabs at her eyes with the sleeve of her cardigan—it's the purple and orange one the boys got her for Christmas last year. "You'll have to come out and stay with us once we've got furniture. There's plenty of room."

Scoffing, Jude shakes her head. "_I don't fly, Bella. Those tin cans aren't meant to be launched in the air like they are._"

"The boys miss you…" It's a low blow, I know, but it's true. They _do _miss her, which _she _knows. They tell her every time they Facetime, which is usually once or twice a week.

"_Don't you start with that, missy. It wasn't me who decided you should up and abandon me._"

Familiar guilt stabs me right in the chest. "Jude, I—"

"_I'm just pulling your leg, love. Don't mind me. Forgive an old woman her occasional guilt trips, hmm? Now, you said something about a yard, didn't you? Does that mean our boys will be getting the four-legged friend they've been begging for?_"

"Oh, Lord…" Running a hand through my hair, I tap on the window to put an end to the boys wrestling on the grass. They're about four seconds from hurting each other; a mother's intuition rarely lies about these things. "I haven't even thought that far yet. I still need to see about furniture, setting up all the utilities, making sure the boys get settled quickly before they start kindergarten and second grade…Who ever thought moving right now was a good idea?"

Jude laughs, assuring me that we can handle it and the boys will just be happy to be where I am, dog or no dog—although she also adds that Arlo in particular would be _especially _happy if a dog were involved.

It's something I'm considering, so I tell her just that, quickly hushing when the whirling dervish himself skids into the kitchen.

"Momma, can we have some juice? Umm, please!"

"Of course, baby. Here, say 'hi' to Nanny Jude while I pour some." To Jude, I say 'bye' and promise to keep her updated before passing the phone to Arlo. He takes off into the garden, presumably to let his brothers in on the call.

Watching them sit in a circle on the grass as I pour some fresh juice, it isn't the first time I feel sad that my time with them is running short. Now into the second week of July, I only have a month of days left with my boys before they're off to school and we've barely done any of the things I wanted to do with them.

Making up my mind to arrange a couple of the playdates I've been putting off, I put the cups of juice on a tray and carry it outside, vowing that I'll make the most of the summer we have left. It's about to get a whole lot harder with a move on the horizon, but I think we're up to the challenge.

**~ oOo ~**

Moving day arrives two weeks later, and _of-freaking-course _it would be the hottest day of the year so far.

Before doing anything else, while the boys are still sleeping soundly in their sleeping bags on Mom and Dad's bedroom floor—they demanded a campout with them on their last night living here—I head out to to Vaughn's to fill my cart with crates of beer, soda, and water. On a whim, I also grab a selection of chips and candy, studiously ignoring Jane's barbs about me taking last-minute leave to move.

The boys are just waking up when I arrive back at home with it my haul, so I put them to work.

"Just the bottom shelf, Momma?" Arlo asks, taking his spot in the little assembly line he and his brothers have going. He's the first in line. He takes the supplies from the bags and hands them to Finley, who hands them to Jaxson so he can put them in the fridge.

"Just the bottom shelf," I confirm, flashing Mom a grin as she joins us, tying the belt of her lilac kimono gown. "Good morning. Are you ready to get your house back?"

Mom sighs, but she's smiling. It's a small one, but it's there. "I'm going to miss you all far more than I'm going to enjoy having less laundry."

"We'll miss you, too, Nana."

Beaming at Jaxson, Mom blows him a kiss. "Thank you, sweetheart."

Abandoning their task for a moment, the boys share a look before dumping everything in their hands and running to Mom. She laughs tearfully, her eyes wet, as they wrap themselves around her legs in a three-way bear-hug.

"Can we still come stay with you sometimes, Nana?" Finley asks softly, looking up at her before flashing me a hopeful frown.

"Of course you can," she tells him emphatically before I can say a word, slipping down onto her knees so she can hug them all. "I'll be stealing you away so often, it'll be like you never even moved."

The boys giggle and love on her for a bit before resuming their job filling the bottom section of the refrigerator. In the meantime, I take the opportunity to give Mom a hug of my own. "I love you, Momma. Thank you for everything you've done for us. I can't...I don't have words for how grateful I am."

Wiping tears from my cheeks as her own tumble over her face, Mom smiles. "You don't need to thank me, sweetheart. Your dad and I have loved having you here—you _and _the boys. We're so grateful that you came home, but it's been an absolute joy having you back under our roof, even just for a little while."

"I'm going to miss being here," I admit easily, because it's true.

As excited as I am to finally have a house of my own with my boys, buying a house, my _first _house, is nerve-wracking.

Thanks to my inheritance, savings, and Jude insisting I pay peanuts for rent for the last nine years, I was able to buy our cosy new home outright. Mom and Dad have loaned me money for a few things, but anything that isn't urgent can wait. I made sure to have the boys' beds ordered as soon as I got confirmation the house would be ours. I also ordered my own bed, a couch for the family room, and a dining table with matching chairs. The house comes with the main appliances like a fridge, washer and dryer, and a dishwasher. The rest of the big stuff can be added over time..

By the time the boys have finished putting away half of the supplies I bought, I take some time to sit out on the patio with them while we eat breakfast. Mom, Dad, Everly, and Rosalie join us—they've all taken the day off work to help us move. It's touching and very much appreciated. Benjamin will be over at some point, too.

Over eggs, bacon, and freshly squeezed OJ, we make a plan. Everly and Mom are going to watch all the boys and supervise the loading of our belongings, which arrived just a couple of days ago fresh from England, while Benjamin, Dad, Rosalie, and I get things set up at the new house. Angela is planning to try and stop by later on once she's done working. With the boys out of the way, things are bound to go much smoother. Besides, much to the disgust of my sons, our new house is missing a key feature that their grandparents' house isn't—a built-in pool.

Apparently, promising to order an above-ground replacement isn't what they were hoping for. Their scowls last right up until Mom points out that they can use the pool when she watches them on Wednesdays and Thursdays while I work.

"All right, you bunch of crazies," I finally laugh when the boys are itching to leave the table and, quite frankly, I'm itching to get started with the move. "Let's get you all washed up and dressed, and then we can get this show on the road."

As is the norm these days, the boys head off as a noisy pack of four. Danny has been adopted into my boys' little trio as if he's always been a part of their gang. It's freaking adorable. He's not the only one they've adopted into their pack, though.

Last Monday, I finally got around to arranging a playdate for my boys, Danny, Carlie's daughter Bailee, and Lakely Samuels. They're all between the ages of four and six and got on like a house on fire while us moms put the world to rights at a bench on the edge of the playground. My boys ran riot for a few hours and slept like the dead when I put them to bed later that night. They've been asking when they can see their new friends ever since—Lakely and Bailee have, too—so we've set up another playdate for next Friday afternoon.

Honestly, I'm just as relieved that I'm making new friends as I am proud of my boys for the same thing. Being a single mom is tough. Being a single mom returning to a town that hasn't changed a bit in the years I've been away is even more so. It's a massive relief to be building friendships again—new and old.

In fact, Jane and her husband, Charlie, will be our next door neighbors after today. They live to the left of the new house with Lakely and their two pugs, Eddie and Peggy.

**~ oOo ~**

"I'm sweating my fucking bollocks off," Benjamin groans, wiping his sweaty forehead on his shirt before sighing and pulling it off. "Why did you have to move today, of all days?"

Blowing out a breath before murmuring my thanks to Dad as he hands me a bottle of water on his way out to the truck, I grumble, "If I'd known it'd be this hot, I'd have put it off, trust me."

Four hours after setting off from Mom and Dad's, we're finally making some real, visible progress. The couch is in its new spot, the dining table is set up and awaiting the chairs which are yet to have their legs attached, and all the beds are up and ready for linens.

The boxes of stuff I shipped from England are stacked in the dining room for now, along with the cases we brought with us when we flew out. Until the new dressers arrive next week, we'll be living out of our bags. Not ideal, but not the end of the world, either.

"Where do you want this, Bella?" Dad grunts, awkwardly hefting an armchair in by himself.

Benjamin laughs, rushing to help him. "Jeez, old man. Don't put your back out. Mom will kill us if we send you home broken."

"Old man," Dad scoffs, but his red face and bashful smirk say it all.

"Hey Dad, could you do me a favor? I think I messed up Jaxson's bed. The headboard seems kind of wonky and I can't figure out why."

I'm sure he's suspicious of my request, but to his credit, Dad doesn't argue. "Sure, I'll take a look, sweetheart. Are the tools still in his and Finn's room?"

"Yep, by the window. Thanks, Dad."

My brother shoots me a grin and steals my water, guzzling half the bottle before handing it back with barely a mouthful in the bottom. "Nice. I can't believe he bought that."

"He probably didn't," I shrug, spinning slowly so I can figure out what else I need to do in the kitchen. "But if it gets him to chill for a bit, it's a win."

"True," Benjamin mumbled. "All right, I'm goin' to grab the other chair. Where do you want them?"

Mom and Dad very kindly gifted us their old armchairs—the spinning cuddle chairs Dad had in his office until he upgraded a few months ago. One will fit perfectly in the family room, but the other will need to go somewhere else.

Thinking, I decide, "One in the family room and the other can go in my room. It's got the most space."

Saluting me, Benjamin heads out to the truck, leaving me at a loss. Everything I can do, I've done.

Checking things off my mental to-do list, I figure it can't hurt to have a walk through the house and make sure everything is where it needs to be for now. I'm sure things will move around in the coming weeks as we get used to our new surroundings.

Starting in the kitchen, I run my hands over the quartz countertops and grin at the view I'll have as I cook for my boys, their smiling faces peering back at me from the breakfast bar or the round dining table on the other side. The big bay window behind it overlooks the backyard, so I'll be able to see Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo playing from the stove.

This area is kind of sparse right now, but decor can come later, and I'll stock the fridge and cupboards tomorrow. Tonight, I'm treating everyone to pizza as a thanks for their help.

Moving through to the family room, I see that Benjamin has already moved the chair Dad carried in. Just as I thought it would, it fits nicely in the nook between the white brick fireplace and the window overlooking the street. Opposite, we have an overstuffed L-shaped couch complete with a matching footrest. It might be my favorite purchase for the house so far.

I already can't wait to snuggle up on there with the boys in the evenings.

The walls everywhere in the house are white. The family room is no different. I plan to fill them with pictures and artwork, but again, all in due course.

Moving down the hall, I come to three doors. Jaxson and Finley's room is on the left next to mine, and Arlo's is opposite. He killed with his bedroom, actually. It's slightly smaller than the one Jaxson and Finley will share, but he has the matching bay window to the one in the dining room. Stepping through the door, I smile at his cushions already sitting on the seat looking out over the yard. He's going through a _Coco _phase at the moment; Mom saw a cushion in Target and he's been obsessed with it since she brought it home.

Right now, his room—like the rest of the house—is pretty sparsely decorated. He at least has his red bedding and black throw blanket to add a splash of color; I just need to unfold it from the foot of his bed and put it all on.

Deciding to quickly get it done before the boys get here, I get the bed made up and head across the hall to do the same with Jaxson's and Finley's. My own room ends up being left until later, because no sooner than I've stepped back to admire the neatly made beds do I hear the distinctive thumping footsteps of my sons.

_"Momma? Where are youuuuu?" _Jaxson sings from...somewhere.

Moving out into the hall, I grin at my boys loitering near the front door. "Here, baby. Do you want to come see your room?"

All three of them do, of course, so I give them the tour with Mom following close behind, giving me the odd suggestion on what I could put in certain places to make this house feel more homey.

"We've actually got some stuff in the garage from when we renovated last year," she says as we stand in Jaxson and Finley's room, the boys deserting us to go see Arlo's room again. "I think it's mostly just knick-knacks, but you're welcome to take a look through it and see if there's anything you want."

"Thanks, Mom. That would be great." A knock from the front of the house catches our attention. Stepping out into the hall, I pause to bask in the warmth of seeing the boys bundled together on the window seat in Arlo's room, Mom abandoning me to join Benjamin as he calls out to her from my room, before heading for the front door.

My feet freeze, my breath catching in my throat.

Edward stands awkwardly in the open door, one hand in his hair, the other in his pocket. Offering me a sheepish, hesitant smile, he blows out a breath. "I, uh, I brought you something. A little housewarming gift. I hope that's okay…"

"Of course, but you didn't have to get us anything."

_Just seeing you is gift enough_.

We've managed to avoid each other since that disastrous brunch at Mom and Dad's two weeks ago. Rosalie got her car back from the mechanic so I've been using Mom's again, which means I haven't needed to get rides home from Edward. It looks like our little game of avoidance has finally come to an end now. We've had our space and I can only assume his arrival means he's made his mind up about what he wants from me. Now isn't the right time to talk, with Mom, Benjamin, and the boys down the hall, but I can't deny that I'm nervous to get that particularly conversation started.

"It's more for the boys than you, really. I just thought they'd like it, and I figured it would be good. New house, new things, you know?"

Looking around, I find myself fighting a wry smile. "So, what is it?"

"Oh, right." Edward rubs the back of his neck, the tips of his ears tinting pink. "Are the boys here? I think they should probably get to see it first."

"They're down the hall. First door on your right."

A small frown pulls his brows inward. As he passes me, sucking in a shaky breath, I impulsively reach out to touch his arm. Electricity rushes through my veins from the spot where our skin touches.

Peering down at me, I can _feel _the turmoil leaching from him into me. He's nervous, but I don't know why. His eyes are tinged with something like sadness and regret, but I don't know why that's there, either. So I give his forearm a light squeeze and reassure him the only way I can right now.

"They'll be really pleased to see you. They've asked after you a million times."

Edward closes his eyes for a moment, and when they open, his lips curl up just a touch on one side. "Thank you."

Nodding, I let him go, tucking my hands into my pockets as I watch him walk down the hall and listen to my boys' over-the-moon excited squeals when he steps into Arlo's room.

"_Edward! What are you doing here?"_

I hear a muffled _oomph_ and presume it's the boys hitting Edward. I can't resist taking a peek, and the view from the doorway when I rush down the hall doesn't disappoint. All three boys are wrapped around Edward's legs, their smiles miles wide as they look up at him.

"I've actually brought you a gift. D'you want to come see it? It's out front."

"_Duh_," Arlo crows, grabbing the pocket of Edward's shorts to pull him toward me—and the gift, by default.

We all follow Arlo and Edward through the house, the boys running ahead as Edward laughs and tells them not to get their hopes up too high. Having put the chairs in their new homes and done everything else he can do, Benjamin tells me he's going to run the truck back to Mom and Dad's to grab the last few things, clapping Edward on the shoulder and giving out hugs on his way out.

"Actually, I think I'll come with you," Mom murmurs, pulling me in for a quick hug. "I'll grab a couple of things that I think you might like and put them in with the rest of your bits and pieces. Is there anything you can think of that we might have forgotten to pack?"

"I don't think so, Mom, thank you."

"All right. We'll see you in a little while. Bye, EC." She stretches up to kiss his cheek just as Arlo loses his last shred of patience and tugs Edward out into the front yard, Mom, Benjamin, and I following.

My feet skid to a stop on the porch as soon as my eyes land on the 'little' gift Edward brought.

* * *

**Next chapter: Wednesday**

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**And I love each and every one of you who reads, reviews, and recommends this little tale of mine. Come friend me on Facebook - Ciara Shayee Hill - to chit chat with me and see the visuals I create to go with each chapter.**


	15. Chapter 15 - Bella

**So I'm thinking I've written the surprise-dog scenario too many times. Y''all are adamant that EC has gotten the boys a dog LOL. I'll let you get to it.**

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen**

_**Bella**_

When Edward said he'd brought us a housewarming gift, I figured it would be something small. A vase, something for the wall, I don't know. Something simple.

'Simple' doesn't come close to describing the huge trampoline currently in pieces leaning up against the side of a truck emblazoned with the Burger Co. logo. The trampoline mat is rolled up, but it looks to be at least fifteen feet across and I can see a net draped over the cargo bed. As the boys rush up to get a closer look, I step up beside Edward and elbow him in the side.

"_Oomph..._shit, Bella," he huffs, laughing even as he leans away from me. "What was that for?"

"This is _way too much, _Edward! Christ, this must have cost a fortune!"

"It didn't cost a thing," he insists, rubbing his side, apparently unable to look away from the boys hanging all over the trampoline and talking over each other in their excitement. From what I can see, it looks brand new. The net looks intact with no obvious rips and the metal legs laying on the grass are still shiny with no sign of rust.

There's no way he got this for free.

"This is so cool! Look, Momma!"

"That's great, baby," I call back distractedly, turning to face Edward. "You can't honestly expect me to believe this was _free_."

"It was," he says calmly, hesitating for a moment before looping an arm around my shoulders and leading me toward the boys. "An old buddy of mine was getting rid of it, his kids have outgrown it, and I figured your boys would love it. They were complainin' that they'd lose the pool when your mom brought them in for lunch the other day, so I just thought this might sweeten the deal a little."

Any annoyance I might have been feeling evaporates the moment I sigh and look up at his face, and I mean _really _look.

His eyes, so often dark and clouded with memories I can't even begin to imagine, are alight with pride that he's made my boys so happy with something he sees as simple. To most, it would be. Lots of people get their friends housewarming gifts, and if he's telling the truth about his friend giving this to him, it's not out of order for him to gift it to Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo.

It's the thought behind it that makes my eyes burn with unexpected tears.

The boys have many people who love them. It's still heartwarming to realize that they now have one more in Edward.

"Thank you," I finally breathe, wrapping an arm around his waist and leaning into him for a moment—just long enough that I get a strong whiff of his delicious woodsy aftershave and find myself battling the desire to wrap myself around him like a spider monkey and pepper his bashfully smiling face with kisses.

This man...he's a total dichotomy, a lesson in contrasts. He's light and dark. Crooked grins and steely stares. He's warm-hearted one moment, cold the next. Giving, and yet closed-off.

Edward Cullen is an enigma. A puzzle I'm desperate to solve.

"You're welcome, short stuff. Now, how about we get this thing in the backyard and get it assembled before the neighbors have a conniption fit thinking you're some kind of oddball?"

Between the two of us, we just about manage to get the trampoline and all the pieces through the gate and into the backyard. Edward informs me that it _is _fifteen feet across and is perfectly sound. Apparently, the guy who had it before was a total safety freak and barely let his daughters use it, hence the great condition it's still in.

It takes us a good couple of hours in the insane heat with the boys hurrying us along, but we eventually get the trampoline assembled and set up. As soon as Edward gives them the okay, Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo are clambering up the ladder to show off their 'tricks,' which mostly consist of awkward, lopsided flips and forward rolls. Edward and I pull out the camp chairs from the hall closet, the ones I only just packed away this morning, and get comfy in the shade of the porch. Reaching for the cooler at my feet, I grin and hold up a cold bottle of Coke.

"You want?"

"Please."

Watching Edward drink from the glass bottle is almost pornographic, but then...I could say the same about almost anything he does. The man is ridiculously attractive. His outward appearance is hot enough, but the man within is even more so.

It's terrifying and exhilarating in equal measure, but as we sit together on the back porch, the boys flinging themselves around the trampoline, and our new house at my back, I can't stifle the thought that _now _this place feels like a home.

**~ oOo ~**

A couple of hours later, the yard is significantly busier.

Mom and Dad arrive first with Benjamin, Angela, and Danny in tow. Shortly afterward, Everly and Rosalie announce their presence by yelling "We brought wine!" over the fence. Dad has just gotten the grill started when Grandpa Freddie, Little Grandma, Carlie, and Bailee wade into the chaos bearing side dishes and bottles of their chosen beverages for after the kids crash. They all bring folding chairs or stools because I haven't had time to head into Jacksonville for any outdoor furniture yet, and I pre-warned them that they'd end up sitting on the grass if they didn't bring their own seats.

The kids don't particularly care. They're more than happy to sit on a blanket on the grass as they munch on Dad's BBQ ribs and demolish more than their fair share of the pad thai fries Edward picked up from the restaurant just before everybody started arriving.

He hangs out with us all afternoon, much to my combined surprise and delight. The boys take great pleasure in showing him their small selection of gymnastic moves before insisting I get on the trampoline to show them a real flip. My cheeks flame crimson when Edward gives me a nudge and admits he'd like to see my moves, way more than a mere hint of mischief in those insanely pretty green eyes of his. Needless to say, I make a show of stretching out right in front of him before executing a pretty stellar backflip.

After that, we stick to watching the boys from our seats on the porch, the sun beaming down and the faint, far-off whoosh of the sea soothing my soul.

By the time the sun begins to set on our first evening in the new house, my cheeks are sore from smiling so hard for so long and I'm looking forward to many more family cookouts here. Sipping my soda and gazing around at everybody enjoying themselves, I can't believe I'm this lucky. Finding this house, everything going so smoothly, everyone being so kind and helping us get all moved in...we're extraordinarily blessed to have such wonderful people around us.

_But there's one missing._

Jude is rarely far from my thoughts, especially when we're gathered together like this. She's family. She belongs with us.

Sliding her arm through mine, Carlie offers me a bright smile. "This house is so beautiful, B," she sighs. "I'm just a teeny, tiny bit jealous."

Laughing, I lean my head against hers and watch her daughter running rings around my boys with a soccer ball. Danny crashed in his mom's arms an hour ago—I expect they'll head home soon. Benjamin keeps complaining that I killed him today, much to the amusement of our dad who insists he feels absolutely fine. They're all sitting in a circle over by the fire pit with Grandpa Freddie, Little Grandma, and Edward.

As if he can feel my eyes on him, Edward shoots me a wink and a crooked little smirk before hiding his face behind his Corona as he takes a long pull. I swallow hard, watching his Adam's apple bob and the muscles of his arm flex as he raises and lowers the bottle.

_Sweet Jesus, it's hot out here._

Thankfully, it seems Carlie missed our little exchange. She definitely would have said something if she'd caught it. A brain-to-mouth filter is something she never quite mastered. It's one of my favorite things about her.

"Do you want a refill?" I ask, nodding at her empty glass.

"Actually, I just came over to say me and Bailee are going to have to head out." Her smile slips a little as she admits, "Her dad is coming to get her early tomorrow. He's taking her to New York for the week with Ashley's family."

Ashley is the new wife of Carlie's ex-husband, Bailee's dad. Daniel married Ashley less than two years after he and Carlie split. We covered the whole sordid story over a late-evening phone call last week. Something that's a lot different now, compared to when we were highschoolers, is that we can't just walk down the street to pig out on ice cream and put the world to rights in each other's bedrooms. We're parents now with jobs and houses that need taking care of, so we make do with phone calls when our kids are all in bed and coffee dates when they're elsewhere.

Honestly, having been friends with both Carlie and Daniel at Bay High, having seen how their friendship developed into the sort of storybook romance people dream about, it still doesn't make sense to me that they aren't together anymore. I, like everybody else who saw them together, wholeheartedly believed they'd be together forever and have a bunch of Bay babies.

Instead, Carlie is alone in her apartment half the week while her daughter stays with Daniel and Ashley in their high-rise penthouse in Miami.

"We'll still see you next Friday, though. She's back on Wednesday evening."

"All right." After setting my glass down on the railing, I pull her into a hard hug and remind her that she's absolutely welcome to come and hang out with me and my gang of crazy boys if she gets bored.

"As nice as that offer is, and as grateful as I am, I think I'll just cram as much overtime in as I can while Bailee's with Dan. I feel guilty giving up my time with her to work now it's already limited, so at least her being away means I can earn us some extra dough to put away for Christmas." Rolling her eyes, Carlie sighs. "She's got her heart set on some fancy Barbie Dreamhouse set. It costs a freaking fortune, and I'll be damned if Dan gets to be the one who buys her the number one thing on her list two years in a row. I've already told him I've got it covered, so I have to get it now."

Not for the first time, it occurs to me that we've both ended up single-handedly raising little humans whose fathers turned out to be completely different than they first appeared.

"Let me know if I can help at all, okay?"

"Will do." I already know she won't ask for help. She's as stubborn and feisty now as she was when we were at Bay High together. It was one of the characteristics I admired most about Carlie, along with her confidence.

Once she's corralled Bailee and reminded her of the reason she doesn't get to continue whooping the boys' butts at soccer, Carlie plants a smacking kiss on my cheek before giving Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo the same treatment.

As it happens, Carlie and Bailee are the first to leave but not by much. Rosalie and Everly stumble down the street together, complaining that they've both got early starts tomorrow. Grandpa Freddie and Little Grandma head out next, followed by Benjamin, Angela, and Danny.

"Bye, Lil Grandma!" Arlo crows, launching himself into Little Grandma's arms.

"Careful, Lo," I warn gently, my smile probably negating it altogether, but I can't help _but _smile. Little Grandma is called 'Little' Grandma for a reason; she's barely five feet tall. My four-year-old will probably outgrow her by the time he's eight or nine and he's already closing in fast, so the sight of him wrapping his arms around her neck for a hug is just adorable.

"He's fine, Bella dear, don't worry. Now, Mister...what did we discuss earlier?"

Arlo pulls back to offer her a wide, cheeky grin that can only spell trouble—for me, most likely. "We're gonna have a sleepover soon and you're gonna teach me how to play proper Go Fish."

"That's right," Little Grandma agrees with a nod. "Proper Go Fish." The wink she tacks on the end doesn't instill much confidence in me.

Looking to Grandpa Freddie, I cock my head. "Should I be worried?"

"I'll keep a close eye on them, don't worry." Slightly mollified by his promise, I make plans to liaise with them so we can organize a date for the boys to have their sleepover before walking them out with my brother and his family.

"Thanks for all your help today, Ben."

"You're welcome."

_Holy_—"Ben!" I squeak as my feet leave the ground, my oaf of a brother lifting me into the air. It's possible he's had a beer or five and is more than a little merry as a result.

Angela snorts and shakes her head, motioning toward their car across the street. "I'd give you a hug, Bella, but it looks like we've both got our hands full. Thank you for having us, we'll see you at brunch." Grinning over her sleeping son's head, she adds, "You have a beautiful home. I can't wait for our first Mommy's Night In over here."

I can't wait, either. I tell her so, waving them off with a soft, satisfied sigh before heading back outside. The sight that greets me makes my smile stretch wide, my stomach flip-flopping.

Mom has abandoned her camp chair for Dad's lap. When I was a teenager, I would have groaned and called them 'gross' or something equally as childish. Looking at them now as both an adult and a single parent, it's nothing short of adorable. They're so in love, still, after thirty years together.

Thirty years annoying the love out of each other, as Dad always says before smacking a kiss to Mom's cheek.

The low light of the moon mixed with the dying glow of the fire pit creates beautiful patterns over their smiling faces as they whisper to each other, Mom's arm around his shoulders, her hand on his face. Their love is effortless, fathomless. I can't imagine it, but I can see it.

And then I look across the fire pit and my heart comes to a standstill. Edward has somehow managed to cram his considerable bulk into a folding camp chair with all three boys on top of him. Their heads are pillowed on his chest, their legs a tangled mess across and over his lap. The low rumble of his voice travels across the lawn and up the porch steps, their hushed giggles and murmurs of awe calling me closer.

But not without pausing to snap a photo on my phone.

Heart slamming against my chest, my stomach flipping around like a four-year-old on a trampoline, I save the picture to my favorites and cross the backyard. Jaxson is first to spot me.

"Hey, Momma," he murmurs with a sleepy smile.

Edward looks up, the tips of his ears tinting pink. There are a million words on the tip of my tongue. A million things I want to say, a million more I want to ask.

I don't say anything, though. I silently sink into the chair beside them, my small smile encouraging him to continue. After a few moments, he does, and I join my boys being lulled into relaxation by the low cadence of Edward's voice as he tells stories of camping with his grandparents as a boy. My sons eat up his words even as their yawns cut their questions in half and their drooping eyes slide shut. The crackle of the embers in the fire pit a few feet away, combined with Edward's voice, the far-off whoosh of the sea, and a breeze rustling the leaves of the palm trees creates an ambience so calming _I _almost drift off.

"Honey," Mom's gentle whisper pulls me from my semi-conscious state. She smiles, brushing a lock of my hair away from my face. "Dad and I are heading out. Do you want some help putting the boys to bed?"

Eyeing Edward, who shakes his head just enough not to disturb Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo, I tell Mom we've got it covered.

"All right. We'll see you tomorrow, okay? I'll pick the boys up and drop you off to work."

"Sure. Thanks, Mom. I'll walk you out."

Once Mom and Dad have set off on foot, their car parked on the drive where mine will go—when I eventually get around to heading into Jacksonville to pick one out—I distract myself from the beyond heartwarming scene in my backyard by clearing up a little. Thanks to Mom's forethought, we used mostly recyclable plates and cutlery, so I won't be left with a year's worth of dishes.

Also, we currently only have six sets of each utensil in the house.

Once I've gathered all the dirty dishes that need washing and dumped them in the dishwasher, which I'll figure out tomorrow, I grab a trash bag from the cupboard and scoop everything that can't be recycled into it. Heading outside, I grin at Edward buried under sleeping boys.

"Give me a sec, and I'll come rescue you."

Even from across the yard, I see the way Edward's arms tighten slightly around the boys. "I'm good. No rescuing necessary."

Gazing at him for a beat, I decide that he wouldn't lie. If he says he's good, that's enough for me.

My mind wanders as I mosey around the yard, picking up as I go, and of course my eyes routinely flick over to Edward and the boys. Just as he said, he seems perfectly at ease with them all squished on his lap, his big arms wrapped protectively around them. Perhaps for the first time, I really take the time to think about how it must feel for him, being around them.

_Arlo is almost the same age as_—

"Bella?"

Spinning around, I find myself snorting to stifle my laughter. Finley has shifted over a little, and even the little amount of light out here is enough for me to see the big string of drool he's just wiped over Edward's shirt.

"Oh, jeez. One second, let me get a towel and then I'll grab him."

When I return with a towel, I hand it to Edward and scoop Finley carefully into my arms. He's the lighter out of him and Jaxson, but he still weighs more than I can comfortably carry, even at just six years old. Edward shoots me an amused smirk as I heave him up higher so his head rests over my shoulder and most of his weight is being supported by my back.

"You're not gonna be able to do that much longer, huh?"

"No," I sigh, regret clouding my tone. "I'd carry them all forever if they'd let me and my back could take it. As it is, it's a workout carrying Jax and Finn. Arlo isn't far behind."

Carefully, Edward manages to lift himself out of the chair without waking either of the boys in his arms. Finley and Arlo snooze on contentedly. I can't help but shake my head and share my admiration. Lifting one of the boys when they're a dead-weight and fast asleep is tricky. Lifting two, and out of a low chair, too…

"Very admirable, Edward."

He chuckles, his laughter cutting off suddenly as he grimaces and waits for the boys to stir. Of course, they don't. They're all deep sleepers. It's been incredibly helpful on the nights I've wanted to watch movies in bed but they've snuck in to sleep with me. I can watch whatever I like—action movie, thriller, musical...they'll sleep through them all.

"Come on, let's get these party animals to bed."

Carrying them down the hall to their new rooms, I can't help but think how surreal this feels. It's both comforting and unnerving having someone else help me with this. It's wrong, and yet _right, _having a set of heavy footsteps follow me through the house into the bigger boys' room, odd, but somehow not, to watch Edward gently lay Jaxson on his bed before tugging his shoes off with one hand and flipping on the nightlight plugged in by his nightstand.

_He's done this before. Not with my boys, but with a partied-out little one too sleepy to take off her own shoes._

By the time I've gotten Finley situated and kissed both his and Jaxson's messy hairdos, Edward is across the hall tucking Arlo in. Leaning in the doorway, I'm treated to a sight that has my stomach flip-flopping and my heart slamming against my chest. Luckily, my breathy sigh is too quiet to interrupt the moment.

"Edward?" Arlo whispers, hanging onto the pocket of Edward's shorts.

"Yeah, buddy, I'm here. What's up?" My pulse races as he pauses before carefully sitting on the edge of Arlo's bed.

"Are you havin' a sleepover with me? S'late, right?"

"It _is _late," Edward chuckles. "But I'm not having a sleepover. I'm just helping your mom get you yahoos to bed and then I'm heading home."

_Pity_.

The thought crosses my mind before I can stop it. Now it's there, I can't erase it.

_That new bed needs christening._

Shaking my head, I tune into the conversation in time to hear Arlo ask for a bedtime story. Even from my spot a few feet away, there's no missing the way Edward's shoulders tighten, his back ramrod straight. I don't know why a bedtime story is a trigger for him, but I can make an educated guess. Before he has to say 'no,' I make my presence known.

"It's late, kiddo." Edward twists just his head to face me. His desolate sigh and the way he hangs his head is gutting. "No story tonight, okay? You need to get lots of sleep."

Thankfully, Arlo picks a good night not to fight with me. He simply huffs, which loses all its petulance when it morphs into a loud yawn. "Night, Edward. Night, Momma. Love you."

"I love _you_, kiddo."

Edward doesn't move while I cross the room to plant a kiss on Arlo's forehead. As I straighten up, our eyes meet over my son and I hope he can see the willingness to support him and be the shoulder he can lean on in mine. God knows I can see the loss and confusion in his.

**~ oOo ~**

The log crackles and pops as I carefully drop it into the fire pit, watching to make sure it catches before breathing out a content sigh and settling myself in my seat. Edward flashes me a small grin as our eyes find each other.

"Does it sound weird if I say that I'm relieved today is over?"

"Not at all," he says with a snort, taking a big mouthful of his beer before adding, "I'm surprised you're still standing, to be honest. I was ready to kick your parents out and crawl into bed when my place was finally move-in ready and the big day arrived."

Nostalgia tugs my lips up into a smile. "I think I remember...it was really hot, like today."

"It was," Edward confirms. Like today, the day my family helped Edward move into his house was the hottest day so far that year.

"Didn't Ben fall in the pool?"

Edward chuckles, suddenly quieting and glancing toward the house.

"It's all right, they won't hear you." Arlo's bedroom is closest, but he's the heaviest sleeper of all.

Mollified, he takes another mouthful of his drink before speaking. "He did. Charlie was fuming because he'd had too much to drink to drive him home, so he had to walk Ben back to your place so he could get changed. Nobody thought to bring swimwear, apparently."

Smiling, I shake my head and tip my head back, gazing up at the stars.

I was twelve years old when Edward's house was finally complete. My memories of the day he moved in are hazy from lack of use, but clear enough that I can still picture my dad's exasperation when Benjamin hauled himself out of the pool after tripping in while showing off with Edward's younger brother, Jasper.

"You did an amazing job with that house," I finally breathe when a gentle breeze blows the cobwebs from my mind.

"Thanks." Edward's inability to accept praise of any sort makes me grin. He reaches up with his free hand to rub the back of his neck, his ears tinted pink.

Hesitating for a moment, I tell myself to take the chance and murmur, "It's still the same yellow, isn't it?"

If it weren't for the low glow of the fire in the pit, I would have missed the tension that ripples up his spine and the tick of his jaw, but I don't. I wait with baited breath, knowing it was risky, wondering if it'll push him—

"Yes," he whispers roughly, his shoulders visibly tense. "I don't...I can't change it."

When Edward completed the house, the exterior was painted a crisp, clean white. A handful of years later, Edward, Benjamin, and Dad spent an entire weekend painting it a cheerful, sunny yellow.

All because it would put a smile on the face of a little girl with her daddy's grass-green eyes.

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**Next chapter: Sunday**

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	16. Chapter 16 - Edward

**Just a quick note to say that you may or may not need tissues for this one. Also, another early update. You're welcome ;)**

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen**

_**Edward**_

"_To Edward!" The small group cheers, gathered on the front lawn outside number thirteen, raising their plastic cups in the air._

_I shake my head with a grin. Finally, _finally_, the house is complete. As everybody meanders inside with their drinks, clapping me on the back and pulling me into hugs on their way, I take a moment to just soak it all in. The hot August sun beats down on my back as I blow out a big breath, displacing my floppy mess of hair which is long overdue a cut, and think back to the run-down piece of crap I bought two years ago for a steal of a price._

_Two long years, over twenty-six months of back-breaking, soul-destroying, frustrating-as-all-hell work later, I have a beautiful home fit for a family._

My _family, I hope._

_As if she knows I'm thinking of her, my phone lights up and rings with a familiar tone. My lips twist up into a bigger smile as I answer the call, my eyes moving over the plaque I mounted to the wall just a few minutes ago. "K, it's all done."_

"_What's done?"_

_Frowning, I move to rake a hand through my hair before realizing both my hands are occupied. "The house, K. The house is finished. It's all signed off and ready for us to move in."_

"_Oh, right, of course."_

_For a moment, nerves rush through my veins before confidence takes over. I know she's not a hundred percent sold on this move. She likes Utah too much to be as excited as I am about our fresh start, but it'll be worth it, she'll see. And it's not like Jackson Bay will be totally new to her; she's been out plenty of times. Her employers have been generous enough to allow her to work from home or on the road half the time so she can spend time with me, too, but that won't last forever, and besides, we're married. We should live together. The plan was always to wait until the house was ready and then Kate would move here so we can finally start our life together in one place._

_So we can finally start a family._

_I've always wanted kids. The more, the better. I've been wary the last couple of years, what with us living apart and the house still being a work in progress, but there's nothing stopping us now. Growing up as one of two kids in the house, I often wondered what it would be like to have more siblings. My best friend growing up, Alfie, is one of four kids and I was always a bit jealous of his loud, boisterous house._

_This place, this house which will hopefully become our home right here on the beach, would be perfect for three or four kids. Three or four little Cullens Kate and I can teach to swim in the pool and watch grow up on the sand. I just need her to realize its potential, too._

Raking a hand through my hair and gazing at myself in the mirror, I swallow the roar of frustration threatening to tear my chest in two and breathe out a shaky sigh instead.

I was so foolish, my ideas of what life would be like, rose-tinted. Had I known then what I know now, I definitely wouldn't have been so cocksure or confident in my decisions up to that point.

I'll never regret the choices that brought me to Jackson Bay. I'll never regret marrying Kate or wasting years of my life with her. Those choices, those years, gave me the light of my life. I just didn't realize I'd be plunged into darkness so soon.

After spending too long staring at my reflection, I blow out a breath and leave the bathroom. In the kitchen, I find Bella.

Humming along to a tune only she can hear, she sways her hips and quietly stacks rinsed glasses on the rack to dry. Her long, pink-purple hair tumbles over her shoulders and back, the very ends teasing the curve of her ass. The flowy black skirt she pulled on when the sun dipped low dusts the hardwood and offsets the clean white of her off-the-shoulder shirt. Her clothes are bland in color, but her innate vibrancy bleeds into the atmosphere around her anyway.

My chest aches as I watch her, my eyes burning with a familiar threat. As a boy, I was taught that tears and emotion were for girls. 'Boys don't cry,' I was told. Not by my parents, but by society. People don't think that way so much now. It's more acceptable for men to show emotion, but it's still not something I'm completely comfortable with myself. I once prided myself on being a strong man.

But that was before I watched my whole world implode. The incessant ringing in my ears blares louder, every beep making my head pound, until—

"Hey, it's okay."

Soft hands cup my face, warmth brushing my chest. Bella slowly leans into me until her forehead bumps my sternum.

"I'm here, Edward," she whispers.

A shudder rushes down my spine as my trembling hands reach for her hips. I hold her too tight, but she doesn't complain. She simply holds me as memories rush through my mind on a loop. Today has been amazing. Family and friends gathered around, the kids making good use of the trampoline, then the boys falling asleep on me. There's nothing like that feeling of pride when a child trusts you enough to fall asleep on you, and Bella's boys had no qualms about crawling into my lap and pressing me to tell them stories about my childhood while they drifted off.

It's been...peaceful. Happy and full of smiles.

But now, in the quiet of the kitchen, nostalgia and loss rise in a debilitating tide of pain that spreads through my chest and pulls memories I've shoved to the back of my mind right to the front.

_A wail, a spongy cord, bright green eyes._

_Toothless smiles, sleepless nights, bright green eyes._

_Neverending giggles, first teeth, first steps, first words, bright green eyes._

_Trips to the beach, sandcastles and sandy kisses, bright green eyes._

_A tiny backpack, matchy-matchy scrunchies and shoes, bright green eyes._

_Those eyes..._my _eyes in a heart-shaped face. I'd begun to wonder if I'd ever see that, then she came along. The perfect little girl I'd been dreaming of with my grass-green gaze and her mom's sunny blonde curls. Those green eyes haunt me._

My heart thumps harder, a breathless curse escaping me, Bella's arms slipping around my waist to hold me together.

When she came along, I never thought I'd find myself saying 'goodbye' to her.

_A forgotten promise, a frustrated phone call, a mad dash._

_Forgiving grins, a grateful sigh, then the screech of brakes._

"I can't..._Bella_…"

"It's okay, Edward, it's okay."

It's not, though. This isn't okay. None of it is. These memories...I can usually keep them at bay. I have to, or this happens. This is why I run. This is why I hide from my thoughts and why I avoid spending too much time with other people. I'm not normal—not whole.

Normality slipped away from me six years ago along with my reason for breathing.

_I need to forget. I need to not feel. Just for a little while. I need..._

Pulling back slightly, I pour every ounce of my pain and need into Bella. Her lips hesitate before moving against mine, the taste of indecision strong.

_Please, Bella. Give me this. Make me forget. Distract me, please._

I can feel the exact moment she surrenders. Her hands grip my shirt tighter, her kisses more purposeful. All the air rushes from the room, our breaths quickly becoming panted declarations.

_You feel so good._

_I need you._

Gripping the backs of her thighs, I hoist her feet off the ground and _almost _smile at her quiet squeak of surprise. She doesn't stop kissing me as I carry her out of the kitchen and down the hall.

Laying her out on the bed beneath me is a somewhat surreal experience. Her coy smile makes my stomach flip, but when she pulls her lower lip between her teeth and begins peeling her shirt over her stomach, I'm lost. Every inch of sun-kissed skin calls to me as it's revealed to my hungry gaze. Lifting herself a little to remove the shirt completely, she leaves me breathless.

"You're so beautiful," I breathe, lowering myself to taste her everywhere she'll let me. Sun-warmed and smelling faintly of whatever lotion she uses, Bella tastes of summer and sunshine. Her hands explore my shoulders as I lick, suck, and kiss across her stomach from hip to hip, pausing where the moonlight sneaking through the open drapes draws attention to her faded stretch marks. Reverent, I kiss those, too, smiling against her skin when she stutters a breathy moan.

_My _name.

It's _my_ name this beautiful woman is gasping as I move up until my nose brushes the lacy cup of her bra. "Off," I murmur.

"Bossy," Bella huffs, but her lips are spread in a smile when I glance up with raised eyebrows. When the offending fabric is out of the way, I make sure to give each breast the attention it deserves. By the time I'm done, she's writhing under me and my dick is about ready to drill a hole in the bed.

"My turn."

I comply as she rolls me over onto my back, groaning when she removes her stretchy skirt in one smooth motion over her head and settles herself on top of me with a smirk, rolling her hips over mine. "Mean woman."

"Pot, meet Kettle," she whispers teasingly, slowly unbuttoning my shirt. As she moves lower, perching on my thighs, I remove it completely and toss it on the floor with her clothes. There's no doubt that the brush of her palm over my aching dick is anything but on purpose. I can't help but thrust up into her touch, not that she seems to mind. Her lip goes back between her teeth, and I never realized how hot I'd find that until now. "Someone's impatient."

"Yeah, well. Someone else has been sauntering around in indecent shorts and a tank top all afternoon," I grumble half-heartedly, lifting my hips so she can tug down my shorts and briefs.

The surprised, light peal of laughter Bella releases turns my ears red, but any embarrassment I feel evaporates into the heat of the room the second her eyes drop to the part of me that aches for her the most.

My own hunger is reflected right back at me in the flush of her cheeks and the darkening of her steel gaze.

Drunk on her, this sinfully gorgeous woman who apparently wants me as much as I want her, I can't wait any longer. Her panties give way with barely a tug; I catch her gasp in a desperate kiss and lift her hips, sliding into her hot, wet heat with a groan that she swallows and chases with one of her own.

_Perfect. _"You're perfect, Bella. _Fffuck_, so good."

Over and over and _over _I thrust into her, my eyes unable to stay in one spot for long.

Lit by the moon, her hair shines as it sways between us. Her breasts prove too much temptation to resist, her head tipping back and a sigh escaping into the air as my lips close around one tight nipple, then the other. I press a kiss to the tattoo that rests under her right breast—a tree with three small, blue birds resting in the branches, each a little different from the others. One for each of her boys. I didn't notice it the first time she stripped down to her bikini in front of me, but then I was busy trying to look like I wasn't gawking like a schoolboy seeing his first porn magazine.

Flipping her over so she's between me and the mattress, I catch her gaze for a moment before looking lower, her eyes too intense for me to handle right now.

It's the flush spreading over her chest and her panted "It's never been this good" that breaks me. My orgasm barrels down my spine way too quickly, my heart fit to burst clean out of my chest.

I'm relieved when Bella gasps that she's about to come a split-second before I can't hold myself up any longer, my eyes squeezed shut against the sudden onslaught of pleasure as my movements become jerky, my hips slamming against hers and my face burying itself in her hair.

**~ oOo ~ **

Lightly trailing her fingertips over my chest, Bella gazes at me with a softness to her eyes I wasn't expecting.

Guilt quickly took the place of pleasure when sense returned and I realized I'd essentially used her as a distraction, but lying here now, with her understanding blanketing me and the soft glow of moonlight making her eyes shine silver, I feel nothing but peace. At least for the moment.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she finally whispers.

I want to scream 'no.' I want to run. I want to hide.

I just don't have the energy—the mental _or _physical energy. I'm not twenty-five anymore. And I want to let her in. I know that's what's holding her back. My inability to open up has pushed everyone away, but I want to keep her close. If sharing the absolute mess taking up space between my ears will accomplish that, I need to try.

"I don't know where to start," I murmur up at the ceiling.

"Try the beginning?"

I don't know if it's her gentle tone and gentler touch, the weightlessness of post-orgasm relief, or the cocoon-like ambience in the room, but I find myself _wanting _to talk.

Casting my mind _back _isn't something I do often, if I can help it. Memories tend to bring me more pain than comfort and regret is something that goes hand-in-hand with most of my memories. But this is Bella, and Bella isn't forcing me or putting any pressure on me to open up and spill all my raw emotions over the floor. I know she wouldn't be angry if I told her 'no.'

So, instead of pushing her away, I squeeze her to me and enjoy the relief that rushes through my veins when she shuffles even closer and wraps her arm around my waist, her head resting on my chest.

"I miss her," I croak. For a second, I wonder if she knows which 'her' I mean.

"I can't even imagine what it's like to lose a child," she admits, her arm tightening around me. _Of course, she knows. _

I turn my head, pressing my lips against her hair to breathe her in. "She'd love your boys."

"_Oh, God…_" Leaning up to look right into my soul with her eyes brimming with tears, she shakes her head and smiles shakily. "They'd adore Willow, Edward."

As usual, my daughter's name sends a spear of agony right through me.

"_Have we got a name for this precious little one?"_

_I grin at the pink-wrapped bundle in my arms. I'm sure the doctor calls every baby 'precious,' but in this case, I'm inclined to agree with him. It's the morning after my daughter arrived and I'm more in love with her every second that passes. Glancing at Kate, who simply smiles tiredly, I breathe a content sigh and look at the doctor. "We do. Willow Belle Cullen."_

_Willow for me, because I love nature themed names. Belle for Kate's grandma, who passed when Kate was a little girl._

It's insane, because I know it's going to end in more heartache, but I let my mind conjure images of Willow running along the beach with her favorite yellow soccer ball, Bella's boys running behind her. It's easiest to picture her the age she was, but I try to see her as she would be now instead and find that she's blurry, out of focus.

"She would have been twelve this year."

Willow died nine days before Bella gave birth to Jaxson and Finley. She was just two weeks away from her sixth birthday, the same age the twins are now. I didn't really grasp that until this second. The realization makes my eyes burn. I can see her schooling the boys, her blonde curls tangling in the salty sea breeze and her bright green eyes alight with joy. She was always smiling, _always_. Willow would have loved Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo. They're all made of the same stuff—sweetness and mischief and a love of life all rolled into one.

That little girl, _my _little girl, she was my everything. My whole world in one petite little spitfire five-year-old.

A split second and an out-of-control car stole her from me.

A broken promise gave them the opportunity.

"It wasn't your fault, Edward."

Bella must see the flash of surprise in my eyes. She smiles humorlessly, stroking my cheek. I realize she was catching a fallen tear when she brushes another from the other cheek.

"It wasn't," she says again, firmer this time. "I can see the guilt all over your face. You didn't get in that car and you didn't make it swerve. You did everything you could."

The doctor said the same thing the day before Willow died. I didn't believe it then, and I don't believe it now. If I'd just been there...

"_Sorry, one second. That's my wife's ringtone," I tell the contractor with a chuckle, setting down the upholstery catalogue to jog over to my phone on the bar. "K, what's up?"_

_Her agitated tone immediately has my back up, but her words have my heart falling to my feet. "I've just had a call from Willow's teacher. Why aren't you there to pick her up?"_

"_Shit, I'm sorry. I said I'd get her today, didn't I? I'll leave now, right this second. Is she okay?"_

_Kate huffs, and I can hear other voices in the background, but they're muffled. "She's fine, just...hurry up."_

_After apologizing to the contractor and promising to be back in twenty, I run out of Burger Co. to the Jeep parked right outside. Thankfully, Willow's kindergarten is only a few minutes away. Deciding we'll have time to grab an ice cream from Mrs. Paul's before we head back to the restaurant, I'm confident my princess will forgive me for running late. Honestly, with how busy we've been at Burger Co. the last couple of weeks, I'd completely forgotten that Kate was going to be in Jacksonville for work today and I was supposed to pick her up. I do the school drop-offs and pick-ups most days, so it's totally not like me to forget._

_As I pull onto the side of the road by the school, I spot her. Dressed in the bright yellow sundress she picked out this morning, Willow waves like a mad thing and bounces in her red rain boots. The girl is adorable, but she has zero fashion sense. I love that about her._

"_I'm sorry I'm late, Mrs. McKinney," I blurt out as soon as I'm close enough, the Jeep still idling in its spot behind me. "Time slipped away from me and I forgot my wife wouldn't be here."_

_Mrs. McKinney smiles, waving off my apology. "It's no problem, Mr. Cullen. Willow here is a great helper. We got the classroom all tidied up and squared away nice and neat for tomorrow, didn't we, sweetie?"_

_Beaming with pride, Willow nods and plays with one of her pigtails. They were a whole lot tidier when I did them this morning, that's for sure. At this point, I'm a pro at manhandling her curls into piggies, fishtail braids, and the like. "We did, Daddy. It's super tidy now."_

"_I bet. How about you come back to Burger Co. and help Daddy get that all tidy, too?" I ask her with a wink, grinning at her giggles._

"_Sure thing, Daddy, but it'll cost you a choco chip shake!"_

_A chocolate chip shake is a lot easier than the inevitable twenty minutes we'll spend in Mrs. Paul's shop while Willow decides what toppings she wants. "Done and done. Run and jump in the car and we'll get you that shake."_

"'_Kay. Bye, Mrs. McKinney!"_

_I'm seconds behind her. Less than that, maybe. I pause to thank her teacher again and turn to follow Willow, but she's only in front of me for a second. I'll never forget the screech of brakes or the crunch of metal just as she climbs into the backseat and the car slams into the trunk._

"Hey, hey, it's okay. I've got you," I hear over the sounds of wheezing.

Bella crawls over me, rooting me to the bed with her warm weight and her soothing words. It takes a moment for me to realize that the struggle for breath is _mine_, the wheezing is me as I relive one of the worst days of my life.

**~ oOo ~**

Brushing a feather-soft kiss over Bella's forehead, I wait with baited breath to see if it will wake her. It doesn't. She sleeps soundly, her lips slightly curled in a smile.

Quietly, I leave her bedroom after writing a note to thank her for last night and a promise to call her later. Right now, I need some space to think.

The air outside is stiflingly hot, sweat almost immediately beading on my brow. Only once I've cranked up the A/C in the Jeep do I pull away from Bella's house, shooting one last glance at the little home that's been on my street since before I moved in, but never held more significance to me than it does now.

Instead of heading home, I keep driving until I find myself outside a familiar building. The light catches on the little array of multi-colored windmills that line the path up to the front door. With no breeze to make them turn, they stand still and bright in the early morning sun. A twitch of the curtains in the upstairs window barely registers as my mind spins to make up for the motionless windmills.

Remembering the accident, remembering Willow, has opened up the floodgates. Years of repressed memories have come rushing back. Years of smiles and laughter and joy, but also of confusion and pain. Of loss and betrayal.

My chest aches as words hurled and meant to hurt me replay on a loop.

"_She's not even_—"

"Edward?"

Muffled though it is, Kendra's voice is the proverbial bucket of ice cold water I need to pull myself back to the present. Her expressive blue eyes are narrowed as she taps on the window before motioning at the gate leading to her backyard.

"My office is unlocked and the Keurig is switched on. Help yourself and I'll join you in a few minutes."

Nodding stiffly, I watch her walk back up the path and into her house, belatedly realizing that she's dressed only in a robe, plaid pajamas, and bright purple slippers. Only Kendra.

It takes me a few minutes to gather myself enough to leave the Jeep and follow the familiar stepping stone path across the grass. The gate swings open with a soft squeak. Immediately, the soothing sounds of rushing water start to calm my frayed nerves. Not the sea, but the small koi pond in the corner of the yard. Inhaling a lungful of fresh air, I follow the stepping stones further into the yard until my feet reach the worn 'welcome' mat leading into Kendra's office. It's more of a shed than an actual building, really, and I have to bend and duck my head to avoid hitting it on the doorframe as I step inside. That's a mistake I made a few times too many when I first started coming here.

As promised, Kendra doesn't keep me waiting long. I've barely sat on the chair in the corner with a coffee in my hand, another on the small end table beside her usual seat, when she appears. She's dressed now, wearing a t-shirt, jeans, and sandals. She's the total opposite of what I expected from a grief counselor, not that I'd ever anticipated needing one until it became necessary.

"What's happened? I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that _something _has, or you wouldn't be sitting outside my house at six-thirty on a Thursday morning."

"It's six-thirty?" I wonder, frowning at the still-rising sun through the porthole window. It's hot for so early in the morning, even by Florida standards.

"It _was_, when you arrived. It's seven now."

It could be ten seconds, but it could be ten minutes before she softly clears her throat and raises her eyebrows at me, her hands tented in her lap and her expression expectant.

Right. "I'm having trouble organizing my thoughts." Let's start with that.

Kendra nods slowly. "All right. How is that making you feel?"

"Confused..." I trail off, raking a hand through my hair. I realize my hand is trembling when a splash of hot coffee hits my leg. Setting it on the table beside Kendra's, I sigh. "It's...I don't know where to start."

"Try the beginning."

The narrowing of Kendra's eyes tells me she hasn't missed my flinch. Those were Bella's words, too.

"The beginning…" I whisper, shaking my head as my stomach twists and turns.

"Has something changed recently in your day-to-day life? We haven't seen each other for a few weeks. When you rescheduled your appointment, I guessed you were busy with the restaurant and decided to give you the month. I know this time of year is busy for you."

"It is," I agree, a sardonic smirk curling my lips. "I like being busy."

She smiles, too. "I know you do. It's one of the things I first noticed about you. Keeping your mind occupied is a coping mechanism you revert back to in times of stress or confusion."

It's something I hadn't really known about myself until she pointed it out, but it's obvious to me now.

There's something I do need to admit, though. "I didn't reschedule because I've been busy, although I _have _been busy."

Kendra simply nods, waiting patiently for me to continue.

"I rescheduled because I've…" _met someone _seems wrong somehow. I haven't just met Bella, and saying 'I've met someone' sounds like something I'd say if I'd started a new relationship.

That thought gives me pause. Truthfully, I haven't put much thought into what exactly it is growing between Bella and I, but labelling it isn't something I'm willing or ready to do right now. Not when my emotions are already wildly fluctuating and my equilibrium is so off-kilter. This train of thought reminds me of Bella's crestfallen expression when I admitted I don't know what we were doing at her parents' place the other day.

"You've…" Kendra prompts, reminding me of her presence.

Blowing a hard breath through my nose, I start at the beginning, like she suggested. "Bella moved back home."

It takes a moment or two, but I can see the moment Kendra's eyes light with recognition. I've spoken about Charlie and Renee a lot, and their children by extension, so Kendra will know the name.

"Bella Swan? Charlie and Renee's daughter?"

"Yes."

"That's wonderful! I'm sure they're very pleased." A few silent seconds pass, and her expression changes to one of contemplation. "Is Bella the catalyst for your struggles?"

Put that way, it sounds as though my inability to behave rationally in the face of my emotions is Bella's fault. I don't like it.

"No," I snap, immediately regretting it. "No," I say again, quieter this time. "She's been...good for me."

A smile tugs at the corners of my mouth as I think back on all she's brought to my life already, in a reasonably short space of time. Her boys, too. They make my heart hurt because they remind me of what I've lost, but they're a joy to be around. They're extensions of Bella's joy, her light. I've spent so long stumbling through the darkness of grief that any little ray of sunshine seems especially bright, but for the first time in years, I don't want to shy away from the sun.

I don't want to run from life.

"I'm glad to hear it. Were you friends before she left? Bella moved to England, didn't she?"

"Yes, and yes. We were friends before she went to England to study."

"And you've rekindled that friendship now she's back?"

_And then some. _Guilt and want war for power. This, _whatever it is_, between us...it has the potential to blow up in our faces. I can't imagine Charlie or Renee reacting positively to the news that their friend is less-than-innocent with their daughter. Though not as old as Charlie and Renee, I'm not as young as Bella, either—I'm somewhere in between. Bella is eleven years younger than me while Charlie is thirteen years older.

"Edward, can I make an observation?"

"Aren't you going to whether I agree or not?"

Kendra smirks. "Of course. But it would be nice to have your cooperation, and I know I won't get it if I don't ask your permission first."

"Have at it."

"I think Bella has come back into your life and has become a little more than a friend."

_Hit the nail on the head, why don't you?_

"I've never seen you so conflicted, so at war with yourself. When you thought of her just then, the confusion was all over your face. A friendship with a woman you've known for years and occasionally mentioned with nothing but affection wouldn't inspire those emotions in you, I don't think. Not unless something had changed."

"It has," I admit in a whisper, tugging at my hair again and shifting in my seat. "And it's complicated, she's a lot younger than me. But it's not that. I mean, I have concerns, but I…she got me to talk. About Willow."

It's funny really, that Kendra's expression remained carefully neutral when she guessed about Bella and I, yet her eyes widen and her mouth slackens for a beat when I admit that I spoke about my daughter.

"And how, um...how did that happen?"

Smiling despite myself, because Kendra is somebody who doesn't wear surprise well, I sigh. "I got overwhelmed, but she caught me before I could run."

Shortening the story for her sake and mine, I skip the part where I carried Bella to her bedroom to thoroughly distract myself before she managed to prise my thoughts from me with nothing more than her gentle touch and soft plea. Kendra comments in all the places she deems it necessary, commending me on holding it together long enough to share some of my memories with Bella. There's no stopping some of those soul-crushing days rushing back into my mind as I speak, the pain in my chest ratcheting up a notch.

"_But she _will _wake up, won't she?"_

_The doctor's face is carefully blank, but the twitch of his lips gives him away. My knees soften, the wall at my back bracing me. "It's a waiting game, Mr. Cullen. We've done all we can, now we just have to wait. We can't ascertain exactly what damage has been caused unless she wakes up."_

_Unless. He said 'unless,' not 'until.'_

_And, three days later, 'unless' becomes a moot point. Willow doesn't, and won't ever, wake up._

"Edward, take a deep breath for me. That's it. In...and out. In through your nose, out through your mouth. There we go."

For the second time in twenty-four hours, I find myself being coached out of what I easily recognize as a panic attack. Kendra quietly counts out twenty deep breaths, praising me with a gentle smile when I open my eyes and croak my thanks.

"Don't thank me yet. I'm going to make this day worse before it gets better."

_Fantastic._

Settling herself back in her seat, she folds her hands in her lap again and eyes me. "Are you all right?"

"Better." My breaths come easier with every passing second, but the familiar prickle of a fast-approaching headache stabs at my temples.

Of course, because my morning isn't heading into the toilet fast enough, the next words out of Kendra's mouth are, "I'd like to talk about your relationship with your ex-wife today, if that's all right."

* * *

**Next chapter: Wednesday**

**My posting schedule may get a little wonky over the next two weeks or so. I have a few days off now, then I'll be doing 2am starts up until the day before Christmas Eve. You'll definitely still get your updates, but they may not be at the same times/the same days as usual. I'll try to keep to the schedule as much as possible. Also, side question: does it ever bother you if I post early? I have very limited self-control and I'm often tempted.**

**If you haven't already, come join the TFMU Twific Meetup group on Facebook! A big group of us are meeting in Austin, Texas, in June 2020 and I'd love to see you there if you can make it! A little bunch of us are travelling over from the UK, and I think for at least a few of us, it'll be our first time. Everybody is welcome whether you're a reader, writer, beta, banner maker...we want to see you all!**

**As always, huge thanks to my wonderful team of ladies who call me on my bull and point out when I'm being too liberal with my 'it's fiction' excuse. **annaharding, LizziePaige, ThatSoAlex, Anakinsmom, **and** LadyLoonie, **I love you all dearly.**

**And I love each and every one of you who reads, reviews, and recommends this little tale of mine. Come friend me on Facebook - Ciara Shayee Hill - to chit chat with me and see the visuals I create to go with each chapter.**


	17. Chapter 17 - Bella

**I'm in a celebratory mood today, and most of you said you like early updates, soooo...**

**Pinky Promises, my FF-turned-OFIC, was published on Kindle a year ago today! It's free right now so if you want to give it a read, download the free Kindle app if you haven't got it already and you can get Laker and Indie's story for absolutely nothing. Bargain, right? I'll put the summary at the bottom of this chapter.**

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen**

_**Bella**_

"Can I have the _Spiderman _one, Momma? Please?" Arlo quickly adds, flashing me a hopeful grin.

Nodding distractedly, I pull the _Spiderman _lunch box from the shelf and add it to the cart with Jaxson's and Finley's picks.

"What else do we need, Momma?" Jaxson asks, tugging at the crumpled list in my hand.

"Oh, uh." Smoothing it out, I realize we only have art supplies left to pick up before we're all prepared for school. Thinking about how miserable I'll be when they all go off to school in a few weeks is a great distraction from thinking about how confused and worried I was when I woke up to Edward's note this morning.

He hasn't called yet, but it's still not quite noon. _There's still time_, I tell myself, attempting to be a good parent and pay attention to my sons as they drag me around the store until we've picked out enough art supplies to make me wince when the cashier announces the total due.

Corralling them out to the car, I make them each take their own bag of stuff. I don't have enough hands to carry it all _and _hang onto the boys as we cross the parking lot.

"Momma? Can we use our new stuff when we get home? I wanna draw a picture."

Thinking quickly, because I definitely don't want Arlo using all his new things before school even starts, I decide on the perfect distraction.

"Not today, kiddo, we're going to see Nana and Papa."

The boys cheer in the backseat, thankfully too busy chatting amongst themselves to question my quietness as I chew my lip and wonder if I pushed Edward too far last night. My heart breaks when I remember the way his entire body turned to stone as he relived horrors I can't even imagine. Just the thought of seeing what he saw, going through what he had to...it would kill me. I don't think I'd survive it. Guilt and worry had clawed at me for every second it took to get him to regulate his breathing. Until last night, I don't think I'd ever seen someone have a real panic attack, but I'm pretty sure that's what it was.

Falling asleep curled against his chest hours later, I'd expected to be able to see for myself how he was when we woke up. Instead, I woke to cool sheets and a slip of paper with his messy scrawl promising a call later.

_When, exactly, is 'later?'_

**~ oOo ~**

Once the boys are content splashing in the pool, Everly coaching them through the techniques they've learned during their first two swim school sessions, I sit with Mom at the patio table and try to sound noncommittal when I ask a question that's been on my mind on and off for years.

"What happened to Kate?"

If she's surprised that I'm asking, Mom's face doesn't show it. I guess she just assumes being back and spending time around Edward has made me curious.

She sighs long and low, shaking her head with a sad little grimace. "Do you remember when she moved here, honey?"

Frowning, I purse my lips. "I _think so_. Didn't she come out a while after Edward?"

"A few years," Mom nods. "She had a job back in Utah that had good security and benefits, apparently. She stayed there while he worked to get their new life set up here."

I sort of knew that much. I remember seeing girls and women much older than Edward throwing themselves at him at the hotel when I used to run around there, playing cards with Grant, the elevator attendant, and persuading Edward to let me help when he had to bus luggage from reception to holidaymakers' rooms and back again. He always shot them down politely, highlighting his wedding ring. Later, I would eavesdrop on his conversations with Mom and Dad when they thought I was too busy to be paying any attention to learn more about him. That's how I learned that she was his high school sweetheart.

"She went part-time to move here, though, right?"

"So she said," Mom snorts, picking apart the napkin in her hands. "It was all a ruse to get Edward to believe that she was committed to the relocation. She never intended to live here full-time. Between him moving here and finishing the house, her job description changed. She never had to go into an office if she didn't want to. Kate worked from home. She could have worked from anywhere."

My frown deepens. "So...she lied?"

"Yes, she lied." Seeming to remember that it's her friend's life she's gossiping about, Mom blinks hard and plasters a smile on her face. "He's well rid of her, that's for sure."

Before she can get up and walk away, I force myself to ask one more question. "Did she leave him?"

Hesitating, Mom gazes down at me, her eyes probing and narrowed. I hope she doesn't see anything but curiosity reflected back at her. "Yes," she finally says, sighing deep before adding, "she waited for the funeral and handed him divorce papers the following day."

My eyes follow her as she crosses the patio to crouch by the pool, her lips moving but her voice drowned out by the rushing in my ears.

I flew back for the funeral—for Willow's funeral. Jaxson and Finley were two weeks old by the time the coroner released her, and I couldn't miss it. Jude watched them for me. They were perfectly fine with her, and I couldn't _not _be there for Edward though I couldn't even begin to grasp the depths of his despair.

The image of him, silent and broken at his daughter's graveside, will be burned into my memory for the rest of my life. His leg was heavily padded with bandages, the result of a jagged piece of metal cutting through muscle as he tried to rescue Willow from the wreck. Flashes of newspaper clippings fly through my mind; a Jeep on its side, a totalled sedan, and a little girl's toothy smile lost forever.

Vague memories of Kate being there linger on the periphery. She was distraught, obviously, but it was clear her heart wasn't here in Jackson Bay. She longed to be somewhere else. When she left just days after the funeral, I assumed it was to return to her family for comfort. I thought it was odd she didn't stay with her husband, but I didn't realize it was because she had already filed divorce papers.

_Less than a month after their daughter died._

Back in England days later, busy caring for two newborns, I'd missed most of what happened right after Willow's funeral, but I heard bits and pieces from Mom, Everly, and Rosalie.

I know Edward spiralled downward into depression and wound up seeing a therapist. I know Dad took over running the restaurant until Edward showed up for the first time in six months and insisted he was okay to be back. I know that he still lives in the house he renovated with his wife and future children in mind, and that everybody worries about him working himself into an early grave to keep his memories at bay.

I also know that my teenage crush is most definitely deepening into something far stronger, far more permanent. Falling for Edward is as unexpected as it is likely to cause issues, but it's happening, nonetheless. I know enough of love to recognize my feelings for what they are. I'm not there yet, but I can see myself falling hard.

The sudden blare of my cell ringing in my jacket pocket across the table makes me leap up to reach for it. Mom shoots me an odd look but nods and promises to stay with Everly and the boys while I take the call inside.

"Hello? Edward?"

_"Hey, short stuff," _he breathes, a smile stretching across my face because I can hear his in his voice. _"I'm sorry for running away this morning. I just needed some time."_

"No, I'm sorry, Edward. I pushed you too hard last night."

_"Can I come over, can I come see you?"_

Twisting the end of my plait between my fingers, I contemplate. "I'm at Mom and Dad's. We're not staying for dinner...you could come over to my house, I'll cook?"

He hesitates a moment before agreeing, and it's only as I say 'goodbye' and hang up that I realize it might be hard for him to be around the boys after such an emotional conversation last night.

**~ oOo ~**

When the doorbell rings later that afternoon, my heart sputters before taking off at a sprint.

"I've got it!" Arlo yells, running for the door. Edward texted a few minutes ago to say he was coming over and ask if he could bring anything, so I feel confident letting my son open the door unaccompanied, but I pause tossing the salad to listen to the conversation in the other room.

"Hey, buddy."

"Edward! Momma says you're havin' dinner with us."

"That's right. Is that okay with you?"

I guess Arlo shrugs or nods, because it's quiet until Edward chuckles and I hear their footsteps moving toward me. As they step into the kitchen, Edward says, "I like your shirt."

My eyes drop to the writing on Arlo's red tank top even though I know what it says.

_Having a weird mom builds character_

"It's cool, huh?" Arlo beams, flashing me a grin. "Momma's weird but she says it's okay 'cause all the cool people are weird."

Butterflies take up residence in my stomach as Edward offers me a soft, crooked smile and nods, resting his hand on Arlo's messy mop of hair. "Your momma's right, bud."

"Okay, Lo, dinner is almost ready. Can you go wash up and get your brothers, please?"

"Sure!"

With Arlo thundering down the hall, yelling for Jaxson and Finley, I'm left alone with Edward. Electricity crackles between us as he sighs quietly and closes the gap in two big strides, the warmth of his hand burning through my thin tank top as it comes to rest on my waist. After all the high emotions of last night, I promised myself I wouldn't jump him as soon as he walked in the door. I didn't anticipate the way my entire body would yearn to be closer to his the second he came within a few feet of me.

"H-hi," I stutter, my cheeks flaming.

His lips curl up higher, his eyes crinkled with amusement. He's trimmed his beard since last night, I notice, the strands a little less unkempt, his jaw a little more defined. "Hi."

Just when I think he's going to lean in for a kiss, the boys' thumping footsteps sound on the hardwood and we spring apart; him with a groan, me with a wry, apologetic wince.

"Later," he mouths as the wolves descend on him, Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo all demanding his attention. Leaving him to it, but keeping a careful eye, I tell them to get comfy at the table while I finish up the sides for our pizza feast.

Keeping some of our old traditions from England is important to me, so I've made sure to keep Pizza Thursdays and Pancake Mondays on the menu. Routine is important for kids. Pizza Thursdays has always been the boys' favorite because I let them make the pizzas we eat. They get to help mix and roll the dough and pick all the toppings. Sometimes I have to curb their overly generous handfuls or adjust the spread of them, but for the most part, pizzas are the boys' show.

When I set the three large pizzas on the wooden boards on the table, I smirk at the dramatic rise of Edward's eyebrows. He's seeing the smiley face made out of peppers on one and the less-than-even coverage of pepperoni on one of the others.

"That's my one, Edward," Arlo tells him seriously, pointing to where he spread a thick layer of pepperoni over two thirds of the dough before leaving the last section bare except for a sprinkle of cheese.

"It looks, uh, great?"

Arlo beams, puffing up with pride, as Edward helps himself to a big slice and makes a show of giving him a thumbs up after taking the first bite.

It makes my momma-heart happy, seeing Edward and my boys together. Throughout dinner, they give me enough butterflies to make me feel like my head is spinning. Over pizza, salad, and homemade cheesy garlic bread, Edward patiently listens to all their stories. They range from topics like swim school with Aunt Everly, to hanging out at In The Bay with Mom and Dad, to playing soccer with Bailee and Lakely at the park this afternoon between leaving Mom's and coming home.

"Lakely is my girlfriend," Arlo tells him frankly, wiping tomato sauce from his chin with the back of his arm.

"Is that so?" Edward asks with a wry smile, glancing my way. I roll my eyes and don't even try to hide my own grin.

"Uh huh. I had a girlfriend in England, but she's too far away now."

Edward barks a chuckle, trying and failing to disguise it as a cough. "Long distance relationships can be hard."

Arlo narrows his eyes but I can see his lips twisting up. "What? It's true! Tell him, Momma."

"It's true." I manage to sound somewhat serious—enough to placate Arlo, at least. He settles back down to his food, and dinner continues.

When we're all done, Edward insists on tackling the dishes while I sit at the breakfast bar and enjoy a glass of the lemonade Mom sent home with us. It's delicious, sweet and tart at the same time, but it's the new memories that I associate with it that have me grinning as the boys attempt to help Edward load the dishwasher.

The night of the almost kiss at Burger Co., we were drinking Mom's spiked lemonade.

Edward glances over at me at one point, his gaze narrowing slightly. "I think we're all done here, boys. Do you think you're up to showing me some tricks on the trampoline? I just want to talk to your momma for a sec, then we'll be out."

"Yes!" Jaxson crows, hopping down from the stool he was standing on. "Can we, Momma?"

"Sure. Be careful, though," I say, but my eyes are on Edward and the darkening moss of his eyes.

The boys don't need telling twice. They take off without hesitation, leaving me in an increasingly warm kitchen with a man who looks like he's two seconds away from devouring me despite putting away almost a whole pizza by himself.

I don't have a chance to say a word—not that I'm sure what I would say—before Edward has rounded the counter and spun me on my bar stool, his lips coming down hard on mine in a demanding kiss full of passion and building expectation of where it might lead. I exhale a breathy sigh into his mouth, holding him to me by his soft hair. The rasp of his beard against my skin is heaven, his large hand gripping my thigh weighting me to the seat; without his hold, I feel as though I'd float clean away.

As is common with a trio of young sons, the moment is broken by the sound of yelling through the open window.

"_Hey! You jumped on my leg!"_

"_Shit_," I pant, dropping my head to rest my forehead against Edward's heaving chest. His hold on me loosens as he sucks in a deep breath and presses a lingering kiss to the top of my head.

"I'll go," he offers, squeezing my leg before doing just that. I'm left with a foggy head and a dawning realization that resisting Edward is going to prove almost impossible now that I know how good it is when I cave.

**~ oOo ~**

"You have _got _to be kidding me."

I feel like I say that _a lot _when I'm at Vaughn's. At least once a shift. When I head in for my shift on Monday morning, I can immediately see that I've got my work cut out for me. The store is a mess, there's stock piled up all over the place waiting to be put out, and a queue of confused people waiting to pay while Jane's voice echoes loudly from the store room.

"_So I told her, 'Beatrice, you can't just steal her man,' and she said_—"

"Jane!" I call through gritted teeth, rushing behind the counter where I toss my bag down and punch my log-in details into the register before plastering an apologetic smile on my face. "I'm so sorry for the wait, Mrs. Paul."

"Oh, it's no problem, lovey."

Thankfully, the four customers who've been waiting Lord-knows-how-long are pleasant and accept my apology for their wait with grace. In the time it takes for me to get them all rung up and waved out the door, Jane wraps her call and joins me, her usual scowl firmly in place and her arms crossed over her chest.

"What was so important you had to disturb my business call?"

_Business call, right. And I'm the Queen of bloody England._

"We had customers, Jane," I sigh, rubbing my forehead. I can already feel a headache approaching and I've only been here ten minutes. "They were standing here waiting while listening to you on the phone to your friend."

Her lips tighten into a sneer. Her uncle is the biggest wet lettuce I've ever met. He lets her get away with everything, so she's not used to being called out on her bullshit. "I'll have you know—"

She's cut off my familiar, pounding footsteps and my youngest son's face appearing in the doorway. He looks around, his face lighting up in a grin when he spots me. "Momma, look what Edward gave me!"

My smile at the personalized 'Arlo' plastic cup in my son's hands evaporates when nobody appears behind him.

"What is this, Mommy Daycare? You're _working_, Bella."

"Lo, kiddo, who brought you over here?" I ask, crouching in front of him and ignoring Jane bitching over my shoulder.

"Nobody, I came by myself. Nana and Jax and Finn are in Burger Co. with Papa and Edward so I came to see you."

Frustration and fear worm their way up my spine as I briefly consider all the things that could have happened to him in the twenty or so feet between Burger Co.'s front door and here. There's a busy road, the parking lot, anybody could have been passing by and seen him by himself…

"Arlo, does anybody know you left?"

"No, Momma," he tells me with a grin. "I'm a big kid, and I wanted to come see you."

I'm halfway through explaining to him that he should never run away from the adult looking after him when Jane infuriates me by opening her vicious mouth. At the same time, I hear a door slam and thumping feet on the asphalt outside.

"Look, you little brat. Bella has to work, she doesn't have time for you—"

"Hey, lady, I'm not a brat!" Arlo snaps, little hand on his hip as he stamps his foot.

I briefly see Edward skidding into the store before I stand, spinning to face Jane with fire licking my veins. "What did you just say?"

"Chill, buddy. Your mom has this," Edward says quietly, Arlo harrumphing behind me.

Jane's eyes widen as she takes a small step back. That's right, bitch. You've just woken Momma Bear. Nobody calls my kids names except me, and that's only because I've earned that right through twenty hours of labor and four years of wiping his boogers, holding him when he falls down, and putting up with his shenanigans. This bottle-blonde with less brains than my left shoe hasn't earned the right to even _look _at my babies, let alone talk to them like she just dared to.

"_Nobody_, least of all _you_, gets to speak to my child like that. You don't get to call him names, either. Not unless you want me to hand you your ass on a platter. Do you understand me?"

"Ooh, Momma, you said a bad word."

If I weren't spitting-feathers mad, I might have laughed, like Edward does, at Arlo's gleefully hissed words.

Cocking her hip and sticking her nose in the air, Jane screws up her face and attempts to look threatening even though I can see the nerves in her eyes. She takes half a step back. "You don't speak to me like that. I'm your boss—"

"No, you're not. Not anymore."

Impulsive decisions aren't my thing. They never tend to work out well for me. However, in this case, I don't see another option. I can't work in a place like this with someone like her. I'll end up in jail.

"I quit," I decide with a sudden burst of confidence, enjoying the worry that takes hold of Jane's features. She knows as well as I do that with me gone, she'll have to buck up her ideas and actually work for a change. Feeling unexpectedly joyous, I grin as I unsnap my name badge from my shirt and slap it into her hand. My grin remains as I lean in and enjoy the fear in her eyes. "If you _ever_, and I mean _ever_, speak to any of my sons again, I will wipe the floor with you."

"You have to work a week's notice!" she bleats as I round the counter to get my bag. "You forfeit this month's wages if you walk out without working your notice period."

_Shit. _She's right. I remember agreeing to that when I signed my contract. "Fine. I'll work my notice period, but that's it. And I won't be coming in early or leaving late, either."

Before she has a chance to say another word, I grab Arlo's hand and all but drag him from the store, mindful of Edward following close behind us. It isn't until we're in Edward's office in Burger Co., Mom following once she settles Arlo back at their table with Jaxson, Dad, and Finley, that I deflate a little.

"Shit. I just quit my job, didn't I?"

Edward nods with a faint smile; I can see pride and amusement there. Worry, too. "In pretty spectacular fashion, short stuff."

"What happened?" Mom frets, brushing my hair away from my face. "Are you all right? I'm so sorry Arlo got away from us. He was there one second, and he'd disappeared the next."

"It's okay, Mom," I sigh, closing my eyes and shaking my head as the adrenaline drains from my body and reality sets in. "I need a new job. Crap. I'm never going to find anything with convenient hours like I had there."

"I think we can work something out."

The offer doesn't come from Mom, but Edward. My eyes flash open and find his face as he shrugs, a definite twinkle in his eyes as he says, "I'm sure we can put you to work."

Chewing my lip, I mull it over. "You'd do that?"

"Of course. I was going to offer you a job, anyway. I decided after you helped me out that night, I just wasn't sure how to broach it."

Mom grins and claps her hands together. "See? There we go, what a perfect solution. Edward here will look after you, won't you?" As Mom loops her arm around his waist, she misses the wink he shoots me along with a mouthed "You bet I will."

"Absolutely. The position will be full-time until Tan comes back, but we'll still need somebody part-time when she returns."

Mom excuses herself to return to Dad and the boys, leaving Edward to run through the hours he's proposing. "You can keep your later shifts on Wednesdays and Thursdays if they work for you, and we can fit the rest in around the boys. New Kid—uh, Xavier, he's been asking to switch his lunch shifts for lates, so you could take the shifts he drops."

"That sounds...pretty perfect, actually."

I'll have to take on one more day than what I've been doing at Vaughn's, but it's a good trade off for working somewhere I actually enjoy spending time.

My mind wanders to the pros of having Edward at arm's reach, then to the cons of working in such close proximity to him when he's already such a huge distraction. He pulled his glasses on to look over the schedule pinned to the back of the door, and I don't have words for how ridiculously hot he is with them perched on his nose as he rubs his beard and studies the board.

My lip disappears between my teeth, a smile stretching my lips when he turns to see why I haven't responded to whatever question he asked while I was busy eye-fucking him.

"Oh so that's how it's going to be, huh?" he snorts, his gaze heating up. "I think I'm going to enjoy having you work for me, short stuff."

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**Next chapter: Wednesday**

**My posting schedule may get a little wonky over the next two weeks or so. I have a few days off now, then I'll be doing 2am starts up until the day before Christmas Eve. You'll definitely still get your updates, but they may not be at the same times/the same days as usual. I'll try to keep to the schedule as much as possible.**

**Pinky Promises summary for those of you who are interested: **"When two little girls were allowed to walk home from school one bright spring day, nobody could have predicted the events that followed—the way two families were torn apart by the vendetta of a crazy man.

Indie Ashby has spent twelve years in captivity protecting her best friend, Grace Davies, from their captor and tormentor. She's been beaten down and bruised, but there's nothing she wouldn't do to regain their freedom. Then there's Marley—the silent child who clings to her. Where did she come from? Frightened and forced to fend for themselves, with all hope for escape dwindling, they need a miracle. But most of all, they need the help of an unlikely hero.

Laker McKinley lost faith in the world and the justice system when his best friend's family fell apart after losing Indie and Grace. He's spent the past decade burying himself in music and hiding in Italy. An unexpected phone call and a plea for help starts a chain of events which will irrevocably alter the course of his life, but will he take the leap of faith?

It's been twelve long years—Indie and Grace will have to fight to take back their lives. He's deranged, but they're desperate.

If only it were as simple as escaping."

**As always, huge thanks to my wonderful team of ladies who call me on my bull and point out when I'm being too liberal with my 'it's fiction' excuse. **annaharding, LizziePaige, ThatSoAlex, Anakinsmom, **and** LadyLoonie, **I love you all dearly.**

**And I love each and every one of you who reads, reviews, and recommends this little tale of mine. Come friend me on Facebook - Ciara Shayee Hill - to chit chat with me and see the visuals I create to go with each chapter.**


	18. Chapter 18 - Edward

**I can't sleep and it's technically Wednesday now, so here you go. This one is kind of short compared to the others, so you'll probably get the next one a smidge early.**

**Y'all were as happy as I expected you'd be when Bella finally quit her dumb job. Time will tell how successful she and Edward are at keeping themselves to themselves now they're living a few houses apart _and _working together ;)**

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen**

_**Edward**_

In true form, we have our quietest day of the week on the day we have all our staff in.

Garrett is back after his paternity leave and Kelly returns after her three-day sickness bug, or whatever-the-fuck it was. By four, I've got nothin' to do except twiddle my thumbs. I hate being idle. My mind wanders. That's never a good thing.

"Yo, boss!"

Cocking an eyebrow at New Kid, I fold my arms over my chest. "'Yo?' Where do you think you are, the skate park?"

The two girls he's serving giggle while his cheeks flash red.

_Oops, guess I embarrassed him. Never mind._

"Why you gotta bust my chops all the time?"

"Oh, I've gotta hear this," I hear Jones mutter from the hatch before he hurries around to join me behind the bar with an expectant grin on his face.

Pursing my lips, I shake my head. There are a million reasons, but I don't have the energy to list 'em all. I go with the simple explanation. "Honestly? Because you make it _so easy_."

The girls at table four find this hilarious and crack up. I sort of feel bad for a second until I realize one of them is shooting the kid sympathetic goo-goo eyes.

With a roll of my eyes, I throw a thumb over my shoulder and address Garrett as he returns from the bathroom. "I'll be in my office if you need me."

Looking at the half-empty restaurant, I doubt I'll be needed any time soon, but Garrett agrees and heads over to the family in the window to check everything is okay with their meal. As I round the bar and head down the hall to my office, my eyes can't help but catch on the kid at their table. She's four or five, long red hair in pigtails. A tiny little thing. Her gap-toothed smile makes my chest ache.

Willow always loved having her hair in 'piggies,' as she called them. And just a few days before the accident that stole her from me, she lost her first tooth after falling over in the playground. I almost broke my damn neck tiptoeing into her room and around all her toys once she was asleep, so 'the tooth fairy' could put a dollar under her pillow.

Shaking my head, I tug at my hair and sigh. I'm usually good at repressing my memories. Spilling my guts to Bella has opened the floodgates, it seems.

I'm almost at my office when I hear a voice that stops me in my tracks.

"Hey, Garrett. I know it's against Edward's rules if we're not buying food, but can Arlo use your restroom, please?"

"Sure, Bella. Hey, little guy. How're you doin'?"

"I need to pee," Arlo says frankly—and loudly.

I smile to myself and do an about-turn. Bella's just about to step through the door into the restrooms with Arlo in her arms and the twins trailing behind them, but she pauses for a second to offer me a grin that has my stomach flip-flopping.

Turning to Garrett, I click my tongue. "Always breakin' the rules for the pretty girls, huh?"

He's completely unrepentant, of course. He flashes me a weird look before shaking it off. "Hey, the kid's wearing a Jacksonville Gators hat. We Gator fans have gotta stick together."

"Sorry, excuse me? Please can we have another round of drinks?"

Waving Garrett off, I offer the table beside us a grin. "Of course. What can I get for you?"

By the time I've made a fresh round of drinks, Arlo is done in the restroom. I hear the muffled "Arlo, wait!" seconds before his little body slams into my legs. This has become his usual way of greeting me. Whenever Renee or Charlie or Benjamin, or whoever has got the boys while Bella works, brings them by, Arlo announces their arrival by skidding all over the place, usually careening into me in the process.

Peering down with a rueful smile, I can't help but chuckle. "Hi, buddy. Nice shirt." Today's tee is plain white with a green, sunglass-wearing cactus in the center along with the words 'Can't Touch This.' It matches his green soccer cap. At this point, I'm pretty sure he has a collection of funny shirts. While Bella often dresses Jaxson and Finley in matching outfits, Arlo is rarely without a silly slogan or amusing graphic.

"Hey, Edward."

"Where're your mom and brothers?"

Briefly looking back over his shoulder and catching sight of his pursed-lipped mom winding between tables while Jaxson and Finley talk to the boy at table four, Arlo turns back to me with his bright eyes rammed full of mischief. "She's comin'. Save me, 'kay?"

_This kid. _"Sure thing."

"Arlo Maxwell Swan, if I have to tell you _one more time_ about running off…"

"I'm sorry, Momma. I was just excited to see Edward."

Bella huffs a long sigh; she looks stressed. I suddenly realize she's in her usual work attire for Vaughn's but loading down with three little backpacks, not to mention her boys.

"Are you working tonight?" It's not Wednesday or Thursday, her usual late shifts. I'd know. I look forward to our time spent driving home. Since we made nice, she's back to riding home with me after she gets off work. She's usually off on a Friday though, and the last shift of her notice period is next Monday.

"Yeah, Jane called in sick and Aro is out of town. Which would be fine if it weren't such late notice and I had a chance to get a sitter for these crazy kiddos."

Proudly, Arlo tells me, "I'm a crazy kiddo."

Ruffling his hair with a smile, I admit that I don't doubt it. Looking back at Bella with a frown, I can see she's worrying her lip to death with her teeth. Over the last couple of weeks, I've gotten quite attached to those lips. Yesterday and the day before, after driving Bella home from work, we made use of the boys' ability to sleep through anything and I let her use me as an outlet for all of her frustration after working with Jane.

We've managed a few chaste kisses here and there—when I stopped in on Tuesday to drop off some Burger Co. tees ready for her first official shift next week; when she came to find me in my office between finishing her shift at Vaughn's on Tuesday and picking the boys up from swim school with Everly; and earlier today, when I drove past her dragging out the trash can for collection day and couldn't resist pulling up to hear her voice, just for a few moments, before I headed to therapy with Kendra. When she visited on Tuesday we had lunch in my office and she invented a new burger with a bunch of Italian-themed ingredients, declaring it her new favorite. The noises she made while eating it led to me mauling her over my desk.

I'm addicted. My mind swims with thoughts of her whenever I'm not keeping it busy.

"What about Charlie and Rae? Can they not watch them?"

"They're out of town, at that—"

"Funeral," we both say at the same time, and I remember Charlie mentioning it last week. "It's in Illinois, right?"

"Yep, so I'm pretty much in the shit. If I don't work, there's no-one to open the store and I wouldn't put it past Jane to make sure I lose the last month's money despite me working my notice period, but I can't take the boys with me."

My mind spins a mile a minute. There's only one option, really.

"What about if they hang out here, with me? It's right next door, and I can give you all a ride home when you're done."

I'm starting to get to know the woman Bella has become, so I know this is the time she'd usually thank me before turning down my offer, but she's desperate.

She doesn't _need _this job. Her parents would gladly support her and the boys for as long as she'd let them. However, I know she really wants to work and pay her own way. The defeat and gratefulness battle for power in her gray gaze as her shoulders rise and fall with her deep breath.

"Are you sure?" Arlo has wandered off to find his polaroid on the wall with Garrett, so Bella murmurs, "I love them, but they're kind of a handful. You've seen them in action."

_How hard can it be?_

"We'll be fine, trust me. We can hang out in my office, maybe walk down to the beach for a bit. It's not like we're short-staffed."

The restaurant is starting to fill up a little, and we've had a party of nine call to reserve a table for seven p.m., but we've got a full house staff-wise and they'll be more than able to manage without me. I can occupy the boys and get some paperwork done that I've been putting off. Win-win.

"If you're sure…" she smiles slightly. "I don't really have a choice, to be honest. I'll get a jump on the cleaning so I can be done earlier. Everything they might need is in these bags."

For small backpacks, the bags Bella hands me are anything but light.

"And Arlo's getting really good at asking to use the bathroom but you have to remind him sometimes. Oh, and they've eaten dinner but they might get cranky later if they're tired, so you can give them a snack if you want to. But don't feel like you have to—"

Snorting, I set the bags on the bar and gently take Bella's shoulders in my hands. "Bella, we'll be fine. Say 'bye' to your boys and get goin'."

Watching Bella pepper her sons' faces with kisses and demand hugs before she goes has my chest tightening even as I admit that they're adorable as hell together. That adoration between parent and child, it's second to none.

I miss it.

And I'm a touch jealous that she doesn't plant one on me, too.

"Be good for Edward, okay? I'm right next door so he can tell me if you misbehave."

Garrett and I both laugh as, in tandem, Arlo, Jaxson, and Finley draw crosses over their hearts and solemnly tell her they'll be good.

The mischievous as hell smiles on their faces say otherwise, but really, how wild can three little boys be?

**~ oOo ~**

By the time Bella double-taps on the office door before letting herself in, I've realized the error of my thoughts.

_Fuckin' hell, these kids are something._

Her eyes widen when she spots her youngest sprawled across my chest, but soften as she finds Jaxson and Finley curled around each other on one of the bucket chairs on the other side of my desk. I wonder what she's thinking as my gaze moves around the room. It looks like a tornado hit. There are scribbled-on pieces of paper strewn all over as well as the crayons Garrett brought in from out front. The remains of their snacks consist of just some wrappers and an apple, which Finley flat-out refused to eat.

Bella shakes her head with a barely-stifled grin when her gaze returns to me and Arlo. He's in the pajamas I found in his backpack when I went looking for dry clothes after he spilled juice all down himself. I've swapped my Burger Co. tee for a spare I had in a drawer, his drool seeping through the fabric over my chest. The juice debacle robbed us both. I thought taking them to have a run along the shore was a great idea until I realized that salty sea air and the fading evening sunshine was making them more hyper than tired.

_"C'mon, Edward!"_

_Chuckling, I scoop Arlo's flip-flops out of the sand and tuck them into the pocket of my cargo shorts, hurrying it up so I can somewhat keep up with him and his brothers. As soon as we hit the sand, they took off._

_There are a fair amount of people still out enjoying the fading evening sun, so I'm careful to keep a close eye on Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo as they splash in the shallow waves and eventually persuade me to join them._

_Ankle-deep in the ocean with the sun on my back and the boys giggling their butts off when a stray wave soaks my shorts, I can't help but feel like I'm in way over my head with this family. They're a bunch of sweethearts._

"Did you have fun?"

I'm about to say 'hell no,' then I acknowledge the tired but amused smile on my face and the warmth in my chest as Arlo shifts against me, his little arms tightening around my neck. Jaxson lets out a quiet snore and Finley somehow sleeps through it, even though his twin basically breathed it directly into his ear.

The boys took up all my attention, but we had a blast. I didn't get any work done and the restaurant was hopping, so they probably could have done with an extra set of hands, but still…

"I did, actually. They're a riot."

Bella's laughter is soft, but it makes my smile widen. "You're not kidding. I hope they were okay? I meant to run over and check, but we had a big delivery."

"They were fine, Bella, don't worry. They ate everythin' except the apple," I tell her, nodding at the unblemished fruit on the corner of my desk. My smile widens when she nods and knowingly says 'Finley.' "And we demolished some fries and shakes."

The relief that blankets her is immediate and obvious; I'm glad I offered to help her out. She looks shattered and overwhelmed. I know she has another shift at Vaughn's before she's free, but I can't wait for her to be done at that place. I also can't help but feel guilty for dragging this out so long. If I'd worked through my issues sooner, she could have been out of there and happy working here weeks ago. It just took me a while to sort through my thoughts and figure my shit out. "I hope you don't mind, but I left them with Garrett for a few and used my spare keys to get their seats from your mom and dad's."

Frowning, she toys with the thin silver chain around her neck. "Their seats?" Her slightly glazed eyes and ensuing yawn tell me she's not completely with it, tiredness catching up with her.

With a faint smile, I nod, wincing when the chair squeaks under me. Arlo snores before sighing and snuggling into my neck. "For the car…"

"Oh! I didn't even think...thank you."

"Momma?" Finley mumbles, carefully sitting up. His bleary-eyed blinks are adorable.

"I'm here, kiddo."

"I need to go potty."

As Bella gently shakes Jaxson awake to check if he needs the restroom, too, I tell her, "I'll lock everything up and meet you out front."

"Okay. Do you want me to…?"

My arm reflexively tightens around Arlo as she motions to take him. "We're good, I'm good."

Her lips curl up. "I see that," she murmurs before leading Jaxson and Finley to the restrooms. By the time I've one-handedly double-checked all the doors and switches, she and the boys are out front. I folded Arlo's, uh, _drawings_—the kid's cute, but he's no artist—and put them in his backpack with his empty lunchbox.

"All set?"

Bella just nods before heading to the Jeep to buckle in Jaxson and Finley. While I wait, I swallow down the lump in my throat and rub Arlo's back with my free hand as he fidgets and whines in his sleep. The moon above is bright, reflecting off the windshield of the car beside mine. As I gaze at my reflection I can't help but wonder over the content smile on my face. Whenever I look in the mirror these days, on a good day, I'm looking at my own scowl. This smile is unfamiliar, like an old, ill-fitting suit I only pull out for special occasions.

Rather than hand him over, I carefully sit Arlo in his seat before stepping away to let Bella buckle him in. Closing the door loudly enough that I wince, expecting the boys to jolt awake, Bella laughs and reminds me that they sleep like the dead.

Unbidden, scenarios where Bella might have used this to her advantage pop into my head. I don't like the lead ball that drops into the pit of my stomach when I consider that I'm probably not the first to have thought it was handy that they sleep so well while I ravage their momma.

A long, loud yawn makes Bella's eyes water and pulls me out of my ridiculous thoughts. Smiling, I start up the engine and steer us toward home. Now they live on the same street as me, it's just a short, five-minute drive. The balmy air wafts Bella's perfume at me. I know I sure don't smell as good as she does after a whole shift.

A little conscious of the fact that I've been in a hot kitchen this afternoon as well as running around with the boys, I roll my window down a little more.

"So. Wild weekend for you and the boys?"

"Nah," Bella laughs, tilting her head to face me. "We're actually going to a shelter in Jacksonville to pick out a dog tomorrow."

"Oh, nice," I chuckle. "I bet the boys are stoked."

"I haven't—_yawn_, excuse me—told them yet. They'd have driven me mad if I told them when I made the appointment last week."

Humming, I lose myself in thought and only chance a glance at her when we pull up outside her house. My lips curl up when I realize she's asleep. Rolling to a stop, I can't help but take a longer look. My stomach seizes up. She's so peaceful, so beautiful. I doubt I look as relaxed when asleep as she does. Her long eyelashes are fanned over the apples of her cheeks, her face tilted toward me.

A heavy sigh rushes from my lungs. I don't want to wake her. She's obviously exhausted, but it doesn't look comfortable for her neck to be sleeping the way she is.

Reaching across the console without conscious thought, I thumb her cheek and revel in the softness of her skin. I can't help but remember that she's this soft everywhere. Just the memory of my hands on her body last night has my dick paying attention.

"Bella," I whisper. "We're at your house."

"Hmm? Oh, crap, I'm sorry." Releasing a long yawn that makes her gray eyes water, Bella shoots up in her seat and palms her flushed cheeks. "I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"It's okay, you were tired." Fighting a smile, I quip, "The snoring was a bit much, though."

The horror in her wide eyes is enough to make me grin and ruin the ruse. Her face splits in a smile as she shakes her head. "Nice try, Edward. I don't snore."

"Sure you don't." Looking at the house, I jerk a thumb at the backseat and unfasten my belt. "I'll give you a hand carrying the boys in."

Between us, we manage to take all three boys in one trip—Bella scoops Arlo from his seat while I grab Jaxson and Finley. Following her up the path and into the house, I feel the familiar stirrings of wistfulness, quickly followed by an emotion I find even more disturbing. Jealousy worms its way through my veins like a serpent, as unwelcome as it is surprising. My eyes remain on Bella's back all the way down the hall as I head into Jaxson and Finley's room and she turns into Arlo's. She's worked hard on it this week, the walls now a pale gray and decorated with colorful artwork. There's a huge toy chest in one corner and beanbags in another, the boys' beds neatly made even though we're about to mess them up.

Juggling the boys without waking them is easier than I would have thought. However, I quickly feel like I'm intruding when Bella joins me to kiss each of her sons' foreheads and wish them a night of sweet dreams, so I step out into the hall before realizing she'll need her car seats back.

She's just reaching the doorway when I step back inside with all three. Bleary-eyed and yawning so wide my grandma would have said she's in danger of turning her head inside out, she's adorable. The hole in my chest aches as I gaze at her, knowing tonight I'll be returning home. She's too tired to try my luck, and to be honest, I could use the space.

"Oh, I forgot about those. Let me…"

Clicking my tongue, I set them all on the floor by the new console table. "They're heavy, I've got it."

"Thank you." Blowing out a breath that displaces her hair, Bella smiles sleepily. "Really, _thank you _for helping me out today. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it."

As if I'm not uncomfortable enough receiving thanks, she winds her arms around my waist and gives me a quick, warm hug I immediately return. Her small body molds to my taller frame and I'm hit with the sudden conundrum of not wanting to release her.

Steeling myself, I force my arms to unwind and take a step backward. "All right. I'm gonna head out."

"You can stay, if you want?"

"I think it's better if I head back to my place."

"Okay." Thankfully, she doesn't seem offended by my need for space. She walks me out, hugging herself on the front step as her eyes follow me down the path to my Jeep. Turning as I climb in, I return her little wave with a teasing salute and watch to make sure she goes back inside before I pull away.

When I get home, my silent house feels emptier than ever, the closed door down the hall from my bedroom tantalizingly close, but I'm not in the right frame of mind to deal with things. Closing myself in my bedroom with a heavy sigh, I tell myself it's just the long day weighing me down even though I'm well-aware it's the ever-present, self-inflicted loneliness.

* * *

**My posting schedule will be a little wonky over the next two weeks or so. Today is my last day off until the day before Christmas Eve, and until then I'll be doing 2am starts. You'll definitely still get your updates, but they may not be at the same times/the same days as usual. I'll try to keep to the schedule as much as possible.**

**As always, huge thanks to my wonderful team of ladies who call me on my bull and point out when I'm being too liberal with my 'it's fiction' excuse. **annaharding, LizziePaige, ThatSoAlex, Anakinsmom, **and** LadyLoonie, **I love you all dearly.**

**And I love each and every one of you who reads, reviews, and recommends this little tale of mine. Come friend me on Facebook - Ciara Shayee Hill - to chit chat with me and see the visuals I create to go with each chapter.**


	19. Chapter 19 - Bella

**Finally! Bella quit her stupid job and EC grew a pair and hired her at Burger Co.! About time, right? ;)**

**I'm still enjoying reading all your thoughts on the developing relationships—between Bella and Edward, Edward and the boys...it's really nice to see you loving on them as much as I do, so please feel free to keep it coming. I promise I'll try and get to answering reviews now I'm nearly done pre-writing chapters. It's looking like this will end up around 32/35 chapters all-in. More than I originally had planned, but if you've been here a while, you'll know that's just my usual M.O. *facepalm***

* * *

**Chapter Nineteen**

_**Bella**_

"Come _on_, Momma!"

Rolling my eyes and stuffing the essentials into my purse, I hurry out the front door to join Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo on the driveway. "Watch the attitude, Lo," I warn gently, unlocking the car. I picked this beauty up first thing this morning. It's a Chevy Traverse and belonged to a couple that live right here in Jackson Bay who wanted to downgrade to a smaller car, which worked out perfectly for me. They let me buy it for a steal of a price and were more than happy for me to collect it early this morning so I'd have it ready to drive to the shelter in Jacksonville today. In anticipation of our new family member, whoever he or she will be, I ordered a trunk liner and fitted it at the same time as the boys' car seats. We'll still need to hit up the pet store once we've picked out our new pooch, because I couldn't order anything specific without knowing how big he or she will be or exactly what kind of things we'll need as far as grooming equipment and food go.

Flashing his best innocent smile, Arlo clambers into the backseat with his brothers. "Sorry, Momma. I'm just excited."

Once I've dumped my purse in the front, I head around to fasten him in and check Jaxson and Finley's buckles. They've been asking for a dog for so long, I can't really be mad that they're all wired up today. They've been bouncing off the walls ever since I told them today's plan shortly after breakfast this morning.

"I know you're excited, kiddo. You've gotta behave today though. The shelter is probably going to be busy and loud, so I need you to promise to be good and listen to me, okay?" The boys all chime their agreement, so I ruffle Arlo's messy 'do and close the door on their excited chatter, climbing into the front seat. "All right, let's get going, huh?"

"Yeah!" All three boys cheer, arms in the air and infectious grins on their faces. My own smile widens when I check my phone before setting off, a text from Edward waiting for me.

_**Have fun today. Pick something nice and friendly, please. I don't want to get attacked when I have to sneak out in the mornings.**_

Shooting back a promise to pick something nice and sneak-out friendly, quietly gleeful at his continued attention even if, for the moment, he does have to do the walk of shame so the boys don't walk in on us, I tap the address into my GPS app and get comfy, wondering if I'm going to regret this decision.

_Probably a little_, I concede, but it'll be worth it to make my boys happy.

**~ oOo ~**

The animal shelter just outside Jacksonville is full to bursting with dogs needing new homes. When we arrive, the lady at reception is so busy fielding calls that we end up waiting fifteen minutes just to say who we are and collect our passes to go back into the rehoming section.

"All right, kiddos. Where shall we start?"

Arlo is beside himself with excitement, his lip disappearing between his teeth as he bounces on the balls of his feet and looks between the two doors in front of us. "Left," he finally decides, Jaxson and Finley nodding in agreement before taking off toward the door to our left. Following dutifully, I cross my fingers and pray they'll find their new best friend today. The website says they have over six hundred dogs at any one time. There must be _one _here all three boys will like, right?

_Wrong._

It takes a couple of hours for me to realize how completely and utterly wrong I was to assume this would be easy. So far, this isn't at all how I expected this to go. I thought we'd have a look around, the boys would fall in love with one of the pooches, I'd fill out some forms, then we'd be welcoming a new member of the family into our home. We already had our home check earlier in the week so we're good to go if only we can just find a dog all three boys agree on.

Instead, we've walked around the entire shelter and they haven't connected with a single dog. Big, little. Fluffy, short-haired. Old, young. And not one has caught their attention. I'm gutted.

Arlo's pursed-lipped frown makes me feel like the worst parent in the world.

"Why don't we have another look in here?" I suggest hopefully, pointing to a door leading to another section. "Maybe we missed one. Some were on walks when we went in there before."

Shrugging, Arlo toes the floor and blows hair out of his eyes. He couldn't look more disappointed if he tried. Jaxson and Finley are wearing the same expression, which kills me, but this is Arlo's dream more than theirs. They won't be heartbroken if we leave today without picking out a dog. Arlo, on the other hand, will.

"Come on, boys, maybe we'll—"

I'm cut off by a cacophony of raised voices followed by a bang as the door at the other end of the corridor flies open and hits the wall. A mound of fur barrels through and charges straight toward the boys, a trio of shelter staff running after him, although not quickly enough to stop him crashing into my youngest.

"Oh my God, Lo!" Heaving the dog off my son by its collar, I just about manage to hold onto its wiggling body while I check that my son is okay.

The giggles that erupt out of him as he lays there on the floor set the dog off again. He goes even crazier when Jaxson and Finley join in, showering him with attention and laughter. Losing my grip, I find myself smiling at the waggy-tailed beast and my cackling kids rolling around together on the floor.

"I'm so sorry, Miss," one of the shelter staff pants, finally catching up. He hauls the dog off the boys and clips a leash to its collar. I'm not totally convinced it'll hold, if I'm honest. "He's a bit of a Houdini but I thought we had him."

Now I can get a good look at the dog's head, I can see he's a Saint Bernard, or something similar. He has big, brown, puppy-dog eyes in a wrinkly white, black, and russet face. He's all gangly legs and too-big paws with a fluffy, whip-like tail that slaps my legs over and over. He's cute.

And judging by the way my boys are going gaga over him, I'd say we're onto a winner.

The guy hanging onto the dog raises his eyebrows at me when I face him, a wry smile on my face. I'm not surprised that he looks stupefied. I guess most moms would be distraught if their kid got knocked down, but Arlo is a tough kid and he's perfectly fine. To be honest, I'm just relieved we've finally found a dog all three boys seem interested in. It's a good start. "What can you tell me about him?"

"Why don't we head down the hall to the family room and you can all get to know each other a bit?"

The floofy beast drags the poor guy down the hall and into the family room, then turns his sights on his new fan club. The boys are only too happy to take the heat while I sit down with the shelter guy—or Steven, as his name tag reads.

"So," he begins, dropping into a chair at the two-seat table in the corner. There's a computer wedged on one side and an overflowing tray of papers on the other, so I fold my hands in my lap and make sure I have one eye on my sons at all times. So far, so good. "I'll just load up this guy's info and then you can have a read, although I think you might have a battle on your hands now the little dudes have fallen in love."

Shaking my head, I realize why Benjamin said it was a dumb idea to bring the boys to pick their own dog. If, for whatever reason, this beast can't come home with us now they've fallen for him, I'll never hear the end of it. I distinctly recall my brother saying exactly that, not that I'll be admitting it to him.

"Let's just hope it's a good fit, then."

Steven nods, mumbling "Aha!" a few moments later before turning the monitor so we can both see it. There's no picture in the box on the side—because he only arrived a couple of days ago, Steven tells me—and very little information in the 'about me' box.

Reading aloud, I listen to my sons giggling across the room. "I am a four-month-old, purebred Saint Bernard. I'm a big, bouncy boy who would benefit from a refresher course on my basic training as well as some work on my loose leash walking and manners, including jumping up and greeting people nicely. I've lived in two homes with young children and enjoy their company."

Eyeing my sons and their new buddy with scepticism, I wonder, "If he's so great, why's he here? And two homes already at only four months?"

Steven scratches his neck with a faint smile. "The first home was his breeder. They planned to keep him to breed from as he has great genetics. They got pregnant unexpectedly and couldn't cope with the extra dog on top of a new kid."

Humming, I warn Arlo to calm down a little. He _and _the dog are running around at warp speed nine hundred. "And the second home?"

"He, uh...he kept escaping. They kept him in their backyard and with a busy highway right behind their house, they couldn't cope. Also, they worked a lot and couldn't give him the time and attention he needed for training. "

I bite my tongue to stop myself from asking why they thought a puppy would be a good idea in the first place if they work all day. At four months, he's still a baby. He needs a fair amount of supervision still, which is one of the reasons I'm glad Mom has already said the dog can come with the boys when she watches them while I work. I didn't anticipate the boys picking a puppy, but it's convenient that Mom is on hand to help out and make sure he won't be left alone all the time. "So, that's it? No other issues?"

"Other than the usual puppy things, none that we know of. Our assessors have worked with him a little bit and he's passed with flying colors. One of our volunteers walked him this morning with a few dogs of all different sizes and he was great. Very playful, but otherwise good. He's had all his vaccinations so he's good to go for walks and stuff, you'll just need to be mindful of his growing joints until he's fully grown." With a grin, Steven quickly pulls up a Google search of 'adult Saint Bernards' and opens the first image so it's fullscreen. It's a full-grown dog complete with a string of drool hanging from one side of his mouth. "You're aware that he'll probably grow to be around one-fifty to one-eighty pounds?"

_Holy crap, that's a big dog_.

Gazing across the room at him with my boys, all four of them curled up on a big bean bag while Jaxson ruffles the beast's fluffy coat, I can't help but feel like this overgrown puppy is _our _overgrown puppy, despite the fact that one day in the not-so-distant future, he'll be bigger and heavier than all three of the boys put together.

"I think we can handle it. What do you need from me so I can take that lump home? And I suppose we'd better know his name, if he has one."

Smirking, Steven murmurs, "Max. As in, _to the max_."

At the sound of his name, the beast—no, _Max_, looks over at us. His big, brown eyes catch mine. "Well, Max," I pause, laughing at the answering thump of his tail against the floor. "I guess you're coming home with us. Welcome to the family."

**~ oOo ~**

"Oh, he's so cute! A little Beethoven!"

Smiling, I nod and agree, because Max _does_ look like the dog in the _Beethoven _movies. The woman currently petting Max has us paused outside the pet store. It's taken almost ten minutes to get from the car to the front door because every person who sees our floofy beast wants to stop and pet him.

"We're takin' him to get supplies," Jaxson tells her cheerfully, hanging onto the middle of the leash while I hold the loop at the end. Max may only be a puppy, but he's a big puppy. The spaniel he met a few minutes ago is three years old and only had a couple inches on him at most.

"Well, I'll let you get to it." Grinning at me, the woman stands and brushes Max's hair from her pants. "I bet you'll get stopped every five seconds in there. Good luck."

Mumbling my thanks, I hurry the boys along and praise Max loudly when he pees right before we go into the store. The last thing I want is him peeing over everything inside.

"Okay boys, let's consult the list, shall we?"

Finley pulls the list from his pocket and frowns as he slowly reads the first thing. "Harness."

"Right." Looking at the over-the-aisle signs, I lead them left as I send up a thanks to Steven, who was an absolute Godsend and wrote out a list of the essentials to get Max properly integrated into our home. "Now, he's going to grow fast, so whoever picks the harness today can let someone else pick the next one when he grows out of it, okay?"

"'Kay."

Thankfully, the boys manage to agree on a matching red collar, harness, and leash set. With a harness, I guess the collar is kind of surplus, but we dump them in the basket Arlo is dragging along anyway and head into the next aisle for the next thing. As the woman outside predicted, almost every person in the store stops us to say 'hi' to Max. His tail doesn't stop wagging the entire time as he meets dogs and people of all shapes and sizes. I'm relieved when he behaves impeccably and waits until we've paid for our sizeable haul and almost made it back to the car to pee again.

"Can I give him a treat, Momma?" Arlo asks, plucking a bag of liver snaps from one of our six shopping bags.

"Sure."

It isn't until we're halfway home with another thirty minutes or so to go that I realize treats right before a long car journey was a grave error.

"Uh, Momma? Max is making a funny noise…" Finley says, repeating himself when I turn the music down a little so I can hear him better.

"What do you..._oh_, crap."

Ignoring Arlo telling me I said a bad word, I hurriedly pull over and rush to the trunk, but I'm too late. By the time I get there, Max has thrown up the contents of his stomach.

"Aw, Max," I half groan, half laugh, because even feeling sick he still manages to wag his tail and offer me a sweet, tongue-out grin. It would be cuter if he didn't have puke breath, but never mind. "Let's get this cleaned up so we can get home, huh?"

I sort of figure he won't have anything left in his stomach to throw up but leave the liner down anyway, using some of the puppy pads I just bought to clean up the mess and provide an extra layer of protection in case he _is _sick again.

Much to my relief, Max manages to make it all the way home without any other incidents. In fact, when I release the boys and let them race to the trunk to let him out when we're stationary on the drive outside our house, he's fast asleep in the bed we just bought him, the tip of his tail in his mouth like a pacifier.

Hushing the boys, I quickly snap a photo and send it to basically everyone in my contacts list.

The replies are pouring in minutes later as I sip a glass of cold lemonade and watch Max running around on the trampoline while the boys crawl behind him.

"No bouncing while he's on there," I remind them, reading the responses from my friends and family.

_**SQUEEE! He's so adorable! When can we come over and snuggle his royal cuteness?**_ **\- Carlie**

Her text is followed by about ten heart-eyed emojis and a GIF of Agnes from _Despicable Me_ with the caption 'It's so fluffy, I'm gonna die!'

_**He's precious! Drop by once he's all settled in so we can meet our new grandbaby xx **_**\- Mom**

_**Are you sure that's a puppy? He looks huge already! Cute, though. Let me know when I can bring Danny by to meet the new fella. - **_**Benjamin**

It's Edward's response that makes me sigh and smile, though.

_**He looks ferocious! Remind me to bring protective clothing when I come over.**_

Glancing up to make sure the boys aren't terrorizing him, I quickly tap out a response.

_**Oh, he's terrifying, all right. He licked Finley right on the nose when we brought him inside, can you believe it?!**_

"Mom, I think Max needs to go potty!"

Spying Max doing circles with his nose to the trampoline, I think Finley might be right, so I jog across the yard and heft him down onto the grass. He does a few laps of the trampoline, looking up at the boys watching him through the net, before squatting to do his business. The treats come out again and the boys leap down to fuss over him until he's running around with his tail wagging a mile a minute and his tongue lolling everywhere. Thanks to the research I did online, the praising-every-time-he-pees method seems to be working. We haven't had a single accident besides from the puke in the car. I know he's only been here fifteen minutes, but still. Every win is a win, no matter how minor.

The buzz of my phone ten minutes later distracts me from the boys' attempting to teach Max to 'sit.' So far he's got the _nose in the air following the treat_ part down, it's following through and putting his fluffy butt to the ground he's not mastered yet.

_**That does sound terrifying! I'll be sure to be careful when I meet him.**_

Another text follows it before I have time to write a reply.

_**When will that be, out of interest? I'm guessing you won't be coming for dinner tonight like you mentioned before.**_

Eyeing Max and the boys, I chew my lip and ponder my options. I _did _tell Edward we'd be by for dinner today. I also told the boys that, and although they're distracted right now, I bet they'll remember as soon as I mention food. The three of them love the food at Burger Co. as much as I do. I obviously won't leave Max alone in his new home just hours after bringing him here, so that leaves two options—skipping dinner out tonight, or taking him with us.

On one hand, if we skip Burger Co., the boys will be hangry little terrors and I miss out on my daily dose of Edward. On the other, Max is only hours into being a part of our family and it's probably kind of ambitious to expect a public outing to go well. He'll need to sleep before we go, too, because I've heard puppies can be hell when they're overtired.

In the end, I opt for the path of least resistance and cross my fingers we'll all come out of it unscathed.

"All right, kiddos. Who wants to have their bath first? We can't go to Burger Co. and see Edward all stinky and dirty."

* * *

**So...they got a dog! I know a lot of you thought it was happening a couple of chapters back, but nope. Bella was already on it. If you want to see pictures of Max and snoop on my inspiration for Jackson Bay and the crew, I have a Pinterest board called 'Under The Willows' and my account is under the same name as I am here.**

**As always, huge thanks to my wonderful team of ladies who call me on my bull and point out when I'm being too liberal with my 'it's fiction' excuse. **annaharding, LizziePaige, ThatSoAlex, Anakinsmom, **and** LadyLoonie, **I love you all dearly.**

**And I love each and every one of you who reads, reviews, and recommends this little tale of mine. Come friend me on Facebook - Ciara Shayee Hill - to chit chat with me and see the visuals I create to go with each chapter.**


	20. Chapter 20 - Edward

**Just in case I can't get another chapter out until the New Year, and in the wise words of Hotteaforme,  
"fuck it, it's Christmas!" LOL You have her to thank for this update, she talked me into it.**

**I'm running close to the wire with edited chapters and I won't be bothering my team over the holidays, so updates may slow a smidge just until the new year and the holiday madness is over. So, in the meantime, here's a kind-of-big chapter. Buckle up, it's a little bumpy ;)  
**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty**

_**Edward**_

"There you are!"

Grinning over the bar at Renee as I set down the glass I was cleaning, I can't help but ask, "Where else would I be?"

With a distinctly Arlo-like roll of her eyes, Renee shakes her head and fishes through her purse. "I just wanted to drop this in for you. It's been sitting in Charlie's office for days and it's driving me nuts."

Taking the envelope from her and peeking inside, I see that it's the cheque for the party I catered at In The Bay a few weeks back. I'd forgotten all about it, to be honest.

"Thanks, Rae. I'd forgotten."

Tucking it into the lockbox under the bar, I offer her a grin. "You look great this morning, by the way. New hairdo?"

Touching her hair, she snorts. "More like plane hair."

"Oh, that's right. You flew in late last night, right?"

"Right. Those late night flights always leave me looking a mess."

She doesn't have a hair out of place and her clothes look fresh off the hanger. She definitely doesn't look like someone who spent half the night on a plane. "Nah, not at all. If I didn't know better I'd have no idea you've been up all night travelling."

Reaching out to lightly poke my arm, Renee snorts. "Yeah, yeah, you big smoothie, you. I know I look a state. The boys already told me I look 'messy' when they video called this morning. They're coming by for dinner tonight, aren't they?"

Smirking, I nod. "I believe that's the plan, but it's under consideration at the moment. She's not sure how the pup will handle it."

Shaking her head with a smile, Renee admits that she's excited to meet Max. I can't deny that I am, too.

Of course, I don't admit that I fully intend to see Bella tonight whether she stops by for dinner or not. If she doesn't come, I'll see if she's still awake when I head home and call round to meet the new pup and sneak a kiss or two, if she's willing.

"Thank you, EC." Sighing, she cocks her head at me. "Are you all right? You seem...different."

Straightening up and resuming my sweep of the glasses, I shake my head. "I'm fine." With Renee, having a good deflection tactic is key. "How are _you_? Looking forward to a few days in the big city?"

Part of Charlie's birthday present to his wife was a three-day break in New York, but they had to wait a little bit for a few staffing issues at the hotel to be resolved before they could take off. They're leaving some time today or tomorrow, I believe.

"It's just a flying visit, three nights and we'll be coming right home. I _am _looking forward to a bit of down time with Charlie, though. He's been so busy recently, and with Bella and the boys coming home, it's all been a bit manic." Wryly, she adds, "I still expect we'll end up paying a visit to the Long Island hotel. The renovation is a bit behind and Charlie wants to know why. The contractors can't ignore him if he's standing right in front of them."

"I see." Of the six hotels Charlie has spread over the country, the one on Long Island always seems to be the thorn in his side. Which, when I think about it, is pretty ironic considering it's the closest out-of-state hotel he owns. All the others are much further west.

As Renee's cell starts ringing in her purse, she rolls her eyes and steps back toward the door. "I'd better get going. That's probably Charlie wondering why I'm taking so long. Take care of yourself and we'll see you next week for brunch as usual."

"Take care, Rae. Make sure Charlie spoils you, and don't let him spend too much time in Long Island. You both deserve the down time."

With a cheery wave and a promise to keep her husband in line—a promise I have no doubt she'll keep—she's gone, leaving me in the peace and quiet of an empty restaurant. Well, not totally empty. Jones is out in the backyard taking his lunch break while we have nobody in, and Kelly is upstairs. Glancing at the clock, I see she has a good half hour before her shift starts. Hopefully things pick up after that, because it's pointless having the extra staff in otherwise.

That said, with Bella and the boys possibly coming by later, I won't close the restaurant even if we are dead.

I'm looking forward to Bella seeing the new menu too much.

**~ oOo ~**

Luckily, it does pick up as the afternoon winds on. We get a couple of reasonably big parties in for a late lunch as well as a few stragglers and an elderly couple who've been coming every week since I opened.

Jones and Kelly man the kitchen like a well-oiled machine while I cover the bar. New Kid and Oliver keep the customers happy with their winning smiles and can't-do-more attitude—well, mostly. One diner complains about her burger being too spicy, so New Kid ratchets up the charm and comps her drinks, which mollifies her.

As afternoon sails into evening, the clouds part outside and it's warm enough to open the yard. There's a deck out back with a few picnic tables and a large, extendable awning which juts out from the building for days when the sun is too hot. A family of four comes in and requests an outdoor table, their little dog happily curling up on the deck at their feet.

One of my best decisions to date was making the yard dog-friendly. When it's nice out, we get a lot of customers stopping by with their pooches for a drink and a burger. I had to lose a little of the restaurant space to create a corridor for people to use in and out—I don't want dogs in the main area for obvious reasons—but it was worth it. Plus, it gave me the cork board polaroid wall, which people love.

It's fast approaching six and most of the tables are full inside when Oliver cracks up.

"What?"

Pointing toward the front of the store, I see what he's already spotted. I can't help but laugh, too. Bella and the boys managed to snag a prime parking spot right out front, which gives me a great view of them as they climb out of her new car. But they're not alone.

"I thought you said it was a puppy? Shit, that thing is huge already!" New Kid laughs.

Oliver snorts. "That _is _a puppy. Saint Bernards start off big and grow quick."

I can't help but chuckle, unable to take my eyes off Bella as the admittedly quite large puppy tows Bella toward a fire hydrant to cock his leg, then Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo run full-speed at the front door, leaving their mom being pulled along behind them.

I'm already at the podium with four menus in hand when Arlo stretches on his tiptoes to peer over the top. His toothy smile widens, Jaxson and Finley skidding to a stop behind him.

"Hey, Edward! Guess what we got today!" Before I can even open my mouth, he tells me the answer—not that it isn't pretty obvious anyway. The panting, furry beast of a puppy is right behind him with a frazzled Bella hanging onto his leash. "A dog! We got a dog."

"I see that," I laugh, opening the little gate that leads to the back. "Come on through. I saved your favorite table, but you've got the yard all to yourself for now, anyway."

Rather than run behind him, Bella drops the leash and shakes her head as she follows me out into the sun, her new dog chasing her sons. "So, you decided to brave it, then?"

"Oh yeah, and we Swans don't do anything by halves, as you can see," she says, gesturing at the puppy. His face is already not far off being level with Arlo's. "He _literally _bowled Arlo over at the shelter and it was insta-love."

Sitting sideways on the picnic bench the boys claimed as their own the first time they came out here, it's easy to see the relief on Bella's face. Although there's something else…

"You're not as taken with him as the boys?" I guess.

"Oh, no! It's not that at all. Max is just...not what I expected. A puppy is like a full-time job, and he's a _big _puppy."

Snorting, my gaze flicks over to the boys and Max again. Arlo is showing him the big water dish and the patch of grass at the end of the yard while Jaxson and Finley hunt for the toys I keep out back for visiting dogs.

"...and this is where you gotta go potty, okay?"

Bella and I both laugh at the sloppy-tongued smooch Max gives Arlo in acknowledgement.

"I think he'll settle in with you just fine. You'll forget he's new to the family in no time."

"Probably," Bella admits with a small smile. "Anyway...what's on the specials board today? I forgot to look on the way through, but I'm starving. The boys are, too. We've barely eaten today."

An unexpected sliver of nerves slides through me as I reach for the menus on the table. "I think you might be more interested in the new addition to the burger menu, but I could be wrong."

Garrett thought it was hilarious when I insisted he learn a new recipe on the fly, and he laughed his ass off when he saw the new menus yesterday—the newest burger, in particular. He said "If this doesn't give you the kick up the ass you need, I don't know what will." Fuck knows what he was talking about. He's gotten all thoughtful and thinks he's wise since having Ivy. Honestly, I'm still not even sure what made me do it.

But then a wide, beautiful smile lights Bella's face and _that's_ why. That look right there. I'd do almost anything to keep that right there.

"You added my burger to the menu! You...Edward, that's so cool!"

It took me a while to decide what to put as the description on the menu, but I know it by heart now.

_The Bella Italia._

_Succulent beef patty cooked in rosemary oil and seasoned with oregano, parsley, and optional chilies. Our delicious homemade tomato, red pepper, and basil ketchup comes standard, and a healthy dose of mozzarella and a toasted ciabatta roll pulls it all together to give you the perfect taste of Italy._

"You did all the hard work the other day, I just had to make it sound as great as it tastes in as few words as possible."

The sheer delight and surprise on Bella's face is reward enough for how much of a pain in the ass it was to redesign the menu, but it's even more worthwhile when she throws her arms around my shoulders and presses a hot, discreet kiss to my collarbone. "This is great, Edward. Thank you."

"It's not a problem," I croak, clearing my throat and forcing myself to remain chaste with my placement of my hands. They take up residence at the small of her back even though I'm itching to run them lower.

My smile spreads wider when she waves the boys over to show them the new item on the menu.

It wasn't easy switching up the menu with such a quick turnaround, but the look on her face, that beautiful smile, is why I did it anyway.

"That's so cool, Edward! Can _I _be on the menu?"

Snorting and running her fingers through Finley's wavy 'do, Bella shakes her head. "_I'm _not on the menu, kiddo. The burger I invented is. There's a difference. You wouldn't want to eat Momma, would you?"

_No, but I would, _I think, my eyes telling Bella the same thing. She shakes her head infinitesimally but I can see the smirk playing on her lips.

"I don't know, Bella. He could be tasty, but I'd need to test him out before I can cook and sell him." I don't know what comes over me, but Finley is off the bench and in my arms before I blink.

I've tipped him up and playfully nibbled his belly before I can consider what I'm doing and who I used to do this with. His peals of surprised laughter and the shocked look in Bella's eyes when I glance up at her is a reality check.

My smile slips from my face as a chill runs through my veins.

"_Gah, Dada! Don't eat my belly! Gosh, your beard _tickles_!"_

"Whoa…" Finley breathes when I quickly right him, setting him back on his feet and taking a sharp breath in.

My stomach rolls, old memories flooding to the surface.

"_Ahh, sto-op!"_

_Skinny little arms flail around, a bony elbow narrowly missing my face._

"_But you're so tasty! And someone ate half my breakfast this morning. Maybe they should eat their own in the future," I tease, the sun hot on my back but not half as warming as the toothy smile aimed my way._

"_But I d-don't want to!" Willow's squeal is so high-pitched it almost hurts my ears, but I'm used to it. I never thought I'd get used to girly screams, singing at all hours of the day and night, hair bows just fucking...everywhere._

_Now, I don't know what I'd do without it all._

"_Please, Dada, s-s-stop! It tickles!"_

_Smirking and nomming on her belly some more, I mimic, "But I don't want to!"_

_A loud sigh from the doorway curbs my grin, but only slightly, and puts an end to my girl's giggles._

"_Are you two done? Dinner is on the table."_

_Carefully setting my world back on her own two feet, I blow out a breath and rub my belly. "I'm sorta full. I don't think I need dinner after all."_

_I'm on the receiving end of a pretty harsh stink-eye, but its power is negated by the cheeky smile battling its way onto Willow's face._

An all-too-familiar ache returns to take up residence in my chest. How did I not notice that it had eased, even if just for a little while? That ache...it's all I l have left of her. It reminds me that I had her, even just for a handful of precious years.

Finley's smile falters as I take a few big steps backward, but it's Bella's expression that kills me.

_Understanding_.

Of course, she knows where my mind just went—where it always goes when I let my guard down and relax the shield around my memories.

"I'm…" _Sorry._ _Broken. Not sure I'll ever be able to be the man you deserve._

Her eyes are shiny but tell me she knows. She knows and she's sorry, too.

Her face tells me it's okay, so I do what I always do. I take the easy out. I run. I hide.

I forget.

**~ oOo ~**

A couple of days later, I tuck my sunglasses into my hair and find myself genuinely smiling as I watch three familiar faces appear in the sea of people spilling out of the airport.

"Jas!"

My eight-years-younger brother flashes me a grin as he waves and turns to say something to his wife, whose gaze pops up from their son to scan the crowd. She, too, looks happy when she spots me. "Hey, big brother," Jasper says when they reach me, one of his gangly arms coming around me as I pull him in for a back-slapping hug.

"Hey, brother. How were your flights?"

He's complained, many times, that they have to get connecting flights when they come down from Utah. I think they stopped in Dallas this time for a couple of hours.

"Long," he sighs, winking at his son as he whines for my attention.

Crouching, I ruffle my nephew's hair. "Hey, Matty. Did you enjoy your plane rides?"

He shrugs, pushing his dark blond hair out of his eyes. It's grown a lot since they were here in June. It reminds me of Arlo, which makes my chest hurt. I miss the cheeky little boy. "It was okay. It felt like forever 'cause I was excited to get here and see you, Uncle Ed."

Groaning quietly, I look up at my brother who is now wearing a shit-eating grin, because it's his fault his son is now calling me 'Ed,' a nickname I've hated since Jasper was a toddler and it was all he could call me.

As it happens, Matty likes calling me 'Uncle Ed' a whole lot. He peppers me with questions all the way from Jacksonville International to Jackson Bay, starting or ending almost every sentence with the much-hated nickname. If he weren't so cute I'd totally tell him to knock it off.

There's also the little matter of his inquisitive mother who is very likely going to be on my case soon enough. She's probably dying to ask why I was evasive when she wondered if we'd be getting Bella's boys together with Matty for a playdate. Matty is homeschooled, which gives them the freedom to travel when Jasper can get the time off work, but it also means he doesn't get to spend as much time with people his own age as most other kids. When she asked if the kids she's seen on my Facebook page will be around for Matty to play with, I fobbed her off with a story about Bella being busy with the new puppy and new house.

I know Alice, though. There'll be questions. She was curious enough about Bella and the boys to call me and ask about them after Kelly tagged me in pictures of us in the Burger Co. backyard. I didn't even know Kelly had taken them, but she caught the exact moment Bella looked up at me after seeing her burger on the menu, her face lit up with her stunning smile. But that was before...

_Before it all went wrong._

As we drive past her house on the way to mine, I sigh and try to push thoughts of Bella and the boys from my mind.

My time and attention is going to be dedicated to Jasper, Alice, and Matty while they're here for the next two days, and that's it. I had to bribe my team to work longer shifts during our busiest season because I want to spend time with my brother and his family, so it needs to be worthwhile.

**~ oOo ~**

"Man, that was good," Jasper groans, sitting back in his seat and rubbing his stomach.

I can't help but grin, twisting my whiskey glass between my fingers on the tabletop. "You're welcome, little brother. You can do some laps in the pool tomorrow to work it off."

"Fuck off," he snorts, shaking his head with a wide, slightly crooked grin. We both inherited Dad's slightly lopsided smile, only Jasper got Dad's blond hair and blue eyes as well while I got Mom's green eyes and red-brown hair.

"Language at the table, Jas," Alice sighs, though we both know she's fighting a losing battle now Jasper has indulged in a whiskey with me. He's a lightweight, always has been.

"Yeah, Daddy," Matty chimes. "You're not supposed to cuss."

"Sorry, champ. I'll get you a dollar tomorrow."

Pleased with the addition to the loot he's already earned through listening to Jasper and I watch a Jacksonville Gators match this afternoon, Matty grins. My brother isn't all that into soccer, but I've supported my closest MLS team since I moved out here. The Gators are doing well this season thanks to a couple of new signings. Their new striker, Brody Weller, has given them a great boost despite being the youngest on the team at twenty-one. I'm looking forward to seeing his progress.

"Why don't we get you all ready for bed, huh?" Alice says with a smile, all of us eyeing Matty as he yawns big and wide, leaning his head on his folded arms on the table.

"Okay. Can I have a story before I go to sleep?" Alice has barely agreed before he adds, "Can Uncle Ed read it to me?"

I see her eyes widen, her mouth moving to make an excuse for me, and cut her off. "You sure can, buddy. Give me a sec and I'll be up, okay?"

"Okay." He crawls into his dad's lap for a hug and kiss before giving his mom the same treatment and trooping up the stairs.

Tossing back the last of my drink, I studiously ignore Alice's curious gaze on me. I already know, without her having to tell me, that she's shocked because I never do story time.

_Story time was Willow's favorite time of day. She loved pretending to read along with me._

I swallow hard. "I'll be back in a few. Help yourself to anything. There's dessert in the fridge if you're still hungry."

Tired from his long day, Matty is already halfway out when I lower myself to sit on the edge of the blow-up bed on the floor in the guest bedroom. "Sleepy, buddy?"

"Nope." I might believe him if he didn't follow it up with another big yawn.

I chuckle, tucking him in. "Sure you're not. So, which of these books are we readin'?" He's got a little stack of three next to his pillow. I hold them up, nodding when he points to the one with a cartoon dragon on the front. "Okay, _When A Dragon Comes To Stay_, it is."

I don't even get halfway through the book before Matty is snoring softly, but I read to the end anyway, making sure he's all tucked in with his stuffed dragon within reach before heading downstairs to face the Spanish inquisition.

Alice and Jasper have relocated to the family room, so I head there after refilling my glass, deciding on a whim to just bring the rest of the bottle with me. It might be necessary.

When I sit my ass down in my recliner, I realize Jasper isn't far behind his son. His eyelids are drooping as he stares at the TV.

"So. The girl in the pictures. Bella, is it?"

_Talk about not beating around the bush, Alice._

"What about her?"

My sister-in-law breathes a soft laugh, tucking her feet under her on the couch. "Who is she? You said she's your friends' daughter?"

"She is."

Alice's eyebrows lift a little; she's getting annoyed at my short answers. She doesn't know that she's poking a sore spot right now. I haven't seen or spoken to Bella since my hasty retreat on Saturday. She's waiting, giving me space, but I think I'm almost ready to close the distance. I just hope she won't have written me off by then. She's already been more than patient with my hot and cold routine.

I'm ready to let the embers glowing between us burn bright. I'm willing to risk being engulfed by the flames if it's with her.

Sighing, I rub the back of my neck and offer her a sheepish smile. "I'm sorry. I'm not in a great mood at the moment. Burger Co. is insanely busy and with Tan off with the baby, it's been rough."

Alice doesn't believe me, I can tell, but she nods and follows the change of topic. "How are they doing, Tanya and the baby?"

"Good." I smile a little wider, pulling up Tanya's Facebook page on my cell to show her a couple of photos of Ivy. The most recent picture on Tanya's timeline is of all four girls on the sofa, Ivy in Jessica's arms, Callie and Irina on either side of them.

"What cute little girls."

I nod, agreeing. "They're great, all of them."

"You're really good with kids, you know. You avoid them, but you have a way with children that makes them adore you. Matty never shuts up about his 'awesome Uncle Ed.'"

Even as a grin splits my face, I'm wincing inside.

Yeah, I have such a way with kids I left Finley staring after me on Saturday because of my own ridiculous hang-ups. That's just great.

"We missed you on the Fourth. Your mom expected you to fly in," Alice says next in her seemingly relentless search for conversation. Jasper is now catching flies beside her, so I can't rely on him to save me.

"I never said I'd be there." My voice comes out too gruff, too blunt for polite conversation. Clearing my throat, I frown down at my drink. "She always assumes, but I've told her I can't just up and leave Burger Co. on one of our busiest holidays. Probably _the _busiest, actually."

"You know she just misses you, Edward. She feels guilty that she's so far away, we all do."

I hear her unspoken 'now you're alone' but choose to ignore it.

"I think she still holds out hope on you coming back to Utah," Alice admits after a too-long silence. "She's always talking about how you used to love the snowy mountains and all the changing seasons."

It's true, I am fond of the snow-capped mountains that I used to see through my bedroom window back in Salt Lake City.

But I love the sound and smell of the ocean just feet away from the bottom of my backyard. I love the warmer weather year-round. I love this town and the people and the way I feel when I stroll down The Boardwalk with the sun on my face and the sea breeze filling my lungs.

Willow was born here. She only ever lived in this house. She took her first steps on the beach right outside our back gate.

And Charlie and Renee are here. Garrett, Tanya, the girls…

Bella and the boys, too.

I could never leave Jackson Bay.

It takes a moment for me to realize that I said it aloud. Alice smiles wistfully. "I know. This place is your home. I've known you for a long time, Edward Cullen. This place suits you much better than Utah ever did, and your mom would see it if you gave her a chance."

I knew the conversation would end up here.

"Alice…" I warn gently. I don't want to get mad at her. We've had a great day and we still have tomorrow to look forward to.

"She cares about you, Edward." Rising from the sofa, Alice nudges Jasper awake and carries her empty glass through to the kitchen as he mumbles his 'goodnight' and heads upstairs. She returns to me, leaning over to plant a kiss on my cheek. "Talk to her. _Really _talk. She loves you so much, I don't think you even realize."

Her gaze softens as she rests her hand on my shoulder, blowing out a long breath as she mulls over her words. My heart thumps harder at the look in her eyes, because I know that look. It's the one people wear when they're about to bring up Willow.

"We all lost Willow that day, Edward, but it hit none of us more so than you. We all miss her and wish she was still here, but your mom...she's grieving for more than just her granddaughter. She's mourning you, too."

Alice leaves me with a parting "goodnight, Edward." I don't want to think about her words, so obviously they're the only thing I _can _think about.

When I crawl into bed a little later, the light of the moon streaming through the gap in the drapes, I frown at the ceiling and ponder Alice's statement.

_She's mourning you, too._

My first impulse is to say that she never lost me. I'm right here. But I know, deep down, that it's bullshit.

When Willow died, a huge part of me died with her. My chest aches almost constantly as if it's missing crucial components and my thoughts are never far from my bright, beautiful, funny little girl. She was my absolute world. Her smile lit up my life and her giggles were music to my ears. Sometimes, when I dream, I can still hear her laughter. It haunts my sleep and leaves my waking hours painfully quiet, no matter what I do or where I go. This house is full of her infectious joy, the rooms still holding her toys and books exactly where she left them.

It's a museum. A shrine to a life I haven't lived for six years, a life Willow will never return to.

And Alice is right about something else, too. It wasn't just me who lost Willow. It was Mom, and Dad, and Jasper, Alice...Matty never even got the chance to meet his only cousin. Alice wasn't even pregnant with him yet when Willow died.

And then there's Kate.

As usual when my thoughts turn to my ex-wife, I'm left with a bitter taste in my mouth and a sense of betrayal that hurts more because she was my best friend first, my lover and then wife, second. When we got married right out of high school, fresh-faced and full of plans for our future, I never saw us ending up where we did even before Willow was taken from us. It's easier to admit now, after six years and countless hours of soul-searching with Kendra, that Kate and I never would have lasted forever. We were both too selfish, both too caught up in what we wanted as individuals. I wanted a life here in Jackson Bay with Burger Co. and a family. She wanted a penthouse in the city and a husband whose arm she could hang off for all her hoity toity charity benefits. We're vastly different people on completely different paths in life.

And of course, one of us was fucking somebody else for almost the entire marriage.

**~ oOo ~**

Alice's words stick with me throughout a restless night of very little sleep.

When Matty traipses, bleary-eyed and rubbing his face, into the family room the next morning, I'm dialing my parents' house phone. "C'mere, buddy," I whisper, patting my knee. Climbing up in his dinosaur pajamas, Matty snuggles against my chest and yawns into my t-shirt just as Mom picks up.

"_Edward, this is unexpected! Is everything okay? Did Jasper, Alice, and Matty arrive all right?"_

"They did, they're all good. Matty's right here, do you want to say 'hi?'"

"_Oh, I'd love to. Put him on."_

Matty mumbles a few words to his Gamma before passing the phone back and huddling back against me. I can't deny the feelings of warmth and comfort his sleepy embrace stirs in me. It reminds me of Arlo napping across me when I watched him and his brothers the other night.

It makes me want to run down the street to their house and beg forgiveness for acting like a tool.

I don't, though. Instead, I start my day off by attempting to mend bridges with my mom.

"So, uh, Mom, I was wondering…" I pause, blowing out a breath through my nose. Will I regret this? Probably. Am I going to do it anyway? Yes. "I was wondering if I could come out and visit when I take my break after the summer. It'll be late September, probably—"

"_Oh, Edward, honey, that would be wonderful! Will you stay with us, or at a hotel?"_

Grinning at the ecstatic tone of my mom's voice, I breathe a sigh of relief and sink deeper into the couch cushions. "Whichever is easiest. I can probably talk Charlie into getting me a room at his hotel if it's too much trouble for me to stay with you guys."

"_It's not too much trouble. No trouble at all, in fact. We'd be happy to have you come and stay with us. You can even have your old room."_

Mom's too-fast chatter is a sure sign that she's happy and excited, which relieves me. Honestly, after how strained things have been between us in recent years, I wasn't sure she'd want me to come out, let alone invite me to stay at their place. We haven't been close for a long time, but I hope to rectify that. I want to try to mend things.

I listen to her jibber jabber on for almost a half hour before Matty is awake enough to request French toast for breakfast. "Listen, Mom," I interrupt gently, thankful for the excuse to cut her off. Baby steps, and all that. I don't need to hear about every single thing she's done in the last week, although it _is _nice not to be listening to how disappointed in me she is or battling our way through awkward silence, for a change. "Matty's hungry, so I'm gonna have to go feed him."

After requesting a follow-up call to confirm travel plans nearer the time, 'or as many calls in between as you like,' Mom tells me she loves me and hangs up the phone.

Swooping Matty up into the air with a sudden burst of energy, I find myself grinning. "Well, buddy. What do you say...do you want to be my sous chef?"

Giggling like a mad thing, Matty nods and clings onto my arms, but it's obvious he trusts me not to drop him. I can't help but remember the new nerves in Finley's features as I swung him through the air before not-too-gently putting him down. He trusted me, I could see it, but I damaged that trust with my disappearing act.

"Yes, but put me _down_, Uncle Ed!"

"Yes, Sir."

As I set Matty on the counter and start pulling ingredients from the cupboards, I make a vow that I'll make sure Finley, Jaxson, and Arlo still have faith in me the way they did before I walked away from them.

I'm determined to be a man worthy of their trust, a man worthy of _them_. Before I lost Willow, I was that man. I can be him again.

I just need to find him.

* * *

**First and foremost, I need to share a rec (or three) with you. If you haven't seen already, **staringatthesky **has written two amazing, complete Emmett x Rosalie AH fics—**Where the Heart Is** and its sequel **Where The Heart Is Now**—and has just started posting the third story—**Love Beyond**. It's angsty and heart-wrenching but has all the makings of what I'm sure will be a new all-time fave for this angst-loving reader. I'll drop the summaries for all three below, but PLEASE go ahead and check them out. Even if you aren't into the heavy angst, you can read and enjoy the slightly lighter first two stories. They're beyond stunning. Let her know I sent you and leave her some love :)**

**Where The Heart Is: **Because sometimes family is what you make it, and home is where the heart is. Emmett knows his life isn't perfect. Home is chaotic, school is a mess, and his little sister Alice keeps wetting the bed. But they have each other and they're getting by okay...until one day they're not, and amongst all the changes Emmett has to learn what makes a family and what makes a home.

**Where The Heart Is Now: **Because sometimes family is what you make it, and home is where the heart is...and even when you grow up it doesn't always get simpler. A sequel to Where the Heart Is, where it's ten years down the line and Emmett is learning a whole lot more about love and what exactly can go into making a family.

**Love Beyond: **Because sometimes the unthinkable happens. Married to Rosalie, busy with babies, Emmett's life is full of the family and love and laughter he had always longed for. Happy and contented, he's only looking forward until the day tragedy strikes and the centre of his world falls away. A story of love and loss, and what happens then.

**If you want to see pictures of the Jackson Bay crew and snoop on my inspiration for Jackson Bay, I have a Pinterest board called 'Under The Willows' and my account is under the same name as I am here.**

**As always, huge thanks to my wonderful team of ladies who call me on my bull and point out when I'm being too liberal with my 'it's fiction' excuse. **annaharding, LizziePaige, ThatSoAlex, Anakinsmom, **and** LadyLoonie, **I love you all dearly. ****And I love each and every one of you who reads, reviews, and recommends this little tale of mine. Come friend me on Facebook - Ciara Shayee Hill - to chit chat with me and see the visuals I create to go with each chapter.**

**If I don't 'see' you again before, I'm wishing you all a wonderful holiday season! xo**


	21. Chapter 21 - Edward

**As AnakinSmom so succinctly put it, it's time for EC to start getting his shit together ;) I also happen to agree with all of you who commented on how Bella now has a fourth child with Max running around, but like she said, Swans don't do anything by halves LOL. We did the same thing bringing home our Dalmatian and had a very swift learning curve.**

**Thank you all for your holiday wishes! I hope you all had a lovely holiday season. We do celebrate although we aren't religious, so it's more a day of family, food, and silly games. It's our first year as Mr and Mrs so we hosted this year and had eleven people and one spotty dog crowded in our relatively little house, but it was a great day. It's always nice when we're all together. **

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-One**

**Edward**

Shame blankets me as I step out of my car on Wednesday lunch time. After dropping Jasper, Alice, and Matty at the airport I didn't hesitate or stall. I came straight back to the bay, cruising past my house to pull up outside a cosy little gray home that, oddly, feels like my second home.

And it's all because of the people who live there.

It's a typical hot-as-Hades day, but I can't blame the heat for the sweat gathering at the back of my neck. That's all guilt. I haven't been able to get the look on Finley's face out of my mind since I walked away from him on Saturday. It's taken four days of reflection and soul-searching to muster the courage to come apologize, and they only live down the street.

I like to think I'm a good guy. A decent guy. But I've fucked up, and I intend to make amends.

I don't usually feel bad for running from my memories. This time...it's different. I don't know why, but it is. Glancing down the street at my house, I briefly mull over the idea of going home instead, but quickly dispel the notion. I need to do this. Besides anything else, tonight is Bella's first shift at Burger Co. and I'm desperate for it to go well. I want her to want to be there, and I don't want any awkwardness or discomfort.

My knuckles come down on the door in a triple tap at the same time as my ears pick up the sounds of a familiar beat. Leaning in closer with furrowed brows, I can't help but smile despite the slight tremor of my hands at my sides and the knot of unease in my stomach.

_"...those cats were fast as lightning."_

Even my heavy-handed knock is never going to drown out the blaring music, so I debate my options for a moment before stepping off the porch and heading around the side of the house. It was only a couple of weeks ago that I was here helping unpack, but even just outside, it already has a more homey feel to it. Hand-painted flower pots—like the ones at Charlie and Renee's—decorate the porch while a plaque reading 'Swan,' in what has to be one of the boys' messy scrawl, adorns the gate leading into the backyard.

I hesitate before swinging it open, wondering if I'm doing the right thing, before going inside and deciding I'll leave right away if they ask me to. Hopefully, Bella will be out back and spot me before I can accidentally make anyone jump.

Although, upon turning the corner and reaching the main part of the backyard where the trampoline and a new outdoor seating set sits, I immediately realize I'm out of luck. Bella isn't back here, but Arlo is.

_"There were funky China men, from funky Chinatown. They were trapping bend up, they were trapping bend down."_

Music booms from the speakers hanging out of the dining area windows. Across the yard, Max is sprawled happily in the shade, his little master doing what I can only assume is supposed to be some kind of Kung Fu or karate while belting out mostly correct lyrics to Kung Fu Fighting. In actual fact, he's not that bad—just a little uncoordinated as he kicks his leg out and tries to spin on one foot.

The combination of his fall landing him facing me and my loud chuckle alert him to my presence. Instead of furrowed brows or a scowl, I receive a wide, toothy grin.

"Edward! What are you doin' here? Did you see my Fung Ku?" Arlo shakes his head. "I mean Kung Fu! Did you see?"

"I did, buddy," I chuckle, edging closer. My eyes flick toward the open screen door. Where is she?

A cold, wet nose pressing itself against my knee scares the shit out of me before I can see Bella. "Fuckin'—Max!" Looking down, I find Max sitting in front of me, tongue lolling and tail wagging slowly. For such a big puppy, he sure can sneak around. Realization dawns. "Shit, sorry, Arlo. I mean...ah, hell."

Of course, that's how Bella finds me. Raking a hand through my hair and cursing a blue streak in front of her four-year-old.

With pursed lips and her arms crossed over her chest—eyes on her face, Cullen—she leans in the doorway. "Well, well. Look what the cat dragged in, Lo."

Frowning and scratching his cheek, Arlo asks, "What cat?"

Unintentionally silly though it may be, Arlo's retort diffuses some of my nerves.

Why was I worried? It's just Arlo and Bella. And I guess Jaxson and Finley are around here somewhere.

Except...

There's nothing just about them. They're important to me in a way I never expected.

"It's a figure of speech, kiddo," she finally sighs, shaking her head with the fondest of smiles aimed at her kid. "Lunch is ready. Come inside and wash up, please."

"'Kay."

As he takes off inside, Max follows dutifully. Bella stares at me for a long moment. I've just about geared myself up to apologize and excuse myself when her lips curl up into a wide smile. "You, too. You know where the washroom is. Lunch is on the table, so don't dawdle."

With that, she's gone and I'm left in the middle of the yard with a slack jaw and warmth spreading through my veins.

It takes a minute to organize my thoughts, so by the time I've stepped inside and washed my hands in the little washroom that barely fits my tall, broad frame, Bella, Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo are sitting at the small, round dining table overlooking the backyard. Max has his usual spot at Arlo's feet.

"Here, Edward," Arlo chimes. "You sit by me. I saved you a spot."

Ruffling his hair, I do as I'm told and take my seat beside him. "Thanks, buddy." Turning to Finley, I offer what I hope is an apologetic enough smile. He cocks his head at me for a second and I've never been more nervous of a six-year-old than I am right now.

"D'you want to share the smoky cheese? Nobody else likes it 'cept us."

Relief rushes through me like a tsunami. Blowing out a long breath, my smile becomes more genuine and I nod. "I'd like that. Thanks, buddy."

Bella hasn't skimped on food, that's for sure. A selection of meats, cheeses, and salad takes up a good chunk of the table. A large pitcher of what looks like homemade lemonade sits in the center, a stack of five plates and cutlery beside it.

"This looks…"

"Scrumdiddlyumptious!" Arlo finishes for me as I take a seat.

My eyebrows climb my forehead. "Scrumdiddly…"

"It's a Nanny Jude word," he explains frankly. Ah, makes sense. Turning to his mom, he reminds her that he promised Jude a bonus call this week when they go to 'the big park,' so she can see it.

"The big park?"

"Lake Eola."

Ah. "Charlie and Rae used to take you there."

Bella nods, tucking into the mini feast spread across the table. "All the time. I want the boys to see it, too." A pensive look crosses her face. "You can come, if you want."

"That'd be cool," Jaxson says through puffy cheeks. Bella softly reminds him to chew and swallow before stuffing more food into his mouth, then returns her gaze to my face.

While the boys are distracted by the food, I allow myself a moment to soak her in. With her hair twisted back in a knot matching Arlo's, her cheeks rosy and her eyes bright as she watches me watch her, she's the most stunning thing I've ever seen. Even in holey shorts and a tee stained with what appears to be paint, she's beautiful. I've missed her more than I let myself believe.

"Here you go, Edward," Finely murmurs, pulling my focus away from his mom as he hands me the smoked cheese.

"Thanks, buddy."

Listening to the boys chatter amongst themselves, only occasionally asking for participation from me and their mom, fills me with a sense of peace that's as unfamiliar as it is welcome. My chest heaves with a sigh as I admit to myself that it reminds me of meal times at the table with Willow; their presence makes me feel nostalgic for my own daughter.

Bella's fingers twining themselves with mine across the table tug me from my thoughts. My lips curl up on one side as I squeeze them; the relief her small gesture elicits is astronomical.

I'm not off the hook, not by any means, but this...it's a do-over I didn't dare hope for.

A fresh start I'm determined not to waste.

**~ oOo ~**

"C'mon, Max!" Arlo yells, running up the drive with Arlo on his leash at his side. "Nana and Papa are waiting!"

Chuckling, I wave Bella forward and follow her up the porch steps. Arlo doesn't pause to knock or ask to be let in. He throws the door open, announcing his presence with a sing-songy, "Honey, I'm home!"

My eyebrows jump up my forehead. "Where did he learn that?"

Bella snorts and shakes her head, closing the front door behind us. "Dad says it to Mom sometimes. I suppose he's heard it from him."

"My little loves, you're here!" Renee appears in the doorway, sliding her sunglasses into her hair and hitching up her skirt so she can crouch to hug her grandsons as they dive into her arms. Max lets out a squeaky bark and jumps into the middle of them, his wagging tail and sloppy-tongued kisses making them all laugh.

"Can we play in the pool? It's so hot," Jaxson tells his nana with a huff, dramatically wiping his brow for good measure.

Renee's lips curl up into a grin. "Of course, you can, sweetheart. Shall we have dinner first, do you think?"

The boys whine, but it's only half-hearted, especially when Charlie joins us carrying a platter of baby back ribs, the smell of BBQ sauce riding the faintest wisps of a breeze.

"Well, well. Does this mean I have to share my ribs?" he teases good-naturedly, setting the food on the counter so Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo can hug his legs. Ruffling their hair, he turns his attention to Bella and me. My pulse speeds up a little as he looks between us.

Please don't ask any questions, Charlie. I don't think you'll like the answers.

Obviously thinking quicker than I'm able, Bella pulls him into a hug and plants a kiss on his cheek. "Hi, Dad. Edward and I thought it would be easier to carpool seeing as we're starting and finishing at the same time, and we're neighbors now."

"That sounds like a good idea," Charlie murmurs, holding her against his side and shooting me a grin. "Hey, EC. I hope you know what you're in for, hiring this one."

With a wry smile and a wink for Bella, I nod and bend to pat Max, who has apparently decided the zip on the pocket of my cargo shorts is fair game as a teether. "I think I can handle her. We'll give it a good go, at least."

While Bella pretends to look outraged, I can see the mischief dancing in her steel gray eyes as she rolls them at me and wiggles free of her dad's grip to round up her boys. "Yeah, yeah. Let's all gang up on Bella, why don't we? You three love me, don't you?"

All three boys nod and offer her kisses and cuddles before tearing off after Charlie, who admits that he has food on the grill he needs to check on. "Take care of my girl, EC," he warns teasingly, pointing at me. "I'm trusting you with her."

If only he knew what he was saying.

After giving Renee a hug, and reminding her that Max is a liability and needs watching virtually 24-7, Bella follows me back out to the Jeep so we can drive to Burger Co. I can't help but grin all the way there, glancing across at Bella in her jean shorts and Burger Co. tee every now and then. She finally laughs and twists to face me better.

"Okay, what are you grinning at, mister?"

"Just you," I admit readily, chuckling at her attempt to stifle her smile. "Do you have any questions about tonight? Any concerns or anything?"

Frowning, she runs her hands through her hair before slipping a band from her wrist and twisting her locks back into a ponytail. My fingers itch against the steering wheel, wanting to take the place of her hands in her soft hair. "I don't think so...I mean, I did okay the other day, didn't I?"

"You were great. You handled everything like a pro."

"Then I think I'll be fine." In the corner of my eye, I see her smile turn mischievous. "I do have one question, boss."

Stifling a groan, I studiously ignore the fact that my dick likes the tone she uses to call me 'boss' and hum a questioning, "Oh yeah? What's that?"

"Will I get fired for harassment if I can't keep my hands off you?"

Shaking my head a little too fast, I quickly feel my ears burning when she laughs at my resolute, "No way."

It does raise a question for me, though. One that really needs to be asked before this, whatever it is between us, grows stronger.

"What are your thoughts on privacy?" I ask, a little hesitant to hear her answer. There aren't any parking spaces particularly close to the restaurant, so she has a minute or two to think while I hunt down a spot big enough for the Jeep. When I finally kill the engine, she breathes a shaky sigh and purses her lips.

"I think we need to be careful. This," she motions between us, "scares the life out of me. You're you, and I'm just me—"

"There's no 'just' about you, Bella," I interject, reaching across to squeeze her thigh. "And if it makes you feel any better, I'm terrified, too."

Bella flushes, twisting her fingers around mine. "It feels weird to say it, but yeah, it does make me feel better that I'm not the only one nervous about where this is or isn't leading. I think it's safe to say I'm a little gun-shy with the whole men and relationships thing."

"Same here." Her eyes widen, and I realize my slip. "Shit, I mean...obviously not men." Grumbling a curse, I rake my free hand through my hair and offer a rueful smile. "You know exactly what I mean, short stuff, and I feel the same. I'm working through some stuff at the moment…"

I don't think I need to expand on what that stuff is. Her understanding nod and squeeze of her fingers speaks volumes.

"But I've never felt like this before, Bella, and I want you to know that." Staring down at our joined hands, I realize that I'm not exaggerating even a little. With Kate—and I hate to compare the two women because Bella is a hundred times the woman Kate ever was or will be—it was always easy but, looking back, it was boring. I don't feel that with Bella at all. She's exciting, her very presence refreshing. Slowly but surely, she's breathing life back into me. Our situation is complicated, but I already feel like she's worth it.

Nothing about 'us' will be easy.

For one, she has three sons. Baggage that would have a lot of men—including those boys' own father—running for the hills. Not me, though. I'm already falling hard for Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo, and it took spending time with Matty to realize that the avuncular connection I have with him and my godchildren is different to the bonds I'm already building with Bella's boys. I'm not going to go as far as saying I feel like their dad, but I don't feel about them the same way I feel about Garrett and Tanya's girls or Matty.

Then there's my own baggage. I'm a big boy—I can admit that I have plenty of issues, most of which go back to losing my Willow and the aftermath of that, least of all Kate and the revelation she threw at me when she tossed the divorce papers onto the coffee table the day after we buried our daughter.

Last, but certainly not least, is the biggest obstacle we'll face if this develops further.

"Charlie and Renee…"

Bella winces, dropping her gaze. "They're not going to take it well, are they?"

"The truth? I don't think so, no." Squeezing her hand, I wait for her to look at me before speaking so I know she'll see the conviction in my eyes when I continue. "You're worth whatever issues we'll face if it comes to that, Bella. It might take time, but I believe they care more about you than they might care about our age gap."

"I think so, too," she eventually murmurs, chewing her lip.

Carefully tugging it free with my thumb, I offer her a small smile. "How about we worry about all this when we have to and just enjoy the peace we have now, huh?"

"That sounds good to me." Brightening, she sucks in a deep breath and glances around the Jeep before leaning in for a quick but passionate kiss when she sees that there's nobody looking. "C'mon then, let's get to it. I don't want my boss to punish me for being late on my first day."

Grumbling under my breath even as I savor the taste of her lip balm on my lips, I join her on the sidewalk to walk the twenty or so feet to Burger Co. "He won't punish you for being late, but he might spank you for being a tease."

Tossing a smirk over her shoulder and leading the way into the restaurant, where she knows there are too many listening ears for me to respond, she sings, "Promises, promises, boss."

Brat.

**~ oOo ~**

As it happens, I don't think I fully appreciated how distracting it would be having Bella here until tonight.

While I whip the kitchen into shape, helping them catch up after a hellish afternoon, I catch myself trying to get glimpses of her through the serving hatch.

When I move behind the bar, I spend as much time watching Bella effortlessly interacting with the customers as I do making drinks and serving customers of my own.

And when she disappears down to the stockroom to grab a bottle of champagne for a couple celebrating their wedding anniversary, I make an excuse to follow her and grin when Lily distractedly asks me to change the beer barrel while I'm down there, which gives me an excuse to take a few minutes.

Sneaking isn't an option when you're my size and the stairs creak, so she's expecting me when I get to the bottom and offer her a smirk. "Fancy seeing you here, handsome."

Handsome. That's the second time she's called me that. The first was the morning after our first time above the restaurant. I...actually, I like it. I've never been one for pet names, but coming from her, it doesn't sound cheesy or patronizing.

"Fancy that," I hum, casually sauntering into her personal space so she has to back up. Caging her in against the wall, I feel the deep breath she sucks in thanks to her chest brushing mine.

"You know, I should probably get back up to my tables," she whispers breathily, tipping her head to the side so I can have more room to trail my nose over her neck. How does she still smell so good after two hours of rushing around up there? "My boss is kind of a tyrant."

"A tyrant, huh?" I smirk, pressing a soft, barely-there kiss against the skin below her ear, delighted with the shiver it elicits, the soft moan it pulls from her chest.

"Mmhm. I wouldn't want to get in trouble on my first shift."

"Maybe you'd like the punishment," I offer lightly, skating my mouth over her neck, up to her jaw, then across to her lips. She doesn't fight it at all. Her hands grip my tee by my waist, her body leaning into mine as she teases me with the tip of her tongue until I allow her entry, the sweet soda she's been drinking lingering on her breath along with the faint remnants of her lip balm.

It's a heady combination. She's a heady mix of sweetness and fire as she slides her hands up to my neck, rocking her hips against my thigh with a mewled cry that reminds me of the sounds she makes in bed.

A muffled hoot and holler from upstairs reminds me that my staff could walk down any second and find us. Cooling the heat before it can burn us, I break away with a quiet groan and rest my forehead against hers.

"You're too much temptation for your own good."

She laughs quietly, her gaze too intense when I open my eyes just an inch or two away from hers. "Ditto, handsome. Ditto."

Taking one last kiss to carry me through the evening, I take a big step away from her and decide distance is going to be key to getting through the rest of the shift without mauling her, not that I think she'd complain.

"All right, you. Get back to work."

Smirking, she salutes me. "Sir, yes, sir."

Lightly swatting her butt, I grin and get to work switching the beer barrels over for Lily, reminding her what she came down here for when it becomes obvious she's forgotten.

I won't lie—it's definitely an ego boost for this nearly-thirty-nine-year-old, knowing that I can thoroughly distract Bella when she could have her pick of basically any guy, that it's me she wants.

I can't help but notice the attention she receives when she's out and about; it's impossible to miss it. Even tonight, there have been more than a few gawking guys admiring her. It doesn't help that she radiates joy wherever she goes, that stunning smile of hers offset by the vibrancy of her hair and the twinkle in her eyes as she banters back and forth with her tables and the other servers.

We have Lily and Garrett out front with us tonight, Jones, Kelly, and TJ in the kitchen. We're running like a well-oiled machine and Bella fits in like she's been here all along.

"Could you make some cocktails for table two, please?" Lily asks, sliding behind me to get to the shake station a few minutes after I return.

"Sure thing. What do you need?"

Rattling off their order, she shoots a quick grin over her shoulder. "Great job poaching Bella, boss. She fits in perfectly."

Flashing her a smile of my own before searching out a laughing Bella, my stomach flip-flopping when she catches me looking and winks before continuing her conversation, I can't help but agree.

**~ oOo ~**

Pulling up outside Bella's house on Saturday morning, I'm not surprised in the slightest to see the boys and Max already out on the porch. The puppy is loosely tied to the railing, the boys sitting on the steps beside him. Their faces light up when I cruise to a stop and step out onto the sidewalk. "Are you all ready to go?"

"Edward!" Jaxson turns to thump the propped-open door with his fist. "Momma, Edward's here!"

After pausing to untie Max, Arlo tears down the path with the puppy hot on his heels. Crashing into my legs, he peers up at me with his usual cheeky grin, his hair tied in a bun on top of his head. "Hey, buddy," I chuckle, tweaking his nose. "Are you ready to go to Lake Eola?"

It turns out Bella wasn't messing when she invited me to the park with them. Because she's a mean, mean woman, she got the boys to tag team me and talk me into putting off my paperwork and coming to the lake with them this morning. Truthfully though, I'm glad of the break. It's been pretty hectic at Burger Co., even for early August. Any thoughts I had about working on the brand expansion have been shoved to the back of my mind because between working as much as I can to ease the pressure on my crew and trying to spend time with Bella and the boys, I haven't had a free moment.

Of course, that also means I haven't had time to see Kendra, either. She left a chastising voicemail yesterday with a reminder that I'm overdue another session.

"Momma's made a huge picnic," Finley tells me softly, toying with his ear. I've noticed that he does it when he's feeling shy, but I've also noticed that he's doing it less around me. It's a pretty good feeling.

As I grin and ruffle his hair, the woman herself appears lugging a basket that looks heavier than her.

"Christ, Bella," I chuckle, hurrying up the path to take it from her. "How many people are you feeding?"

Cocking her head, she offers me a smirk and locks up the house. "You realize the boys are coming, right? This might last through the morning, just about. They'll still be hungry before dinner."

"I actually don't doubt that at all," I concede, knowing better than to underestimate the appetites on those boys. "Are you ready?"

After checking her purse, she grins and slides her sunglasses down over her eyes. "I sure am. Let's get moving."

Deciding it's easier to leave the seats where they are and take Bella's car, I grab my things from the Jeep and leave it where it is, climbing into the passenger seat as Bella barks orders at the boys and reminds them that we have an hour and a half in the car ahead of us.

"Can we stop for a shake?" Finley wonders.

Grinning, I reach for the cardboard cup holder in the foot well, glad the boys were too distracted getting themselves and Max into the car to notice it. "You didn't think I'd come empty-handed, did you, buddy?"

Finley's eyes light up as I hand him his go-to shake—Oreo whipped cream and chocolate shavings, heavy on the shavings. I'm sure I'll regret filling them with sugar right before a long drive, but they'll be able to run it off at the park.

"Thanks, Edward!"

Jaxson and Arlo are equally appreciative of theirs—KitKat and Fudge Sundae, respectively—but it's Bella's smile that makes me cock my head in question. "What?"

"Nothing," she lies, shaking her head as we roll off the drive.

"I brought one for you, too."

"Seriously?"

"Yep. You have to guess the flavor correctly to get it, though."

"Ooh, a game! Good luck, Momma," Finley says between slurps of his drink.

Bella makes a good show of pretending to think before shooting me a wink as we cruise by the 'Welcome to Jackson Bay' sign on the way toward Orlando.

"Is it Oreo cheesecake, by any chance?"

"It sure is," I murmur, handing it over and making my situation, uh, hard, by watching her sneak a few pulls through the straw before setting the cup in the drinks holder. Okay, so giving her something to suck on maybe wasn't a great idea.

"Winner, winner, chicken dinner!" Arlo crows, explaining his crazy away with a shrug and a goofy grin. "It's a Nanny Jude saying."

Of course it is.

**~ oOo ~**

When Bella invited me to join her and the boys at the park, it seemed easy to push the memories I have here to the back of my mind.

Being here, having those memories shoved in my face everywhere I turn, is another game entirely.

I can tell Bella has noticed my slight distraction, but I try to keep it hidden from the boys. I smile and laugh with them as they take turns dropping sticks into the water from the little bridge and watching to see whose gets to the other side the quickest. Max is thoroughly confused by the whole thing, almost tipping himself into the water in his attempts to reach the sticks as they sail past him. I'm a good sport when they tell Bella and I we have to do it, too, and my stick never reappears while hers rushes past toward the lake.

After a slow, leisurely lap of the lake, during which the boys are thoroughly distracted by everything around them and Max delights in greeting every person and dog he meets, I spy Bella watching me and link our fingers together, swinging them between us for a few paces before giving them a squeeze and releasing her, stuffing my hands in my pockets so they can't get me into trouble.

"Can we go on the swings?" Jaxson yells from up ahead when we get within sight of the playground.

"Sure. Arlo, stay with your brothers."

I don't think he's listening, but he waves over his shoulder all the same. Smirking, I shake my head.

"I'm gonna go smother them in sunscreen," Bella says softly when we get to the gate leading into the playground. Looping her arm around my waist, she gives me a quick hug and tries to hide the worry in her eyes when I meet her gaze. I was thinking I'd been doing well at concealing how this place is making me feel, but apparently not.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I can't be normal for you.

"Come join us when you're ready," she finally breathes in lieu of pressing me. I'm grateful for her understanding.

Only once I've taken Max's leash from her and watched Bella join the boys, hauling them off the jungle gym to slather them in UV 50 sunscreen, do I sigh and let my feet take me to the spot I've occupied many times over the years. Max bumbles along beside me, more than content to flop down at my feet when I come to a standstill.

With my back to the playground, my eyes on the Orlando skyline, I release a shaky breath and allow all the emotions rushing around inside me to bubble to the surface.

Here, I feel close to her. Here, with the rippling lake at my feet and the quiet click of the branches overhead brushing each other in the breeze. Here, where I both learned of her existence and chose her name.

Under the willows.

* * *

**As requested, I've added a picture of Bella's hair to the Pinterest board ;) If you want to see pictures of the Jackson Bay crew and snoop on my inspiration for the bay itself, I have a board called 'Under The Willows' and my account is under the same name as I am here.**

**As always, huge thanks to my wonderful team of ladies who call me on my bull and point out when I'm being too liberal with my 'it's fiction' excuse. **annaharding, LizziePaige, ThatSoAlex, Anakinsmom, **and** LadyLoonie, **I love you all dearly. ****And I love each and every one of you who reads, reviews, and recommends this little tale of mine. Come friend me on Facebook - Ciara Shayee Hill - to chit chat with me and see the visuals I create to go with each chapter.**


	22. Chapter 22 - Bella

**I could waffle up here all day, oooor I could just wish you all a happy, healthy New Year and let you get on with it ;)**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

_**Bella**_

"There you go, kiddo."

"Thanks, Momma," Arlo yells as he shoves the Gators cap Benjamin gave him onto his head, tugging his short ponytail through the hole in the back as he runs to join his brothers in the digger sand pit. Confident they're basted in sunscreen like Thanksgiving turkeys, I turn my attention to Edward.

My heart thumps harder when my searching gaze locates him over by the water, Max at his feet, Orlando his backdrop, and the willow branches his frame. If it weren't for the fact that I can see the tide of grief attempting to swallow him whole, I'd be tempted to take a picture. He's so beautiful, even fighting the demons that haunt him.

Glancing at my boys to make sure they're okay, I rise from my crouched position and sit on the bench behind me. I can't even begin to comprehend how it must feel to lose a child, and Edward was forced to watch the very accident that stole her from him. I was heavily pregnant when it happened, just days from delivering Jaxson and Finley though I didn't know it at the time, and I still remember Mom's voice when she called to tell me there had been an accident.

"_Phew," I pant, sucking in a deep breath before snatching my phone from the table before it rings off. Being thirty-five weeks pregnant with twins is no damn joke. Only a shade taller than five feet, I'm more belly than Bella at this point. "Mom, hi. Sorry, it takes me a while to get anywhere and my cell was on the kitchen table."_

_Instead of her usual cheery greeting, I'm met with silence. Frowning, I check the screen to make sure the call hasn't dropped before raising it to my ear again. "Mom?"_

"_Honey…" She trails off, and I hear mumbling in the background. Dad, maybe. Fear starts to spread through my veins._

"_Is everything okay? Are you all right? And Dad?" The names of my siblings stumble out of my mouth, followed by my grandparents. She assures me they're all fine before pausing and clearing her throat, obviously emotional. "Edward…"_

_It's obvious from her hesitation that I've hit the nail on the head._

"_Mom, is Edward okay?"_

"_Bella, honey, remember to breathe and try not to panic, all right? Is Jude with you?"_

"_No, she's_—" _I hear keys in the door, then Jude appears in the doorway with pinched brows and a worried grimace. "She's right here," I admit shakily, my worry increasing. Mom must have called her. "Mom, Edward…"_

"_He's hurt, but he's going to be okay" she finally sighs. "There's been an accident."_

I can still remember the icy fear that slithered through my veins when those words left her mouth. She stayed on the phone with me for almost an hour while Jude held me as I sobbed for Edward, Kate, and beautiful little Willow.

"_The car was going almost sixty miles per hour when it hit the Jeep with Willow inside."_

And Edward saw that. He was a front-row spectator. Then he spent two weeks by her bedside waiting for her to wake up. I know that part because I spoke to Mom often and she was so worried about him that she took to sitting with him at the hospital so he wouldn't be alone, Kate 'too distraught to see her daughter that way.' I still don't understand how she stayed away. If any of my boys were in hospital, the doctors would have to drag me away from them kicking and screaming.

A shudder ripples down my spine despite the steadily increasing heat. Taking a few mouthfuls of the water bottle in the bag at my feet, I blow out a breath and force myself to give Edward a few minutes to gather his thoughts. I said I'd wait for him to join us, but that doesn't feel right. He needs support, not distance. I often wonder if it's people's willingness to give him so much space to withdraw into himself that has allowed such a fundamental alteration of his personality. The once-vibrant life of the party is now a shell of the man I remember, though I have seen glimpses of the old Edward. Little moments where his crooked smile seems genuine, his laughter uninhibited and natural.

When he hasn't moved an inch after twenty minutes, I tell the boys to stay on the jungle gym nearest the fence, where I'll be able to see them, and jog out of the gated area, slowing when I near Edward. Max looks up at me, his tail thumping the grass a few times before his attention is diverted by a falling leaf. Edward's shoulders lift and fall in a deep, shaky breath just as my palm lands at the small of his back.

"Edward…" I whisper, suddenly unsure.

Without facing me, he lifts an arm to tug me into his side. His grip is almost bruising, but I hold him to me just as tight, hoping he can take comfort from me as he visibly struggles with his emotions. After checking on the boys again, I follow his glazed eyes out over the water in front of us, listening to the quiet lap of the water meeting the shore and the soft brush of the willow tree leaves clicking together overhead. Even with the children screaming and squealing at our backs, it's peaceful—until I hear Edward mumble a curse, his free hand angrily dashing tears from his cheeks before they can sneak down into his beard.

"I was sitting over there when Kate called to say she was pregnant."

Hesitating, I follow his nod to a wide willow tree trunk a few feet away. I can imagine a younger Edward sitting there, his handsome face made even more so by a crooked grin. God, he adored Willow. She was his world the same way the boys are mine. They were made to be together, made to be each other's sunshine.

"I'd had a horrendous day, that day. We were already behind with the construction on the house when a pipe burst, so I was having to sleep in a tent in the backyard. Your mom and dad made me come stay with you guys when they found out." Edward shakes his head, his gaze far-off, his thoughts clearly back in the past. I think I remember it, actually. Mom made up the den for him. "We'd been trying for nearly six years by then, had two rounds of IVF. Willow was our last shot."

IVF… "I didn't know that," I admit, realizing that it would have been odd if I _had _known. I was only fifteen when Willow was born, too young to have been privy to those kind of details about Edward and Kate's life.

"We didn't talk about it much." Quietly, he admits, "_I _didn't talk about it much. I was so ashamed that I couldn't do something I felt should be natural, easy. When we first got married, I wasn't a hundred percent onboard with rushing into having a baby. By the time Willow came along, I was so ready to be a dad."

This time, as tears drip over his cheeks, he ignores them. My heart aches for him, my arm squeezing tighter around his middle.

"I was here when I decided on her name, too."

My lips curl up slightly in a tiny smile. "That's beautiful. And 'Belle' after me…" I tease.

Chuckling tearfully, he looks down at me for the first time, the grassy green of his eyes brighter than usual. 'Beautiful' is a word I never would have associated with men if it weren't for him. "You wish, short stuff. Belle was Kate's grandma."

"Mmhmm, you keep telling yourself that, handsome."

Shaking his head with a small smile, he tilts his head to rest his cheek against the crown of my head.

As soon as the next words leave my mouth, I know I've hit a nerve, I just don't understand _why _he flinches and grits his teeth. "She was your little clone."

"So I've been told," he murmurs, his low tone gravelly.

"Momma!" The screech of the playground gate and Jaxson's nervous whine has us both spinning around. "Finley fell over, Momma," he pants, getting close enough for me to hear him before turning on his heel and sprinting back to his brothers, who I can see sitting on the floor through the bars of the playground.

With a quick glance at Edward's carefully neutral face, I take off after Jaxson, relaxing more when I get closer and see that Finley just has scraped knees and hurt pride.

"What happened, kiddo?" I soothe, kissing his sweaty head before scooping him up, sitting on the bench behind me, and setting him on my lap.

"I t-tripped," he stutters shakily, palming his red cheeks as he tries to stop himself from crying. My sweet, sensitive middle child. Pointing at his sneakers, he blows out a big breath. "My laces got loose and I tripped over them comin' to get you."

Guilt rushes through me. If I'd stayed right where I was, I would have been able to grab Finley and tie his laces before he fell over and hurt himself.

Edward swooping in saves me from falling too deep into my pit of mom-guilt. I glance behind him, spotting Max sitting patiently on the other side of the fence, his big eyes trained intently on us. He can't come in the playground, but I'm glad he can still be close enough that he isn't nervous. "Do you know how to tie your own laces, buddy?"

Finley shakes his head, watching Edward as he drops to a crouch in front of us. "Would you like me to show you how I learned? My dad taught me the bunny trick when I was about your age, and I think you'll get it, easy peasy."

Glancing at me, Finley waits for me to smile and nod encouragingly before facing Edward and saying "Yes, please" like the good, polite boy he is.

"All right. So you take both laces like this, see?"

Patient and slow, Edward walks Finley through the steps to get his laces looped together and tied in a neat bow. He does it the first time, then undoes them and coaches Finley as he gives it a ago. My smile borders on painful when Jaxson and Arlo drop down to their butts to try it, too; Edward lets Finley keep practicing while he shows his brothers how to do it with the same level of calm understanding and patience.

"Like this, Ed?" Arlo asks, shooting me an odd look when I snort and grin at Edward's wince. "What?"

"Edward doesn't like being called 'Ed,' kiddo," I laugh.

"Oh…"

"It's okay, buddy. You can call me whatever you like."

"You'll regret saying that."

Edward raises his eyebrows, glancing away to help Arlo with his tangled laces before returning his attention to me. "Why?"

"Because he'll probably come up with some ridiculous nickname now."

Arlo flashes us both a mischievous grin and nods. "Yep! I'm gonna think of somethin' good and funny."

"Good and funny sounds perfect to me," Edward tells him with a wink, tapping the peak of his hat before looking up at me. I'm pleased to see that some of the lightness from this morning, when he first picked us up, has returned. "Shall we go find a spot to eat our picnic?"

Stifling the urge to reach out and cup his face, I tighten my arms around Finley instead. "That sounds like a great idea."

**~ oOo ~**

"Come on, little face. Let's get you to bed."

"I'm not sleepy—_yawn_—though." Arlo offers me a sheepish smile when his words are completely contradicted by his loud yawn as I carry him toward his bedroom. "Okay, maybe I'm a _tiny bit_ sleepy."

"Let's go, Lo."

As I tuck Arlo into bed with his stuffed tiger, Timothy the Second, I smile at Arlo's soft humming. "What tune is that?"

"I don't know," he admits with a slight shrug, wiggling around to get comfortable under his blanket. "Edward was hummin' it before." His eyelids are already drooping as I perch on the edge of the bed, running my fingers through his wild mane and brushing the soft locks away from his face. I know I'm biased, but he really is a beautiful child with his dark, dark eyes and almost honey blond hair. One day, this kid is going to be a serious heartbreaker and I'll have to beat girls, or boys, away from him with a stick. I've heard parents of girls threatening to wield shotguns when boys come knocking, but as a mom of three boys, I'll be fuming if any of my sons come home one day and tell me they had a gun anywhere near them. I'll kill any person who dares to pull a gun on my sons.

Blinking his obscenely long lashes, Arlo glances over my shoulder at the door and whispers hopefully, "Can Edward come say night, too?"

"I'm here, buddy."

Warmth spreads through my chest as I turn to peer over my shoulder, Edward arriving to lean hesitantly in the doorway. Releasing a girly sigh, I can't help but bask in my happiness. We've had such a lovely day.

We ate our picnic under the wide, swaying willow boughs with the boys chatting happily and Max chewing on a new bone. Edward's smile barely wavered, his earlier thoughts not forgotten, because he'll never forget Willow, but sidelined at least for the afternoon as he tossed the boys in the air after lunch and showed them how to fly the kite Dad gave them. With full bellies, we sprawled out on our plaid blanket and cloudgazed until the boys grew restless, then Edward somehow carried a sleepy, slightly over-walked Max back to the car where he snored for the entire drive back to Jackson Bay.

After walking us inside, Edward headed out to Burger Co. for a few hours, returning shortly before six with two big paper bags of all the boys' favorites from the restaurant. If they hadn't already worshipped the ground he walks on, they would have after he showed up with one of almost everything on the menu.

My smile almost hurt when he rubbed his neck, bashfully admitting that he'd memorized Jaxson's, Finley's, and Arlo's usual orders so he could bring them back with him.

Then we had a glorious evening relaxing in the backyard. The boys begged to have the sprinkler switched on, so I got it set up on the grass while they changed into their board shorts. Edward and I sipped cold soda on the porch as Jaxson, Finley, Arlo, and Max cooled themselves off in the water as the sunlight slowly sunk beyond the horizon, painting the sky all the colors of the rainbow. Interspersed with the boys' squeals and Max's excited yips was the sea meeting the shore on the other side of the dunes and gulls squawking overhead as they headed to their sleeping spots for the night.

He wears a small smile as he steps into Arlo's bedroom now, his eyes asking my permission as he hikes up the fabric of his shorts over his thighs, crouching beside me so he's eye-level with Arlo. Nodding, I swallow the lump of emotion lodged in my throat and take a metaphorical step back.

"Will you tell me a story?"

"Sure, buddy." Instead of reaching for the books stacked on Arlo's nightstand, Edward purses his lips for a moment before nodding, seemingly to himself, and cocking his head slightly. "Can I make one up?"

"They're the best kind." Arlo's words are mumbled and closely followed by a yawn that leaves his eyes watering.

"I agree." Edward keeps his eyes on Arlo as he starts telling a story about a young knight, winking at my gleeful son when he tells him the knight's name is 'Arlo.' I can hear Max scratching the door down the hall, so I excuse myself and leave them to it, following Max out into the backyard. As he potters around the grass, sniffing and glancing at me periodically to make sure I haven't gone anywhere, I let myself feel the unexpected rush of grief that flowed through my veins as I watched Edward give my son the bedtime story he's never gotten from his own father, as I mourned the fact that Edward should be able to give that bedtime story to his daughter every single night, but he can't.

It's not fair that Arlo is missing out on a dad, that Edward is missing out on his little girl.

My heart hurts for them both, a choppy breath escaping my lungs just as Edward's boots hitting the porch alert me to his presence.

"Arlo's asleep," he whispers, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind and resting his chin on my shoulder. The rasp of his beard against my skin feels amazing, but my stomach still churns, my chest still aches, and I bet it's still nothing on how Edward feels each and every day he has to go on without Willow. Twisting in his embrace, I cling to Edward's chest, hot tears leaking from my squeezed-shut eyes.

"Hey," he breathes, gently tugging my face away from him with a thumb under my chin. "What's wrong?"

"I…" Looking into his eyes, his beautiful, grassy green gaze, I'm mortified to feel more tears tumbling over my cheeks. His worry is clear as day, his thumb soft as he brushes the moisture away. My pulse races under my skin as his brows furrow. The emotions rushing through me, this protectiveness, isn't unfamiliar. It's similar to the love I feel for my sons, the way I always want to look after them and keep them from hurting.

It terrifies me.

Two weeks ago, I admitted to myself that I could easily see myself falling for Edward. Standing here now, with the fading sunlight highlighting the copper in his hair and the gold flecks in his eyes, I know for sure that resisting my feelings for him would be pointless. This man, with all his complexities and baggage, has breached my barriers in spectacular fashion and made a mockery of my determination to swear off men upon my return to Florida. It hasn't even been two months, but the way I feel about him far surpasses friendship or a mere crush. Seeing him with the boys today, after listening to him talk about Willow and how much he enjoyed taking her to Lake Eola, has shown me that the Edward I used to know is still in there somewhere. The fun-loving, crooked-grinning Edward I harbored a crush on years ago is desperate to escape the hard-faced, closed-off Edward of today.

I see him in the moments when he thinks he isn't being watched. My mind is full of seemingly innocuous interactions between Edward and my sons; of expressions on his face when he believes nobody's paying attention; of the fantasies that he inspires when he looks at me like I'm someone he wants and when he holds me and coaxes pleasure from my body that I didn't know I was capable of feeling.

"What's going on in that beautiful head of yours, short stuff?" he finally whispers, lightly bumping his forehead against mine.

I'm scared to even acknowledge my own thoughts, let alone voice them into existence. I'm scared that he'll think I'm ridiculous and unloading all my crazy will be the thing that pushes him away.

But above all, I'm absolutely terrified that I'm falling in love with him and there's a very real chance that he doesn't, and won't ever, feel the same.

**~ oOo ~**

The following morning, I'm not surprised when I wake up in an empty bed. Edward surprised me by staying over last night even after I used a timely knock on the front door to avoid having to tell him what was on my mind. Jane Samuels' interruption saved me; she wanted to invite me and the boys over for dinner next week. Thankfully, Edward is easily distracted—a few teasing kisses and a little nudge toward the hall led us to the bedroom, where we eventually fell asleep curled around each other. Waking up alone doesn't come as a shock, though. He always sneaks out before the boys can bust us.

Stretching out with a yawn that makes my eyes water and sends jolts of pleasure down my spine, I glance over at the clock and frown. It's way past the time Jaxson would usually have me out of bed, not to mention Max. The fact that it's quiet makes me nervous, so I don't pause to use the bathroom before slipping a long t-shirt over my head and hurrying out of my bedroom. Finding Jaxson and Finley's room empty, I figure the boys are congregating in Arlo's bedroom; they're all loving the bay window as a spot for playing with their extensive Lego collection. Only, when I push open the door, already smiling, my stomach lurches.

They aren't there, either.

"Boys?" I call, more than a hint of panic coloring my tone. When no answer comes, and no bear-like puppy comes running, I speed through the house, checking every room before finding myself throwing open the door to the backyard. It's only as it swings open and I'm seconds from a full-blown panic attack that I feel something stuck to my bare foot. The pink Post-It comes from the stack on the kitchen counter. The boys like to draw and write on them while I cook, sometimes. The writing on this one doesn't belong to any of my sons, though.

_Short stuff, don't freak out. The boys were getting restless and hot so I offered up the pool. Come find us when you're up, we have breakfast. Edward and the boys._

Palming my racing heart, I tip my head back to the ceiling and close my eyes, sucking in a deep breath to try and calm myself down. Reminding myself that Edward thought he was doing a nice thing by taking the boys, I squash my anger and the fear blazing through my veins and quickly get myself ready, skipping a shower in favor of getting down the street sooner. Bypassing the front door, I head straight to the gate and let myself in.

Any residual annoyance I felt seconds ago pours from my body, my shoulders sagging and my heart taking off at a sprint.

Shirtless and dressed only in a pair of flamingo-print board shorts and his aviators, Edward has Jaxson under one arm, Finley under the other; Arlo is already in the water, lounging on an inflatable crocodile and giggling like a crazy thing. None of them have noticed me yet, so I get to watch with a ridiculous smile on my face as Edward counts down from three before tossing both boys into the pool to the sounds of their little brother's laughter. The uninhibited, sun-soaked smile on Edward's face as he guffaws at the put-out looks on my sons' faces when they break the surface fills me with hope and happiness.

He's magnificent in his joy, resplendent in his openness. There's no hiding when he's alone with the boys like this. No defenses. I can't bring myself to feel jealous of my sons because I get to see this and know that, with time, he can be this man all the time. I believe in him and I believe in the power of love to get him through the trials we'll face.

When Arlo spots me, tipping himself off his float in his excitement, Edward's head pops up and his smile-crinkled eyes find my beaming grin. I see the lightness in his gaze, the happiness in his lopsided smile, and I know.

I'm not the only one falling.

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**Okay, so normal posting service can resume. Yay! I'll return to the usual Wednesday/Sunday schedule now the holiday madness has died down. We're still looking at around 32/33 chapters, so there's a little way to go still.**

**If you want to see pictures of the Jackson Bay crew and snoop on my inspiration for the bay itself, I have a board called 'Under The Willows' and my account is under the same name as I am here.**

**As always, huge thanks to my wonderful team of ladies who call me on my bull and point out when I'm being too liberal with my 'it's fiction' excuse. **annaharding, LizziePaige, ThatSoAlex, Anakinsmom, **and** LadyLoonie, **I love you all dearly. ****And I love each and every one of you who reads, reviews, and recommends this little tale of mine. Come friend me on Facebook - Ciara Shayee Hill - to chit chat with me and see the visuals I create to go with each chapter.**


	23. Chapter 23 - Edward

**I'm sicker than a dog and every time I cough, I feel like my lungs are working their way out of my body. Fun! *facepalm***

**Also, just a little note—****I've said this before, and I'll say it again: guest reviews are more than welcome. Criticism is more than welcome. Rudeness is absolutely not. You can take your constructive criticism and shove it where the sun doesn't shine if you can't be nice about it.**

**Anyway...happy Sunday!**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

**_Edward_**

"Sorry for sneaking out with the boys this morning," I murmur, watching the boys shovel food into their mouths as though they didn't demolish a whole stack of pancakes a few hours ago.

Bella shakes her head, offering me a quick smile. "It's fine. I panicked at first, but I found your note pretty quickly. I was about thirty seconds away from a full-blown panic attack, though."

When Arlo woke up just as I was sneaking out this morning, I admit I might have panicked a bit myself. Our unspoken agreement thus far has been that I'll be out by the time the boys either wake up or are dropped off by Charlie and Renee, so it threw me for a loop when he blearily rubbed his eyes and asked if I'd had a sleepover with Jaxson and Finley without him.

"No, bud," I breathe, scooping him up and sighing into his messy hair as he snuggles against my chest, his face resting on my shoulder. "I, uh...I forgot something last night, so I thought I'd sneak back in and get it while you were all sleeping. Did I wake you?"

"No, I'm thirsty." He holds up his empty Stormtrooper drinks bottle, pulling back to frown at me. "I ran outta juice."

"C'mon, let's get you a drink, then."

Max is already waiting at the gate separating the kitchen and dining area from the living room, his fluffy tail wagging, when we get there. When I move to set Arlo down so I can figure out the tricky catch, he whines and clings on tighter, so I grin a little and step over the gate instead to let the dog out. Once Max is busy sniffing around the yard, I head back to the kitchen to get Arlo set up with a drink.

"Apple or orange?" I ask, nodding when he mumbles the latter. Once his bottle is filled back up, I figure a coffee won't hurt and hold him against my chest as I start up the coffee machine and wait semi-patiently for my first caffeine fix of the day. In the quiet of the early morning, I sway a little and hum into Arlo's hair, deciding what I'm going to do with my day. I figure Arlo will probably fall back asleep soon, so I'll be able to put him back to bed and head home without the other boys being any the wiser.

When Jaxson and Finley wake up and thump their way down the hall twenty minutes later, Arlo now begging me to let him play in the sprinkler despite the sun barely reaching the horizon, I decide it couldn't hurt to let them burn off some steam in my pool instead. It'll give Bella the chance to sleep in a bit and the boys some time to splash around.

"I should have asked you before taking them anywhere."

Bella doesn't disagree, but she does reach under the table to squeeze my thigh. "You apologized, it's fine. I'm grateful for the chance to sleep late, to be honest, it was just scary not knowing where they'd disappeared to for those first few minutes."

Raking a hand through my hair, I nod and lean back in my chair as I reach for my beer. It's been a great day. I've found myself relaxing and enjoying the company. My mind has wandered less than usual, the ache in my chest noticeably absent for the time being. For the first time in a long time, I can take a deep breath and feel the relief of the oxygen filling my lungs. More than once, I catch Bella watching me with the boys and wonder if I'm overstepping my bounds, but the stunning smile that seems to be permanently etched in her face tells me otherwise.

"Can you cut this?"

"Sure, kiddo—"

"No, Edward!"

Raising her eyebrows at Jaxson, Bella cocks her head.

"Uh, please?" Jaxson amends, flashing her the puppy-dog eyes. I glance down at Max, waiting patiently for any scraps of food the boys might sneak his way, and wonder if he's been giving the boys lessons to perfect that face. They seem to be extra good at it today.

"If Edward doesn't mind…" Bella trails off, looking at me now, and I know she'd take over and cut Jaxson's grilled steak for him if I refused.

Grinning, I set down my beer and twist a little so I can take Jaxson's knife and fork. "How big do you want the pieces, bud?"

Again, I can feel Bella's eyes on me, but I focus on Jaxson and ruffle his hair when he mumbles his thanks, diving back into his food with enthusiasm that makes this chef a happy camper. I used Dad's recipe for the steaks tonight, and they've gone down a treat with the boys—even Finley, who doesn't usually like anything with too much flavor. I think I actually whimpered the other day when he told me his favourite food is McDonald's chicken nuggets.

I'll make a food connoisseur of the boy yet.

The sun slowly sinks in the sky as we enjoy dinner together on the back patio. It doesn't escape my notice that it's the first time this table has been used for anything other than my bottle of whiskey in years, or that this yard hasn't seen laughter and smiles in the same amount of time. I pay one of my neighbor's teen kids to clean the pool every so often, but I can't remember the last time it was used before today. Although it feels odd to have company here, it's a nice kind of odd. A refreshing change to the usual silence that blankets this house, this backyard.

As Arlo blows bubbles in his soda, Finley sneaks the tomato off his plate and under the table to Max, and Jaxson asks Bella for more of the 'scrumdiddlyumptious' potatoes, I breathe it all in.

The smells of summer hang in the hair; barbecue food, the faintest hint of chlorine, and the sunscreen Bella slathered on the boys earlier. If I listen beyond the chatter around the table, I can hear the relaxing whoosh of the waves meeting the shore, the gulls screeching as they soar overhead, and the breeze rustling the palm leaves.

If I close my eyes, it's almost exactly the kind of summer evening I pictured myself enjoying here for years to come when Willow came along. She's the only thing I'm missing as I suck in a shaky breath and blow it out again slowly, opening my eyes to Bella's mouthed, "Are you okay?"

Smiling, I sneak my hand under the table and twist our fingers together on my knee, giving them a squeeze. "I'm more than okay."

And it's all thanks to you and these boys.

~ oOo ~

The next week passes in a whirlwind of getting Bella used to everything at Burger Co. while battling the summer crowds, organizing the schedule for my two-week vacation in a month, and trying to sneak time with Bella when she isn't spending time with her family or getting the boys prepared for their first day of school.

In the stolen moments at the restaurant and the passion-fuelled, sleepless nights we spend together in her bed afterward, I find my fire.

Over noisy dinners with the boys, rowdy games of soccer on the beach, and impromptu pool parties when the sprinkler doesn't cut it, I find my smiles and my laughter.

And in the random texts Bella sends me 'just because,' the whispered phone calls when the boys take my spot in her bed at night and I'm relegated to my own house, and the mornings I wake up with her wrapped around me, I find my peace.

When I see Kendra on Friday and admit that I'm welcoming my emotions for the first time in years, she fights a smile as she tells me to enjoy my return to the land of the living and remember that living my life doesn't dishonor Willow's memory.

"She'd want you to be happy, wouldn't she?"

Dashing a tear from my cheek, I nod and manage a shaky smile. She was a bright, funny, caring little girl. Yes, she'd want me to be happy.

When Monday dawns, I send a text to Jones and promise to be there soon, I just have an errand to run before I head into Burger Co. Grabbing the bag of supplies I picked up on Thursday, I haul ass and hustle down the street as the sun starts to rise behind the houses. I have a surprise to set up.

Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo are just stepping out onto the front porch when I finish up and step back to admire my handiwork, crossing my arms with a grin as the boys fly down onto the grass.

"This is so cool! That's my name!" Arlo yells, likely waking up every person on the street with his excited screech. His grin is a mile wide as he bounces under the blue balloon arch with his name spelled out in small silver letter balloons. Thankfully, I thought ahead and dug the pump out of the garage, otherwise it would have taken hours to inflate enough balloons to make the arches. There's one for each of the boys. Arlo's is blue, because that's his favorite color. Jaxson's is red, and Finley's is yellow, so those are the colors I opted for when I picked out all the balloons.

"Did you do this, Easy?"

Grinning at my new nickname, I drop to a crouch and catch Arlo as he barrels into my arms. "I did. Do you like it?"

"I love it!"

My new nickname, Easy, is a result of miscommunication on Arlo's part. He's heard people calling me 'EC' since he arrived here in Florida and figured they were saying 'easy,' I guess. He cheerfully announced my new moniker over a BBQ at my place on Saturday. His brothers have adopted it, too, and Bella had great fun teasing me about its other meaning in bed later that night.

"Good, bud. I'm glad." Turning my attention to Jaxson and Finley, I'm relieved to find them grinning, too. "What about you two?"

"It's awesome, Easy," Jaxson tells me with a lazy grin, his twin nodding his agreement just as a faint click captures all of our attention.

Bella lowers her phone, her lips curled in a wide grin that shows off her pearly whites as she steps down off the porch. "Edward...this is so nice of you."

Shrugging, I feel my ears heating up. "It's nothin', just a little something I did…" for Willow.

"C'mon, little princess. Daddy's got a surprise for you outside."

"Ooh, for me? I loooove surprises, Daddy!"

"What a shocker. I'd never have known." Chuckling, I grab Willow's little pink backpack and usher her out the front door, knowing Kate is already out there with the camera rolling.

Willow's loud scream probably wakes up every neighbor on the street. She bounces down the steps and along the path to the pink and purple balloon arch bearing her name and a little chalkboard with '1st day of kindergarten' written on it. Kate did the writing, so it's legible.

"Daddy, it's so pretty! Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Kate snorts, shaking her head with a smile. "I helped, too! Do I get a thank you?"

"Sure, Mommy." Willow bounces into her mom's arms for a brief hug before skipping right back to me, her little arms tight around my legs and her freckle-framed smile bright as the sun when she peers up at me. "You're the best daddy in the whole wide world."

Touching my face, Finley pulls me from my memories. His little brows are puckered in a frown. "Are you sad so much 'cause you miss your little girl?"

My heart thumps hard against my ribs, the tear tumbling over my cheek forgotten. How does he…

"I saw the picture in the living room at your house," he admits, his cheeks flushing. "I wasn't snooping, I just needed the bathroom and Arlo was in the other one. Where is she?"

I feel Bella's hand on my shoulder before her quiet voice tells me she can take it from here, if I want. I nod, because I'm not sure I can speak right now. I didn't expect my emotions to bowl me over like this. Foolishly, I thought I could do this for Bella's boys and not be debilitated by the memory of my girl's first day of kindergarten. But I didn't realize Finley knew about Willow. I didn't even consider the fact that he, Jaxson, and Arlo were in my house—the house that hasn't changed a bit since the day I dropped Willow off at school for the last time and headed off to work, none the wiser about how drastically my life would change just hours later.

"Edward's daughter Willow is in heaven, Finn."

Finley's eyebrows lift a little, his eyes flashing to mine before returning to Bella. "Like Nanny Jude's Phil?"

Phil?

"Yeah, kiddo. Like Phil." To me, she quickly whispers, "Jude's husband passed away when Jax and Finn were babies."

Instead of the questions I expect from Bella's normally inquisitive son, I find myself being wrapped in his arms. He pats my back like I'm sure Bella has patted his when he's been upset, drawing a watery chuckle and a shaky smile from me. "I'm sorry Willow went to heaven, Easy. I bet you miss her."

"I do," I croak, clearing my throat and pulling him against my chest. My eyes slide shut, the now-familiar apples and pears scent of the shampoo he and his brothers use filling my lungs as I impulsively kiss his head. "Thank you, buddy. But you don't have to be sorry. She...she was hurt, and now she's in heaven, she can't hurt anymore."

He nods against my shoulder. "Nanny Jude's Phil was hurt, too. She says she's happy he's got peace now and can eat all the sugar he wants without having to stick himself."

Bella laughs quietly, telling me that Phil had Type 1 diabetes but loved his candied almonds a little too much.

"I bet Willow gets to eat all her favorite candy and stay up way past her bedtime now." Pulling back, Finley offers me a tiny smile and uses the sleeve of the sweater tied around his waist to wipe my face. I'm sure his mom has done the same for him a hundred times. The sweet gesture makes my chest seize up.

Chuckling despite the lump in my throat, I sniff and nod, realizing we have Jaxson and Arlo's attention now. Pulling them all closer, I try not to crush them against me in a hug before kissing each of their heads and releasing them so Bella can get them to school on time.

"I'm so grateful for you three, d'you know that?"

"We're grateful for you, too, Easy," Arlo says with a silly smile, a streak of mischief infusing his dark eyes before he attempts to diffuse the tension—always the class clown, this kid. "You make us the best food and cool balloons and you tell better bedtime stories than Momma—" he snaps his mouth shut as his brothers nudge him with their elbows, all three boys looking at Bella for her reaction.

She purses her lips but offers them a wink, shaking her head. "He does tell better bedtime stories, I'll give him that." Glancing at her watch, she reminds the boys that they're on a schedule and still need to take first-day-of-school pictures. To me, she adds, "I got little letter boards for them to hold, but your idea is way better."

We meet in the middle and I take photos of the boys under their arches, the letter boards Bella bought in their little hands, their new backpacks at their feet. When they've all been photographed, Bella hops in for a picture with each of them, then a group photo.

As Bella runs back inside to make sure Max is set while she takes the boys to school, I wait on the grass with the boys, peering down when Arlo shoves his hand in the pocket of my cargo shorts and pulls out my cell. "Let's get a picture of us."

So that's how I find myself kneeling on Bella's front lawn one sunny August morning, my cell clutched tight in Arlo's hands and switched onto selfie mode for the first time ever. He, Jaxson, and Finley stand in front of me and cheer 'Easy!' as he presses the button a bunch of times, my grin stretched wide and my watery eyes crinkled in the corners.

~ oOo ~

"And Miss Mickey let us paint on our hands! We made suns out of our handprints and then we got to go to recess and then we sang songs and—"

Laughing, I rub my beard and tell Arlo to slow down. "Take a breath, bud."

He flashes me a silly smile, sucking in a dramatic breath. "There, I breathed."

Bella's laugh rings in the background, so she's obviously done bathing Max. She handed me the phone when I called as she was wrestling him into the tub. "Is Max all clean now?"

Arlo giggles and looks over his shoulder, asking if he's clean. Bella tells him yes and leans over the back of the sofa so her beautiful face joins Arlo's on my screen. "I am never letting him off the leash again. He had sh—uh, poop—matted in his paw fur."

Scrunching up my face, I thank my lucky stars that I was too busy at Burger Co. to join them on their evening walk. If I had gone, I might have been inveigled into bath duty, and washing shit out of Max's fur is not something I'd volunteer for. Then again, if Bella asked me, I'd probably do it anyway. I'm a sucker for her steel eyes and the way she smiles.

"Oh! I forgot to show you…" He aims the camera south of his face, showing me his tee. Today's is black with a cartoon burger and the words 'I'm a burger dude' written around it. But of course, I knew that.

"I saw it this morning, remember?" I chuckle.

Laughing at himself, Arlo says "Oh, yeah," and gets comfy with the phone resting on his knees again. He sticks around to chat with me for a few more minutes before his yawns come more frequently than his words.

Grinning, I tell him, "Give me to your momma and get to bed so you're ready for another day of school tomorrow, buddy." By all accounts, he loved his first day. Jaxson and Finley did, too. So much so that they were already asleep when I called a little after six from my office at Burger Co. We're at capacity but I've got a full set of staff and everyone is eating right now, so I figured it would be a good time to give the boys a call and see how they did.

"All right. Night, Easy."

"Night, bud. Sweet dreams."

As Arlo hands the phone to Bella, he quickly snatches it back and offers me a sleepy, bashful smile. "I forgot...love you."

Warmth spreads through my chest, a likely goofy expression taking over my face, and I realize that I'm being one hundred percent honest when I murmur, "Love you too, bud."

Bella's eyes are visibly wet after she takes the phone from Arlo, promising to be along to tuck him in once she's said 'bye' to me. "I've cried way too many times today. No fair, Edward."

There's no hiding the fat tear rolling over my cheek, so I don't even bother. Chuckling, I wish I could be sitting on the couch beside her to catch the tears escaping her eyes. "That kid…"

"Don't blame him, Cullen. You're a big softie and you know it."

"Yeah," I sigh, shaking my head. "It's your fault. You and those boys are melting me. You're gonna ruin my reputation as a big tough guy."

Bella's snort turns my grin rueful. "You keep telling yourself that, handsome." Looking up suddenly, she stands and tells me she'll see me tomorrow at work. I'm guessing that Max or one of the boys needs her, so I keep my goodbye short and sweet and spend the rest of the night trying to figure out why I feel like there was something else I should have said other than 'goodnight.'

~ oOo ~

"Thanks, boss. See ya later. Bye, Bella!" Jones calls, waving the hand not carrying his envelope full of tips as he heads out.

"Bye, Jones," she calls, setting the last glass in its spot under the counter before flashing me a tired, but happy, smile.

If it weren't for the fact that Garrett chooses that moment to join us, I definitely would have kissed that smile off her face. This morning, before coming into work, Bella visited the hair salon down the street. The long pink-purple mane of hair I had wrapped around my fingers as I kissed her breathless last night is now a shoulder-length chestnut bob. It frames her face and the deep brown shade makes the silver of her eyes seem even more striking than usual. It's been driving me crazy all day. All I want to do is get my hands in there and see if it's as soft as it was before she had a hairdresser chop off a good ten inches or more.

"I'm fuckin' shattered."

Garrett's declaration makes both Bella and I laugh, but his grimace as he sits his ass on a stool and scrubs his face with his hands has me frowning.

"Is Ivy still not sleeping?" I guess, knowing I've hit the nail on the head when a long, loud yawn interrupts Garrett before he can say a word.

"Not for more than twenty or thirty minutes at a time."

"Ouch," Bella hisses, scrunching her face up in sympathy. "I remember that stage with Lo. Jax and Finn were both pretty good sleepers, thank God, but Arlo...shit, that boy didn't sleep through the night 'til he was almost three."

Snorting, I turn to grab my cell and wallet from the bar. "That's nothing. The first time Willow slept through the night was the day after her fifth birthday." Silence follows my statement. Looking up, I frown at the slack jaw of my best friend and the barely-there smile on Bella's face. "What?"

"Nothin', nothing'," Garrett mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck.

It's only twenty minutes later, when I pull up outside my house and switch off the engine, that I realize why Garrett seemed so shocked.

I barely ever intentionally bring up Willow in conversation. Occasionally, Kendra makes me talk about her, but that's about it. It isn't because I don't want to, it's just that I've always found it too hard. Throwing myself into their conversation earlier, talking about Willow's hatred of sleep, felt natural. As easy as breathing, like a normal parent might commiserate with another parent. For five seconds, I didn't feel like I couldn't or shouldn't talk about my daughter just because she's not here anymore. I felt like a guy whose daughter refused to fall asleep anywhere but on me or her mom. I felt like a dad.

"Are you okay?"

Bella's hand landing on my thigh startles me from my thoughts. Blinking a few times, I turn my head and manage to smile at her. It doesn't take much effort, to be fair. She's stunning even after a long as hell day and an early morning with Finley, who fell out of bed and crawled in with her shortly after four.

"You're beautiful."

The rosy tint that infuses her cheeks only makes her more irresistible. Thankfully, she's only too willing to let me manhandle her into my house and up the stairs. For the first time in years, I don't pause in the foyer to listen to the silence that greets me. I'm too busy listening to Bella's giggles and half-hearted protests as I hoist her over my shoulder because I can't get her into bed quick enough. I've been patient all day. Now is the time for patience to go out the window and to get Bella out of her pants.

Hesitating at the top of the stairs, I glance right at my bedroom door before turning left to head toward the guest bedroom. There, I peel Bella's clothes off her delectable body and take great pleasure from the sounds she makes when I drop to my knees before her, my lips blazing a trail over her skin. The last item of her clothing to go is her panties. I can't help but grin as I glance up at her, slowly tugging them down. "Ninja Turtles?"

Bella's cheeks flush crimson. "It's laundry day. I meant to run home between dropping the boys at school and coming to work, but I ran out of time."

Snorting a chuckle, I press a lingering kiss to the soft crease of her thigh, my dick taking note of the breathy sigh it elicits.

Interesting.

She's already admitted that oral was something her ex expected, but didn't like to give. She's derailed me from attempting it so far, but she doesn't seem to be tugging me away now…

Taking a chance that she's worked up enough to let me help her feel good, I gently grasp her hips and give her a light squeeze just as I duck my head slightly, my tongue finding the tight bundle of nerves between her legs. I can detect the faint scent of her body wash but her taste is all Bella.

"Oh…" she cries out, flinching when my tongue sneaks out to flick her clit. I'm not going to lie, I love getting a blowjob as much as the next guy, but there's something about going down on a sexy woman that turns me on like something else.

Bella's fingers twist themselves into my hair, her grip almost painful, but it just spurs me on. As she writhes and moans my name, I can feel my beard getting wet with her arousal, my dick straining against my briefs.

When her legs start to shake and she whispers that she's close, I pull away with regret and slip my arms under her legs, lifting her with my palms gripping her thighs. I grin at her yelp of surprise before cutting it off with a bruising kiss. I half expect her to push me away, my lips coated with the taste of her, but she groans and clings onto my shoulders, tugging me down over her once I've set her down on the bed and shoved my briefs to the floor.

"I need you," Bella breathes, her brows furrowed and the telltale flush of a fast-approaching orgasm painting her chest. I've gotten to know her tells, and that's a sure sign she's close. Pausing only long enough to coat myself in her wetness, I slide myself home and bury my face in the crook of her neck as she chokes on a breath and pants that she's coming after only a few thrusts.

With the urgency deflated a little, we spend the next hour making full use of our alone time and the king-size bed before we shower together and fall asleep shortly after midnight, Bella draped over my chest with a sated smile on her lips as she stretches up to kiss my jaw.

I sleep soundly, just like I always do when Bella is with me, until a piercing scream wakes me a few hours later.

* * *

**See you Wednesday ;)**

**If you want to see pictures of the Jackson Bay crew and snoop on my inspiration for the bay itself, I have a board called 'Under The Willows' and my account is under the same name as I am here.**

**As always, huge thanks to my wonderful team of ladies who call me on my bull and point out when I'm being too liberal with my 'it's fiction' excuse. **annaharding, LizziePaige, ThatSoAlex, Anakinsmom, **and** LadyLoonie, **I love you all dearly. ****And I love each and every one of you who reads, reviews, and recommends this little tale of mine. Come friend me on Facebook - Ciara Shayee Hill - to chit chat with me and see the visuals I create to go with each chapter.**


	24. Chapter 24 - Bella

**I'm trialling a new update system as of today. Nothing will change here, but if you like to see teasers, chapter images, and be notified of updates on Facebook, I'll only be posting those on my own page and in my reader group, CiaraShayee's Subconscious from now on. It's frustrating for me because there are a lot of great groups out there and it's helpful for finding new readers and new readers finding me, but I'm done dealing with the stupidity of a certain few trolls and I'm relatively sure I know where they're coming from, so this is what I need to do. I hope you understand.**

**Also, I'd apologize for the cliffhanger at the end of the last chapter, but I'd feel a bit hypocritical seeing as I know there are a few more coming your way before the end of the story...*peeking between fingers***

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

_**Bella**_

With a soft, regretful sigh, I place a gentle kiss on Edward's cheek and try not to laugh at his snuffly snore as I quietly back out of the room, grabbing my shirt on the way out. _So cute. _Our clothes always end up in the most random of places; I'm sure I saw Edward's tee draped over the wastebasket in the corner.

It doesn't escape my notice that I'm walking through a live-in museum as I quickly use the bathroom before moving down the stairs. The same pictures hang on the walls now as the ones that were here when I set off for England. My eyes trail over the smiling faces lit only by the flashlight on my cell.

Most of them are of Willow.

I smile wistfully at her cake smash photos, remembering being here to watch her smother herself in the yellow frosting. They did a flamingo theme and there's also a picture of Willow holding two plastic flamingos, one in each pudgy hand, while her mouth is bulging with cake. She grows up before my eyes as I take each step down. There's her first steps; her sitting on Edward's shoulders with a gummy smile at what looks like the Fourth of July parade if their red, white, and blue clothes are anything to go by; her wild blonde curls flying as she floats in a baby pool floatie...I can see a pair of large hands just in the edge of the frame. I know those hands intimately.

Willow beams in a ballerina dress in another snapshot, this time with a little girl that looks exactly like Tanya. Looking closer, I realize it must be Jessica. Garrett and Tanya were handing out invitations to her thirteenth birthday party last week. She and Willow were just a few months apart in age. Willow would be turning thirteen next February.

My smile widens when I get to her first day of kindergarten. She's out on the front lawn, her balloon arch over her head and a bright, freckled smile on her face.

Then the photos stop.

An empty frame waits for a photo that will never come. My heart aches and my stomach twists as I read the letters etched into the frame. _Kindergarten Graduation Class of 2012._

She should have graduated from the very school Arlo now attends, but she never got the chance.

My cell vibrating in my hand serves as a reminder that I'm running late. If I don't get a move on, Mom will be outside my house with the boys and Max wondering where I am. Exhaling a shaky sigh and blinking back tears, I hurry through to the kitchen where Edward says he left Arlo's Stormtrooper cup. I keep meaning to ask him to bring it over but with the chaos of school starting, a new job, and this whirlwind with Edward, my memory is mush.

Thankfully, I don't have to hunt for the cup. It's sitting right on the counter. Smiling, because I know Arlo will be pleased to have it back, I snatch it off the side and spin around to head home.

A tall silhouette cutting off my escape route stops me in my tracks. The unfamiliar voice that accompanies it pulls a scream from my chest as fear rockets through my veins.

"Who are you and why are you in my brother's house?"

A thump overhead precedes thundering footsteps on the stairs. I remember that there's a light switch by the back door, flipping it on just as Edward skids into the intruder's back.

It takes a second for my eyes to adjust, but the white spots disappear just as Edward's terrified expression morphs into one of relief, his mouth stretching into a rueful, crooked grin as he finishes tying his drawstring sweatpants and tosses an arm around the intruder's shoulders.

"For fuck's sake, Sully. What are you doing here, sneaking around in the middle of the night?"

_Sully?_

Frowning, I narrow my eyes and scrutinise the face of _Sully_, finally relaxing when I realize...I recognize him. He's grown up a lot since I saw him last, but that mop of dirty blond hair and those ice blue eyes are familiar. His words replay in my mind, suddenly making sense.

_My brother's house._

"Sullivan Cullen, so help me God…" Tossing the first thing I can reach at him, which luckily happens to be a dish towel, I blow out a breath and palm my still-racing heart. "You scared the life out of me!"

Chuckling like the little shit I remember, even though he's now easily six feet tall and almost as wide in the shoulder as Edward, Sullivan snatches the towel from the air before crossing the room to pull me into a hug, lifting my feet off the floor and spinning me around.

"Bella Swan got hot, huh?"

Red-faced and dizzy, I shove him away from me and eye Edward, who looks more amused than anything else. I wonder if he knew Sullivan was coming. "I was always hot, you little shit. And I see that _you're _still a hooligan."

Sullivan offers me the patented, lopsided Cullen grin. "Of course!"

"What are you doing here, Sully?" Edward asks, heading for the coffee maker because it's pretty obvious there'll be no more sleeping.

Hopping up to sit on the counter, Sullivan rakes a hand through his hair with a grimace. "Mom's dating Jason again."

I have no idea who he's talking about, but Edward evidently does. He winces and hangs his head for a second before shooting Sullivan a commiserating look. "You're welcome to stay here as long as you need. I'll get a bedroom set up for you."

Sullivan waves his offer away. "Don't worry, I'll take the pull-out down here in your study. It's closer to the kitchen so I can sneak snacks while you're sleeping."

Edward chuckles, shaking his head, as my cell vibrates again; it's my final alarm before I'm risking Mom and the boys beating me home. "Edward, I need to…"

His eyes flash to me. "Right. I'll walk you out. Don't go anywhere," he warns Sullivan, shaking his head when he simply salutes.

"See ya, Bella. Sorry for making you wet your pants!"

"Bye, Sully," I laugh, letting Edward lead me out into the foyer with a hand at the small of my back. At the door, I breathe out a sigh and glance down the hall before stretching up to plant a quick kiss on his lips. "I'll see you later, if you're not too busy."

Sliding his hand into the hair at the base of my head, Edward ducks down to kiss me breathless, thoroughly scrambling my brain. When he pulls back and tells me he's never too busy for me, and he'll see me at work anyway, I realize my faux pas. "Of course, I forgot. I'll see you in a few hours."

"You will," he murmurs, giving me one last smile before I let myself out and jog down the street, stepping into the living room in the pajamas I quickly pulled on just as Mom and the boys call out their greetings. _Phew._ _That was close._

**~ oOo ~**

Worryingly, Edward doesn't appear for work a few hours later.

Instead, he sends me a text promising to call later to let me know what's going on. Garrett also receives a text from him. He simply tells us all that 'the boss' is busy, so we've all got to pull our weight.

It wasn't until I was dropping the boys at school that I realized it wasn't just me being late home that posed a risk to our secret.

Sullivan knows now. He caught me doing the walk of shame at six a.m. There's no reason for me to be in Edward's house, let alone sneaking out at that time of morning. I can only hope Edward will talk to him and make him promise not to blab. The sneaking around part of this relationship is tedious at times, but it's working for us right now while we're still feeling our way. I don't want anything to jeopardize that, and I have a looming sense of dread whenever I think about what my parents might say when they find out about us.

I'm enjoying the exciting, carefree part of our developing relationship.

Confusion and nerves become my companion throughout the day as I work my shift, pick up Max from Mom and Dad, then grab the boys from school to take them for ice cream. It's insanely hot out so I very quickly end up with three cranky, messy boys and one too-hot dog.

"Why can't we go play in Easy's pool?" Jaxson whines as I wipe his sticky hands.

"He's...busy."

"But he said we can go over whenever! And he gave you a key, remember?" Finley joins in with his brother.

"Max wants to go, too, see?" Arlo adds, using a leftover piece of cone to get Max to nod.

"I said he's busy, okay? We're not going to just go over there when Edward is busy," I finally snap, hot, tired, and selfishly nervous that Sullivan's arrival will take away my already limited time with Edward. As it is, we only have a few more weeks before he takes off for his vacation. I also need to let Mom know that he's here so she can include him in the numbers for Edward's surprise birthday party tomorrow, but I'm not sure how to bring it up without having to think of an excuse for how I know that he's here.

I've almost ruined the surprise party _so many times_ by accidentally mentioning it. I can't wait for him to walk into Mom and Dad's backyard tomorrow and see what we've organized for him.

All three boys look at me with wide eyes after my uncharacteristic outburst. _Shit_.

Blowing out a breath, I toss the dirty tissues into the trash can and crouch in front of the boys. "I'm sorry for snapping, but you guys know we can't just show up at people's houses without being invited."

"But it's not just 'people,' Mom," Jaxson protests. "It's _Easy_. He said we could go over whenever we want and swim in the pool."

"I know he did," I sigh, wishing Edward had kept _that _little offer between us. I really don't want to take the boys over and interrupt whatever might be going on with him and Sullivan, but this is his fault. He stupidly told the boys they're welcome whenever and made a point of showing them when he gave me a spare key to the back door incase the boys need the bathroom or anything while we're there. "I'll text him and ask if it's okay, but if he says 'no,' you'll settle for the sprinkler, right?"

I'd call Mom and Dad to see if we could use their pool, but I already feel like they do too much for us. I don't want to fill up their house with crazy boys and a hairy beast of a puppy every single day, it wouldn't be fair.

"Right," they all nod in tandem, their bright smiles returning because they're confident that Edward will agree to have them over.

Of course, because he never says 'no' to them, Edward answers my text before we even make it home.

_**I gave you a key, didn't I? Bring Max, too. I'll fire up the grill.**_

When we walk down the street later on, loaded down with floaties and sunscreen and a big bowl of salad because Mom taught me never to go to dinner empty-handed, I'm surprised to see a familiar car pulling up right outside Edward's house. My pulse picks up as the boys scream for their nana and papa and take off running toward them. Max tugs at his leash, so I give in and let him go once I'm sure we're close enough that he won't get distracted and run out into the street. For a young dog, he sure does like to rip my arm out of its socket. We're definitely going to have to work on that when he starts puppy school in two weeks.

"Hey, little loves," Mom laughs, catching Arlo. "Where are you off to all dressed for the beach?"

"We're goin' to swim in Easy's pool!" he tells her just as Edward himself strolls out onto the porch. I have to stop myself from checking for drool, mindful of the fact that my parents are _right there_, but _damn_.

He's sporting my favorite of his board shorts—the pale mint ones with white trim. They make his grass-green eyes pop and contrast deliciously with his sun-kissed tan, not to mention provide the perfect amount of thigh porn without making him look silly. When my eyes trail up, over the dips and ridges of his bare, defined torso to his neatly trimmed beard and the smile it almost hides, I consider saying 'to hell with it' and throwing myself at him then and there. He's way too gorgeous for his own good and I'm pretty sure he has no idea.

"Oh, that's nice of, um, _Easy_?" Mom laughs, looking between Arlo, Edward, and me.

"It's my new nickname, right, bud?" Edward scoops Arlo into his arms, duck pool ring around his waist and all, and flings him in the air. The tiniest part of me is worried, but most of me trusts Edward with every hair on my boy's head, which is a somewhat startling realization.

"That's right!" Arlo cackles, gripping Edward's shoulders for dear life until he's back on his own two feet. Offering his grandparents a wide grin, he asks if they're coming in, too.

"No, no, we can't stop." Looking at Edward, Mom adds, "We just came to remind you about our change of plans for tomorrow. We're doing dinner instead of brunch."

Nodding slowly, Edward ruffles Jaxson's hair as he sidles over to lean against him. The sight of their easy affection puts a lump in my throat. "Do we have room for one more? Sully showed up this morning. He's going to be staying with me for a bit."

Mom manages to curb her surprise, but Dad doesn't. His eyebrows climb his forehead. "He's back? It's been a long time."

Before Edward can say a word, Sullivan's loud voice carries over the grass. He flashes me a wink as he strolls past me to grab Mom in a hug. "That's right, the best Cullen is back in the bay."

Edward rolls his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, little brother."

Seeing Edward with his brother is still so surreal—it always has been. Despite only sharing one parent, they're so alike in both appearance and personality. Sullivan is how Edward was before grief stole his easy joy and more frequent smiles.

I don't know the whole story of how Sullivan came to be—I was only eleven when he came to the bay to visit his oldest half-brother the first time, then a gummy one-year-old. All I know is that during a separation with Edward's mom, Esme, Carlisle had a brief fling with another woman which resulted in a son. Making a mental note to see what Edward will tell me about it later, I focus back on the conversation in front of me as Sullivan crouches to introduce himself to my sons.

"You're Easy's little brother?" Arlo questions, looking between Sullivan and Edward with furrowed brows.

"Uh huh. I'm the newer, better model."

Arlo shakes his head resolutely, offering Edward a grin. "Nope. Easy is the best."

"Good answer, bud. Remind me to get you a popsicle when we get back there."

"Sweet!" My son hisses, his fist-pump making all the adults laugh.

"And you two must be Jax and Finn, right? Edward told me all about you." Twisting his cap around to reveal the snapping gator on the front, he makes their day by admitting that he's a Jacksonville Gators fan, too. "I went to watch them play a couple of weeks back and got a signed ball."

"No way!" Finley breathes. "Did you bring it with you?"

"Okay," Dad laughs, looping an arm around Mom's shoulders. "I can see we're old news for the time being." To Edward, he says, "We'll aim for six o'clock dinner, but come over whenever you're ready."

"Sure thing, Charlie. See you tomorrow."

As they're leaving, Mom reminds me to come over early with the boys so she can see about trying their suits on for Benjamin and Angela's upcoming wedding. I agree, then follow Edward, Sullivan, the boys, and Max out into the backyard. Admitting that he _does_ have the ball with him, Sullivan leads the boys into the house with Max hot on their heels, which leaves me with Edward.

Wrapping an arm around my waist, he takes the opportunity to plant a toe-curling kiss on me. "Hey, short stuff."

I sigh. "Hey, handsome. I missed you at work today."

With a grimace, he guides me over to a lounger, gently tugging me down to sit beside him. "I had some calls to make."

"Sullivan's mom?" I guess.

Nodding, he rakes a hand through his hair. I'm momentarily distracted by the way this makes his muscles flex and shift, my gaze returning to his face when he blows out a breath through his nose, sounding frustrated and looking it, too. "And our dad. Carmen, Sully's mom, she didn't even know he'd taken off. He just got himself a bus ticket and hightailed it outta there." Grumbling the last part, he admits, "I don't blame him. That boyfriend of hers...he's a waste of space, by all accounts. He likes to knock Sully around and she kicks him out for all of a few weeks before having him back."

I'll never understand how a parent can do that to a child, let alone their own. I'd fight tooth and nail for my sons, just like I know Edward would have given anything to save Willow.

"So he comes to stay with you when this guy is around?"

"Sometimes. Last time, he went to see Dad, but as you can imagine…"

"It's awkward as hell?"

Edward purses his lips. "Understatement of the century."

I can only imagine. Carlisle is his dad, but Esme...she's his stepmom, but I can't imagine it's easy for her having to look at Sullivan. Still, he's a baby. He's barely eighteen, if memory serves me correctly. He deserves stability and a loving home, not to live with someone who likes to 'knock him around,' as Edward put it.

"What did they say when you told them he's here with you?"

"Carmen...well, she doesn't particularly give a shit, to be honest. Dad's just happy he's safe. He'll probably come out to see him if he sticks around, but he's asked me to persuade Sully to come with me to Utah next month."

My stomach turns at the thought of being without Edward for two whole weeks. He's admitted that he usually takes a month off after the summer rush, but not this year. I can't help but wonder if me and the boys are the reason his trip will be shorter than usual.

"Do you think he'll go?"

Edward just shrugs, tugging me into his side before pressing a kiss against the side of my head. We both hear the boys' thundering footsteps then, so we create a little distance between us as they run out onto the patio. "I hope so," he murmurs.

**~ oOo ~**

By the time I order the boys to pull on their sweaters and flip flops so we can walk home, they're in love with Sullivan.

He's the same funny, cheeky boy I remember from his summer visits when he was a child. Every summer, like clockwork, he'd spend two weeks with Carlisle and Esme. One of those would usually be in Utah, so he could also see Jasper and his family, while the other often involved a trip out to Jackson Bay to see Edward.

The moppy-haired ten-year-old I saw the summer before I left for England has grown into a moppy-haired eighteen-year-old with a mischievous, devil-may-care attitude to life. He's a breath of fresh air—it's no wonder the boys adore him. They've spent the entire evening playing soccer and teaching him how to Noodle Race. Sullivan even got my vegetable-phobe Finley to eat a corn on the cob by 'double dog daring' him. It's not green, but it's still a vegetable. It's definitely a trick I'm going to keep in my repertoire for the future.

"Are you stayin' for a while?" Finley asks Sullivan as I zip up his jacket and point him toward his flip flops on the seat over by the grill.

Grinning, Sullivan twists his cap backward and waves Finley over for a hug. "I sure am, Finn. Who else is gonna teach you to play soccer properly? _He's_ no good at it," he says with a wink, nodding at Edward.

Shaking his head, Edward drains the last of his beer before rising from the table. "Whatever you say, little brother. Remember whose house you're staying in."

"Ooh, I'm quaking in my flip flops."

The boys find this _hilarious_, breaking down into fits of giggles which only worsen when Sullivan attempts to pull Edward into a headlock and winds up being tossed into the pool by his bigger, stronger brother.

Blowing him a kiss while nobody is looking, I wish we could be together in the open. Although Sullivan knows something is going on, and has made a few thinly-veiled comments throughout the evening, the boys don't. I don't even dare to hug Edward in front of them for fear of their little minds working overtime and their mouths blabbing to Mom and Dad.

At some point, probably soon, Edward and I will need to decide where this is going, because I can't live like this forever and I don't want us to be a secret. I want to shout about him from the rooftops and tell people how crazy about him I am. I want to be able to hold his hand in public, kiss him without worrying if there's anybody around, and stop sneaking between our houses in the mornings so my parents don't see him leaving or me returning.

Last night was the first time we stayed at his house, and it didn't escape my notice that he took me to the guest room instead of his bedroom. I can guess at his reasoning, but it still concerns me. We've talked about Willow, but we haven't talked about Kate and how he feels about her now. It's been six years since their divorce, but he wouldn't take me to his room and I assume it's because it's the room he once shared with her.

It's just another pressing topic in a long list of many that we need to cover.

"All right," I finally sigh once all the boys are ready. "Come here, Max."

Tired from chasing the boys and the soccer ball all evening, he heaves himself off the floor to amble over, giving me a sloppy kiss while I attach his leash to his harness—which he's quickly outgrowing. I already need to make another trip to the pet store to get a bigger one.

Wrapping my arms around Sullivan once he's climbed from the pool, grumbling and towelling himself off, I tell him he can babysit any time. He grins and sways us side to side before planting a noisy kiss on my cheek, much to the amusement of my sons. "You just let me know when and I'll be there. Oh! Can I show the boys one quick thing before you go?"

Frowning, I shrug. "Sure."

As he takes off into the house, the boys following behind him, he shoots a wink over his shoulder and mouths "Go get him" before nodding pointedly at Edward, who grins and scoots his chair back, patting his lap. I don't need to be told twice, quickly straddling his firm thighs and using my fingers in his hair to kiss him silly.

While I was worrying Sullivan would out us, I didn't consider the benefits of having him around as a distraction for the boys.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he murmurs, his voice gravelly, when I pull away to catch my breath.

"Tomorrow," I promise, hoping his smile will be as wide when we surprise him as it is right now.

**~ oOo ~**

"The label is all itchy," Finley whines, tugging the side of his waistcoat.

"Come here, sweetheart."

While Mom sets about cutting out the label, I turn to Jaxson and Arlo, beaming at my handsome little boys all dressed up. Opting for a November wedding means that Benjamin and Angela won't have to be as worried about us all melting to death in our finery. As page boys, Jaxson, Finley, Arlo, and Danny will be wearing miniature versions of the tuxes being worn by the groomsmen. I haven't seen those yet, but the boys look freaking adorable in theirs.

"You look so handsome," I tell them once Finley has pulled on his jacket and adjusted his bowtie to pose for a picture for Mom.

Blushing beet-red, Finley shuffles his feet. Arlo grins, wiggling his bowtie with both hands. "I do, don't I?"

Benjamin walks inside carrying two platters of food. Setting them down on the counter, he tells Mom there isn't room outside yet, then he turns his attention to the boys. "Well, well. Don't you three scrub up well?"

"Yep!" Jaxson agrees, just as comfortable with compliments as his little brother. "We're gonna look more handsome than you, Uncle Benji."

Scooping Jaxson into his arms for a tickle-attack, Benjamin is quickly ordered to put him back down before he wrinkles the hell out of the tux. "Oops." He doesn't look the least bit repentant, but he does as Mom tells him and carefully sets Jaxson back on the floor just in time to hear the doorbell ring.

Mom jumps up, clapping her hands. "That'll be our first guests. Bella, honey, are you okay getting the boys back out of those?"

"Sure, sure." I wave her off, guiding the boys back down the hall toward her bedroom. There, they strip off their suits and pull their party clothes back on. By the time I've combed their hair into some semblance of neatness, there are a few familiar faces milling around the backyard.

"Little Grandma!" The boys take off as soon as they spot Little Grandma and Grandpa Freddie. Smiling, I watch them go, then suck in a deep breath and meander around, saying 'hi' to everybody and compulsively checking my watch because as the day has gone on, I've gotten more and more nervous. Edward _hates _surprises. He's not a fan of crowds, doesn't particularly like socializing the way he used to, and he abhors being the center of attention—all of which he's going to be bombarded with the second he walks through the front door in..._approximately ten minutes_.

Swiping a red plastic flute of prosecco from the table as I slip away from TJ and Oliver to check my hair and make-up, I pray he'll at least be thankful that I talked Mom out of throwing a birthday beach party and inviting the whole town. I managed to curb her guest list ideas somewhat, but there's still a lot of people set to show up throughout the evening. When I step into the kitchen, I spot Mum struggling with the heavy cake box as she tries to get it into the pantry where she can unbox it safely. Following her into the walk-in, I grin at her short arms attempting to battle with the large box.

"Do you need some help, Mom?"

She offers me a distracted smile, carefully sliding the cake from its box so she can get the two tiers assembled correctly. "Please, that would be lovely."

Setting down my drink, I put my hands where she directs them, passing her the candles once she's got the top tier settled. "Umm…"

We both look at each other and laugh, because there's no good place to put the candles. It's a beautiful cake, two tiers with stunning teal frosting. The bottom tier starts off darker at the bottom, each wave getting lighter before tapering off when it reaches the incredibly realistic looking sand that separates the two tiers. There are some chocolate seashells and a fake wood plaque made out of icing that reads 'Happy Birthday, EC!' on the front.

My favorite part is the white adirondack chair right on the top, a blue icing towel thrown over the arm and a few more shells scattered around it for good measure.

"It's the perfect cake for Edward." Mom hums, but her thoughts still seem to be elsewhere. "Momma? Are you okay?"

"Oh, I'm fine, I'm fine." Smiling brightly at me, she loops her arm around my waist and sighs. "Have you noticed anything going on with EC? Anything out of the ordinary?"

My ears perk up, my heart-rate speeding up. _Uh oh_. "With Edward? No, nothing." Clearing my throat because _that _came out way too high and squeaky to be natural, I force a confused smile. "Why do you ask?"

"He just seems different. I've been noticing it for a few weeks. It's not in a bad way at all, don't get me wrong!" If it weren't for the fact that I'm absolutely terrified of her reaction—and Dad's—I'd just tell her what is really going on with Edward. I'd tell her that we've been seeing each other for a few weeks now and I think it's getting serious.

Mom and I have always been close, we've always been open and honest with each other. When Richard and I started dating, after Jude because she was there when he picked me up for our first date, Mom was next to know. And when I took the pregnancy test to find out we were having Jaxson and Finley, it was Mom who cried happy tears with me over the phone.

It feels wrong to be keeping something like this from her, but for now at least, it's necessary.

With a twinkle in her eyes that scares me, she admits, "I think he might be seeing someone. Do you think that's feasible? Do you think it's someone at the restaurant?"

My choked breath is, thankfully, drowned out by Dad's voice yelling, "Renee, he's pulling up outside!"

"Oh! Quick, we need to get everyone gathered."

There aren't words to describe how relieved I am when Mom rushes from the pantry, tugging me with her and closing the door behind us. "I'll get the door," I offer, butterflies taking flight in my belly.

"Okay, I'll get everyone together outside." She's so excited, I don't think Mom has truly thought through the repercussions of throwing such a big party for a man who is more comfortable in small groups. Mentally crossing my fingers, I wait until she's ushered everybody outside before steeling myself as I head to the front door in time to open it just as Edward raises his hand to knock.

The wide, crooked grin that takes over his face takes my breath away. The girly sigh that escapes my lips would be embarrassing if we weren't alone—which I quickly realize we aren't when Sullivan sticks his fingers in his mouth and pretends to gag on them, appearing from behind his brother.

_Shit. I forgot he'd be here._

"Hey, hot stuff," he chuckles, lifting me off my feet in an exuberant hug before sniffing the air and commenting on the delicious aromas wafting through the house "Somethin' smells _amazing._"

"Hey, Sully. Come on through. Dad's cooking his baby back ribs," shooting Edward a silly smile, I add, "Edward's favorite."

"Spoilt brat," Sullivan tsks, then cocks his head. "If I stick around long enough, will Charlie make ribs for _my _birthday?"

I'm still looking at Edward, soaking him in, so I see the hope that briefly crosses his face at the thought of his brother sticking around that long.

"Ask him," I shrug, waving them both in. "He can only say 'yes' or 'no.'"

"He'll say 'yes,'" Sullivan says confidently, leading us through the house after checking he's heading in the right direction. It's been years since he was here last, and the decor has changed probably ten times since his last visit. I'm not surprised he's unsure.

"Have you had a good day?" I ask Edward quietly.

Shooting me a small grin, he nods. I know, thanks to the conversation we had on the phone this morning, that he and Sullivan were planning to haul the surf boards out of the garage and hit the beach to try to catch a few waves. From the sun-kissed glow on his cheeks and the light in his eyes, I think it must have gone well.

"It's been great. I'd forgotten how much I like hanging out with him," he says, nodding at Sullivan's back. I feel the sudden need to warn him, so I stop just before we hit the last corner which will make us visible to everyone else, and vice versa. He frowns a little, peering down at me with the heat in his eyes that tells me he wants to be a lot closer and wearing way fewer clothes. "Are you okay?"

"Edward…" I breathe, wringing my hands. God, why am I so nervous? I answer my own question in a millisecond—I want him to like this. I want him to like what we've set up for him. I just...want him to be happy.

Before I can open my mouth and spoil it, I hear Mom's muffled "Arlo, wait!" just seconds before my youngest skids around the corner on socked feet, wide grin in place and white frosting smeared over his cheek.

_Someone got into the food early._

"Hey, Easy. You need to hurry."

Edward cocks his head, shooting me a questioning glance before taking Arlo's hand as he tugs him through the kitchen. "I do? Why?"

"You're gonna miss your surprise party, silly!"

_Well, here goes nothing._

* * *

**Next update: Sunday**

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**As always, huge "thank you's" need to go to the wonderful ladies who help me out with this story, particularly my good friend **annaharding **because she's always so darn helpful and great at talking me off the ledge. Can't wait to see you again later this year!**

**And big hugs to all of you wonderful people taking the time to read and review. When there's other bullshit going on, it's your reviews and sweet words that get me through the writer's block and the 'can I do this?' wobbles.**


	25. Chapter 25 - Edward

**So my brain gave up temporarily and I just posted the wrong chapter *facepalm* Thank you to the lovely ladies who messaged to let me know!**

**Here is the actual chapter. There are a couple of revelations in this one, so I'll let you get on with it, but just a friendly reminder that if you're looking for my chapter images, teasers, or anything like that, they're all exclusive to my FB reader group now. Come just me in CiaraShayee's Subconscious for all the fun stuff. Everyone is welcome!**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Five**

_**Edward**_

"Surprise!"

Blinking in, well, surprise, I try to gather my wits while being pummelled with birthday wishes and passed from one set of arms to another, and another, and another.

Little Grandma, Freddie, a couple of Charlie's six sisters and their husbands. I recognize some of their many combined grown-up kids. The Samuels' are here, as are the Pauls. I grin as I'm pulled into a familiar set of arms, Mr. Eddison's wrinkled grin flashing. "Happy birthday, son."

"You're sneaky," I accuse, pointing at him. He told me he was out of town when I invited him to what I thought was going to be a low-key birthday dinner.

"Hey, I just did what I was told by Mrs. Swan, boy," he tells me with a soft laugh, and then I'm moving into a new set of arms. Everly, Rosalie, Angela, Benjamin...and so it goes on.

Arlo sticks close by me, his little hand in mine until I decide he makes a great human shield and scoop him up. Renee is one of the last to get at me. Her smile is a mile wide as she slips her arm around mine and guides me over to a table set up with a selection of both kid- and adult-friendly drinks.

"Are you surprised?"

"Very," I mumble, managing a faint smile. "Rae…"

"I know, I know. We shouldn't have done this, we didn't have to, blah blah blah." Arlo giggles as she tweaks his nose and grabs a beer from the ice box under the table. "You're a part of this family, we love you, and it's your birthday. You don't get to complain that we want to celebrate you."

Well…

A little choked up, I pull her into a hard one-armed hug. "Thank you. I don't mean to sound ungrateful."

With her blue eyes crinkled and her lips curled up in a fond smile, she pats my cheek before giving Arlo the same treatment. "You're very welcome, EC."

Wandering off to answer the call of one of the children, Renee leaves me alone with Arlo for all of a few seconds before I feel a hand at the small of my back, Bella appearing at my side with her full lower lip between her teeth and a tiny frown tugging her brows together.

I suddenly realize this is why she looked so nervous when I arrived. Relief rushes through my veins.

I'd wondered if she was going to break it off with me, just barely deciding she wouldn't do that to me on my birthday when Arlo appeared.

"Is this...okay?" she whispers, looking around at the people mingling in the sunshine, the vast array of delicious-smelling food, and the beach themed decorations littering the yard.

"It's perfect. It's too much," I amend with a raised eyebrow, but my smile widens. "But it's great." Draping an arm around Bella's shoulders, I wish I could do more. I wish I could lean down and kiss the relieved smile off her face. I wish I could hold her to me the way Benjamin is holding Angela across the patio. I wish I could tell everyone that she's mine, that she's the reason I'm in a good enough place to handle this today.

Before her, before the boys, I wouldn't have been able to cope with something like this, but they've brought me back to life.

"How old are you today, Easy?" Arlo asks.

Grinning, a wicked glint of mischief in her eyes, Bella pipes up before I can. "Easy is _old_, Arlo. He's almost forty."

"_Almost_ bein' the key word there," I tell her gruffly before taking a mouthful of my beer, shaking my head as Arlo giggles.

"That's old, Easy! Momma is only twenty-one, right, Momma?"

Snorting beer out of my nose, I attract more than one person's attention. Bella laughs until she's red in the face but kindly grabs me a napkin from the nearest table. Forcing a frown even though a grin is attempting to pull my lips up, I adjust a cackling Arlo on my hip. "Is that what she's told you? Your momma is telling you lies, bud."

Arlo's eyes widen with glee. "Ooh, Momma. You're not s'posed to tell lies."

"I'm not lying, Lo," she tells him airily.

"You're not twenty-one, you little liar," I chuckle, pulling her to me. The impulse to press a kiss against her head is strong; I just barely resist, but it's not easy. "Your momma is twenty-seven, Arlo. Not twenty-one. In a few years, she'll be thirty."

Bella holds her hands up, crossing her fingers. "Don't cuss at me," she grumbles good-naturedly as her boy cracks up and tells her she's old, too, and in that moment, everything is right in the world.

Afternoon shifts into evening with the fading sunlight and the glow of the fairy lights strung over the patio.

One beer turns into two, three, and four, then I switch to soda. I see the way Garrett's eyes narrow for a beat when I amble over to him where he sits with Tanya, Ivy, and Lily. He's wondering why I'm not drinking, or wondering what I've put in the Coke I'm carrying.

It's with pride that I admit I'm done drinking for the night, and a rising sense of satisfaction slides through my body at the look of pleasure on my friend's face.

"Good for you, man," he says quietly, taking Ivy from Tanya's arms to pass her to me.

I've seen her a few times since her birth almost two months ago. She's grown a lot, her eyes more inquisitive, more alert. When I tickle her chin, she makes a snuffly sound that will eventually become a giggle, and when I lift her high above my head, she offers me a gummy grin that I expect to bring pain.

The pain doesn't come. I lower her to my chest, running my hand over her soft white-blonde hair, and realize it doesn't hurt so much anymore. I'm not sure how to feel about that, but Kendra's words run on a loop through my mind.

_Living your life doesn't dishonor Willow's memory._

"Oh, look at you, little girl," Bella breathes over my shoulder, goosebumps rising in the wake of her breath against my skin. Resting a hand on my shoulder, she coos over Ivy and lights me on fire. Memories of me in this position, Willow in my arms and Kate at my back, are replaced with fantasies of Bella and I with a copper-haired, gray-eyed baby, and it's too much. Mumbling an apology, I hand Ivy to her mom and head inside to clear my mind.

In the living area, I find an empty couch and sit my ass down, my head in my hands and a long breath rushing from my lungs.

"Hey."

Glancing up, I watch Bella walk toward me. She sets her glass down on the end table with a quiet clink of glass meeting glass. Her hips sway with her steps, the gypsy skirt she's wearing clinging to her curves and the loose-necked t-shirt exposing her collarbones on one side. Her hair is twisted to one side in an intricate braid that has come loose over the course of the day. I reach out to tuck the wispy bits behind her ear with a long sigh that makes her smile shakily.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm perfect now. I just need a minute."

"I'll leave—"

"Stay. Please?"

Eyeing me for a moment, Bella nods. Her weight barely shifts the couch cushions, but her quiet understanding as she sits with me while I work through my thoughts and emotions means more than all the surprise parties she could ever throw me.

**~ oOo ~**

The last month of summer blows by in a whirlwind of shaping my days around work and Bella and the boys. It's been a long time since I've had to worry about anybody but myself, but I quickly find myself missing them all when I don't get to see them for a day or two in a row. I even miss Max, the fluffy beast who has developed a penchant for chewing up my shoes.

We eat together on the patio at their house or mine any night Bella and I have coordinating shifts, but the busyness of summer in a beach town means that I find myself sneaking off to my office most evenings to video call the boys before they go to bed. They like to give me the rundown on their day at school. Arlo loves his teacher, Jaxson and Finley love that they're in the same class, and Bella is just grateful they've all settled in and made friends so quickly.

When I'm not working the weekend, we take the boys to the beach or Lake Eola. The first weekend of September, Sullivan, Garrett, Tanya, and the girls join us. None of them question the potentially odd grouping, but Bella and I keep it strictly PG. It's torture not being able to hold her hand like Garrett holds Tanya's and I almost throw caution to the wind a hundred times that one day to taste the lemon ice cream on her lips or shut her up when she and Tanya tease me for my choice of vanilla.

Sleepovers at my house become a thing the boys request because they like being able to make use of the pool first thing in the morning, and Sullivan is on-hand to play soccer with them whenever they want. He's made no mention of wanting to head back to his mom, so I'm content to let him stay here as long as he wants.

Fall brings slightly cooler weather, but only slightly. It's still hot enough that I can easily get a rise out of Bella just by walking around without my shirt. For this newly-thirty-nine-year-old, it's a huge confidence boost to see the effect I have on her.

The first night they all stay over, I leave Sullivan entertaining the boys and Max and take Bella's hand to lead her up the stairs. My heart begins to race as we stop at the top of the stairs, her feet taking her left, mine taking us right.

"This way," I urge her gently, licking my dry lips.

Confused but not unwilling, she follows me down the hall and waits patiently as I slowly slide the door open. Her quiet sigh when the room comes into view makes me nervous. My palms are clammy, but her fingers squeeze tighter around mine so I can only wipe one on my shorts.

"Edward…"

The pale purple walls are no more. The carpet Kate insisted on is also gone, the hardwood underneath varnished and gleaming in the evening sunlight streaming through the window. Sullivan and I spent our spare time this week painting the room a soft mint green and tossing out all the furniture and bedding that matched the old color scheme.

Stepping further into the room, Bella pulls me with her. I watch with bated breath as her fingertips trail over the top of the new dresser before finding the footboard of my new bed.

"When I took you to the guest room before, it wasn't because I didn't want you in here." My voice seems overly loud in the otherwise silent room. Bella tilts her head in my direction, but doesn't make eye contact. "I didn't want my memories of this room," of Kate and I, "to taint us. The bed is new, all the bedding…"

"It's a fresh start," she finally whispers just when I'm beginning to think I've made a monumental error.

"Yes," I agree hesitantly, a sigh of relief gusting from my lips when she abruptly turns to wrap her arms around my waist and press her face against my chest. "Do you like it?"

I want her to like it. I want her to want to be here, with me. I want to make new memories here, with her.

"It's beautiful, Edward." Stretching up onto her tiptoes, she presses her mouth against mine, the salty taste of tears on her lips. Worried, I pull back and brush the back of my hand over her wet cheek. Her smile puts my mind at ease, but not completely. "This is a huge step for you. I'm proud and happy and all the feels."

_All the._..Right.

Smiling, I pop a kiss on the tip of her nose. "It's a huge step for us, not just me."

As September passes us by, my trip looms on the horizon. I'm looking forward to seeing my parents, my brother, and his family, but I'm going to miss the shit out of Bella and the boys. I'm also concerned that Mom is going to take the opportunity to press me about Kate, but that will have to be dealt with if it comes up and not before. I don't want to start out on a bad note.

The day before my flight out, I spend a rare lazy morning sunning myself by the pool. It will be a good deal colder in Utah than it is here, so I make use of the new adirondack chair Charlie and Renee got me for my birthday and park myself in the backyard. Throughout the morning I receive texts from Mom, Sullivan, and Bella.

Mom wants to remind me that she's going to have Dad or Jasper collect me from the airport, so I don't need to rent a car.

Sullivan is having a whale of a time with his buddies in Miami before he'll fly out to Salt Lake City to join me at the end of the week. He's looking forward to seeing Dad, Jasper, Alice, and Matty. Mom, not so much. I don't blame him, really. Their relationship has always been strained.

And Bella...I snort when I open her message and see the attached picture. She's at an intensive puppy training course with Max. It's run by the shelter she got him from, but she's had to drive a bit further out because the closer class was full.

**_I hate him_.**

In the picture, obviously taken slyly judging by the angle, all the other dogs are sitting nicely. Max, however, is sprawled out on his back with his legs in the air and his tongue lolling out the side of his jowls.

**_At least you can't say you have a boring dog,_** I type, grinning when she shoots back an eye roll emoji.

The morning passes slowly with no Max, no boys, Sullivan, or Bella to distract me. In fact, I'm so bored of sitting by myself that I jump up when my phone rings a couple of hours later, hoping to see Jones's or Garrett's names so they can ask me to come help at the restaurant.

_**Hot stuff**_ calling...

"Fuckin' Sully," I grumble, sliding the green button across the screen with my thumb to answer the call as I glance at the clock. I thought the class was running until two, and it's barely noon. "Hey, short stuff. Is everythin' okay? Max didn't get the boot already, did he?"

"No, no," Bella huffs, instantly putting me on alert. It sounds like she's running. "I need to ask you a huge favor, and I really wouldn't if I had another choice, but I don't."

Torn between worry and hurt that she's only turning to me because she has to, I ask what she needs.

"I've just had a call from Arlo's teacher and he's throwing up everywhere. Mom and Dad are out of town, Rosalie went with them, Ben and Ang took Danny to see her parents, and Everly is no closer than I am because she's at a swim meet in Jacksonville. I've tried everyone I can think of and nobody can go get him."

My heart takes off at a sprint as my stomach does a flip. Can I do this?

"I'm so sorry, Edward, don't worry, I'll try—"

"No, it's…" Swallowing hard, I force the words from my mouth even though I'm not sure I mean them. "I'll be fine. I'll go get him. Will they know to expect me?" Bella quickly runs through the new protocol the kindergarten operates—a password system so that only people who know the code can collect each individual child—before telling me she'll be as quick as she can. She's just jumping in the car and the GPS says she'll be a little over an hour if there's traffic.

"Do you still have keys to Mom and Dad's to get his seat?"

"Yeah, I have the keys. It's fine, Bella," I grunt, swiping my keys from the kitchen counter on my way through the house. "I'll see you in a bit."

After running to Charlie and Renee's to get Arlo's seat, the drive to the school takes minutes, but it feels like a lifetime. My senses start to shut down one by one, my heart pounding so hard I can feel it in my ears and my toes. My hands white-knuckle the steering wheel as I turn onto the street I've successfully avoided for six years.

I haven't been back since that day. The day Tyler Crowley got in his car after taking a cocktail of drugs that should have killed him but killed my daughter instead. He wasn't coherent enough to know the sheet of paper which flew past his windshield wasn't going to damage his car. He swerved, slamming straight into the trunk of my Jeep.

A sick sense of irony means that the only available parking spot is almost exactly where I was parked that day. Swallowing bile, I switch off the engine and take a few deep breaths to stave off the panic attack threatening. White spots dance in the back of my eyes, breathlessness stealing my composure until I remind myself that Arlo is waiting.

Willow is gone, but Arlo is here and he needs me.

A woman who introduces herself as Miss Mickey greets me when I push through the glass doors and bark the password at her. I'm sure I look a state, but she doesn't say anything. She pokes her head into a little room just off the reception area, then Arlo appears. He's white as a sheet and his face is streaked with tears as he hiccups and tells me he's been sick, a paper bag clutched tight in his little hands.

"Oh, buddy," I whisper, crouching to wipe his face with the sleeve of my henley. "It's okay. Let's get you home, huh?"

"'Kay." Scooping him into my arms, I thank Miss Mickey and take Arlo's backpack, carrying him out to the car. Once he's buckled in and comfy, I press the back of my hand against his forehead and wince. He's hot.

"Do you have some water in that big bag of yours?"

"I think so…" His chest heaves in a big, shaky breath and his eyes fill with tears; he doesn't bother brushing them away when they start to fall. "B-but I don't wanna drink it, Easy. I f-feel sick and it makes me feel sicker."

"It's okay, buddy, you're okay. You're just hot, that's all." Plucking him back out of his seat as he melts down, I lean on the car and cradle him in my arms until he's calmer and less likely to make himself sick by crying. "It's okay, I've got you." Sucking in a deep breath, I rub his back. "I've got you, buddy."

Arlo clings tighter, his little arms wrapped around my neck, and I bury my face in his hair as my eyes squeeze shut.

~ oOo ~

"He's fine now, he's resting. He's been drinking lots of water and managed a few crackers." Bella passes the door, shooting me a small smile as she listens to whatever Renee is saying on the phone. Looking back at Arlo, who insisted I get into his mom's bed with him when she tucked him in, I lightly run my fingers through his hair and sigh.

It's been a rough day.

Since getting home, Arlo's been sick a bunch more times and cried almost constantly. He wants to be held but he's too hot, and he wants to eat but every time he does, it comes right back up. Seeing him so miserable wrecks me. It's even worse knowing that come tomorrow, I'll be leaving him—leaving Bella to handle everything by herself. She's more than capable, but I want to help. I want to be here for her, for Arlo, for all of them.

The thought of cancelling or delaying my trip has crossed my mind once or a hundred times this afternoon. It's only the fact that I promised Matty I'd come watch the final of his soccer tournament tomorrow that stops me checking out alternative flights.

"Hey," Bella breathes a few minutes later, quietly closing the door behind her. "Jax and Finn are out and Max is fast asleep in his bed."

"That's good," I smile, waving her over. "Get over here. You look beat."

The dark shadows under Bella's eyes make me feel guiltier for leaving, but she shakes her head and assures me she's fine as she ducks into the bathroom. When she returns, she's wearing a set of silky blue pajamas that contrast beautifully with her summer tan. If we didn't have Arlo between us, his head resting on my chest, I'd be all over her.

Snuggling down with her gaze trained intently on us, her eyes soft but her thoughts running wild behind them, Bella sighs long and low, her smile weak. "We're going to miss you."

"I could stay," I offer, trying to work out what I could tell Mom and Dad if I flew out just for the weekend rather than the planned two weeks. "I have one thing I need to do, but I could come right back."

"No, don't be silly. You need to go see your family." The atmosphere in the room shifts as she fiddles with the edge of the thin blanket covering Arlo.

"Go on. Say whatever's on your mind. I'm an open book when it comes to you, Bella." It's something I've wanted to say for a while now, but not until I meant it. I mean it now. Anything she wants to know, I'll tell her.

Chewing her lip for a moment, she finally asks, "What happened with you and Kate?"

Even though I'd figured this question was coming eventually, I wasn't necessarily expecting it now. Blowing out a big breath, I manage a faint smile. "Start with the big questions, huh?"

"Sorry." She winces. "It's been playing on my mind."

"It's okay. It's a conversation we need to have. I can't lie, I have questions for you, too."

Bella nods. "That's fair, and I'll answer any questions you have."

"All right." Steeling myself for a difficult conversation, I shift down, almost laughing at Arlo's sleepy grumbles when I jostle him a little. Reminding myself that this is Bella, I ready myself to tell her something I've never told another soul. I can feel the chill seeping into my veins as I cast my mind back. "Well, Kate and I were on the rocks long before Willow…We were on different paths, wanted different things. She's always wanted more than what I could give her. She never wanted Jackson Bay like I did."

I feel foolish now, looking back. It was so obvious that she was pulling away, that she had no intention of making the bay her home like I had. Of course, I never expected her to cheat on me.

"She was having an affair for most of our marriage," I admit into the quiet room, watching Bella's brows pinch together. "She was sleeping with one of her co-workers from around a year after we got married. The whole time I was here, setting up a home for us, for our family…I was paying for our IVF treatment and the whole time…"

"She was with him," Bella breathes, reaching across Arlo to hold my hand. "I'm so sorry, Edward."

"I'm not," I admit, but my thoughts are flying around. It's not Kate's infidelity that bothers me, not anymore. "I was hurt when I found out, of course I was, but it was…"

It was her words that undid me. My heart thunders away in my chest, my stomach turning, as I replay the words she hurled at me the morning after we buried Willow.

Tossing a file of papers on the end table, she shakes her head. "I'm done, Edward. We're done."

"What?" Staring blankly up at her, whiskey goggles firmly in place, I feel myself shaking my head. "Why are you doing this? Now? We just buried our daughter, Kate." Angry now, I bang my fist on the table. She flinches. "Our daughter just died and you're doing this now?"

"For God's sake, Edward!" she cries, throwing her hands in the air as tears leak over her cheeks. "She's not even your daughter!"

My ears ring so loud I can't hear it when she curses and tugs her hair out of its messy bun.

Not even my…

"Wh-what?"

Kate's tears always used to make me feel bad. I've always hated seeing her cry. Her composure crumples as she sags into the wingback chair across from me. "I don't know...she might be James's."

She might be James's. Not...not mine?

I'm pulled from my memories by the sound of Bella biting out a quiet curse. Tears stream over her cheeks as she carefully slides Arlo away from me, taking his place so she can kneel over my stomach and wrap her arms around my chest as she buries her face in the crook of my neck.

"I hate her," she cries against my skin, squeezing me tight, knitting me back together the way she has been for weeks now. "I hate her so much. How could she do that to you?"

"She didn't care about me," I croak, my voice thick with emotion and the lump that lodges itself in my throat every time I think of that day. I'd just buried my daughter and she chose that moment to tell me Willow might not have been mine in the first place. I'll never forgive her for that. "Willow was mine, Bella." Pulling back to look at me, her eyes red and still leaking fat tears that break my heart, Bella cocks her head. "I don't need a DNA test to tell me that that little girl was my little girl. Nobody will take that away from me. Not Kate and certainly not James."

Cupping my face between her small palms, Bella breathes out a shaky sigh. "I can't even...you're so strong, Edward. So much stronger than you believe."

I'm not sure she's right, but I choose to believe her anyway. Pulling her down into my side, I carefully slide Arlo back over and tuck him into my other side. Carefully, Bella adjusts the blanket so it's over all three of us before pressing a kiss right over my still-racing heart.

"I've never told anybody what I just told you," I whisper into the darkness when she switches off the lamp.

"I'm so glad you trust me enough to share that with me. I won't break your trust, Edward," she whispers back, snuggling in tight.

"I know that."

And I do.

Just like I know that I've fallen head over heels for Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo as if they're my own sons. I'm not their dad, but I wish I could be. Going forward, whatever they want from me, whatever role they need me to fill, I'll be there.

I'm more content now than I have been since the day my little girl was taken from me. My smiles come more frequently, my breaths easier—it's all because of them and their momma. I'll never forget Willow or stop grieving for the life she would have lived, but I'm slowly realizing that I can live for the both of us.

I'm a black and white page in Arlo's picture book. Bella and the boys are the watercolors bleeding between the lines, bringing me back to life.

The woman in my arms, she's it for me. She's the fire I lost when Willow slipped away from me, the joy I forgot how to feel, and the calm I've been searching for.

She's the woman I love.

* * *

**Next update: Wednesday**

**Important notice: Fandoms for Hope & Relief (on Facebook) is pulling together once again to raise money for the people and animals affected by the devastating bush fires in Australia. If you're interested in donating to this very worthy cause, be it monetarily or with a story, beta services, banner making, etc, please join the group on Facebook or come find me and and I'll point you in the right direction. All the details for sign-ups and donations and whatnot are there in that group.**

**As always, huge "thank you's" need to go to the wonderful ladies who help me out with this story, particularly my good friend **annaharding **because she's always so darn helpful and great at talking me off the ledge. Can't wait to see you again later this year!**

**And big hugs to all of you wonderful people taking the time to read and review. When there's other bullshit going on, it's your reviews and sweet words that get me through the writer's block and the 'can I do this?' wobbles.**


	26. Chapter 26 - Edward

**So after that mean, mean teaser I left you last night (if you didn't see it, come join the fun in my FB reader group: CiaraShayee's Subconscious) I thought I'd post a bit earlier in the day than usual.**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Six**

_**Edward**_

Stepping out of Salt Lake International Airport, I tuck my cell back in my pocket and shiver, pulling my zip-up sweater tighter around me, my eyes searching…

"Over here, Uncle Ed!"

Of course the day I arrive in Utah would be the coldest day of September so far. It's still reasonably warm by most people's standards, I reckon, but for a guy who never leaves Florida, it's pretty damn chilly. Even Matty, a born and raised Utah native, is wearing a thin sweater as he hangs out of the backseat window.

"Hey, Matty," I chuckle, ruffling his hair when I get close enough. Dad calls out to tell me the trunk is open, so I jog around and dump my luggage before slamming it shut and climbing in the front seat beside him.

"All set?" he asks, shooting me a grin—the crooked smile I inherited—as he pulls away from the pick-up area after twisting to check Matty is buckled back into his seat.

"All set," I confirm, blowing out a breath of relief. I'm finally here.

After a delayed flight out of Jacksonville, I missed my layover in Dallas. I got lucky and managed to catch a slightly later plane but it means I'm here almost three hours later than planned and for all my concern about leaving Bella and the boys and missing Matty's soccer match, I've missed it anyway.

Twisting in my seat, I eye my nephew still dressed in his soccer kit. "How'd it go, Matty? Did you give 'em hell?"

"I did! I scored two goals," he tells me, using his free hand to hold down all but two of the fingers on the other. "We won four to two."

"That's great, buddy! Well done." Side-eyeing Dad, I tell him, "Maybe Gamma and Pops will have some treats at home to celebrate."

Matty's face lights up, his smile only widening when Dad admits that they may have a surprise or two in the freezer.

During the short drive from the airport to Mom and Dad's house, Dad and I listen to Matty as he chatters about everything that crosses his mind, from the breakfast he had with his mom and dad on Monday to the picture he drew which is apparently now tacked to the fridge at his other grandparents' house. He happily agrees to draw me a picture to take home to put on my fridge; I don't miss Dad's quick glance, but choose not to mention it.

Just as we pull up onto my parents' street, my phone pings. Stifling the no-doubt goofy grin threatening to take over my face, I pull it out of my pocket and breathe a sigh of relief when I read Bella's incoming text.

_**Arlo's much better today. He's just managed a pancake and a little fruit, now he's lounging in the bath xx**_

Before I can reply, another message pops up, this time with an attached picture.

_**He says to say you've been gone so long he's grown a beard like yours xx**_

The image she's attached makes me chuckle aloud. Arlo is shoulders deep in the tub wearing a bubble beard and a silly smile. With a pang, I tell her I miss him too—I miss all of them.

_**I miss you all so much. I'm already counting down the days until I'm home with you**_

Pausing, I add a couple of Xs before sending the message as we roll to a stop on the driveway.

"We're here," Dad announces with a sigh, shooting my phone a curious look as he reaches over to squeeze my shoulder before climbing out.

Sucking in a deep breath, I eye my childhood home with trepidation, hoping this trip will go better than the last.

**~ oOo ~**

Much to my relief, my first few days in Utah go off without a hitch.

Mom is on her best behavior—I'm sure Dad has something to do with that—and it's surprisingly refreshing being somewhere with such a different climate and landscape to home. There are no beaches here, but the mountain range stands tall and imposing on the horizon. In the evenings, Dad and I enjoy a bourbon together on the back porch while we shoot the shit and gaze out at the Oquirrh Mountains.

Sometimes Jasper joins us, but he's busy organizing a big merger for his company, so we see more of Alice and Matty than him.

Being back in the town where I was raised, being around my family, is nice, but by day four, missing the boys and Bella leaves me with an all-too-familiar ache in my chest and a rock in the pit of my stomach. It only worsens every time I remember that I still have more than a week to go until I can have them in my arms again. For now, I have to settle for texts and phone calls. Mom has caught the tail-end of my conversations with Bella a couple of times now and I'm sure she's dying to ask who I'm speaking to. She hasn't yet, but I bet she's working up to it.

"_Hey, handsome,"_ Bella breathes, her beautiful face filling the screen of my phone.

Grinning, I adjust my pillow and shuffle down the bed a little, propping my phone up against a throw cushion. It's still weird, being in my childhood bedroom. It hasn't changed much since I left shortly after my eighteenth birthday. The only things that _have _changed are the carpet and all my posters which once covered almost one whole wall. They're boxed up in the garage now, Mom's treadmill standing at the foot of my bed. Still, the similarities are disconcerting.

I wonder if this is how Bella felt stepping back into her old room after so long in England.

"Hey, short stuff. How's it going?"

"_Good," _she smiles, nodding and getting comfortable. I long to be in her bed with her, that sweet smile close enough to kiss. She's too damn far away. I've gotten spoilt, having her in bed with me at least a couple nights a week. I haven't slept half as well here as I do when I have her in my arms or wrapped around me. "_I've got my bed back to myself tonight. Arlo wanted a sleepover with Jax and Finn, so we made them a pillow fort between the beds and they're all tucked in there."_

"I wish I could see it," I whisper, rubbing my chest.

Her gaze softens.

_Does she know how she owns me? How my mind revolves around her now, her and the boys? I doubt it._

"_I'll send you a picture. How's it going with your family?"_

"It's, nice, actually." She snorts, shaking her head, pulling a wry smile from me. "I know, I know. I sound really enthusiastic, right?" I rake a hand through my hair. "It's nice spending time with them. Mom is behaving so far."

She had a brief blip this evening when she brought up Kate again, but I shut her down and we moved on. She accepted the topic change surprisingly easily, actually.

"_That's good, I'm glad you're enjoying your trip."_ Something like nervousness crosses her face. "_Just don't enjoy Utah _too much_, okay? We need you back here when you're done visiting."_

"Silly Bella," I laugh softly, mindful of the thin wall separating my room from my parents'. "I'll be back on the tenth. It's just a little over a week to go now."

"_I just miss you. You broke your promise." _I only have to raise my eyebrows to get her to add, "_You said you'd be back before we could miss you. Well, we miss you." _She quickly scrunches up her face and shakes her head. "_I'm sorry. I promised myself I wouldn't pile on the guilt, I just...this is hard. I'm such a girl. You've only been gone a few days."_

"A few days too many," I tell her quietly, just as frustrated with the distance and the time still stretched out before us. "Once I get back from this trip, I'm not goin' anywhere for a long time."

"_We are, though. We're going to see Jude for a week at the beginning of December."_

My brows furrow, though I try to stifle my grimace. "I forgot about that."

Her sad smile tugs at my heartstrings. "_We're such saps, aren't we?"_

"I blame you, short stuff. I was all tough and mean and shit before you came back and worked your magic."

We spend a little while talking, Bella resolutely denying having anything to do with my personality transplant and telling me how she's looking forward to taking the boys to pick out new stuff for Max between school and her shift at Burger Co. tomorrow, before her yawns interrupt every other sentence and she's struggling to keep her eyes open.

"Go to sleep, Bella," I finally laugh when she apologizes for the tenth time, covering her mouth as her eyes begin to water.

Sheepishly, she blows me a kiss. "_I'll speak to you tomorrow. Let me know when you have a few minutes free and I'll let the boys speak to you."_

"I'd like that." More than I can say. Sullivan is flying out tomorrow so I'll be running interference between him and Mom, but I'll make time for Bella and the boys. Hell, Sullivan will probably want to speak to them, too.

"_Goodnight, Edward."_

"Goodnight, short stuff. Sweet dreams." _I love you._

The words hover there, right on the tip of my tongue, but I bite them back and whisper them into the dark room once she's hung up and I'm lying on my back, one arm under my head as I stare at the ceiling. There's no rushing ocean to soothe the frayed edges of my mind, no Bella to curl up with, and no boys to sneak away from in the morning. The bed is too soft, the room too quiet. I sleep fitfully, tossing and turning for the fourth night in a row. When I finally give up and hit the shower before moseying into the kitchen shortly after seven, I'm surprised to find that I'm not alone.

"Morning, Edward," Mom murmurs, shooting me a quick smile between sips of her coffee. Joining her by the window overlooking the backyard and the stunning mountains beyond, I only hesitate for a moment before wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"Mornin', Mom. You're up early."

She shrugs. "I was doing some thinking last night. It kept me up."

"Anything I can help with?"

I can feel her eyes on me as I slip away, stepping over to the coffee machine to pour myself a cup.

"Actually, it was _you _I've been thinking about."

My eyebrows lift. _Me?_

"I've made plenty of mistakes in my life, son, but I've failed you spectacularly these last few years, haven't I?" The inflection on the end of her sentence makes it a question, but she doesn't sound like she particularly wants an answer. Mom sighs, her gaze sad as she sets down her mug and turns to face me, twisting her hands in front of her. "I'm sorry, Edward. Truly sorry. I know I've tried to force Kate on you since the divorce, and in the interest of honesty and a fresh start, I invited her over this weekend."

Anger ignites my blood. "Mom, that's not—"

She shakes her head, cutting me off. "I called her and cancelled a couple of weeks ago. I've been...blind, you could say." Waving me over, she takes my hand and guides me into a seat at the table. "Do you know why I kept trying to push you and Kate back together?"

"No." I'm still annoyed, still frustrated with her for meddling, but I want to know where she's going with this before I lose it, so although my tone is curt, it's not the litany of curses I'm biting back.

Her smile shifts into a grimace, her eyes apologetic. "I just wanted to see you happy again, Edward. You and Kate were happy once, weren't you?"

Slowly, I nod. "We were. But it never would have lasted. It _didn't _last." Blowing out a breath, I open up to her for the first time since I was a teenager. The trouble Kate and I were having, it's news to her; I can tell by the widening of her eyes and the confusion in her gaze. "We were drifting apart long before Willow...before Willow died. And Kate was cheating on me, Mom." Mom gasps, her hand flying to her mouth as tears instantly spring into her eyes. "She was having an affair with one of her co-workers for years before we divorced, that's why she didn't want to leave Utah. Losing Willow was just the thing that tipped us over the edge. It gave her the out she'd been looking for."

For a few long seconds, the only sounds in the kitchen are the coffee machine ticking as it cools and the breeze rattling the kitchen window shutters. I turn my head, gazing out of the window at the swaying oak tree at the end of the yard and the clouds drifting across the sky. Then Mom stutters a shaky "I had no idea" and squeezes my hand. "Why didn't you _tell me_?"

Before I can speak, I see the penny drop. I can see the very second she realizes what the repercussions of Kate's affair might have been.

"Willow...is she...was she…"

Clearing the lump in my throat, I nod, just a dip of my chin. I'm surprised by how good I feel as relief blankets Mom's features. She doesn't need to know that Willow might not have shared our DNA. She just needs to know the same thing I do—Willow was mine, she was _ours_. Nothing and nobody will change that. Not even death itself.

"I don't need Kate to be happy, Mom."

"I see that, and I'm sorry for trying to force it. I had no idea...she doesn't seem the type to do that, but of course I believe you. Everything makes so much more sense now you've explained that." Pulling a napkin from the dispenser in the middle of the table, she loudly blows her nose and dabs at her eyes. "But you've seemed like a completely different person these last few days. Well, these last few weeks, actually. Alice said you were like a new man when she, Jasper, and Matty came to stay with you."

For a moment, I consider telling her why. I consider telling her about the woman who has stolen what I thought was a dead heart, but Bella should hear that first.

I'm nervous as shit for her reaction to what will doubtlessly be an emotional "I love you" when I return, but I feel like the words will explode from me at some point if I don't willingly set them free. She should know first. "I'm happy," I admit, feeling my lips curl up on one side. "For the first time in a long time," _since I lost Willow_, "I'm really, truly happy."

Squeezing our hands together with a wide smile and tear-filled jade eyes, Mom sighs. She wants to press me for the hows and whys, but she doesn't. Not yet, at least. I'm grateful. "You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear that."

**~ oOo ~**

"All right," Dad says loudly, strolling into the kitchen with his keys dangling off his finger. "I'm heading out to the airport." Eyeing me, he cocks his head. "Do you want to come with me?"

My gaze darts over to Mom. She's smiling, but it's clearly forced. She's trying though and that's what matters. Sullivan is due to land in a half hour or so to spend the next week here, so I know she's bolstering herself. She doesn't always treat Sullivan with the respect he deserves, but there's been a very noticeable shift in the way she acts since the last time I saw her. It fills me with hope that this trip might be less uncomfortable than others previous.

"Yeah, why not?" As I pass Mom, I wrap an arm around her shoulders from behind and plant a kiss on the top of her head. "You'll be all right here?"

"Oh, I'm fine. I'll finish getting dinner ready." Raising her voice, she calls, "Matty will help me, won't you?"

Matty comes careening into the room on socked feet, brushing his hair out of his eyes. Alice is at a baby shower this afternoon, so Mom volunteered to watch Matty. He's been 'helping' me and Dad repair Mom's greenhouse, getting it ready for the colder winter months. And by 'helping,' I mean 'thoroughly distracting' us. "I'll help, Gamma. Help with what?"

Chuckling, Dad and I head out, climbing into his SUV as Matty and Mom wave at us through the dining room window.

"She's really glad you came and seem to be enjoying yourself," he comments as we head toward the airport.

Glancing sideways at him, I find myself smiling. "I'm glad, too. And I _am _enjoying myself."

"Your mom told me you two had a conversation this morning…"

"We did," I admit gruffly, hating that I can _feel _the sympathy pouring from him. "I didn't tell you all because I didn't see any point. There was no benefit to you all knowing."

"I understand. I can't say that I'm disappointed you didn't feel like you could come to us with it, but that's our doing. And she really is sorry, son. I know she can be...overbearing."

We both grin when a loud chuckle bursts free from my chest.

Wryly, he continues. "Okay, so that might be an understatement. But she means well, you know that, don't you?"

There's no denying it—she _does_ mean well, even if her methods could use work. She infuriates and amuses me in almost equal measure, but under it all, beneath the meddling, scheming, and fussing, she's just a parent trying to do right by her family by whatever means necessary. I can appreciate that.

"I know," I finally murmur, removing my cap to run a hand through my hair before setting it back on my head. "I think we've turned a corner."

He nods. "If it's any consolation, she was already regretting speaking to Kate when Alice and Jasper came back after seeing you and told us how different you were. That solidified it for her, but I am wondering, we're _both _wondering, what's changed? I'd be lying if I said I haven't noticed any changes in you."

Blowing out a big breath through my nose, I fall silent as we pull into the short-stay parking lot. Dad waits patiently, hunting for a spot before finally killing the engine when we find one. Turning in his seat, he offers me a small smile, his blue eyes soft, but knowing.

"Look, you don't have to spill your guts to me, son. You're a grown man and you've proven you're more than capable of taking care of yourself. God knows, your mom and I haven't done the best job of it, at least the last few years."

"Dad—"

"No, let us own our mistakes, please." His earnest expression and pleading tone convince me to shut up. His half-smile is apologetic as he reaches over to squeeze my forearm. "We're going to do better. We thought we were helping by taking a step back and giving you space. Now, I think we were wrong to do that. But something has happened, something has changed, and though I have my suspicions, I understand if you want to keep it to yourself." Smirking, he adds, "I just hope you'll let us meet her when you're ready."

My ears heat like a schoolboy who's been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "_Dad_," I groan, rubbing the back of my neck.

He finds my discomfort hilarious. Dad chuckles as he removes the key from the ignition and climbs out of the car. "Come on, son. Let's go get Sullivan before he thinks we've forgotten about him."

**~ oOo ~**

Frowning, I check my watch again and glance up at the 'arrivals' board. "It says it arrived thirty minutes ago."

Dad is frowning, too, his foot tapping the floor and his fingers drumming his knee. "Did he give you any inclination to believe he might not come?"

"No, none." I mean, it's a white lie. I know Sullivan wasn't a hundred percent sure about this trip, but when I spoke to him before I left, he'd made up his mind to come. The fact that I'd be here too was the deciding factor in the end; he was pleased he'd have me as a buffer.

"Have you heard from him today?"

Pulling my cell from the pocket of my sweater, I scroll back to the last message he sent me.

_**Bella + the boys are giving me a ride to the airport so I'll see you soon brother! Ps battery is low **_**\- Sully**

"He messaged to say he was getting a ride to the airport this morning. I haven't heard from him since then."

Deciding to call Bella, because I haven't heard from her since this morning either, I find her number and hit 'dial,' mouthing to Dad to keep an eye on the doors as I wander a few feet away.

"_Hey, you've reached Bella Swan. I'm sorry I can't get to the phone right now, but if you leave a message and your number I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks!"_

"Voicemail," I mumble, shaking my head. She's probably on her way to get the boys from their art class before they head out to restock on dog supplies. Typing out a text, I reread it quickly before hitting 'send' and walking back over to Dad, who looks just about ready to explode with nervous anticipation. "I'll just go and ask somebody. The people we saw before might have been getting off a different plane."

It's a weak suggestion and I know it. Dad nods stiffly, pulling at his hair. I bite back a grin, recognizing his nervous tick because it's the same as mine, and wander off in search of someone who might be able to tell us what's going on. Finally spotting somebody in a uniform, I plaster a friendly smile on my face and jog over. "Hi there. I was just wondering, is there any way—"

The sudden vibration of my cell in my pocket cuts me off. The airport worker smiles and waves at me to answer it. "It's okay, Sir, take your call. I'll wait."

"Thank you," I murmur, exhaling deeply when I see Bella's name on the screen. "Bella, hi. Weird question, did Sully get to the airport okay earlier?"

A cold ball of dread and confusion bulldozes its way through my chest into my stomach as my ears pick up sounds they don't expect. Sirens and muffled chatter. An unfamiliar male voice.

"_Hello, is that...Edward Cullen?"_

"It is," I snap, my stomach twisting. "Who's this?"

"_My name is Collin, Sir. I'm an EMT based out of Jackson Bay_—"

"Why have you got Bella's phone?" Fear slithers through my veins just as Dad's hand lands on my shoulder, spinning me around. Tunnel vision takes over, blocking out everything but him and the voice on the other end of the phone. Dad is frowning, asking what's wrong, trying to piece together the few things I've said.

"_I'm sorry to tell you this, Sir, but there's been an accident and I was wondering if you'd be able to help me with some contact details."_

**~ oOo ~**

The seatbelt is too tight, the air too thin. I feel claustrophobic as I suck in a deep breath and close my eyes, tipping my head back against the headrest as the flight attendant begins the safety brief.

This can't be happening. It just can't.

It feels like a million ants are crawling over me as I remind myself to keep taking deep breaths. It's necessary if I want to stave off the panic attack that's been hovering on the horizon ever since the EMT admitted that he was at the scene of a road traffic accident involving the four most important people in my life.

Bella, Jaxon, Finley, and Arlo.

It's taken six hours and a whole lot of soul-searching but I've finally been able to admit that although I love Willow and always will, I need to learn how to move on. I'll miss her forever and I'll always be devastated that she's not here with me, but Bella and the boys are my future. I can't and won't live without them. Not for another day. When this plane lands, I'm going straight to the hospital and telling Bella that, too. We need to have a conversation and get everything out in the open, but I want her to know I'm done hiding, I'm done keeping us a secret. I don't know how her family is going to react, but I'm willing to see where the chips fall if she's willing to take a chance on me.

Not knowing what I'll find when I get to the hospital is a festering wound that throbs every time I think about it. All the EMT would say was that all four of them were being loaded into ambulances and taken to the hospital. I asked about Max, too. He seemed unhurt but was being taken to the nearest veterinarian by the police, 'just to be checked over' he said. After giving him Charlie's and Renee's cell numbers as well as their home number, I hung up and blindly followed Dad as he tried to get me booked on the first flight back to Florida.

"Bro, are you okay?"

Breathing slowly, I let my eyes peel open and turn my head to nod stiffly at my brother. Sullivan finally showed up just after the call that yanked the rug from beneath my feet. His baggage got lost somewhere in transit and he was speaking to someone from the airline about locating it, which is why he was later than expected. Dad had just caught me as my knees gave way when Sullivan jogged into the arrivals hall.

"I can't lose them," I finally croak, the words tasting like acid on my tongue.

Sullivan's brows are furrowed but he reaches over, grabbing my hand. "Listen to me, big brother. I've only ever met one person stronger than Bella. Whatever happened, she's going to fight it. She'll be fine, and Jax, Finn, and Arlo will be, too. I bet she'll be waiting to kick your ass for cutting your trip short as soon as we get to the hospital."

As much as I want to believe him, I can't help but conjure all the worst-case scenarios to the front of my mind. I can't help but picture them all bloody and hurt while I'm thousands of miles away.

"Hey, listen to me, bro," Sullivan urges, squeezing our joined hands. "You love them, right?"

Nodding, I blink back tears. "Yes." It's the first time I've said it out loud, but he's the only one who knows about us. Being able to admit it lifts a huge weight off my shoulders.

His lips kick up in a lopsided grin. "Then believe in them, yeah?"

Managing a weak smile, I squeeze his hand back and nod, focusing all my energy on staying calm. We have just over four hours on this plane, an hour or so in Atlanta, then an hour from there to Jacksonville before _another _hour driving to Jackson Bay—assuming they haven't been taken to the bigger city hospital. I need to keep a cool head. "Thanks, Sully. I'm glad you're coming with me, little brother."

"Ah, it's nothin'." His eyes crinkle with mischief. "Anything to get out of a week with the 'rents."

Lightly socking him in the shoulder, I huff a half-hearted chuckle and settle in for what will doubtlessly be a painful flight.

A couple of hours later, after listening to Sullivan snore for almost forty minutes, something occurs to me. Poking him in the ribs until he wakes with a sputter, wiping drool from the corner of his mouth, I frown. "Wh-wha?" he mumbles, stretching out as best he can. He has the same issues I do when flying—long legs and not a lot of leg room.

"Earlier...you said you've 'only met one person stronger than Bella.' Who did you mean?"

Rolling his eyes, Sullivan yawns and wriggles around to get comfortable again, the passenger on his other side shooting him a glare he can't see because he's got his eyes shut. "_You_, doofus. You're the strongest person I know."

Warmth floods me, but Sullivan doesn't hear my murmured thanks because he's already drifting back off to sleep.

**~ oOo ~**

After quite possibly the longest eight hours of my life, Sullivan and I finally climb into my car as the sun begins to rise.

"Should you be driving?" he asks, eyeing me with trepidation as I whip the car out of its spot and turn it toward the exit.

"I'm fine, Sully. I just need to get there."

"All right, but if you get tired, pull over and I'll drive. Promise me."

"I promise," I say through gritted teeth, reminding myself that he's just being sensible. He's right to be cautious—I've been awake over twenty-four hours at this point. Ordinarily, I'd take him up on his offer to drive and catch some shut-eye on the hour-long drive home, but not today. I couldn't sleep if I tried, not knowing how Bella and the boys are. I've been trying to call Charlie and Renee since we landed, but neither of them are answering. My next port of call would be Rosalie, Benjamin, or Everly, but I don't have any of their personal numbers.

I know who might, though.

"Can you call Garrett? My cell is in the pocket of the backpack on the backseat."

"Sure." It doesn't take long for Sullivan to get my cell from the back and pull up Garrett's contact details, holding it up between us. "I'll put it on speaker."

"Thanks." Listening to it ring feels like a lifetime. We're out of the airport limits and on the journey home when Garrett finally picks up. I've got a few minutes before we hit the interstate and it gets harder to turn around to head back toward the hospital, so I need to know where to go.

"_Hey, man. I take it you've heard?"_

He knows. And he doesn't seem surprised to be hearing from me. I'll think about _that _later. For now...

"You know...what happened? How are they?"

Garrett says something quietly—presumably to Tanya—before there's a click and his voice gets a little louder. "_I don't know much, just what Ben told me. We were at the gym when Charlie called him on the way to the hospital. It sounds like they were on their way to Jacksonville and they got hit head-on. I'm not sure how it happened, but that's what Ben said before he rushed out the door. Tan spoke to Renee late last night and she said they were all still being looked after at JBH."_

So they're at Jackson Bay Hospital. That answers that question. I press a little harder on the accelerator.

"Are they…" _okay, together, alive? _

"_Edward, man, I wish I knew more, but I don't. Have you tried calling Charlie or Renee?"_

Explaining that I've tried both of them, I'm relieved when he tells me he's texting me Ben's number. I hear Tanya's faint voice before he says he'll send Rosalie and Everly's, too. "Thanks, Gare. And tell Tan I said the same."

"_Will do. There, all done. Tell them we're here to help if they need anything, all right? And the same to you. Where are you?"_

"About to jump on the 95."

"_All right. Drive safe. If you need pickin' up, call me. Don't drive like an ass."_

Snorting, I tell him I have Sullivan with me, promising to be safe and keep him updated.

Then it's just the interstate, the sunrise, and my fingers anxiously drumming the steering wheel as my racing heart prays its missing pieces are still beating.

**~ oOo ~**

"Swan. I'm lookin' for Bella Swan," I pant, slamming my hands on the reception desk. Sullivan dropped me at the main entrance and took the Jeep to park up, knowing I couldn't wait any longer. The drive that should have taken an hour took more like two, my frustration and desperation to lay eyes on Bella and the boys almost exploding out of me every time we hit a new pocket of congestion.

The receptionist blinks at me, wide-eyed, before asking for a name. "Edward Cullen."

"Oh! I've got a note for you." She moves all the papers around on her desk, thoroughly testing my patience, before mumbling "Aha!" and waving an orange Post-It in the air. "A Mrs. Cross was here not long ago, you actually just missed her. She asked me to give you this."

Almost snatching the note from her, I send up a heartfelt thanks for Tanya. She must have stopped in after I called to say we were stuck in traffic and find out if they'd heard anything else.

_**Second floor, room 1506. Take a deep breath. Tan.**_

"Thank you!" I'm running toward the elevator before the receptionist can acknowledge my thanks or say another word. When the doors don't open within a couple seconds, I shake my head and turn to the stairs instead, relying on pure adrenaline to push me forward even though my legs are screaming, my body heavy with exhaustion. I try not to think of what I'm about to find, but it's impossible not to.

I'm aching limbs, panted breaths, and stinging eyes, the bitter taste of my sour memories burning the back of my throat as the antiseptic smell synonymous with hospitals fills my lungs.

I haven't stepped foot in this building since the day Willow died in 2012, now I'm sprinting to the very same floor where she took her last breath. The sick irony is not lost on me.

When the door slams open on the second floor a few doctors and nurses look my way in surprise, but it's the familiar face I immediately spot that draws my attention.

_Kirsten._

"Mr. Cullen, are you all right?" she asks, her face the picture of concern as she hurries over, resting a hand on my shoulder when I bow, sucking in deep breaths with squeezed-shut eyes.

"Bella Swan," I pant, white spots dancing behind my eyelids. "Bella Swan...I'm here for Bella."

"EC?"

My head snaps up, fear taking over at the look on Rosalie's face. She looks shattered, her eyes rimmed red and her hair a mess around her head. She's always immaculate, never a hair out of place. Not today. She looks wrecked.

"Rose…"

Her composure crumbles, and my heart stops.

* * *

***peeking through fingers***

**See you Sunday! ;)**


	27. Chapter 27 - Edward

**WOW! So last chapter is my second highest reviewed chapter of ANY story I've ever posted. You guys are amazing!**

**(and I totally know you don't care what I'm saying up here when the answer to all your questions is below LOL, so have at it and come find me at the end)**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Seven**

_**Edward**_

There's barely any strength left in my body, but I make it over to her, wrapping her in my arms and resting my head against hers as the tears spill over and she buries her face against my chest. Everything in me screams for answers. Her hiccuping sobs tear at me like a knife through butter, every second that passes breaking my resolve not to shake her until she tells me what's going on.

"They're all alive," she finally whimpers, her cries quieting. My eyes pop open. "God, it was _so_ scary. Mom called me at work...they had to be rushed here."

Squeezing my eyes shut again, I feel hot tears burning my cheeks.

_They're alive._

I can take anything else as long as they're still here, still fighting. Anything else, we can deal with.

"But they're okay?" I croak into her hair, squeezing her tight.

"As okay as you could expect," Rosalie breathes, pulling away to wipe her cheeks with the too-long sleeves of what I'm guessing is Charlie's or Benjamin's sweater. A frown tugs at her brows. "What are you doing here? I thought you were in Utah?"

Before I have a chance to answer, the door to the family room swings open and a head of dark hair pops out, red-rimmed gray eyes widening when they spot me. I instantly drop to my knees. I don't care about the pain that shoots up my legs when they hit the floor or the way my voice catches on Jaxson's name as he barrels into my chest, promptly bursting into tears. I don't pay attention to Rosalie's choked cry or Kirsten quietly suggesting we move this into the family room.

My boy needs me.

Carefully pushing him back, I cradle his face in my hands and wipe tears from his rosy cheeks as my eyes search him for signs of injury. He has a butterfly bandage on his jaw and a bandage around his forearm, but that's it for visible injuries. "Are you okay, buddy?" I ask once I think I have a handle on my emotions. He needs me strong, not bawling like I want to right now. "Where are you hurt?"

He hiccups a shuddering breath before steeling himself, still clinging to the fabric of my sweater. "J-just my arm and here," he points to his arm, then his jaw. "My neck is a little sore but the doctor s-said that's normal."

"EC," Rosalie murmurs, nodding at Kirsten, then the family room door. "Maybe we should…"

Looking around, I see we've earned ourselves quite the audience. I don't particularly care, but Jaxson is uncharacteristically shy, burying his face in my shoulder. "C'mon, bud." Mindful of his arm, I scoop him up and follow Rosalie, unsurprised to find half of the Swan clan camping out on uncomfortable plastic chairs.

Charlie, Renee, Everly, and Benjamin are all here. The latter two are fast asleep, Everly's head resting on her brother's shoulder, a big blanket draped over both of them.

"EC! What are you doing here? We didn't want to disturb your vacation or we would have called you." Renee hops up, throwing her arms around me and Jaxson as he sniffles against my neck.

"I spoke to the EMT yesterday," I admit, biting back the emotion clogging my throat and the tears stinging my eyes. "I called her just after they got her out of the car. One of the EMTs called me back to find contact details for a next of kin, then I got on the first available flight."

Frowning, Renee blows her nose on a tissue she pulls from her pocket. "An EMT? They didn't say anything."

Stretching with an audible pop of his shoulder, Charlie winces and steps closer to wrap an arm around his wife's shoulders. "We didn't see them, love," he reminds her. "They'd already handed her over to the ER when we got here."

"True," she murmurs, reaching for her grandson. "Come here, baby—"

"No!" Jaxson snaps before new tears stream over his cheeks. "I want to stay with Easy."

Still frowning, Renee nods and hugs Charlie, eyeing me speculatively. "Okay, Jax, sweetie, that's okay."

"So what, um…" Rubbing Jaxson's back, I blow out a deep breath. "What happened? Where're Bella, Finley, and Arlo?"

Wiping her eyes, Renee motions for me to sit. "Finley and Arlo are downstairs in the cafeteria with Little Grandma. They have minor cuts and scrapes, mostly." Her eyes fill with tears and she presses her face against Charlie's shoulder for a moment before composing herself. "They think Arlo might have a fracture in his right ankle, but it was too swollen to tell last night. They'll look again today. We haven't got the full story yet, I don't think, but from what the boys have told us, they were driving through an intersection and the other car came from nowhere to hit them from the front."

Christ. I feel sick just thinking about it, but of course, I can't stop imagining what it must have looked like.

_The squeal of brakes. The crunch of metal. The shattering of glass._

_Screaming._

I squeeze Jaxson tighter, trying to remember that he's hurt so I don't make anything worse. He's clinging to me just as tight, though.

One thing from Renee's explanation sticks out the most.

"Why hasn't Bella told you what happened?" I ask with trepidation, my eyes jumping between Charlie, Renee, and Rosalie as they fidget.

"She hasn't woken up yet," Charlie finally breathes, the pain in his eyes crushing my hope, every thought flying from my mind but one.

_Not again._

"She hit her head pretty hard in the crash. The doctors have run some tests and they did a scan overnight, but the swelling...it's just a waiting game."

Charlie's voice sounds like it's coming from underwater, my ears and throat closing up like it will protect me from this.

I've heard those words before. I've played that game and lost. It's the very worst kind of deja vu and my fragile heart can't take another defeat.

"C-can I see her?" My voice is barely a whisper, my heart beating a shallow rhythm as all the adrenaline that's been keeping me going drains out of my body.

I can see the confusion taking hold, the wonder in Charlie and Renee's eyes, but it's Everly's voice that draws our attention. "I'll take you to see her," she offers quietly, careful not to jostle Benjamin as she extricates herself from the blanket and gets to her feet. Running her hand through Jaxson's hair, she murmurs, "Would you do me a favor, Jaxy?"

"What?" he whispers, eyeing her with suspicion.

"I think Nana and Papa are hungry, but they won't do as they're told and go get some food. Do you think you're responsible enough to make sure they go and eat?"

Torn between wanting to stay and wanting to be in charge of his grandparents, Jaxson finally sighs and leans back. "Okay. C'mon, Nana and Papa."

The fact that he refuses to be put down and insists on being passed from my arms to Charlie's doesn't escape any of our notice, but none of us mention it. I watch with a frown as Charlie carries him out of the room with Renee right behind them.

"Come on," Everly says quietly once they've gone, Rosalie opting to stay with their still-sleeping brother. She loops her arm through mine to tug me down the hall, greeting a couple of the nurses on the way and eyeing me curiously when Kirsten makes a point of saying 'hello' to me. "You know each other," she guesses, stopping outside room 1506. I keep my eyes on her, not quite ready to look inside.

"I do."

It takes a couple of seconds, but it's obvious when she realizes how and why I know her. "Oh."

"Yeah."

Blowing out a breath, she squeezes her eyes shut against a sudden rush of tears and shakes her head. "I can't...I can't go in there."

Dread and worry eclipses everything else. If Everly won't even go into the room, it can't be good. Steeling myself as best I can, I pull her against my chest and give her a tight, lingering hug before sucking in a breath and deciding I can't take it anymore. The distance is too great even though I know Bella is just on the other side of this door. Every atom of my body screams at me as I leave Everly sniffling into the neck of her sweater and slowly swing the door open, forcing myself to breathe before I pass out.

Nothing could have prepared me for what I see when I step into the room. The sight of Bella lying still on the bed, her head and neck in a brace and a multitude of wires running from various IVs to machines at her bedside, knocks the breath from my body.

"Christ, Bella."

Getting closer, I see the little cuts and scrapes littered over her face and arms. I see the stitches holding her left eyebrow together and the split in her otherwise perfect lips. Hot tears stream over my cheeks as I reach for her hand, mindful of the IV sticking out the back, and intertwine our fingers before giving them a squeeze.

She doesn't squeeze back.

Dropping slowly to my knees, I rest my forehead against our joined fingers and do something I haven't done since the day of Willow's accident.

I pray.

I pray for her injuries to be less life-threatening than they appear right now. I pray for her to wake up and laugh all this off in her usual way. I pray for her ability to look at the positives instead of the negatives and her sunny outlook on life. I pray for her voice, her smile, her _love_.

Throughout my whispered prayers, tears continue to pour over my face. When I've run out of words and my throat is too tight to speak, I wipe my cheek on my shoulder and catch a glimpse of movement in the corner of my eye.

Charlie stares back at me through the window, his dark eyes narrowed.

**~ oOo ~**

"Easy!" Arlo squeals, bouncing in his wheelchair as Little Grandma pushes him toward us, Finley at his side. With a faint grin, I tuck my cell into my hoodie pocket and gently hug the boys.

"Hey, you two." Gently touching the new cast on Arlo's leg, I cock my head. "Do you want me to draw somethin' on it?"

His eyes light up. "Yeah!"

In the two hours since I arrived, the doctors have figured out that Arlo has a small break in his right ankle. They think it will heal fine but he'll need follow-ups as he grows to make sure he hasn't caused any damage to the growth plates, and he'll have this cast for six weeks or so. Finley and Jaxson are all signed off and ready to go home, but nobody seems to have made any kind of decision on where they're going just yet. I'm guessing they'll be heading home with Charlie and Renee when they eventually leave, although there's no sign of that happening right now.

The Swans have been here since yesterday afternoon. Angela is holding down the fort at home with Danny and has been responsible for bringing fresh clothes and toiletries, and as of this morning, she's also watching Max now he's been given a clean bill of health by the veterinarian he was taken to yesterday.

Everyone is doing great—except Bella.

My eyes dance toward the window overlooking the corridor, but her room is just out of sight. Charlie and Renee are with her now. There's a two-person limit and I won't deny that it kills me I'm not able to stay by her bedside like I want to, but Charlie is obviously suspicious. He didn't wait for me to leave Bella earlier and I haven't been able to speak to him since then. He and Renee were called to Bella's room a few minutes later and that's where they've been ever since.

"You look like you haven't slept a wink in days, EC," Little Grandma tuts as she sits in the seat beside me, Arlo distracted by Benjamin's arrival with the markers he went to buy when we found out Arlo would be getting a cast.

Blowing out a quiet breath, I peer down at Little Grandma and admit, "I couldn't sleep last night. I'll sleep later, I just...needed to get here and see that they're all okay."

She hums, reaching over to pat my leg. "They're going to be just fine. I have every faith in our girl to get through this."

Her sheer confidence bolsters me. I manage a small smile as I squeeze her hand and tell myself she has to be right.

The hours pass by in a mind-numbing cycle of trying to keep the boys fed and entertained while fielding their questions about their mom and why they can't see her. Renee and Charlie don't want them to see Bella right now—I'm not so sure that it's the right decision, but it isn't mine to make. So, instead, I do my best to keep them busy. People come and go throughout the day. Friends, family, a couple of the women from Renee's crochet group. Sullivan spends some time with us before deciding to head back to my place to get some sleep. Just after he leaves, Jane Samuels stops by with Lakely, which cheers Arlo up for all of a half hour before they, too, head out and he's bored again and resumes pestering his brothers.

When they all get whiny shortly after noon, I push Arlo to the cafeteria in his wheelchair with Jaxson and Finley trailing along beside him. They shovel jello and ice cream into their mouths as though they've never eaten before, then giggle like the carefree little boys they should always be when they squeeze onto Arlo's chair and cling to each other as I jog through any empty corridors we find on our way back to Bella's floor.

"You boys are crazy," I tell them with a fond grin, but it slips from my face when Finley lets out a loud gasp and takes off down the corridor. However, my amusement quickly returns when I round the corner.

The woman whose legs Finley's arms are wrapped around needs no introduction.

**~ oOo ~**

The clock ticks ominously, the low hum of activity filtering through the door. My eyes remain locked on the excited faces through the window as Jaxson, Finley, Arlo, and Danny play with their Lego on the floor. Benjamin left to go home and get a shower, but he's back now and has parked himself in a seat across the room.

"Are you okay, buddy?" I ask as Arlo wobbles his way over to me.

He shakes his head, huffing a frustrated breath at the crutches he's still learning to use. The doctor gave them to him so he could be less reliant on the wheelchair, but so far, he's pretty much a liability on them. Carefully scooping him onto my lap and setting aside the crutches, I ruffle his hair and manage a faint smile.

"What's up?"

Glancing toward the door, he leans into my chest. "When can we go see her?"

Frowning, I rest my cheek against his head. "She'll be in soon, buddy. Nana and Papa just want to catch her up on everythin'." The door swings open, all of us looking up, but it's just one of the pediatric nurses checking on Arlo. She leaves, but Arlo remains on my lap with his head pillowed on my chest. His brothers turn their attention back to the tower they're building until the door swings open again, only this time, Renee and Charlie step inside closely followed by a short lady I easily recognize.

Smiling, I adjust Arlo and stand with him on my hip, chuckling when I'm pulled into a tight, warm hug.

"I feel like I know you already, Easy."

"I know exactly what you mean, Nanny Jude."

Jude is probably just a shade over five feet tall with curly gray hair, bright hazel eyes, and an infectious smile that brightens even this dim hospital waiting room. Her neon yellow cardigan helps, of course. I've spoken to her a handful of times when she and the boys have been Facetiming. She's sweet and funny and obviously adores Bella and the boys as if they're her own, which makes her good people, in my opinion.

Turning her attention to Arlo, she gently tweaks his nose and laughs when Jaxson and Finley run over to cling to her skirt. "Oh, how I've missed you boys."

It's clear to see they've missed her just as much. As she sits in a chair beside me, they all attempt to monopolize Jude as they pepper her with questions. She takes it all in stride, kissing each of their heads and reminding them to take turns talking.

However, Jaxson's words make her snort with a wry little smile. "But you're scared of planes, Nanny Jude! How did you get here? Did you have to swim?"

"No, sweetheart, I didn't swim. I got a plane just like you and your momma did. Nothing and nobody was keeping me from my little loves when I heard you'd been in an accident."

My stomach knots, the boys' good spirits dampening a little with the reminder of why we're here.

Jude frowns, rubbing the wrinkle between Jaxson's brows. "Hey, now, what's that look for?"

"I wanna see Momma," he mumbles, twisting the fabric of her skirt between his fingers.

Looking up at Charlie and Renee, who shake their heads minutely, she sighs. "Can I tell you something? You're all big boys, so I know you can handle it."

"You can tell us, Nanny," Arlo tells her quickly, wriggling around in my lap so he can face her.

Her tone serious now, she tells them all to listen carefully. "Momma is poorly right now, you know that. She's still sleeping so the doctors can make sure she's well enough and won't be in pain when she wakes up. Don't you want Momma to feel good when she finishes her nap?"

Eyeing each other, the boys finally nod. "But she's taking a _really _long nap, Nanny," Finley whines. "When's she gonna wake up? I want to see her. I want to go home."

His voice trails off into whimpers before fat tears roll over his cheeks and off his chin. Tugging him onto the knee not occupied by his little brother, I hug Finley to me and let him cry into my shirt until his eyes are dry and his breaths aren't so choppy. Everyone's emotions are running high, so I'm not surprised by his meltdown. He, Jaxson, and Arlo have been extraordinarily brave. There'll probably be a fair few more tears before everything is said and done.

Ignoring the eyes on us—Charlie and Renee are both watching with varying degrees of confusion and suspicion while Jude simply smiles—I cup his face in my hands and wipe his cheeks with my thumbs. "Better, buddy?"

He nods, wiping his nose on the back of his arm. "Uh huh."

"Good. Now, Nanny Jude is right. Momma is taking a nap, and when she wakes up, hopefully she'll feel a whole lot better."

I don't get a chance to say anything else, my heart taking off at a sprint as Rosalie throws open the door to the waiting area, her eyes wide and chest heaving with big breaths.

"What is it, Rose, honey? Renee asks, grabbing her daughter's hands. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Rosalie breathes, her glassy eyes underscored by a burgeoning smile. "Bella's awake."

There's a scramble of activity then, everybody wanting to get down the hall to room 1506. When we reach Bella's room, nobody needs telling that Renee is going in. A doctor and two nurses are also inside, so there isn't enough room for more than just Renee right now. It kills me to stay outside, but just being able to see Bella's glazed gray gaze as her eyes wheel around the room is a massive relief.

She's awake. She's alive, and now she's awake.

Shifting in my arms, Finley reaches out and rests his palm on the window. "Momma…" he whispers.

Squeezing him tighter, I press a kiss against the side of his head and swallow the lump in my throat. "She's going to be okay, buddy."

She's going to be okay.

**~ oOo ~**

Unlike the few times I've seen people wake up from comas in movies, Bella's reentry into wakefulness is slow and relatively undramatic. After taking their turns to sit with her, each of her siblings head home to get some rest now they're more confident that she'll be making a full recovery. It's still touch and go as to whether she's sustained any lasting damage, but the signs are good.

A few hours pass with a steady stream of medical personnel entering Bella's room while I'm stuck out in the hall. The boys eventually get their turn, leaving a little while later when Bella has drifted back off to sleep, smiles on their faces and relief loosening their previously-hunched shoulders .

"Do you feel better now?" I ask Jaxson, cupping his face as he leans into my leg.

"Yeah," he breathes. "It's kinda creepy. She can't talk yet so she's just kinda looking around."

"That's normal," Kirsten says softly, carrying a pitcher of water toward us. Pausing outside the door, she offers the boys a smile. "But do you know what? It'll help her feel better if you keep talking to her whenever you visit. She can hear you just fine, and she can feel it when you hold her hand."

Jaxson's little face sets with determination. "I'm gonna talk to her lots and hold her hand all the time so she can get better faster."

"That sounds great, hon."

Renee holds the door for Kirsten as she steps out into the corridor, her eyes dry but red. "All right, boys. Shall we get you home for some dinner?" As they all start protesting at once, she gently hushes them and crouches. "We need to get Nanny Jude all set up in the guest bedroom, too. She's had a very long day and could probably do with some help, right?"

Jude is a good sport. She nods, plastering a serious look on her face, and fakes an overly-loud yawn. I stifle my grin as she says, "I really could do with some help unpacking my suitcase, if anybody feels up to it. It's awful heavy, what with all the presents I brought with me…"

At 'presents,' the boys are sold.

"I'll help you, Nanny Jude," Arlo tells her happily, his crutches clicking on the floor as he makes his way over to her. He's getting a little better, a little more coordinated, as the day wears on.

"Well, that's kind of you, Arlo! I think we could use two more helpers, though. Can you think of any?"

"We'll do it!" Finley offers, playing right into her hands, and Jaxson agrees.

Smiling big and wide for the first time all day, Renee leans into Charlie's side and closes her eyes as he kisses her head. My chest aches, my arms empty without Bella to hold. Charlie and Renee's easy intimacy makes me long for things I can't have just yet. The time to tell Bella how I feel is nearing, her parents' inevitable explosion along with it.

Turning her gaze to me, Renee raises her eyebrows. "Do you want to keep Bella company while we take the boys home?"

Attempting to sound less desperate than I feel, I nod and say, "I'd be happy to."

Charlie is noticeably silent, his eyes on me as Renee rounds up the boys and heads for the elevators. Glancing over her shoulder at her husband, she cocks her head. "Are you coming?"

He smiles and nods, his hands in his pockets. "I'm right behind you. I'm going to check that the doctors have all our details before we leave in case they need to get ahold of us."

"Okay. Meet you at home. See you later, EC."

"Bye, Rae," I say, my tone carefully neutral even as nerves flip my stomach. Charlie isn't loitering to speak to the doctors.

His hand lands on my shoulder, squeezing _hard _just as Renee and the boys round the corner. His eyes are dark and narrowed as I sigh and meet his gaze, straightening my shoulders and readying myself for a long-overdue conversation.

"I think it's time you and I had a chat, EC."

* * *

**Yep, so that's where we're at. The boys are mostly okay and it _looks _like the jig may be up for Bella and Edward's secret *eek!***

**Next update: Wednesday**

**Important notice: Fandoms for Hope & Relief (on Facebook) is pulling together once again to raise money for the people and animals affected by the devastating bush fires in Australia. If you're interested in donating to this very worthy cause, be it monetarily or with a story, beta services, banner making, etc, please join the group on Facebook or come find me and and I'll point you in the right direction. All the details for sign-ups and donations and whatnot are there in that group.**

**As always, huge "thank you's" need to go to the wonderful ladies who help me out with this story, particularly my good friend **annaharding **because she's always so darn helpful and great at talking me off the ledge. Can't wait to see you again later this year!**

**And big hugs to all of you wonderful people taking the time to read and review. When there's other bullshit going on, it's your reviews and sweet words that get me through the writer's block and the 'can I do this?' wobbles.**


	28. Chapter 28 - Edward

**You can thank a few of the ladies in my FB reader group for this early update. A certain Kimberley's post in there reminded me that I'm not going to have time to post it tomorrow, so you get it now, instead ;)**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Eight**

_**Edward**_

The coffees we purchase in the cafeteria have stopped steaming by the time Charlie blows out a long breath and fixes his dark stare on my face.

"I'm only going to ask you this once, and I want an honest answer."

I already know what he's going to ask, so I skip the part where we pretend otherwise and set my drink down. "I really care about her, Charlie. This isn't a fling or a one-night-stand kind of deal."

If not for the situation we're in, I'd find it hard not to laugh at the way his eyebrows leap toward his hairline.

Raking a hand through my hair, I sigh. "I respect you enough to tell you the truth. You're my best friend, Charlie. You've been there for me ever since the day I rocked up here with a bigger ego than Arlo."

This gets a slight smirk out of him, but he remains silent.

"Look, I don't know what you want me to say here—"

"I want you to say that I'm imagining things when I see you looking at my baby girl like she hung the moon, EC!"

_There we go. _Fighting a smile, I feel relief rushing through my veins. If he's shouting, he's just mad. It's when he's silent you've gotta worry with Charlie.

Increasingly red-faced, he throws his hands in the air and shakes his head. "Shit, EC. You're like her _uncle_, for Christ sake."

It's not the first time he's said that. Screwing my face up, I firmly tell him 'no.' "You may see it like that, but I, _we_, don't. Bella doesn't see me as her uncle, and I certainly don't see her as my niece." Even the idea of it makes me shudder. "We know there's a bit of an age gap—"

"_A_ _bit_?" Charlie sputters. "Eleven years is not _a bit_, EC. When you met, you were eighteen and Bella was _seven_. She wasn't even in second grade yet when you were a newlywed."

"Bella isn't seven years old anymore. She's more than old enough to decide who she loves."

I can immediately see that my choice of words was the wrong one.

His eyes narrow, his voice eerily soft. "Who she loves?"

Swallowing hard, I rub the back of my neck. I wanted Bella to be the first to know that I love her, but Sullivan knows now, and if telling Charlie helps him accept this, accept _us_, isn't it worth it? My heart thumps hard enough I'm pretty sure he can hear it. There's no doubt he sees the way my throat contracts when I swallow again before nodding, though.

"Yes, who she loves." _Here goes nothin'. _"I love your daughter, Charlie. I didn't think I was capable of falling in love again and it definitely wasn't something I expected or even wanted. I wasn't looking for this, but here I am, stupidly in love with a woman who has no idea and desperately hoping my best friend can look past the age difference to see that I'm happy, _we're _happy."

His jaw ticks, his dark eyes stormy as his fingers drum the tabletop. I don't know what I was expecting, really, but his continued silence isn't it.

"I don't like it."

My stomach falls to my feet. "Charlie—"

"No, EC, you've had your chance to talk. I've had the mother of shitty weekends. I spent half of yesterday thinking I was going to lose my daughter..."

I flinch at his unsaid words. _And you know what that feels like. _Reminding myself that he's not himself right now, I take a deep breath and try to put myself in his shoes.

"I can't deal with this right now." Standing abruptly, he draws the attention of the few other people sitting at tables around us. The legs of his chair squeak as they scrape against the linoleum, his muttered curse loud in the otherwise quiet room. "I want you to go home. I'll call someone else to come sit with Bella."

Sighing, I lift myself to my feet. "That's not necessary, Charlie. I'm already here, I can—"

"If you don't leave, I'll just have the nurses change the room to family only."

With his parting words, he makes sure that I know I'm—at least temporarily—not included in that category. I wince as he turns and strides away, tugging at my hair because I know that could have gone better. I expected his anger, but I didn't expect the sense of betrayal that came with it.

After tossing our untouched coffees, I head outside into the late-evening sunshine and tip my head back to the sky, reaching for the cigarettes in my pocket. I've been trying to give up, knowing Bella doesn't allow it near the boys, but stress always has me searching for the false calm smoking lends me, even just temporarily.

When the first spiral of smoke drifts up into the air, my lungs full but my chest aching, I start walking toward home and let myself hope that Bella will make a full recovery and Charlie will gain some perspective overnight.

**~ oOo ~**

When I dial Renee's number the next morning, I half expect her to ignore it; I can't imagine Charlie keeping our conversation to himself.

"_Easy!"_

My nervous frown turns upside down at the unexpected voice. "Jaxson! Good morning, buddy. How're you today?"

"_Good. Nana made us pancakes." _Whispering, he adds, "_They're not as good as yours, but they're all right."_

Chuckling, I watch the waves roll up to the shore before dancing away, the balmy morning breeze heaven on my skin. "Don't tell Nana that or you'll make her sad."

"_Nah, I won't." _I hear Charlie's muffled voice, my pulse speeding up slightly, before Jaxson giggles and returns to the phone. "_I've gotta go, Easy. Nana and Papa are takin' us to see Momma at the hospital. She's doin' better so they said we can go hang out with her again. Are you comin'?"_

_I wish I could._

"I don't know, bud, I—"

"We'll be there, Jax!" Sullivan shouts _right in my damn ear_, shooting me a smirk when I give him a shove.

"'_Kay, cool. See you later, bye!"_

Jaxson is gone before I can make up an excuse for my not being there today, which leaves me glaring at Sullivan. "What are you doing? I told you I can't go today, not until Charlie's cooled off."

Rolling his eyes, Sullivan shovels cereal into his mouth, little pieces of Lucky Charms flying out as he speaks. "Do you weally fink stayin' away is gonna prove you love her?"

"Chew, swallow, _then _talk, Sully," I remind him only semi-patiently, frustration and worry having kept me up all night. Tiredness makes my limbs heavy, but I can't deny there's merit to Sullivan's words. "He told me to stay away."

Shrugging, Sullivan plonks his ass on one of the loungers. "I'm just sayin', what better way is there to see how serious you are about Bella than telling you to back off when she's in the hospital? If it were _me_ all gaga over his hottest daughter—" he snorts when the only thing within reach to throw at him is a half-deflated beach ball which doesn't make it anywhere near him, "I'd be sitting in that waiting room every day until Charlie gets over his issues."

I had hoped my friendship with Charlie would negate all this, but the more I think about it, the more I think Sullivan could be right. All I'll accomplish by staying away from Bella is making Charlie think I don't care about her as much as I said I do. With renewed hope and a surge of energy, I lift myself out of the seat I've been occupying since silly o'clock this morning.

I'm going to prove that I love her even if it kills me, which it just might if Charlie hasn't cooled off after his fit yesterday.

Sullivan smirks, still working on his cereal.

"Are you coming with me?"

"Nah, I'll stay here a bit longer. Text me if Charlie doesn't kill you and I'll come see the sprogs later."

"All right." Unconcerned with Sullivan's plans, I snatch my keys off the kitchen counter and set off, hesitating before turning away from the road that will lead me to the hospital.

I have a couple things I need to do first.

**~ oOo ~**

When I finally reach the window looking into Bella's room, a smile spreads across my face. The boys are all in there with her, Renee perched on the edge of the seat with Arlo on her lap and the twins on a chair on Bella's other side. Her eyes are closed, but there's a tiny smile on her face as Arlo appears to be drawing something on her arm with his fingertip.

"She's doing better."

"_Holy_—Jude."

Jude smirks, looping her arm through mine as my racing heart slowly steadies. "Sorry, did I startle you?"

"You know you did." Huffing a laugh, I rake my free hand through my hair and peer down at her. "How are you?"

"Not too bad, I can't complain. The Swans are great hosts."

Grinning, I nod and return my gaze to Bella and the boys. It seems to be Jaxson's turn to draw on his momma's arm now. What I wouldn't give to go in and see what they're up to.

"You know, she told me about you."

At that, my head whips around. Jude almost guffaws at the no-doubt comically wide-eyed look on my face. Reaching up to pat my beard-covered jaw, she shakes her head. "You young ones think us oldies are stupid, don't you? I was already getting suspicious, then Finley told me about their sleepovers with you and I knew _something _was going on." Twinkly-eyed, she admits, "Plus there was Bella's giddy smile every time I mentioned you. I've never seen her look like that."

Shaking my head, I rub the back of my neck and curse my ears as they heat up to what I'm sure is a delightful salmon color. "Jude…"

"I won't tell anybody, don't worry."

"Charlie already knows."

Jude's brows furrow a little, but her smile widens. "Well, well. So _that's _what they were talking about." Looking around, she quickly tugs me down the hall toward the waiting room. We're alone, for now. "How did he find out?"

"I told him."

Her eyebrows leap up her forehead. "Brave boy. I take it he wasn't impressed?"

I snort. "Not even a little bit. He told me to stay away. Sullivan thinks it's his way of seeing if I'm serious about her."

Jude nods slowly before aiming her bright smile my way. "He might be right. I also believe you might have more people in your corner than you think."

"What do you mean? Who else knows?"

"Well, they don't _know_, but the boys are very much fans of yours." Yeah, at that, I can't help but grin. She shakes her head with a light laugh. "Renee, too. I heard her giving Charlie a telling off this morning. I didn't hear what it was about, but I wouldn't be surprised if he's clued her in."

Before she can continue, the door swings open and three excited little boys come stampeding in. Well, two come stampeding in. The third hobbles in on his crutches and grins wide when he spots me. "Easy!"

Renee follows them into the room. Much to my relief, she's wearing a huge smile as she heads straight for me, tucking an arm around my waist and pressing a kiss to my cheek. "I need to have a word with you," she whispers, only to me, before speaking louder to the boys. "How about you three tell Nanny Jude all about your visit with Momma while I take EC to go see her?"

Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo are only too happy to fill Jude in on their time with Bella, so Renee eagerly tugs me out into the corridor. We only make it a few feet down the hall before she stops abruptly and throws her arms around me.

"I'm sorry Charlie was an ass yesterday. He's overwhelmed and worried about Bella, but that doesn't give him a pass to be an asshole."

That's Renee. She doesn't sugarcoat.

"It's fine, Rae. I get it. It's been a stressful couple of days and finding out about me and Bella probably didn't help."

"You don't have to be nice about him, hon," Renee tells me with a wry smile. "Believe me, he knows he messed up. He'll be apologizing when he gets here." Her blue eyes suddenly fill with tears. "Oh gosh, I'm sorry," she laughs, pulling a pack of Kleenex from her pocket. "I'm just happy for you both, they're happy tears."

After blowing her nose and drying her eyes, Renee tugs me over to a little row of seats against the wall. Holding my hand in both of hers, she looks strikingly similar to her daughter. If their eyes and hair coloring were the same, they'd be scarily alike. "I've watched you struggle through the last few years without an end to your loneliness in sight. We've always tried to make you feel like one of us and make up for you being so far from your family. I don't suppose we've helped all that much—"

"You have." I can't _not _interrupt to put her right. Squeezing her hands, I hope she can hear the sincerity in my voice. "You've all helped more than you know. I'll never be able to express how grateful I am, to all of you. My blood relatives might be far away, but you Swans are just as much my family as they are."

Tearful once more, Renee laughs and apologizes for crying again. "I'm so glad you feel that way. Charlie told me what he said yesterday, but I hope you know it was just his hot head talking. Your relationship with Bella aside, you'll always be our family, EC. This just makes it more official."

Relief rushes through my veins because I can hear the sincerity in her voice and see the genuine happiness in her eyes. It's no surprise to me that Charlie is struggling with this, but Renee is an ally I didn't anticipate. "The age gap, my connection to your family…"

Breathing a soft sigh, Renee smiles. "My daughter is as headstrong and intelligent as I always hoped she would be. She spent far too long putting up with that drip of a sperm donor—"

I can't help but laugh at that. 'A drip' is an understatement when it comes to the things I'd like to call the boys' father, and I only know a little about him.

"But I know she doesn't regret it, because she wouldn't have Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo if not for him. I think…" she pauses, eyeing me speculatively, before asking, "I think you can empathize with that?"

Slowly, I nod. I wish I hadn't lost years of my life with Kate, but without her, I'd never have had Willow—even just for those precious almost-six years. I can't bring myself to regret a thing that gave me my daughter. "I do."

Squeezing my hand, she continues. "I want her, and all my children, to be happy and healthy, but I also want them to know the same love that I have with Charlie. She didn't have it with Richard, but she could have it with you." Her eyes shine as she fights a mischievous smirk.

"You and Charlie, you're a lot alike, you know? He isn't kidding when he says you're like the brother he never had. You have the same drive, the same dogged determination and fierce intelligence. But you also have his vast capacity for love. _That _is why I'm not worried about you and Bella. I see you with her and the boys and I know they'll never want for love or support with you around."

My eyes burn as I act on impulse and pull her against my chest, sucking in a deep breath as she hugs me back with a light, surprised laugh. "Thank you, Rae," I croak, mortified by my body's reaction to her sweet words. Tears struggle to free themselves when she pulls back to pat my cheeks, her own eyes wet.

"No, thank _you_. I've seen how happy Bella and the boys have been these last couple of months and I know now that you've had a lot to do with that."

"She still doesn't know I love her," I admit quietly, still wondering, still nervous of how she'll take it. I was already worried, but with the accident comes a whole new slew of concerns.

"Have faith in her, EC. The way she looks at you...it's obvious _now _that it's not just how a friend looks at another friend. I don't know how I missed it before."

Approaching footsteps capture both of our attention. My palms get a little clammy when I look up and meet Charlie's guarded gaze. As he comes to a stop, his hands shoved in his pockets and his wife eyeing him with raised brows, he sighs.

Before he can launch into his apology, I stand and clasp his shoulder. "It's all right, Charlie. I get it."

Cocking an eyebrow, he reaches up to squeeze my arm, the smallest of smiles lifting his mustache. "If you promise not to hurt my daughter or grandsons, I'll promise not to slug you over the head and bury you where nobody will ever find you. It's only because I know you and I know you're a good guy, daughter stealing aside, that I haven't done it already."

Snorting, Renee mutters, "Nice apology, Charlie."

"And I don't want any of that," waving a hand, he grimaces, "PDA—is that what the youngsters are calling it these days?—in front of me. I'm accepting, but I have limits."

As I chuckle and nod, he relaxes and pulls me into a man-hug complete with back-slaps that are a _little _harder than usual, but I get their meaning. He's just bringing his point home and I can appreciate that. "I promise. Those boys and their momma mean the world to me."

"Then we have something in common." Stepping back to draw his wife under one arm, Charlie offers me the smallest of smiles.

**~ oOo ~**

With Charlie's hesitant acceptance, I'm finally able to go in and see Bella without the weight of our secret hanging over my head. She's asleep when the door swings shut behind me, but just being close to her is enough for now. Before sinking into the worn, cracked-leather seat beside her bed, I wind my fingers into the gaps between Bella's and press a kiss to her forehead. "Hey, short stuff."

The neck brace is gone now they're confident there's no damage to her spine, but the bruises are angry red and purple splashes against the honey of her skin, her cuts angry but slowly healing.

Settling into the seat, I let my mind wander to all the things I'm neglecting by being here. None are important enough to pull me away from Bella's side.

A light tap on the door eventually pulls me from my thoughts, though.

"Hey," Kristen says softly with her signature smile. "The doctor wants two-hourly checks."

"Don't let me get in your way."

It's a strangely familiar dance as I get out of the chair so Kristen can get to the machines to take down all the necessary information for Bella's chart. We've done this before, only last time, it was my daughter in the bed.

"All right, I'm all done. I'll get out of your way, Mr. Cullen," she says a few minutes later

Gazing out of the window at the buildings obscuring my view of the ocean, I try to find words. "You can call me 'Edward.' I think we're past the formalities at this point."

I can almost hear the smile in her voice when she agrees. "I think you're right."

Before she can leave, I spin on the balls of my feet and quietly call her name. She cocks her head, pausing just inside the door. She's barely changed in the six years since I met her. There are more grays amongst her ginger locks and a few more wrinkle lines around her eyes and mouth, but Kristen still has the same kind smile as she patiently waits for me to speak.

"Thank you. I never...I never thanked you for everything you did for me, for Willow." Willow's name comes out as a whisper, but I can see the pain that slides into her eyes and weights her shoulders.

"Thanking me isn't necessary, Mr.—_Edward_. Taking care of people is my job. I'm only sorry that…"

Her words trail off, but I hear the unsaid ones anyway.

_That we couldn't save her._

"Me, too. But I'm grateful that she had you watching out for her. It means a lot." Glancing down at Bella as her hand twitches on the bed, her eyes fluttering like she might be about to wake up, I breathe a quiet sigh. "I never thought I'd be here again, but I'm glad you're here to look after Bella, and that I got a chance to thank you."

Tucking a few stray strands of hair behind her ear, she slips the clipboard with Bella's chart back onto the end of the bed. "Well, you're welcome. It's my pleasure. I'm off for the next two weeks but if you're not here when I get back, which I hope you won't be and I mean that in the nicest way possible, take care of yourself. I've never met anybody who deserves happiness as much as you."

Of course, the first time Bella sees me after her accident, my ears are flaming red and I'm uncomfortable as shit, tugging at my hair as Kristen laughs at me and lets herself out of the room.

Turning back to Bella, I do a double-take and choke on a breath, my heart slamming against my ribs.

Her eyes are open, a single tear tumbling over her cheek as she smacks her dry lips. Looking around, I spot the cup of water with the tiny sponge Renee was using to wet her lips yesterday. Rounding the bed to grab it, I gently press the damp sponge against her mouth, careful to avoid the still-healing cut in her lower lip, and let her suck a little of the water from it, smiling when she closes her eyes and hums.

"Better, huh?"

Opening her eyes again, Bella wriggles her hand until I get the idea and head back around to the chair, twisting our fingers together as my ass hits the cracked leather cushion. Suddenly overcome with emotion, I croak, "You scared the shit outta me, short stuff."

Narrowing her eyes, Bella licks her lips and tests out her vocal chords. "I'm s-sorry."

Her voice is raspy and soft. Leaning a little closer, I press a lingering kiss against her forehead, breathing her in and listening to the quiet beep of her heart monitor telling me she's still here.

"Boys?"

"They're getting ice cream with your mom and dad." I grin faintly, running the pad of my thumb over her cheek. "They hate the hospital but they _love _having ice cream on tap."

"I bet," she laughs, sending herself into a coughing fit.

"Shit." Grabbing the water again, I help her drink a few sips once she's caught her breath, a touch of disappointment slipping through my bloodstream when it becomes clear that just these few moments have drained her energy. Her eyes flutter closed, but the soft 'stay' she whispers keeps me in the chair.

"I'm not goin' anywhere, Bella," I murmur, lifting her hand to my lips and watching as she succumbs to sleep.

**~ oOo ~**

Over the next couple of days, Bella gradually spends more time awake and less time sleeping. The neurologists spend a lot of time coming in and out of her room trying to ascertain how much, if any, damage was caused by her head slamming into the frame of the car. So far, she's doing great. She's a little slow on the uptake at times and she's not quite herself, but she's getting there.

Baby steps.

We also learn the cause of the accident. The other driver involved, a nineteen-year-old kid, comes by on crutches with a guilty expression on his face and a bouquet of flowers half-squished under his arm. He was texting a friend, he admits, telling us he was running late meeting some of his buddies at the gym, so he thought he'd text to update them and lost concentration. Apologizing profusely, he only avoids my fist meeting his bruised face because Bella is squeezing the crap out of my hand.

With grace I can only admire, she silently eyes him for a moment, finally breathing a shaky sigh and calmly, but firmly, thanking him for his apology before telling him to get the hell out of her room.

The police also pay her a visit to get her recount of the accident. They insist on speaking to the boys even though they can't offer much of interest because they weren't paying all that much attention themselves, as little kids tend not to. With that out of the way, Bella is free to rest and recover.

It takes a couple of days of thinly-veiled comments and sly smiles from her sisters for Bella to figure out that we're not a secret anymore. Eyeing her dad as he leaves the room on Monday afternoon, she licks her lips and turns her head on the pillow to face me. "He knows, doesn't he?"

My stomach knots, my pulse racing. This isn't how I wanted this to go. There are far more romantic ways and places to tell the woman who owns your heart that you love her, but my time is running out fast. Shifting closer, I hold out my hand and smile when she quickly takes it, twisting our fingers together. She was able to have a proper wash for the first time this morning, her skin soft and now smelling faintly of her citrus body lotion. I gently bring our raised hands up and kiss her knuckles before sucking in a deep breath.

"He knows," I admit softly. "They all know. Charlie, Rae, Ben, Rose, and Ev…" My smile turns into a smirk. "Jude wants to congratulate you for landing me."

She snorts, a pretty blush infusing her cheeks. "How did they take it?"

"Your dad is...on the fence. Ben is following his lead." Benjamin doesn't frighten me, but he cut an imposing figure when he pulled the big-brother routine and reminded me that he's no stranger to putting guys in their place for hurting his sisters. I know that all too well, having been the one to go with Charlie to bail Benjamin out of jail after he broke Everly's ex's nose a few years back.

"And Mom?"

"She's happy for us," I tell her, pleased when a relieved grin takes over her face. "Everly says she'd guessed something was going on because the boys have been talking about us spending so much time together, and Rosalie suspected you were seeing _someone _because she found a man's t-shirt when she was watching the boys the other day." Lifting an eyebrow, I purse my lips. "Can I assume the Gators tee I've been looking for is said t-shirt?"

Bella laughs quietly, squeezing our twined fingers. "Sorry. I wore it home the other day and it's so nice to sleep in, I thought I'd keep it safe for you."

Huffing a chuckle, I shake my head. "You can keep it, short stuff. I trust you to keep it safe for me." Sobering a little, I try to muster all the courage necessary to get me through this next part.

It's been a long time since I've put myself out there at the mercy of somebody else. Bella knows I care about her and she knows I think she's worth whatever discomfort our relationship will cause until everyone gets used to the idea of us, but she doesn't know that my heart beats for her and those three little boys she birthed; that I'd do anything, _be _anything they need me to be; or that I'm completely and overwhelmingly in love with her.

It's about time that changed.

"Bella, I need to tell you—"

The door flies open, hitting the wall with a thud. The adrenaline that had begun to course through my veins melts away again, Arlo thudding into the room on his crutches with Jude fondly rolling her eyes at him from the doorway. Like Renee, she's an ally I wasn't expecting. The last couple of days have been full of waiting, waiting, and more waiting. That time needs to be filled with something. Usually, the boys fill the silence with their chatter, but once they fall asleep, it's time for the grown-ups to talk and for me to learn tidbits about what brought Bella back to Florida.

_Laughing humorlessly, Jude shakes her head and runs her fingers through Arlo's hair. He fell asleep on her lap a few minutes ago, his long day catching up with him. Renee dropped all three boys here at the hospital just after lunchtime before heading to In The Bay for a few hours. She's going to swing by and pick them up on her way home so they can have dinner and get to bed, but I can see Arlo sleeping right through. By all accounts, he's barely slept since the accident. It doesn't surprise me that he's finally caving to his exhaustion with Jude lightly scratching his head with her blunt nails, the radio playing quietly in the corner._

"_Hasn't she told you about their break-up?"_

_Frowning, I rake a hand through my hair. "We haven't really talked about it."_

"_Then I don't want to overstep by sharing things that aren't mine to share, but I _will _tell you this, just to stop you pulling all that lovely hair out."_

_My ears get hot as she winks at me. "You're a mean lady, Jude," I grumble half-heartedly._

"_Yeah, yeah." Taking a moment to gather her thoughts, she smiles at Arlo's snuffly snores before meeting my gaze again. "Bella and Richard were already separated when she found out she was pregnant with Arlo. She gave him a second chance to be the father he promised he'd be, and he screwed up again. I think she went into it with a guarded heart, expecting him to let her down. She's had that guard up ever since, but with you, I don't see it."_

_Relief and gratefulness flood my body. Blowing out a long breath, I lift myself from the squeaky chair and press a kiss to her cheek. "Thank you, Jude."_

I'm pulled out of my memory by Arlo tapping my knee for a lift up onto the bed. "Help, please."

"Sure, buddy. Here you go." Once he's settled on the bed beside Bella, I offer Jude my seat and head for the door. As much as I want to spend time with Bella, Jude's time is far more limited. She offers me a grateful smile and takes the chair next to the bed.

Just because I can, I lean in and press a quick but firm kiss to the top of Bella's head before giving Arlo the same treatment and leaving the room with a promise to return later. Down in the cafeteria, I grab a cup of crap coffee and sit my ass on one of the hard plastic chairs, figuring I can use the time to answer a few business emails and check in with my team.

My preoccupation doesn't stop me compulsively checking my watch to see how soon is _too soon_ to return to Bella.

* * *

**Next chapter: Sunday**

**If you're interested in my chapter images, teasers, or anything like that, they're all exclusive to my FB reader group now. Come just me in CiaraShayee's Subconscious for all the fun stuff. Everyone is welcome!**

**As always, huge thanks to **annaharding** for all the hard work she puts into helping me with this. She's an absolute star and I owe her so much more than an A/N *mwah***


	29. Chapter 29 - Bella

**A bunch of you were right**—**Charlie _did_ get his head out of his ass (with Renee's help) and accept it, even though he's a little wary of the whole situation at the moment. Just remember that he sees Easy as a pseudo little brother and you'll probably understand his hesitation a little more.  
**

**Somebody asked if Jackson Bay is fictional, and the answer is yes, it is. I made it up for the purposes of this story. It's set an hour or so outside Jacksonville and sits right on the coast. I hope that helps? Also, ****just a friendly reminder that if you're looking for my chapter images, teasers, or anything like that, they're all exclusive to my FB reader group now. Come just me in CiaraShayee's Subconscious for all the fun stuff. Everyone is welcome!**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Nine**

_**Bella**_

"...and that's you, and me, and Jax, and Finn, and Easy, and—"

"Whoa, kiddo," I laugh, stifling a wince because laughing hurts my bruised sternum, but the boys get upset when they think I'm in pain. Arlo's cheeks flush fire-truck-red as he halts his rambling speech. "Take a deep breath before you pass out, okay?"

Sucking in a big breath, he flashes me a grin and nods. "'Kay, Momma. But look, Max is here, and Nana and Papa, and Uncle Benji and Aunt Ang." He continues pointing to the stick figures on the paper, pointing out almost everybody he knows here in Jackson Bay as well as Jude and a couple of his old friends from nursery back in England.

Content just to listen to him talk, I cuddle him as close as I dare and soak him in, breathing in his apples and pear shampoo and revelling in the softness of his hair between my fingers. The last week has been painfully slow as my strength has started to return bit by bit. We're now on day twelve after the accident and I'm finally able to stand unaided, although I am a little wobbly, and I can make my arms move enough to hug my boys. It's killed me not being able to snuggle my babies and comfort them when they've needed me.

Thankfully, they've got a great support system in place. My family has been beyond amazing. We've had friends stopping by for the last week and a half with food, gifts for the boys, flowers for me, and offers of help with Max. Luckily, our floofy beast is perfectly happy staying with my brother, so at least I don't have to worry about him. As much as he's a pain in the ass at times, I miss Max like crazy.

It makes me smile, remembering my hesitation when we first brought him home and Edward's assurance that I'd fall for him fast enough. He was right.

As Arlo jibber-jabbers on, my gaze wanders to the window between my room and the corridor. Edward is out there now with Dad, Benjamin, and Jude. They're all smiling and laughing, getting on like a house on fire. There aren't words to express how happy it makes me to see Jude slotting into my family so effortlessly, as if she's always been here. There have been a few awkward moments while we all adjust to everyone knowing about me and Edward, but overall, they've all been a steady mixture of supportive and teasing..

Now people know about us, our relationship feels real.

My sisters have taken the news in stride easier than I ever expected. Rosalie quietly told me that Edward is exactly the sort of man she's always pictured me ending up with; someone mature and secure in themselves and their career. "You've always struck me as someone who'd need an older man to balance you out," she said with a shrug when I laughed and asked what she meant. Everly...Everly loudly congratulated me on landing 'a Daddy,' which didn't go down well with Dad, who walked in just as she raised her hands for a high ten.

Mom is over the moon—she's told me as much a hundred times already. Dad is more hesitant, but still not as bad as I expected. We can appreciate how weird it must be for him, seeing his best friend-pseudo little brother dating his daughter, so it's easy to be patient with him. He'll take a while to come around but I haven't had the 'he's not right for you, you need to ditch him' speech he gave me after I introduced him to Richard. Incidentally, he was right, but I'll _never _tell him that. I'd never live it down. I guess it helps that he's seen the same things in Edward that I have, at least occasionally.

I've never felt more like a family than when Edward has helped me tuck the boys in at night or spent his meager breaks video-calling the boys just to watch them eat dinner or jibber-jabber about their days at school. I don't think it's always intentional, but he's a dad without actually being their dad. The developing bond between him, Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo is a beautiful thing to behold. Dad—and everybody else—has seen most of those things, too. Maybe not all of it, but Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo don't see the harm in telling Nana and Papa how 'Easy' tucked them in last night or raving to Benjamin about how he's teaching them soccer, all things that would have seemed innocent until they found out about me and Edward.

"Hey, can we come in?" Jude asks, poking her head into the room with Edward, Dad, and Benjamin right behind her.

"Sure."

Thanks to my now-less-critical state, I've been moved down the hall to a new room. This one doesn't have a visitor limit, thankfully. They all pile in, but Jude quickly explains they're not all staying.

"We're going to head off now and let you get some rest. It's been a long day." To Arlo, she adds, "Come on, little love. Shall we get you back to Nana and Papa's for dinner? Jaxson and Finley are waiting for us in the cafeteria with Auntie Everly."

"'Kay, Nanny Jude." Leaning up to kiss me on the tip of my nose, he grins. "See you tomorrow, Momma. Be good, 'kay?"

"How about _you _be good, and I'll see if we can go get some ice cream together tomorrow?"

"You'll come with me?" His eyebrows lift, his sweet smile widening. So far, I haven't made it further than the end of the corridor, but I'm determined to get more mobile so I can get home. Being in here is driving me crazy and the only way to get stronger is to keep building myself up. I can't do that stuck in this damn bed. Plus, my slow gait makes him feel better about being awkward on his 'wonky foot,' as he calls it. His brothers are all healed up and tearing around the hospital corridors while he has to limp along behind them. He hates it.

"I'll walk as far as I can and maybe get someone to bring a chair with us, in case my legs get too tired."

"Okay, that sounds fun. I'm gonna go tell Jax and Finn! See you tomorrow, Momma! Love you!"

"Bye, baby," I laugh, blowing him a kiss as he slips off the bed into his miniature wheelchair. Toward the end of the day, he's usually too tired to use his crutches, so we keep his loaned chair on hand just in case. "Love you, too!"

After saying 'bye' to Dad, Benjamin, and Jude, I'm left with Edward and his crooked grin as he sinks into the worn seat beside the bed.

"How are you feeling? Tired?"

"I'm always tired," I tell him for what has to be the thirtieth time this week. "Sitting around all day makes me more exhausted than working a late at Vaughn's."

He smirks, taking my hand and rubbing small circles over my knuckles with his thumb. The gentle motion makes me hum as I wriggle around to get comfy. "Did I tell you they hired someone to fill your position?"

"No, but if you get me their address, I'll be sure to send a sympathy note," I grumble, unable to resist smiling when his beautiful, rich laughter fills the room.

He really has no idea how much I adore him. This silly, sweet, complicated, and sometimes grumpy man has well and truly ruined me for all other men, and he has no clue.

My eyes sting with ridiculous, impending tears as I gaze at his face, watching him check his phone when it chimes. So handsome. My gaze roams over him while he's too distracted to notice, following the curve of his neck into his broad shoulders and muscular arms. Those arms have held me together when I've been emotional and in pain over the last few days. They've cradled Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo when I wasn't able to. The defined chest that draws my attention next has been a pillow for my sons and a place for me to cry when everything hurts and my recovery is too slow.

My mind wanders, because I know what that chest and those arms look like without the henley currently covering them and I miss seeing them. I miss the intimacy we had before I wound up in here. I miss falling asleep wrapped up in him and I miss being able to jump his sexy body.

"You're testing my restraint, short stuff," Edward rumbles, his voice gravelly as my eyes snap up to meet his, a blush heating my cheeks. His dark gaze and faint smirk tell me he knows exactly where my thoughts had wandered to. "I spent six years on my own but a couple months with you and I'm like a teenager again."

A delighted grin steals over my face. It still blows my mind that this gorgeous man wants _me_. I'm confident enough in myself to be able to say I'm relatively pretty and have a good figure, thanks to having three very active little boys and now a dog, but still. Edward is _Edward_, the hot guy I drooled over as a teenager and crushed on _hard_.

Now he's mine and everyone who really matters knows it.

"If it makes you feel better, I'm the same way," I offer, not quite able to squash my grin completely. However, it slips a little at the look on Edward's face as he reaches up to tug at his hair, refusing to meet my gaze. "What? Talk to me."

"This isn't going to be smooth or slick in any way whatsoever," he grumbles softly, seemingly to himself, before shaking his head and blowing a breath out through his nose. Only then does he look at me, curiosity and hesitance written all over his face. "We talked about my relationship with Kate. Is it...would you…"

My lips twitch toward a wider smile. "Would I mind sharing my horrendous dating history?"

Snorting, he squeezes our joined fingers and nods. "Pretty much. Sorry, there's no nice way to ask and this is the shittiest place for this conversation."

"Nah, it's okay. I'm not going to get upset and bawl on you over it," I tell him wryly. "I'm _way_ over it. The only feelings I have for Richard now are frustration and disbelief that I put up with his bullshit for so long." Twisting a little to get comfortable facing him, I offer Edward a genuine smile. "I met Richard during my freshers' week at university. He was a couple years ahead of me but we ended up with a bunch of mutual friends so we saw each other a lot, then he wouldn't quit asking me out so I eventually said 'yes' just to shut him up and ended up falling for him."

Saying it out loud now, knowing what I know and having spent the last decade growing as a person, I can't believe I ever fell for a man like Richard. He's selfish, immature, and a pigheaded douchebag. He has his good qualities, of course—I wouldn't have had children with him otherwise—but my youth and inexperience with relationships definitely made me naive. I stayed for too long and put up with too much. We weren't compatible, but I was stubborn and determined to make it work.

"It doesn't surprise me that he was a persistent asshole. I mean, you're _you_," Edward murmurs, obviously not enjoying the subject even though he was the one who brought it up. "But I guess I don't understand why you stayed so long."

"I was young, dumb, and I thought I was in love," I admit with a shrug, hating how foolish it makes me sound. "I thought we'd get through it and prove the doubters wrong. Lots of people warned me about his reputation but I just didn't see it for the longest time. Then we had Jax and Finn, and I was determined to make it work for their sake. 'It's just a rough patch,' 'being new parents tests every relationship,' and 'we just need to work harder' became my mantras. I even told myself him not caring about their surname was normal because it just didn't occur to me to think otherwise. We were never engaged, so I just figured it didn't really matter."

Kristen interrupts the conversation with a gentle knock on the door. "Hey, sorry to disturb you. I just need to check in before I leave for the night."

"That's fine," I tell her with a smile, glad of the brief respite from rehashing mistakes I'd rather forget. I'll never regret the boys, but if I could forget the years with Richard and just leave memories of my boys, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

When Kristen leaves, Edward rakes a hand through his hair and silently pleads with his eyes for me to continue and get everything out in the open.

"I found out I was pregnant with Lo three weeks after I broke up with Richard," I admit quietly. Jude and Mom are the only two people who knew that.

_Or so I thought_. Frowning, I realize Edward looks more guilty and less surprised by my admission.

"Jude actually told me that. She didn't say anything else, but she wanted me to be sure that I have nothing to worry about with you and Richard."

The mere idea of him having to worry about me _ever _getting back with Richard is enough to make me laugh, even though it hurts. Edward's smile is small but his eyes crinkle slightly in the corners.

"Handsome, you don't _ever _have to worry about Richard. He's no competition, okay?" Carefully twisting to swing my legs over the edge of the bed, I let go of his hand to cup his beard-covered jaw instead. His gaze is earnest and gentle as I lean in, resting our foreheads together and breathing in his woodsy, fresh-grass-scented aftershave. It's new, but I love it. Nerves scatter through my veins, worried anticipation pushing a shaky exhale from my lungs.

My mortality has been thrown into stark contrast. I don't want to wait another day to tell Edward how I feel about him, how I want more than the sneaking around and casual situation we've fostered up until now.

Sucking in a deep breath, I pull up my metaphorical big girl panties and ready myself for his rejection, should it come. I know he's got lots going on and our relationship isn't as simple as some, but I've seen the way he looks at me, the way he looks at the boys. He's been here every day for a week and a half. He's made us—me, Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo—his priority. He has no idea what that means to me after being in a relationship with a man who constantly put me and our sons last.

Closing my eyes for a moment, just to gather my thoughts, I feel my lips curling up into a small smile as I open them to say those three little words. I want him to say them back, but even if he doesn't, I know he's on his way there.

I've seen them in his heated gaze as we fall into bed at the end of a long day and his soft, sleepy smiles when we wake up wrapped around each other. I've seen them in the grins he shoots me over the boys' heads as he goofs around with them in the pool and the winks he offers when they're not looking. I've seen the words hovering on his lips when we Facetime before bed and he cuts himself off after 'goodnight, short stuff.'

So even if he doesn't say them out loud now, I can be patient.

"Edward...I l—"

The sudden, harsh sound of my cell vibrating across the overbed table makes me jump. Our noses knock together as I spring back, hissing and wincing at the pull of my still-healing muscles. My heart thumps hard in my chest, my pulse beating in my ears as I blindly reach out toward the noise.

Adrenaline leaks from my body. It's replaced by worry when I see it's Mom calling. She wouldn't disturb us if she didn't need to—she promised over and over today to sneak the boys away so we could have some alone time. Shooting Edward an apologetic half-smile, I quickly hit the flashing green symbol and raise my phone to my ear.

"Mom, hey. What's up?"

She doesn't get a chance to answer before I hear it. The wailing is loud enough for me to tell that it's my baby, my littlest boy, and he's distraught.

"_Oh, God, Lo…_" I breathe, my stomach falling to my feet. "What happened, what's wrong? Is he hurt? Is it his ankle?"

I see Edward frowning, already reaching for his keys on the table as he lifts slightly from the chair.

_"Don't panic, sweetheart, he's not hurt," _she finally says, soft and calm even though I can hear the edge of panic in her voice. _"He dozed off in the car on the way home so we let him sleep, but he woke up after a nightmare as we carried him in and he's been inconsolable ever since."_

Every fiber of my being screams for me to get out of this bed and make Edward drive me home to comfort my boy, then I hear it. A single word in the middle of Arlo's muffled cries, and my heart stops before taking off again with a sputter.

_Easy._

Tears fill my eyes but they're made of mixed emotions as I blink them away and mouth to Edward that Arlo needs him. Him, not me, his momma. It breaks my heart but buoys me at the same time. I can't go to him right now, but Edward can.

It doesn't escape my notice that he's never, not once, cried for Richard. He's been emotional after a no-show, but he's never asked for Richard when he's sick or upset, he's never woken for a nightmare wanting comfort from the man who _should_ be there for him.

"I'll call you," Edward murmurs, pressing a hot, hard kiss against my head before rushing from the room.

All thoughts of romantic declarations are forgotten as I ask Mom to hold the phone to Arlo's ear. "Hey, baby, it's Momma. Lo, can you hear me?"

It _kills _me to listen to him sob down the phone, but I continue a steady stream of reassurances until I hear Mom say, "Look, EC is here."

"Keep me on the phone, please," I plead, torn between gratefulness that Edward's presence gradually quiets Arlo's crying and guilt that I'm not there to comfort my son.

When it all falls quiet, only Edward's gentle, lilting humming coming through the phone and Mom's hushed whisper that Arlo is asleep, I breathe out a request for someone to call me if Arlo gets upset again before hanging up and letting the tears fall.

**~ oOo ~**

The next afternoon, I'm sitting in the sunshine on a bench outside the hospital entrance when Edward's Jeep rolls by, turning off into the parking lot. Jaxson spots me, all three boys waving like loons as they sail past and a smile spreads over my face.

It's been torture, waiting for them to finish school today. After Arlo's freak-out last night, I wasn't sure if Mom would end up bringing him in to me instead of school this morning. As it happens, he woke up quieter than usual and a little clingy with Edward, who slept on the pull-out in the den just in case, but otherwise okay. A day with Miss Mickey and his friends seems to have done him good though, because he's grinning so wide his eyes are squinty when he heeds Edward's warning to go slowly over the crossing before racing the last few feet.

He's gotten more confident on his crutches, which in turn makes me more nervous. The kid has no fear.

"Hey, kiddo," I breathe, wrapping him up in my arms as soon as he's close enough. The familiar apples, pears, and cookies scent of him makes me relax, his obvious joy only calming me further.

"Hi, Momma. Are we gonna get ice cream?" Jaxson asks, trailing behind Arlo with Finley and Edward.

"We sure are, baby," I tell them with a grin, giving them all the same squeezy hug before tugging Edward down to my level by the front of his tee. The boys groan and make yucky noises as I plant one right on his lips, laughing softly at his wide green eyes and slack jaw.

I see no reason to hide us from the boys now everybody else knows, and judging by the grins on their faces, they're not unhappy about it.

"Are you Momma's _boyfriend_?" Arlo demands with raised eyebrows.

Edward runs a hand through his hair, fumbling for his words before sighing and crouching so he's eye-level with them. "Yes, I am Momma's boyfriend."

A silly, girly sigh escapes me at that, but I can't help myself. Edward freaking Cullen is _my _boyfriend.

He smirks my way before addressing the boys. "Is that okay?"

Finley, Jaxson, and Arlo share a mischievous look. "I need to have a huddle with my brothers," Jaxson says, and all three of them step away a few feet to create a mini huddle.

Edward and I stifle our laughter, both perfectly able to hear their loud whispers as Finley points out that he told them we were dating and Jaxson says it's great because they'll probably get to use the pool more, leaving just Arlo wearing a pensive little frown.

"We're cool with it," Jaxson finally announces, apparently the chosen spokesman today. "But you gotta look after her, 'kay?" he warns, wagging a finger at Edward, who, to his credit, takes it very seriously. He manages to keep his straight face even when Jaxson flushes and adds, "And us, 'cause we're just kids."

"That sounds like a fair deal, so long as you guys promise to help me out from time to time when I get stuck. I've been on my own for a while. It's going to take me a bit to get used to having a family around again."

Eyeing me, then his brothers, Arlo hobbles closer on his crutches before tucking one under his arm so he can reach out to squeeze Edward's shoulder. He's so tiny compared to Edward, but it's the latter who seems small as Arlo clearly and confidently tells him, sounding for all the world far older than his tender four years, "We're your family, Easy, and families look after each other."

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**Next update: **Wednesday_ish_

**Can I tell you how much I love that you're all loving Sully? It's possible I have plans for him beyond this story, so it makes me incredibly happy to see you all loving on him in your reviews.**

**We're winding down into the last couple of chapters now! After this, there's two more regular chapters and then the epilogue. They're all written and edited now, so my update schedule may just go out of the window at any given point LOL. We all know I'm a sucker and usually end up posting early anyway.**

**If you haven't already, run along and check out Sunshine1220's new story, Clutch. It's one chapter in and I can already tell it's going to be a humdinger! It's got Sons of Anarchy and Charlie Hunnam as inspiration...need I say more? ;)**

**As always, huge "thank you's" need to go to the wonderful ladies who help me out with this story, particularly my good friend **annaharding **because she's always so darn helpful and great at talking me off the ledge. Can't wait to see you again later this year!**

**And big hugs to all of you wonderful people taking the time to read and review. When there's other bullshit going on, it's your reviews and sweet words that get me through the writer's block and the 'can I do this?' wobbles.**


	30. Chapter 30 - Edward

**This is the last regular chapter! I can't actually believe that we're almost at the end. Just the epilogue to go now.**

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**Chapter Thirty**

_**Edward**_

With Jaxson on my back, Finley holding one of my pockets, and Arlo zipping ahead beside Bella in her wheelchair, I can't help but swallow a lump of emotion before it can gang up with the tears that threaten to fall.

These boys, their momma...they're everything. Being welcomed into their family gives me a sense of peace that I haven't felt in years.

"C'mon, Easy," Jaxson cajoles, gently kicking his feet against my sides. "Arlo and Momma are gonna beat us!"

Scooping Finley up under my arm, I chuckle at his yelp of surprise and speed up, but Bella and Arlo have the added advantage of her chair. He slides onto her lap and giggles as she pushes the wheels faster, the chair crossing into the cafeteria a split second before my feet.

"Aw, man," Jaxson whines half-heartedly, knowing he's still going to get ice cream even though we lost. Bella said the losers wouldn't get any, but she's a soft touch. The woman lives to put smiles on the boys' faces. I'm proven right when she points to a table by the window, asking the boys to decide what they want before telling them to go sit down.

"This is my treat," I tell her when we join the small line once we've got their orders and watched them settle at the table, content with their coloring books.

Bella's eyes narrow like she's going to argue, but she smiles and relaxes when she sees the determination on my face. "In that case, I'll have one, too."

Laughing and squeezing her shoulder, I tell her, "You can have whatever you want, short stuff. Anything for you."

Her gaze softens before turning contemplative, flicking around the room like she's searching for or deciding something. The businessman behind us grunts that we're up, breaking the spell, and when she looks at me again it's to thank me for treating.

"No problem," I murmur, for the briefest of moments wondering if her hesitation could possibly be because she's nervous to say the same three words that are on the tip of my tongue.

_I love you._

**~ oOo ~**

Later, while Jaxson and Finley get their daily reading out of the way by sandwiching Arlo between them and forcing him to listen to them read, the doctor comes to see her. The grin he's wearing as he steps into the room makes my heart skip a beat, hope powering my burgeoning smile.

"You're all set to go home, Bella."

The boys excitedly leap off the sofa, abandoning their book to clamber all over their momma and babble over each other. She has suspiciously glassy eyes as she holds them close and murmurs for them to be quiet. "Really? I can go?"

"You sure can," he confirms happily, flipping to a different page on his clipboard. He reads for a second, then nods to himself before flashing his pearly whites again. "Your test results from yesterday all came back great, and the PT says you did well in your session this morning."

Bella nods and self-consciously runs a hand through her hair. "I'm getting stronger every day, she said."

"Then I see no reason to keep you. You'll need to wait for a bit for your discharge papers and all that fun stuff, but then you're welcome to head out. I trust you have transport and someone to help you out at home for a few more days…?" he trails off, eyeing me.

"Absolutely."

There's no doubting my resolute tone; the doctor taps his pen against the clipboard with a pleased, "Perfect! Well, Bella, we'll see you for follow-up in the clinic in six weeks. Take care, all right?"

Bella bumbles her way through her "thank you's", the shock of her surprise release all over her beautiful face when we're finally alone with the boys again. "I get to go home!"

"Yay, Momma, you did it!" Arlo cheers, hands in the air and teeth on show as he grins. "No more icky hospital food."

We all laugh at that, but nobody is happier than Finley, the fussy eater of the bunch.

"All right then. Well, do you want to call everybody now and tell them, or wait 'til you're home?"

Bella chews her lip for a moment. "I want to go get Max, so maybe we could call Ange so she can get him ready, but surprise the others? They're all over there for dinner tonight anyway."

While Bella carefully gathers up her things, including all the pictures the boys have colored over the last week and the many cards she's been sent, I step out to give Angela a call. She's excited for Bella and relieved this ordeal is coming to a close, just like I am.

"_I'll get the beast ready," _she promises, whispering so nobody overhears her. I can just make out Danny's and Charlie's voices in the background, interspersed with peals of Jude's laughter. "_God, I bet she's relieved. And you! No more back and forth between home, Burger Co., and JBH, although I suppose you'll still go between your place and Bella's."_

I hum and agree, but I don't add that I have a different plan for when we leave the hospital. I just have to get Bella to agree.

Which, incidentally, isn't for hours. It takes forever to get Bella's paperwork sorted and then another half hour on top for the doctor to return with an apologetic grimace and her medicine prescription. "You can fill this here or at the pharmacy, whichever is easiest for you. Sorry for the delay, we've had an emergency come in and I got caught up in the ER."

"It's fine, Doctor," Bella smiles, waving him off even though her tiredness is a living, breathing entity in the room now. It's nearing nine, way past the boys' bedtime and later than Bella has managed to stay up in weeks. She's exhausted; I can't wait to get her home and tucked up in bed so we can all start to recover from this.

As we finally amble toward the exit, Bella and Arlo in the chair I'm pushing and the twins trailing sleepily behind me, I hesitate before speaking. "Do you want to wait until the morning to get Max? One more night with Ben and Angela won't hurt him, and I'm sure they won't mind."

Bella's long sigh gives away her disappointment, but she quietly agrees. "We can get him first thing tomorrow instead. I'll text Ange when we get to the car. It's handy that the boys were already having a sleepover with you tonight or someone would have come to get them and we wouldn't have been here."

Humming my agreement, I bend to press a kiss on the crown of her head, my stomach tightening at the sweet smile she shoots over her shoulder.

Out in the almost-deserted parking lot, I load the boys into their carseats and thank Bella for waiting for me to help her up into the Jeep. She offers me a sheepish grin and admits she didn't think she'd be able to climb up by herself; she's a shorty and the Jeep is kinda high up, even for someone who isn't still weak from a car accident. Bella presses a smile against my beard-covered jaw as I scoop her from her chair, one arm behind her back, one under her legs, and hold her to my chest for a moment.

"You're beautiful," I whisper, gazing into her shadowed gray eyes and grinning at the way her long, loud yawn makes them water.

"Oh, yeah. I feel really beautiful right now," she says, murmuring her thanks when I gently set her down.

Shrugging, I make an easy admission. "You're always beautiful to me. Exhausted, covered in food or paint of whatever else the boys have gotten on you, or all dolled up...you're stunning, Bella."

The rosy hue that infuses her cheeks makes my neglected dick pay attention, but sex is so far off my list of priorities right now, it's easy to ignore. Crouching a little, I cup her face in my palms and lean closer to breathe her in, already anticipating the replacement of the hospital-issue shampoo with her own as I press a gentle kiss against her forehead. The 'I love you' is _right there_, but this isn't the right time or place, so I bite it back and offer her a smile instead before stepping away to put the wheelchair in the back with Arlo's crutches.

I start to feel apprehensive as I drive us home. The boys are all out before we leave the parking lot, and even though Bella is shattered, she's awake enough to notice when we cruise right past her house.

With raised brows, she tilts her head against the headrest to face me. "Uh, Edward? You just missed our stop."

Swallowing hard as I pull onto the driveway, the headlights illuminate the garage door as I ready myself for Bella's reaction.

"If you're willing," I begin softly, "I thought you could all stay here, with me. That way I can work from home and still be here to help out until you're back to full strength." Launching into what I hope will be the clincher, although I was hoping the boys would be awake to help seal the deal, I twist a little and reach out to take her hands. "The boys can use the pool whenever they want, and my yard is a bit bigger than yours, so Max will have plenty of room to run around."

Bella is a strong, independent woman. She prides herself on taking care of her own issues and being everything to the boys, so I'm expecting an argument. I'm expecting her to insist I take her home so she can stand on her own two feet and take care of everything herself.

I'm definitely not expecting her pursed lips to curl into a small, bashful smile as her fingers squeeze mine.

"We haven't got any clothes, toothbrushes…"

My ears burn. "Actually, I uh...I went to Costco yesterday. I got pajamas for you and the boys. Toothbrushes and stuff, too, just for tonight or to keep here for sleepovers."

Hope begins to spread through my veins as she laughs and cocks her head. "You really want us to stay with you?"

"I really do. I want to take care of you." I smirk a little. "I promised the boys, after all."

She snorts, shaking her head, before sighing. I can see her mulling it over, but she doesn't make me sweat long. "Okay. But just until I'm better. I don't want to be a burden, okay? You've already done so much for us, now you're giving up all your peace and quiet."

I don't tell her I'm very much looking forward to a lack of quiet in my house. Instead, I lean over the console to kiss her until we're both breathless and it's all I can do not to haul her into my lap. Relief doesn't come easy, though. This is just one hurdle.

I already know, when Bella's feeling better, I'm not going to want them to leave.

"All right, let's get you all inside."

My stomach twists as I lift Bella out of the Jeep, barely managing to stifle my frown when she tells me she wants to walk. "I just want to stretch my legs a bit before I get back into a bed."

Thankfully, the boys' surprise at being here instead of their house wakes them up enough to walk into the house on their own steam, leaving me free to hover right by Bella in case she needs any support. She doesn't, so I settle for placing a hand at the small of her back, my chest expanding with a happy sigh as I flick on the lights inside. Instead of silence, I listen to Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo as their feet pound the hardwood on their way into the living area. I listen to their happy voices as the door to my study swings open, Sullivan sauntering out scratching his bare stomach with an exaggerated yawn.

"Hey, big brother." Shooting Bella a wink and a roguish smirk, he adds, "Hot stuff."

She rolls her eyes and lightly socks him in the abs as we head for the kitchen where she slips onto a stool, glances around, then aims a cheeky grin his way. "What...no cup of tea to welcome us home?"

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry, my lady," Sullivan teases in a truly terrible British accent. "What beverage would one like?"

Laughing, Bella shakes her head. "Just some water would be great, thanks."

The boys careen into the kitchen a few minutes later, Arlo's crutches clicking on the tile. "Easy, are we still stayin' here tonight now Momma is out of the hospital?"

Crouching, I hike up the fabric of my cargo pants so they don't split over my thighs as I ruffle Arlo's messy 'do. "You sure are. You're all gonna stay here until Momma feels better."

_And hopefully after that, too._

Arlo eyes his mom for a moment. "Is that long?"

She shrugs. "I don't know, kiddo. Why, don't you want to stay here?"

My eyes jump between Arlo and Bella. I know she's still worried about him after his meltdown last night—we both are. It was heartbreaking when I got to Charlie and Renee's and found him so inconsolable. I could hear him wailing even from outside as I jogged up the porch steps. Thankfully, a simple bribe of ice cream and snuggles with his momma got him to open up and admit that he had a nightmare about the car accident and was scared when he woke up and neither me or Bella were with him. Bella is going to wait and see how he goes, but Kendra gave me a list of her colleagues who specialize in children's trauma just in case he needs to see someone to help him deal with the after effects of the accident.

"I _do _want to stay here," he insists.

"All right. I have a surprise for you boys, do you want to come see?"

Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo like anything that starts with the word 'surprise.' Sullivan cracks a grin and tells us he'll wait down here, and the boys take off toward the stairs before I can blink. Even Arlo is halfway up, scooting on his butt with his crutches in one hand, by the time I've walked with Bella to the foot of the stairs. Not even her laughter at their eagerness is enough to make me smile as I trail after them after scooping her into my arms, directing them left when my feet reach the top.

I asked Sullivan to leave the door open. I know he did when the boys get a glimpse into the guest bedroom and the first words out of Jaxson's mouth are "Oh, cool!"

They've slept here a few times, so they know as well as I do that the triple bunk bed now taking up one of the walls is new. The double bed that _was _in here is now in pieces down in the garage. I feel Bella's deep inhale as I follow the boys into the room.

"Edward…"

My refusal to put Bella down means I can't tug at my hair. My frustration manifests as burning hot ears instead as I watch the boys claim beds. Arlo, by default because of his bum ankle, gets the lowest bed while Jaxson claims the top bunk and Finley climbs into the middle bed to swing his legs over the edge.

"This is so cool, Easy! Did you do this for us?" he asks.

"I did. Sully helped. We wanted you to have a room that's yours when you guys stay over here. Do you...it's good, right?"

Jaxson nods hard, throwing himself back onto the pillow with a giggle. "I love it."

"Finn? Arlo? What about you guys?"

"It's _awesome_," Finley agrees before a yawn leaves his eyes watering.

Arlo shares their opinion. He slides off his bunk and hobbles over to lean against my legs, his dark eyes sleepy but bright as he peers up at me. "Thanks, Easy. It's super cool."

With the boys all happy, but Bella still scarily quiet, I gently follow her command and set her on her feet so she can get the boys' teeth brushed and their pajamas on. Deciding it might be better to give her a few minutes to organize her thoughts and retain some independence—the last thing I want to do is smother her—I murmur that the toothbrushes and pajamas are on the dresser before heading downstairs, leaving them to it after kissing each of the boys' heads.

"Night, Easy," Finley whispers as I brush his hair away from his forehead and kiss him right between his brows, lifting him down as he stretches his arms out to me. "Love you."

Grinning, I hug him tight for a few seconds. "Love you too, bud."

In the kitchen, Sullivan is waiting to tell me that he'll continue taking Bella's shifts at Burger Co. for as long as she and I need. Clapping his shoulder gently, I ruffle his mop of sunny blond hair and make sure he sees the gratitude in my face when I thank him. I've really appreciated all his help these last few weeks. He's been a great hand at Burger Co., picking everything up quickly and getting on great with the rest of the crew. Even Garrett has commented on what a hard worker he is, and he's a hard guy to impress. It's a shame that I don't have a permanent position open for Sullivan once Bella comes back to work.

"I'm bushed, I'll see ya in the mornin', big brother." Wagging a teasing finger at me as he scoops his cell from the counter, his blue eyes crinkle with mischief. "Just remember, my room is right below yours. I don't wanna be hearing any funny business, aight?"

Rolling my eyes even as my ears burn, I give him a light shove and laugh him out of the room. "Night, little brother."

Once I've locked up, I follow the soft voices upstairs to the doorway of the boys' room where I silently watch as Bella tenderly tucks them all in. Before she can spot me, I quickly turn to wait for her in my room. She announces her presence a few minutes later by humming with what I hope is appreciation as I pull my shirt over my head, offering her a wink as I toss it into the laundry hamper.

"The boys all set?"

"Yeah, they were all out within seconds."

We undress silently, unhurriedly, falling into bed together with twin sighs of relief, _finally_, and exhaustion.

"You really want us here."

My eyebrows lift as I tuck a folded arm between my pillow and my head, turning onto my side to mirror her position. "Of course."

She looks...troubled. "And when I'm better...there's no excuse not to stay over now they have their own beds."

That's something I thought of when I went out and purchased the bunk beds. It was the first thing I did before going to see Bella in the hospital the day after I told Charlie about us; I wasn't lying to him when I said I'm serious about Bella and the boys. Until now, Bella has occasionally talked the boys out of staying over here by pointing out that there's only one bed. Now there's three.

I won't deny that I'm glad to have one less excuse for Bella and the boys to leave.

Even now, I can see the dim glow of the nightlight in their room reflecting in the mirror that hangs outside my bedroom door. I purposefully left it open, knowing sex is off the table and not wanting the boys to be unable to find us in the morning. With Bella, Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo here, there's life and noise and laughter. Sullivan is a welcome addition, but I know he'll return to his mom at some point. He doesn't usually stick around for long.

I want Bella and the boys here, with me, forever.

Reaching out to trail my fingertips over Bella's bare silhouette, from the delectable curve of her hip and waist to the outside of her breast, then over her collarbone and neck all the way to her full, smiling lips. "I want you to stay for as long as you can put up with me, short stuff."

There are questions in her deep charcoal gaze. Hesitance and confusion, too.

It's the hope swirling between them that fuels my own.

**~ oOo ~**

Waking up in the morning with Bella wrapped around me and a light breeze blowing through the ajar window, it's heaven. The sun is already sneaking into the room and a quick glance at the clock reveals that we've slept in.

A silly, sleepy grin stretches across my face as I shuffle a little, holding Bella tighter to my chest. I haven't slept this well since before I left for Utah. Bella has become my nightlight, my human comforter, and I'm not at all sad about it. She's a deliciously warm, sexy accompaniment to a great night's sleep. Comfortable and content, I doze lightly without falling back into a deep sleep, Bella's soft breaths against my chest and the soothing weight of her leg draped over mine lulling me into a dreamlike state.

An indeterminable amount of time later, I find myself in a strange sort of parallel universe.

Muscle memory drags me from the fog of sleep when I hear the soft, familiar squeak of a door down the hall. Tightening my arms around the warm body now tucked into my chest, both of us on our side, I listen for Willow's footsteps, smiling into the hair in front of my face as she pads into the bathroom. After the flush, little feet dash back down the hall and my ears pick up the faint sound of a soft voice singing to herself…

_Wait._

Sleep-addled, my brain takes a bit to catch up. My spine stiffens, a rush of memories slugging me in the gut.

It's not Willow. It can't be Willow.

The voice down the hall...it doesn't belong to my beautiful daughter because she's gone. Now I'm more with it, I can tell that it's Jaxson. He's been obsessed with the _Smallfoot_ soundtrack since Bella and I took the boys to go see it at the movie theatre last month; I can hear him singing Channing Tatum and Zendaya's song, "Wonderful Questions," right now.

My heart takes off at a sprint, the mix of nostalgia, confusion, and realization pushing bile up my throat.

For a minute or two, I really thought…

_I really thought Willow was still here._

Opening my eyes, it's not Kate's almost white-blonde locks in front of my face. It's Bella's sleep-mussed chocolate tresses. As I carefully shift up into a sitting position, I blink away the remnants of sleep and dig both hands into my hair. The pain of my fingers tugging at the strands help distract me from the chasm opening up in my chest.

"Get it together," I whisper, desperately trying to calm my breathing and racing heart before I can escalate into a full-blown panic attack.

The boys have stayed over before, but they've never ventured into Willow's room.

"Hey," Bella's voice breaks through the heavy cloud descending on me. Her sunny, still-sleepy smile melts away in the face of my obvious distress and it kills me.

_I'm sorry._

"What's wrong? Edward, what's…"

She doesn't finish, trailing off as another voice joins Jaxson's down the hall.

"_That's Willow's room, stupid! Get out, Jax!" _It's Finley.

"Oh, crap."

Mercifully, Bella doesn't question or push me. Sliding neatly from the bed, she tugs on the t-shirt I abandoned last night and then yanks a pair of denim shorts out of the drawer she claimed for sleepovers, sliding them on before slipping from the room. As I suck in deep breath after deep breath, I hear Bella ushering the boys downstairs.

"_Can I go see Easy?" _Arlo asks innocently, breaking my already cracked heart.

"_Not right now, kiddo. He's still sleeping."_

It kills me that she has to lie for me, but even without a mirror, I know it wouldn't be great for the boys to see me right now. Knowing my heavenly morning is over, I toss my legs over the side of the bed and marvel at the way my hands shake when I rest them on my thighs before I head into the bathroom. There's no escaping my reflection in the large mirror. I'm white as a sheet despite a summer in the Florida sun, and my eyes are wide, panicked like a deer in headlights. The shadows under my eyes from worrying about Bella and sleeping like shit are finally faded almost to nothing, but the hints of tiredness are enough to throw my face into stark relief.

"Get a grip, Cullen."

By the time I've pulled myself together enough to shower, get dried and dressed in a loose sweater and some worn jersey shorts, and head downstairs, the house is eerily quiet. My pulse, which had finally calmed under the hot spray of the walk-in shower, starts to speed up again.

"Bella?" I call hesitantly, peeking into the empty living area before moving down the hall toward the kitchen. Sullivan turns from his spot at the sink, offering me a sympathetic smile.

"How you doin'?"

Blowing out a breath, I pull at my still-damp hair. "She told you."

"That you had a freak-out? Yeah. But I could have guessed from the look on her face. She looked like she'd seen a ghost when she came down here."

_Fuck_.

Rounding the island to grip my shoulders, Sullivan looks me right in the eyes and squints a little. "What happened?"

"I..._fuck_. It's stupid. I was half-asleep and I heard Jaxson in the hall. He must have gotten curious about the other room and let himself in, but when I woke up and heard her door…"

His eyes widen and cloud over with understanding. "Oh, shit. You thought it was Willow."

"Uh-huh."

"Fuck, brother." Sullivan sighs, pulling me into a tight hug. He's always been a hugger, ever since he was a little kid. I can't deny that it's comforting to have one of his bear hugs now. "Bella will understand, you know?"

"I know." She's always so understanding. Too understanding at times. I really don't deserve her, and I know it. "Where is she? I need to go talk to her."

Casting a look over his shoulder, he nods toward the window overlooking the beach. "They're all out there. She thought you might want some space. I've gotta get showered and ready for work, but I'll have my cell handy if you need me."

Managing a faint grin, I pat his scruffy cheek and ruffle his hair, murmuring my thanks. Forgoing shoes, I slip out onto the patio where I can just about make out the silhouettes of my four favorite people along the shore. The sand is cool on the soles of my feet, the sun bright and uninhibited by the few wispy clouds drifting across the sky. The salty sea air clears the cobwebs away, leaving behind the knowledge that I can't live without this woman and those boys. It's at the forefront of my mind as I pick up the pace a little, jogging to catch up with them, which as it happens, isn't all that fun or easy.

It doesn't take long before my calves are burning and I'm regretting letting my fitness regime slip these last few months.

"Bella!" I finally call once I'm close enough I think she'll be able to hear me. My voice carries on the breeze, the boys turning before Bella does.

"Easy!" Three bright smiles grace the faces of three little boys who have quickly become vital to my wellbeing. I love their mom, but I also love the bones of Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo. I once tried to tell myself that I didn't feel like their dad and knew that wouldn't happen, because I'm _not _their dad, but I want to be—I wish I could be.

Dropping to my knees in the sand, I grunt as they hit my chest in a three-way hug that almost tackles me clean off my feet. One of Arlo's crutches digs into my side, but I grin when I see the sandals taped to the bottom so he can use them on the beach.

"Mornin', boys. Did you sleep well in your new beds?"

"Uh huh," Jaxson nods, his brothers agreeing. "Momma brought us down here to find shells for our collection. Do you wanna help us find cool ones?"

Eyeing Bella's contemplative face over the top of her sons' heads, I quietly hum. "Is it okay if I talk to your momma for a sec first? Then I'll come help for as long as you want."

"Sure, that's cool. C'mon, Finn, Arlo!"

They take off together, making sure to stay a few feet from the water's edge as per Bella's rules. If she's not right there with them, they aren't allowed to touch the water.

Alone again, I get back on my feet and find myself looking at Bella's back as she ambles down to the water's edge. The ocean splashes in her wake, the sunlight reflecting off the water almost blinding. "Bella, wait!"

With a shaky sigh that lifts and lowers her shoulders, Bella slows before stopping, glancing over her shoulder at me. "I think...I think I should take the boys home, give you your space. I don't want to see you upset like that again. Do you want us to leave? I don't know what to do for the best right now."

_What do I want?_

"You, Bella. I want you. You're what's best for me." Blowing out a big breath, I rub the back of my neck. I need to explain what my freak-out was about, but I'm embarrassed that something so simple made me flip out. I can only hope she understands. "I heard Jax moving around and thought it was Willow," I finally breathe, not sure at first if the breeze carried my words away. Then her shoulders lift and fall in a heavy sigh and I know she heard me.

"I'm sorry," she whispers, gazing out at the horizon. "I thought it might be something like that, which is why it might be better for us to give you your space back, but I don't want to push you into anything. You need to tell me what you want." Twisting to face me, the vulnerability in her gray gaze slays me. Closing the gap to cradle her face in my large palms, I give up on waiting for the perfect time and place, finally owning up to what I've been feeling for probably way longer than even I realize.

"Fuck, Bella. Don't you know by now? You own me." The sun shines on her burgeoning smile as I release a deep sigh, my lips curling up into a grin. "I love you, Bella Swan, more than anything. I want you and the boys to stay with me, not just while you're recovering, but permanently. I'm not great at showin' my emotions and I'm a grumpy motherfucker. I'll piss you off a hundred times a day, but I'll work on it, I _am _working on it, for you and our boys—_oomph_!"

Bella doesn't give me a chance to finish the speech I've been rehearsing for weeks. Launching herself at me, she wraps her arms around my shoulders, her legs around my waist, and kisses me stupid with the sun on my back and the ocean lapping at my feet. My hands instinctively move to support her, landing under her thighs where soft skin meets the hem of her shorts. The warm weight of her against my chest and the delicious taste of her as she sneaks her tongue into my mouth leave me hot and staggering to keep my balance.

She's intoxicating. So much so that I _almost _forget she didn't say anything back when I told her I love her.

Then she suddenly rips her lips away from me, cupping my beard-covered jaw in her trembling hands as she eyes me with her wide, dark steel gaze. "You know I love you, right? Because I do, _so _much."

Huffing a chuckle, I feel relief flooding my veins. "Well, I do _now_."

Shaking her head and leaning in to peck my lips once, twice, three more times, Bella buries her face in my neck and releases a delirious little giggle against my skin.

Making sure she isn't going to fall, I bring one hand up to brush some of her hair behind her ear, thoroughly enjoying the slight flush that rises to her cheeks as a result. "I love you so much, short stuff," I whisper, suddenly overcome with the intensity of how much I adore this woman. "You're so much more than I deserve. I didn't realize how unhappy and lonely I was until you and the boys bulldozed your way through my solitary life, and my God, am I grateful as fuck that you did."

Snorting, she brushes a tender kiss on the tip of my nose. "You're so easy to love, handsome. And you deserve so much more than the half-life you were living. You just needed a push and a reminder that there's still a life waiting for you and so many people who love you." Smirking, she adds, "Me, most of all, of course. I love you, I love you, I love you." She peppers my face with kisses between each 'I love you.'

Unable to resist kissing the woman I love—the woman who somehow loves me in return—I do just that, only to be reminded that we're not alone when we're serenaded with "Eew's" and "Yuck's".

Bella's uninhibited laughter rides the ocean breeze as she tosses her head back and sticks her tongue out at the boys, whose silly grins calm any fears I might have had about them overhearing our conversation.

With the sun on my back, the love of my life in my arms, and the boys teasing us about making kissy faces, I'm the happiest man alive.

* * *

**There we have it, _finally_. Was it worth the wait? Did I do it justice? Let me know ;)**

**The epilogue will post Sunday.**

**As always, huge "thank you's" need to go to the wonderful ladies who help me out with this story, particularly my good friend **annaharding **because she's always so darn helpful and great at talking me off the ledge. Can't wait to see you again later this year!**

**And big hugs to all of you wonderful people taking the time to read and review. When there's other bullshit going on, it's your reviews and sweet words that get me through the writer's block and the 'can I do this?' wobbles.**

**And just a little reminder that if you're looking for my chapter images, teasers, or anything like that, they're all exclusive to my FB reader group now. Come just me in CiaraShayee's Subconscious for all the fun stuff. Everyone is welcome!**


	31. Chapter 31 - Edward

**Surprise! Turns out I'm full of those today *facepalm* Later today, I'm surprising my husband with a 40th birthday party. He thinks everybody has forgotten about his birthday but they're all coming over to his brother's house to surprise him. I can't wait!  
**

**Then last night, when I was grabbing a teaser for the epilogue, I realised I'd forgotten I added another chapter between 30 and the epi, so you get that today instead of the epilogue, which I was already planning to post early. Happy Saturday!**

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-One**

_**Edward**_

Over the next three weeks, we establish a new routine.

An intoxicating routine that quickly surpasses even my wildest fantasies of what having Bella, the boys, and Max live with me could be like.

Thankfully, Jude opts to stick around a while longer and spends a lot of her time here, with Bella and the boys. She's a kind-hearted woman who adores the family I've adopted as my own, so of course, I quickly fall for her sweet smiles and warm hugs. She seems to take great pleasure in mothering any and all who will let her, including Sullivan, who laps up her attention like a greedy puppy.

The first school day after Bella's release from the hospital, she sits at the counter in the kitchen while I find myself brushing hair and pouring bowls of cereal. I grin as I pack sack lunches into miniature backpacks and remind Jaxson not to let Max drool on him. He's already on his second shirt of the day after giggle-snorting milk down himself when Sullivan cursed a blue streak as he stepped on an errant piece of Lego.

It's all very domestic and something I can tell I'll become addicted to.

For the first time in years, I do the school run. Bella sits in the passenger seat, her hand gripped tightly in mine between gear changes, as the boys chatter happily in the backseat. It's still only the second time I've been to the school since Willow's accident, so I don't argue when Bella insists she's perfectly capable of walking them in herself while I wait outside.

With a dry mouth and clammy hands, I nod and manage a small smile as she blows me a kiss and slowly walks into the school with Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo.

My world becomes a little bigger with the realization that coming back here doesn't mean more bad things will happen.

I've neglected Burger Co. since the accident, so I spend most of my mornings in my study, forcing myself not to go and see what Bella is doing. She often tests my restraint by sending pictures of her tanned legs over the edge of the pool or the blanket nests she likes to make in the wide-cushioned couch in the living room. She keeps herself occupied but I know the boredom is driving her crazy, so I also make time for us to go out a few times a week, even if it's just for a leisurely stroll along the beach with Max splashing in the surf.

By the time Halloween rolls around, I know I'm on borrowed time. Bella is all healed up, even the darkest of bruises now invisible. She returned to work sooner than I would have liked, but she's doing great. We had to tweak our routine a little, but her absence means I get to spend more time with the boys after school. The cooler weather doesn't stifle their enthusiasm for the pool, especially when I admit that I can heat the water for the chillier evenings when we need something to do after homework while we wait for Bella to come home.

And that's just it. I've very quickly replaced 'my house' with 'home' even though I know this isn't going to last.

Bella has started making soft comments starting with 'when we leave' and ending with 'you'll have your peace and quiet back soon.' She doesn't realize I've grown reliant on the noise that accompanies the boys and Max. She doesn't understand how much joy it gives me when I can't concentrate on my work because the boys are racing their remote control cars up and down the hardwood floor in the hall. She can't possibly comprehend how full my heart is when I walk through the front door and I'm greeted with life instead of death.

She doesn't realize it'll destroy me when she packs up the books scattered over the boys' bedroom floor, the random pieces of Lego I keep treading on, and the miniature jackets that hang beside mine, Bella's, and Willow's in the hall.

Swallowing hard as I make my way downstairs in my Halloween costume, my eyes are drawn to Willow's small coat, to her tiny shoes still sitting on the rack below, and my thoughts stray to the bedroom upstairs. It's still exactly as she left it. The pajamas she wore the night before her accident are strewn over the floor. Her bed is unmade, an unfinished drawing sits untouched on the craft table, and her toys still spill haphazardly from the toybox. My lips twitch up a little. She was so proud to show me that she'd tidied them all away.

"Oh, look at you!" Alice sings, sashaying down the hall in her skin-tight catsuit to snap me out of my realization that maybe it's time to make a few changes around here.

Maybe it's time to let my precious girl go.

"You look great!"

With burning ears, I manage a faint smirk as I hold my arms out and take the last step down. "Thanks. You look...good."

"Thank you!"

Looping her arm through mine, she leads me down the hall to the kitchen where the doors have been thrown open to the patio, welcoming in the cool but pleasant fall air. It seems like half of Jackson Bay is congregating here, in my once-deathly silent house. It was Bella's idea to host a pre-trick or treating party at my place and I'll admit I wasn't onboard at the start. It took some convincing, but once I agreed, she ran full steam ahead with the party planning and did a fantastic job. The decor is great, there's enough candy here to supply the entire town, and everywhere I look, I can see smiles.

My parents flew in with Jasper, Alice, and Matty. Mom is a witch while Dad has come as a doctor complete with gory 'bloodstained' scrubs. Alice, Jasper, and Matty have come as Catwoman, Batman, and Robin. I spot Charlie and Renee across the yard, dressed as Marilyn Monroe and Elvis Presley and standing with Benjamin and Angela. Danny messed up their plan for a family get-up—he's running around somewhere in a spacesuit while they're rocking their Joker and Harley Quinn costumes. Somewhere, Sullivan is running around in a full werewolf costume with a built-in speaker that randomly plays howling noises. The boys think it's great and join in every time, which then sets off Max and the Samuels's pugs.

There's a sea of smiling, laughing people taking over my yard, with more arriving every second it seems. As I crane my neck and hunt for Bella, I see vampires, ghosts, surfer dudes, minions, clowns, skeletons, princesses, witches...every kind of costume imaginable.

Then I see her. Way across the yard with the most beautiful smile on her face as she twists a red pigtail between her fingers. Alice is distracted by Matty, so I grab a can of soda from the ice bucket and meander across the patio. When I make it to Bella, I realize I was wrong before.

_This _smile, the one that stretches across her face when she sees me in my costume for the first time, is the most beautiful smile in the world.

"Well, cowboy…." she whistles, thoroughly embarrassing me in front of Jane Samuels and Carlie. "I like this look on you."

Peering down at my bright yellow shirt, cow-print vest, and pointy cowboy boots, I snort. Then I turn my attention to _her _get-up and I think...I think I could get on board. A tight silk shirt, figure-hugging denim skirt, and knee-high boots make up her Jessie costume. Not forgetting her scarlet cowboy hat, of course. I have a matching brown one on my head.

"I look ridiculous, but _you_, short stuff, look delicious."

As the girls coo, I take the opportunity to glance around and make sure Charlie isn't looking in our direction before laying one on her. He's been a great sport and even admitted that he's kind of glad we're together, because he knows we'll be good to each other, but neither of us want to push him. We promised no PDA, after all.

Pressing my lips against hers in a brief kiss that does nothing to temper the attraction I feel for her, I smile. "I love you."

Beaming brighter than the sun, she reaches up to stroke my cheek, her eyes only on me as she murmurs her soft "I love you, too."

Later, before we all head out trick-or-treating, a woman I recognize as an occasional visitor to the restaurant rushes over to introduce herself. "I'm Lexi," she beams, tucking her hair behind her ear. She's come dressed in a black leotard with planets stuck all over her body—the solar system, I assume. "I work for the paper. I'm just doing the rounds, trying to get photos of as many party-goers as possible. Mr. Swan invited me," she adds quickly.

"Ooh, that would be great. Could you wait one sec? I just need to grab our boys."

I don't have long enough to ruminate over the fact that Bella called the boys 'our' boys before she's herding them back toward us and guiding me into position in front of the steps, which have been decorated with pumpkins and spooky figurines—all Bella's handiwork, of course.

Lexi shoots me an odd look and raises an eyebrow as she checks the first picture of all five of us. "You could smile, Mr. Cullen!"

Bella elbows me in the side as my mind finally quiets. Wrapping an arm around her waist and resting a hand on Arlo's Buzz Lightyear helmet as she reminds Jaxson and Finley—or Green Army Man and Rex—to stand still, I can't help but grin wide, even when the flash of Lexi's camera almost blinds me and especially when she shows us the screen and tells us something we already know.

We have a beautiful family.

**~ oOo ~**

Once the tricks and treats have been doled out and the sun has set, the boys are so full of sugar that they go crazy for an hour before suddenly crashing. Carrying a tuckered out Green Army Man in one arm and an equally sleepy Rex in the other, I trail behind Bella and almost well up at how lovely she is whispering to our sleeping Buzz Lightyear, his head pillowed on her shoulder, his helmet and her wig in her free hand.

The house is a wreck, exactly the way we left it to go trick-or-treating with all our friends and family, but we make the decision to tidy up tomorrow and head down the hall to our room after tucking the boys in. Everything else can wait, I just want Bella.

As I sprawl out on the bed with my hands behind my head, Bella slowly, sensually removes each piece of her costume until she's clad only in her fake red Stetson and sinfully little else. I already know the tiny scrap of lace hiding her sweet pussy from me will easily give way with a tug.

With a teasing, rosy-cheeked smile, she takes her time removing her bra. The moonlight streams through the gap in the curtains, illuminating her gray gaze and the flush spreading over her chest as she crawls up the bed toward me.

"You're wearing too many clothes, cowboy," she whispers, her words ghosting over me. Her mouth over my skin brands me everywhere it touches, her kisses driving me crazy by the time she reaches my lips where she sets up camp, her hips resting over my abs and her hands twisting themselves into my hair.

"I could say the same about you."

She stifles her giggle against my mouth as we both hear the quiet rip of her panties giving way under my greedy fingers.

I flip us over, shivering as Bella deliberately grazes my skin with her cow-print nails while she undoes the buttons of my shirt. When we're both left in just our cowboy hats, we stare at each other for a moment, heat simmering between us and "I love you's" in every touch, every gaze.

Her hands trail lightly over my chest, one of her palms pausing to rest over the fast thud of my heart. It beats for her. My eyes follow the gentle slope of her delicate nose to the sweet curve of her smile. Breaths are exchanged as well as murmured promises of love, adoration, and support. Our bodies know this dance well, my hard length sliding home with a slight shift of position. Her breathy sigh is met with a low groan, my guttural curse swallowed by her desperate kiss. She's maddening, intoxicating, breath-stealing sin.

We twist and turn, bend and break, and put each other back together again with soothing words and bone-melting kisses. The hats come off and Bella takes the reins, turning us so that she's over me and around me and filling me up with the love I didn't know I was missing.

The moonlight makes her gray gaze shine a brilliant silver, her mouth parted in a silent scream as I find the sweet spot that makes her lose her mind. Falling apart with my name on her lips, she's never been more stunning and I've never wanted to consume her more.

I follow her, of course. I'll always follow her.

And when we're both exhausted, both sated and smiling too wide as she drapes herself over my sweaty chest after running to the bathroom to clean up, I feel whole.

"I love you, handsome," she whispers into the dark, pressing a kiss against my racing heart.

"I love you, short stuff." My kiss lands on her forehead, a tired smile tugging at my lips because I feel the shiver that travels up her spine.

Lying there in the silence, the woman I love in my arms and our boys sleeping contentedly down the hall, my thoughts wander. Before I can chicken out, I voice the decision I've been tossing around in my mind for weeks now, but only made today.

"I want to renovate the house."

The fingers drawing mindless shapes on my stomach still. "Renovate?"

"Yeah," I sigh. "I love this house, but I want it to feel like…" _ours._

I want to get rid of the remnants of Kate that still linger in the colors on the walls and the kitchen cabinets she picked out. I want to spend hours looking at paint colors in the hardware store with Bella and have her choose what the kitchen counters should look like so that, in the future, I can teach the boys to cook in a kitchen she and I designed together. I want to help the boys with their math homework at a table she and I picked out. I want to make blanket nests with her on a sofa we tested out together.

It's too soon to ask Bella to move in permanently, I think, but I _do _want Bella to know that living together is something I'll want sooner rather than later, if she and the boys are amenable. Hell, if I didn't think she'd kill me, I'd have hired movers and had all their belongings moved down here while she was in the hospital. Thinking about asking Bella to move in leads me to imagining myself asking her another very important question; goosebumps rise over my arms and the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

_It's way too soon for _that_...isn't it?_

"Can I help? I uncovered a love of decorating I didn't know I had when I bought my house."

With a grin, I squeeze her tighter to me and nod. "I was hoping you would."

Bella lifts herself up, propping her chin on her palm with an impish smile. "I haven't said it yet, but I'm really proud of you, Edward. You've grown so much even just in the five months I've been back. Your spark is returning."

My...spark. Right.

Her soft laugh makes it pretty damn clear my confusion isn't all that hidden. "You'd lost your spark, handsome, but every day you seem a little more like yourself. I just like seeing you happy, is all."

Rolling us over so she's caged in my arms, her leg sneaking between mine and one of her hands coming to rest on my abs, I sneak a quick kiss. "It's you, Bella. _You _make me happy. You and our boys."

**~ oOo ~**

"It gives me great pleasure to welcome the new Mr. and Mrs. Swan to the room! Give the bride and groom some love, people!"

Everyone chuckles at the best man's introduction, all of us rising to our feet to applaud the blushing bride and her Cheshire-cat-grinning husband as they enter the community center. Benjamin and Angela make a stunning couple, both of them smiling so hard their cheeks must be hurting. Once they've taken their seats, we all settle back into ours and are quickly served our food.

Smirking, Sullivan leans into my space to whisper, "Does it sting that you weren't asked to cater?"

Bella, Everly, and Rosalie laugh at my vehement "Not even a little." Continuing, I add, "If Burger Co. had catered, I would have been a nervous wreck running all over the place to make sure it all went off without a hitch."

Thanking the server as she sets my food in front of me, I hum at how good it looks and offer my brother the crooked grin we share. "This way, I can chill out with my family and not have to worry about a thing."

The few of us who were roped in to help out have done a great job turning the biggest room in the bay's small community center into a beautiful reception venue. There are only fifty or so people here, almost all of them family. The tables are set up in shades of cream and white with pink accents here and there. At one end of the room, there's a small stage rigged up with speakers, a microphone, and a guitar stand for the musician when he gets here a bit later. For now, soft, romantic music is playing through the overhead speakers which have been carefully hidden behind the white bunting Charlie and I were responsible for putting up this morning.

As we all tuck into our food, my thoughts stray to the somewhat nerve-wracking conversation I had with Charlie, my eyes sliding to my left to Bella. She's crazy beautiful in her soft pink bridesmaid dress. It's got thin straps and a flappy, extra bit of floaty material that hangs over the top of her arms. It's 'extra detail,' I was told very succinctly this morning when I asked what the purpose of the material was. All three bridesmaids, Bella, Rosalie, and Everly, have their hair loose down their backs in gentle waves, their bangs pinned back off their faces, so I can see the unabashedly happy smile on my love's face as she laughs at something Finley says before switching a couple of prawns from his plate to hers, replacing them with a few scallops.

My heart aches, but not with the pain that had become so second-nature to me. Contentment and love fill me up as I set down my knife and fork for a moment, looking around at the friends who are really family.

Charlie and Renee are up on the top table with the bride and groom and Angela's parents. They're both grinning broadly at each other when I glance over.

Much to everybody's surprise, Rosalie has brought a date to the wedding today. Bryce seems like a nice enough guy, but he's brash and a little rude at times. I've already caught Bella and Everly cursing him out twice while their sister is distracted, and even Rosalie's looking irritated by him. I don't think he'll be around long.

Everly has Jaxson on one side of her, Sullivan on the other, and she's handling their craziness like a pro. "Hey, Jax, do you want to try a giant booger?" she's saying, waving an oyster in front of his scrunched-up face as I tune into their conversation, glancing at Sullivan as he bursts out laughing and falls in love with her on the spot.

Then there's Arlo between me and Sullivan. He's twisted all the way around in his chair to wave at Jude, who is on the table with a bunch of Charlie's many sisters. She hit it off with a few of them at the Halloween party, so she's more than happy sitting with them now as our table is already full. She blows Arlo a kiss and mimes eating her food so he'll get the hint to turn around and behave. When he does, he finds me watching him and grins with no shame.

"Can you help me cut this?"

Without missing a beat, Bella stresses "please" over her shoulder.

Arlo nods and rolls his eyes, but does as he's told and cheerfully thanks me once I'm done helping him with his food. "Are we gonna party after this?"

"We sure are, bud," I laugh lightly, stifling the urge to ruffle his hair. I know better than to do that after watching Bella battle his mop into submission this morning. Right now, it's still in the neat, straight waves she brushed out earlier. Give it a couple hours, and it'll either be a wild mane around his face or tied up in a messy knot on top of his head.

"Will you dance with me?"

"Uh…" Dancing isn't really my thing, but the hope in Arlo's dark eyes breaks me. Since losing his cast a couple days ago, he's making full use of his new freedom. "Sure I will."

Sullivan coughs to hide his laugh, winking at Arlo when he asks him what's up. "Nothin', little dude. You'll see later."

Unconcerned by Sullivan's cryptic response hinting at my god-awful dancing, Arlo tucks into his dinner with the enthusiasm I've come to expect from him, which leaves me free to continue people-watching.

Only, I'm busted.

Bella's eyes crinkle at the corners as she smiles, reaching over to squeeze my forearm. "Are you okay?"

_Am I okay?_

"I've never been better."

**~ oOo ~**

Benjamin and Angela's wedding day has been both relaxing and a pleasure, but there's no relief like Bella stepping into my arms as the sunset paints the sky a glorious mixture of pinks, purples, and blues, the cool breeze whipping in off the ocean a welcome balm to the heat inside.

Out here, on the deck overlooking the water, we're alone—for now.

"Dance with me," Bella demands, flashing me a smirk when I grumble a curse but take her hand in mine anyway, my other hand slipping down to rest in the curve of her waist. The faint sounds of a MAJOR song reach us through the ajar windows. I grin into Bella's hair and hum along with the hired musician, my eyes slipping closed.

"_I found love in you.  
And I've learned to love me too.  
Never have I felt that I could be all that you see.  
It's like our hearts have intertwined into the perfect harmony."_

"You sappy thing, you," Bella teases softly, twisting her fingers into the hair at the nape of my neck and tipping her face up to treat me to the stunning vista that is her eyes. They're such an unusual color, so pretty and bottomless.

"What, I'm sappy because I know the tune of a romantic song?"

"No, you're sappy because you're humming the tune and swaying us to the music," she laughs, but the soft look on her face takes any sting out of her teasing.

"Well, then I'm sappy," I agree, guiding her cheek back to my chest and tucking my chin over her crown. "Now let me be all romantic and shit, woman."

Giggling, she murmurs, "Sir, yes, Sir."

In the peace and tranquility of our unexpected solitude, I let everything fall away so nothing can detract from this moment here with Bella and nobody else as we sway together and listen to the distant rush of the ocean meeting the shore, the breeze rustling the palms.

"I'm going to miss you when we go to England next week," she whispers after the song has segued into another, this one more upbeat.

Blowing out a deep breath, there's no denying that I'm going to miss the shit out of her and the boys, too, so I don't even try. They've had this trip planned since before they moved back to Florida though, so I can't complain even if I were inclined to—which I'm not, because I know it's going to be tough saying goodbye to Jude when she flies home on Monday, a week before Bella and the boys join her for ten days in England. I'm not looking forward to it either, if I'm honest. She's been here over a month now, her steady presence not something I think any of us are ready to lose just yet.

Of course, she'll be back and not just to see us. Her new man will miss her as much as we will.

Nobody was more mortified than me two weeks ago when I stopped into Mr. Eddison's house next door, worried because I hadn't seen much of him recently, and found him and Jude 'making kissy faces,' as the boys call it. I don't think I've ever felt my cheeks burn so hot as I did while I bumbled through my apology and got the hell out of there. In the two weeks since, we've had a few dinners together and Mr. Eddison came with us to Lake Eola on Friday. They're not a couple I ever would have predicted, but they make each other happy, and that's all I can ask for my old friend and the woman who is, for all intents and purposes, another grandma to our boys.

"You could come with us," Bella finally says, squeezing me around the waist. "Burger Co. is closed for most of December, anyway. I think it's only open five days out of the ten we're away, and I'm sure Sully would love the extra money for his trip."

My mind takes off at a sprint as I attempt to work out the logistics of taking five days off to go with Bella and the boys. I've never been to England, so it would be great to experience it with them—especially at Christmas time. But does it make me a shitty boss, taking off at such short notice? Possibly. Then again, December is arguably our quietest month of the year and I know Bella's right about Sullivan wanting the hours. He's been picking up the odd shift for me whenever anyone is sick or on vacation, but he and some of his high school buddies are going skiing in January so I know he'd be grateful for a few extra days of work.

The boys make the decision for me.

The slapping of hands against glass makes Bella jump; she twists in my arms, her body shaking against mine as she laughs at their faces smushed against the windows. All three of them have lost multiple components of their tuxes and, just as I predicted a couple of hours ago, Arlo's hair is piled on top of his head in a scruffy topknot. Even so, they're adorable as fuck and I can't help but compare them to the kids I met just five months ago.

They've all grown so much. I swear they get taller and older and smarter every damn day. I already feel like I miss stuff on the days they spend at their house instead of mine. Bella and I came to an agreement that weekdays would be spent at her place, weekends at mine, at least until the renovations are all done. I've already ripped out half of the kitchen, unwilling to put it off when I just want Kate out of my damn house already. Once that's done, we'll revisit the topic of them moving in with me. In hindsight, asking on Thanksgiving morning just before we all left to go spend the day at Charlie and Renee's probably wasn't my best or brightest idea, but I don't want to wait. I don't want to waste a minute of time I could be spending with the people I love the most—and Max, of course. I spent too long wallowing in grief and loneliness to put off the happiness I know I can have with Bella and the boys.

With that in mind, I realize I don't want to miss seeing Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo light up when Jude and Bella take them to the Christmas markets back in England. I want to be there when they take them to see Santa at the grotto they've been going to ever since the twins were born. I don't want to miss seeing the lights getting switched on at the park where Bella, Jude, and the boys will pick out Jude's Christmas tree.

"Okay."

Twisting to look up at me, Bella frowns. "'Okay,' what?"

"Okay, I'll come with you. If you're sure."

Instead of answering, or I suppose her actions are answer enough, she turns and grabs my face in both of her hands, tugging me down so we're forehead to forehead, nose to nose. "You will? You'll come with us?"

"I will," I chuckle. "I don't want to miss all the holiday stuff with you and the boys, even though we'll probably do a bunch of it again here with everybody else. You guys are my family. I want to be where you are, and if that's England…" I shrug, smiling at her teary-eyed grin. "If Jude has room for one more, I'll get online tomorrow and see what tickets are still available."

Once she gets over her initial rush of excitement, Bella announces that she needs to go tell Jude and heads for the door as Sullivan throws it open, loudly declaring it 'too fucking mushy in there.' The musician has switched to a more romantic tone again; I can see numerous couples dancing closely together and Bella immediately orders me to come inside in a few minutes so she can give me a twirl on the dancefloor.

"Yes, dear," I tease, shooting her a wink and a smirk as she blows me a kiss and slips inside.

Sullivan rolls his eyes and pretends to gag as he sidles over to join me. "Did you do it yet?"

Cursing under my breath, I lightly tap the back of his head and bump him with my shoulder when he just laughs and leans against the wooden railing around the edge of the deck. "No, you ass. I wish I hadn't even told you I was thinking about it."

"Thinking about it, schminking about it. You're gonna propose and you know it."

I find myself fighting a shit-eating grin, because, yeah, I've decided that I'm gonna propose to Bella.

I've been alone for six years. That's a long time to think you'll never find love again, to think you don't care if you spend the rest of your life wallowing in self-pity and misery. But it's not true. I have found it, and I don't ever want to lose it or let it go. She's only been back in my life for six months and dating for even less than that, but she's it for me.

I want to be able to call Bella my wife, if she'll have me as her husband.

"I spoke to Charlie this morning," I admit, able to smile about it now I have his blessing. I was probably more nervous than Benjamin and Angela this morning when I decided to broach the topic with him while we were here, setting up the last few decorations.

"_Where'd you think this should go? Here?"_

_Rubbing my freshly trimmed beard, I take a big step back and shake my head. "A little to your right. There we go. It's level with the other end now, see?"_

_Charlie pins the end of the bunting, climbing down from the stepladder with a muttered curse. If it weren't for the tiny smile on his face, I'd think he was hating this. "I can't believe I'm here doing manual labor on my firstborn's wedding day." Pointing a finger at me with a suddenly serious expression, he frowns. "Don't you be getting any ideas, EC. This is it, this is the last damn wedding for a good while, and I'm absolutely not spending my girls' wedding days pinning up mini fuckin' flags."_

_Barking a nervous laugh, I rake a hand through my hair and grimace. Sweaty, gross. "Well, about that…"_

_Charlie's eyes widen. He throws his hands out, backing away from me. "Oh, no. You're kidding!"_

"_I'm not in any rush, Charlie, but Bella's it for me. There's gonna be a day sometime in the future when I'm gonna ask for your permission to ask Bella a certain question, and you know I'm a stubborn jackass."_

_Muttering something unintelligible, he grabs his soda from the table near him and downs the rest. Then he shakes his head and strides over to me, his dark eyes narrowed. "Have you got a ring?"_

"_No, not yet." Reaching up to squeeze his shoulder, I smile. "Like I said, I'm in no rush, and neither is she. But I just thought you'd appreciate the heads up."_

"_Well, we'll see how you feel in twenty years when some girl is shacking up with one of the boys," he grumbles, heading back to his ladder._

_I laugh quietly, getting back to work untangling the ribbons of bunting, but after a little while Charlie calls my name. Looking up, I find him trying to hold back a grin. "For what it's worth, you've got it."_

"_Got what?"_

_Rolling his eyes, he turns back to the bunting he's attempting to pin up. "My permission, asshole. Don't make me spell it out for you. I know you're not that stupid. My daughter chose you, after all."_

_No, I think to myself with the goofiest of grins. She didn't just choose me. She saved me._

Brought back to the present by Sullivan asking how Charlie took it, I feel my lips curling up into a nervous smile as I toss an arm around my little brother and gaze out at the sun sinking below the horizon. One day, probably soon, I'm going to ask the woman I love more than life itself if she'll tie herself to me for the rest of our sunsets.

There's just one thing I need before I can do that.

"I need your help with something before I go to England with Bella and the boys next week," I admit, waving him off when he snorts and tells me he knew I'd end up going.

It's possible I told Charlie a little white lie when I said I'm not in any rush to make an honest woman of his daughter, but I didn't want to freak him out, especially not on his son's wedding day.

"I'm gonna go pick out a ring."

* * *

***sigh* I'd spend all my sunsets with our sweet EC, would you? **


	32. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

_**Bella**_

Silence, my old friend.

With a quiet sigh, I fold my arms over my chest and lean in the doorway of the boys' room at Edward's house—or 'Home 2' as Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo have dubbed it.

We've had a busy day, so all three of them are sound asleep in their beds, Max pretending to sleep on the rug in the middle of the room so I don't kick him out. After the catastrophe he and Arlo caused in the bathroom the other morning—wet paper towels and lotion is all I'm saying—he's no longer allowed to sleep up here with the boys.

His ears perk up and his eyes pop open, giving him away as a pair of warm, strong arms slip around my waist and a kiss lands on the skin of my shoulder bared by the gaping neck of the stolen Gators tee I'm wearing.

"Hey," Edward whispers, giving me a light squeeze. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I was just thinking about everything I still need to do before tomorrow."

We're leaving on the 3:05 flight out of Jacksonville tomorrow afternoon, currently expecting to land in London at around 7:00 a.m. their time.

So far, I've got the boys mostly packed but not even touched my own suitcase, and don't even get me started on where I've hidden Jude's gifts. I know they're here somewhere, but where _exactly _is anybody's guess. At least I don't have to worry about Max as he's staying right here; Sullivan has the dubious pleasure of watching him while Edward and I take the boys to England for ten days.

The to-do list is a little overwhelming and my time to get it done is dwindling fast, but watching the boys sleep is one of my favorite things to do.

Silence is golden, after all.

Of course, ever-prepared Edward has had his bags packed for days. I've lost count of the times he's checked his hand luggage today alone. Lord knows why, because he's been very specific about nobody touching it and messing up his packing.

"Come on, come to bed. I'll help with all that in the morning."

To be honest, it never takes much cajoling for Edward to get me into bed. With a gentle tug toward the room I'm quickly adjusting to calling 'ours,' he has me.

Whistling softly, I make sure Max is following us before succumbing to Edward's will and letting him guide me down the hall. There, we help each other remove our clothes before falling into bed, Max settling on his cushion in the corner without any prompting.

Both exhausted from working and then attempting to keep the boys somewhat calm for the afternoon and evening before our big trip, neither of us initiates sex tonight. Instead, we kiss unhurriedly, languidly, until I curl up against his chest and whisper my "I love you" over his heart.

~ **oOo ~**

True to his word, Edward does help me get everything ready the next morning.

The boys are crazy, but that's to be expected. Max obviously picks up on their abundance of excitement so we quickly have three hyper boys and around a hundred pounds of sloppy-tongued, waggy-tailed dog to deal with, all while trying to make sure we have everything we need.

By the time we make it to the airport and get all our bags checked, I'm exhausted; it's not even noon.

"Can we go look at the stores?" Jaxson asks, spinning his cap so the bill is at the back.

"Sure, but how about some lunch first, yeah?" Edward suggests, scooping him up to sit on his shoulders. "How does Chili's sound?"

We're all in agreement, so that's where we head. By sheer dumb luck, we manage to snag a table right away, settling in to eat our Mexican food. Twin sighs of relief rush from me and Edward, while the boys are still just stoked to be going on a plane and getting to see Jude again.

Thankfully, everything goes perfectly to plan. We eat our lunch, goof around in one of the pop-up photo booths that's been erected in the shopping mall area, and meander through some of the stores until the boys start to whine they're bored and want to go watch the planes.

By then, we can see our boarding gate on the big screen, so we head there and take videos of the boys 'moonwalking' on the moving walkways to send to the family. Dumping our carry-on bags on the seats, Edward and I crouch by the enormous windows overlooking the runway and snap photos of Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo expressing their awe at the large aircrafts.

"Look, Momma! There's all our bags!"

"I hope not," I laugh. "That's not our plane, kiddo. If they put our bags on there we'll have no clothes to wear when we get to England."

Arlo's eyes light with mischief. "Ooh, can we—"

"No," Edward and I say together, shaking our heads and sharing fond smiles of teasing exasperation. Miniature nudist-in-training, I've said it before and I'll say it again.

Nonplussed, he continues pointing to the planes with his brothers until Finley tells me that he needs to pee. "C'mon, kiddo. Do either of you need to use the restroom?"

"I'm good," Jaxson sings, Arlo agreeing with him. Neither of them bother turning to look at me, too interested in the guys using a giant, extending staircase to inspect something on one of the planes.

"All right. C'mon, little face."

Finley is my least dithery dude. He sings quietly to himself as we join the line, and when we finally get into the restrooms he just does his business and gets out of there. The line seems to have dried up, so it's noticeable when the door of the cubicle at the end swings open with a squeak and a pair of heels click-clack on the parquet as Finley starts washing his hands.

Glancing up with a polite smile, I find myself doing a double-take.

_It can't be._

Her ice-blue eyes widen a little before narrowing. I know she's recognized me when her red lips curve into a small smile. "Bella? Little Bella Swan?"

"All-grown-up Bella Swan," I correct her tightly, forcing a smile even though my stomach is rolling. I'm glad that my voice doesn't give away my turmoil when I speak. "It's been years, Kate."

I'd love to say she looks haggard and unkempt, but it would be a lie. She's impeccably dressed in a wrinkle-free pantsuit, her blonde hair tied back in a sleek ponytail. Apart from a couple more creases in her forehead, she doesn't look any older than she did six years ago when I last saw her.

The day before she took Edward's wounded heart and stomped all over it.

All my instincts are telling me to grab the evil bitch by her hair and toss her on her ass, and it's only Finley's presence that reminds me to keep my cool.

Her eyebrows lift a little; she's obviously picked up on my obvious disdain for her existence. Good. "Well...it's nice to see you."

"Mmhmm. C'mon, Finn."

"But Momma, my hands aren't dry."

"They can drip dry, come on."

Hustling to get away while my son probably wonders when his momma turned into a crazy person, I suck in a deep breath as soon as we're out of the restroom and steamroll back toward our gate.

_Shit. _I need to tell Edward.

The entire area has filled up with other passengers getting ready to board, so Finley and I have to wind through the crowds to get back to the windows overlooking the runway. There, we find Edward sitting cross-legged on the floor, our bags around him, with Arlo and Jaxson chattering away in his lap. If it weren't for the fact that my heart is racing after my little encounter with Kate in the restrooms, I'd stop to take a photo of the adorable sight. Instead, I inhale another calming breath as Finley rushes over to join them, then I take a moment to plaster what I hope is a convincing smile on my face just as Finley reaches Edward and he turns around to offer me a crooked grin.

I'm about to wipe that smile right off his face when it disappears of its own accord, his grass-green eyes narrowing at something behind me.

I know exactly what, or who, he's looking at.

Spinning around, I come face to face with Kate for the second time today. This time, she looks less pleasantly surprised, more confused as hell. I have to say, I'm a little confused myself.

"Did you follow us?"

"Follow you…" I hear Edward say, vaguely aware of him standing up behind me as I frown at Kate.

"You're here, together?" she murmurs, looking between the two of us with a knot between her perfectly manicured brows. I see her eyes bounce down, to the boys, then back up to us. "Are they—"

"Hi! I'm Arlo Maxwell Swan. What's your name?"

With a mental facepalm, I grab Arlo by the hood of his sleeveless sweater before he can approach Kate and hold him in front of me as her expression turns calculating. "Swan." She meets my gaze. "Your son?"

Nodding I rest my free hand on Finley's head as he leans against my legs, Jaxson slipping his hand into the pocket of Edward's cargo shorts. A warm, strong hand coming to rest on my waist brings a tiny smile to my lips, though. Leaning slightly into Edward's side, I feel an almost sick sense of satisfaction as I watch Kate's confusion transform first into surprise, then into realisation.

"_Our _sons," Edward corrects, ruffling Jaxson's hair when he looks up to flash him a silly-sweet smile. With a sigh, Edward turns his attention back to his ex-wife.

Knowing what I know now, knowing how badly she hurt him, I can't help but wonder what he feels when he looks at her, or how he can stand to be near her. It's taking all I have just to resist punching her right in the immaculately-made-up face.

"What are you doing here, Kate? You hate Florida."

Opening and closing her mouth like a fish, she finally scoops her jaw off the floor long enough to clear her throat and straighten her already-straight jacket. "I'm just passing through. I...I have a business trip in Paris." Shaking her head, she steps closer.

_Woah, bitch. Not so fast._

Adjusting my stance, I make sure she knows she isn't welcome. Her expression hardens.

"Let me get this straight..._you two_? You're _together?_" She doesn't wait for either of us to answer her, instead cackling a too-loud laugh that gives away the tremble in her hard-faced veneer. "This is priceless! You couldn't keep a wife your own age so you settled for a younger model who wouldn't know better. That's just like you, Eddie—"

I swore to myself that I wouldn't land my butt in jail on her account, but there's no way I can ignore that.

Stepping around my sons, I hear Edward tell them to run and look at the big plane about to take off just as I get right up in Kate's face. She's got a couple inches on me, but she doesn't scare me. Especially not when her eyes widen and she swallows hard.

"Now you listen, and listen well. That man is lightyears above you in every goddamn way. You're nothing but a cruel, vindictive bitch, and if you think I'm going to stand here and let you get away with talking to him like that, you can think again." Anger ignites my veins as I replay what she did on a loop in my mind. "I know what you did, Kate. I know you cheated, lied, and then waited until the worst possible time to kick Edward while he was down."

If I were a cartoon, there would be steam pouring from my ears.

Her lips twitch as she shifts her feet, looking over my shoulder as if Edward is going to save her. "Who do you think you are?"

"She's the woman I love, and you'll do well to remember that."

There's no rebuffing the hard timbre of Edward's voice. Kate visibly shrinks under the weight of his glower, her eyes darting down to the arm he wraps loosely around my waist—presumably to hold me in place. I've never been a hot-head, but I can be fierce when those I love are concerned, and this woman is just begging for a high-speed train or some shit.

"You made your choice, Kate. You don't get to talk shit about mine. If you don't like it, fine. You didn't have to come over here and cause trouble in front of the boys."

The boarding call for passengers with children on our flight bongs over the speaker, cutting short a conversation likely to land me in airport security or worse.

Kate scowls, shaking her head at us. "You always were a fool. She'll just be using you and she'll ditch you when she gets bored."

_I _laugh at that. "Don't project your own behaviors onto others. Not everybody is like you."

Turning on my heel as her face gets increasingly red, I call the boys over and reach for my bag. A bigger hand beats me to it, a tender but hard kiss landing on my forehead.

"Thank you," Edward murmurs, his eyes dark and wary. "Nobody…" he pauses to blow out a big breath, raking a hand through his hair. "Nobody has ever stuck up for me like that."

My heart feels like it's beating in my ears. "I love you, Edward. I'm on your side."

As he chuckles and ducks his head to kiss me properly, eliciting the usual squealed groans from the boys, I catch Kate's steaming-mad expression before she turns on her heel and find myself smiling into the kiss.

_That's right, bitch. He's mine._

**~ oOo ~**

"Hell, I don't know where they get their energy," Edward huffs when we finally fall into bed hours later.

The flight was _long_, the boys bored after a few hours. There's only so much movies and coloring books can cure when you're basically confined to a single seat for more than nine hours, so I spend the first half of the flight praying the boys are this good the whole time and the last half tempted to throw myself out of the emergency exit just to escape their whining. By the time we get to London, I'm ready to crawl into the nearest bed and sleep for three days, I'm that over travelling.

Except bedtime doesn't come for hours, the boys too excited to be back with Nanny Jude in their old stomping grounds. Edward copes beautifully with their second burst of energy so I let him take the reins while I just count the minutes until I can tuck our little terrors into bed for the night.

"That would be the copious amounts of sugar Jude so helpfully handed out today," I mutter as I pull on my stolen Gators tee before wiggling my way under the covers and tucking my cold feet between Edward's warm calves. He hisses, but my legs wrapped around his prevent him from moving away. Eyeing me, his face partially lit by the dim bedside lamp, he purses his lips.

"'Scuse me, but how is this a fair situation? Your feet are freezing!"

"I _know_," I exclaim, trying not to laugh. "That's why you're gonna warm them up for me." Pouting just a little, I wiggle closer and press a few teasing kisses against the solid expanse of sexy chest in front of me. "Pretty, pretty please, handsome?"

"_Fuck's sake_," he whisper-chuckles, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me closer. "You're a witch, I swear. Come here, short stuff."

It's a good job I am short, too, because the pullout in Jude's living room is barely big enough for a flea. The boys have the spare bedroom upstairs, so for the duration of our stay, Edward and I will be somewhat squished on the sofa-bed down here. It's not too bad if we stick close together, but then _my _feet don't hang off the end of the bed.

"My calves aren't even on the bed," he admits quietly when I ask if he's comfy.

Snorting, I try to quiet my overtired mind and let the familiar scents and sounds of Jude's living room calm me. A bone-rattling yawn leaves my eyes watering as Edward pulls me against his chest and presses a gentle kiss on the top of my head. Almost every part of me is aching for him...except the part that's pure exhaustion and desperate for sleep. That one is winning.

I also happen to know that the boys are likely to be awake way sooner than we'd like, thanks to their excitement and messed-up schedules.

"I love you, handsome, but the best you can hope for tonight is a cheeky grope, I'm afraid."

Chuckling into my hair, he lets me twist until he's spooning me, my feet tucked between the warmth of his calves, my back against the steady thrum of his strong heart. "Are you settled?"

"Mmhmm," I hum, already halfway asleep but not enough not to smile when he glides his warm palm over my hip, the curve of my waist, and up to my breast, leaving it there with a contented sigh as he follows me into unconsciousness.

**~ oOo ~**

Our first few days in England are a total whirlwind.

We spend day one recuperating from our long day and night of travelling, eating breakfast in our pajamas in Jude's little kitchen that looks like a gingham factory vomited all over it. I'd forgotten how much I like her eclectic decor style; the loud, familiar patterns feel like home in an odd, nostalgic kind of way. When we finally do get dressed and venture out, it's just to visit the park at the end of the street. Tugwell Park isn't much to write home about, really—just a swingset, a roundabout, and a little toddler climbing frame on the side of a field popular with dog walkers and kids playing football. As it happens, we aren't the only ones to be using the tiny playground when we amble down there after lunch, leaving Jude to head out for a doctor's appointment she couldn't reschedule.

As Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo push through the gate, they spot a familiar, dark head of hair just as I do.

"Hey! It's you guys!"

The little girl runs over, hair billowing in the breeze and cheeks rosy from the cold, but skids to a stop a few steps away. She's just as sweet and shy as before we left, it seems.

"Hi, Marley," Jaxson says, unexpectedly bashful.

"A friend of yours?" Edward asks quietly as Marley's mom guides her toddler son away from the roundabout toward us, a smile on her face and her boyfriend at her back. Even now, even after having known Indie Ashby for a year or so before we moved out to Florida, I can't help but admire the heck out of her.

"Sort of," I admit, watching her pause to say 'hi' to the boys. "Jax and Finn were in the year below her daughter at school and they used to play together a lot, so we had a few after-school playdates. The big guy with her, that's Laker, her boyfriend." Biting my lip for a moment, I quickly add, "If she's a bit wary of you, don't be offended. She and her friend were kidnapped from around here as kids, they got back a couple years ago. Sometimes she's leery of strangers. "

"Long time, no see!" Indie laughs as she pulls me in for a hug, her boyfriend Laker lifting their son into his arms as he extends a hand to introduce himself to Edward, who makes a conscious effort to be relaxed and soft-spoken. "How've you all been? It's quiet around here without you guys."

"It's been...different," I admit with a soft laugh of my own, eyeing Edward fawning over little Bodhi. "Man, this little guy has grown! It's only been six months. What have you been feeding him?"

"I eat l-lots of v-v-_vegetables,_" Bodhi tells me seriously, his adorable stutter as endearing as ever.

"You do? Well, that's great!"

Before we know it, we've talked ourselves into meeting up to go see Santa with them. It isn't until we're waving goodbye a little while later, them heading right out of the playground while we turn left, that I realize how much I actually missed my friend.

As promised, we do meet up a couple of days later with Indie, Laker, Marley, and Bodhi at Santa's Grotto. Jude tags along, too, and we have a grand time in the elf photo booth and seeing 'Santa.' Predictably, Arlo and Jaxson are more than happy to clamber onto the old guy's lap while Finley hangs back. Still, I manage to get a great photo of the three of them before one of the overly-chipper elves offers to take one with me and Edward in it, too.

As ridiculous as we both feel, posing with an old guy dressed as Santa in what is effectively just a shed with some fake snow nailed to the roof and a few strings of fairy lights strung up inside, there's nothing like the magic of seeing the boys' faces light up as they recount the entire experience to us later on, inviting us into their world of imagination and belief like only kids can.

Day two is spent showing Edward around the town the boys called home for the first years of their lives. We huddle under blankets and eat ice cream on the pier, the seagulls swooping overhead and the sun rushing below our feet. The boys insist on showing Edward their old school and nursery, so we walk by there and he humors them by listening intently as they point out their classrooms through the perimeter fence. For dinner, we fetch battered fish and thick, salt-and-vinegared fries—or chips, as the Brits call them—and eat it from the paper around Jude's tiny kitchen table.

By day five in England, I'm starting to wonder if Edward regrets coming with us.

He's engaged and playful with the boys, but with me, he seems...off. It's something about the way he looks at me, the intense, nervous energy he transfers into my body with every touch.

It only worsens on day six when we cross the halfway point in our vacation and Finley hesitantly brings up his dad over breakfast.

"Are we gonna see him?"

I wish I could tell him 'yes.' I wish I could say his dad has jumped at the chance to see him and his brothers now we're so close.

I wish Dick Holder could put his sons first for a change.

But wishes don't always come true, and just like always, I'm the one left to break their hearts.

Setting down my coffee, I crouch next to Finley and cup his sweet face. The saddest thing is, I can already tell he knows what I'm going to say. "I'm sorry, kiddo. I called him yesterday and he's out of town until after we're gone." Gazing at Arlo and Jaxson, neither of them look surprised.

Blowing out a big breath, Finley shrugs and smiles weakly. "That's okay. I figured we wouldn't."

As they sullenly tuck back into their breakfasts, I follow Edward's frown and lean against his chest, my arms sliding around his waist as I suck in a shuddery breath full of anger at Richard and sadness for my brave little boys.

"Is he really out of town?" Edward whispers, too softly for the boys to hear.

Biting my lip, I shake my head slightly. "He said he's too busy. His girlfriend's family is in town."

Edward's quiet curse goes unnoticed by the boys, but not Jude. I catch her slight headshake and mouth that we'll talk later.

Thankfully, the boys perk back up when we remind them that we're going to watch the Christmas tree lights get switched on at Hampden Park tonight. Bouncing in his seat, Arlo asks if that means he can wear his new sweater.

Frowning, I mentally run through the clothes I packed for him and come up short. "I don't know, kiddo. What new sweater?"

With weirdly wide eyes, Edward quickly grabs Arlo from his seat. "I know the one he means. I'll find it, don't worry."

After watching them rush out of the room, Jaxson and Finley hot on their heels, I turn to Jude. "Any idea what the heck that was all about?"

She looks just as confused as I feel. "I have no idea," she says with a shrug. "They're up to something, I'll bet."

Too amused that all my boys are in on a secret that I'm not, I push my worry from my mind.

**~ oOo ~**

_Finally_, after what feels like a century of nagging and hurrying them along, Edward and the boys rush down the stairs just as Jude honks the horn out front.

More than a little exasperated, I shoot Edward the look the boys have dubbed the 'Mom-brow.'

"Sorry, sorry," he grins, planting a quick kiss on my lips as he, Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo hustle out onto the driveway. "We're ready now."

Eyeing the flushed tips of his ears and the glassy green of his eyes, I can't help but be irritated that we're running late so I can't ask him what's got him looking so goofy.

Grabbing my hips to stop me before we step outside, he sighs and offers me his handsome crooked grin complete with a slight head tilt that just wrecks me. "I love you."

_Bastard._

"I'm trying to be mad at you," I point out half-heartedly, unable to stifle my smile when he just chuckles and leads the way outside.

"I know, and that's okay. You're cute when you're mad."

"Uh oh, is Momma being a meanie?" Arlo asks as Edward helps him into the back of the car. Jaxson and Finley get to ride way in the back, leaving me and Arlo in the middle and Edward up front with Jude in the passenger seat.

"She sure is. She's telling me off," he admits, shooting me a wink.

As I climb in beside Arlo, he shakes his head at me and raises one eyebrow. "Not cool, Momma."

"All right, pipe down, kiddo. Get buckled up."

The drive to the park doesn't take long, but it takes a hot second to find a parking spot. Just as we swing into a space barely big enough for the minivan, Arlo reaches over to tap my arm.

"Look, Momma. This is your reward chart, 'kay?"

"Uh, _okay_…" I laugh, leaning over a little to see better. He's drawn three columns on the Etch A Sketch he found in the pocket of the seat in front of him. It looks just like the reward charts I have for him and his brothers back home. In the column on the left, there's a big cross.

"This is your first cross, all right? If you get two more crosses this week, you don't get a treat."

All this is said with as straight a face as I've ever seen on my little goofball. He huffs like I'm annoying him when all I can do is laugh.

"What did I get that cross for, can I ask?"

"Well, _duh_, for being a meanie to Easy."

"Oh, right, of course," I nod, attempting to look serious. Jude and Edward don't help my cause by laughing their heads off up front. "Well, I'll do my best not to get any more crosses, then. Can I ask what my treat will be?"

He thinks on it for a moment before shaking his head. "Nope. It's a secret."

With that out of the way and the car now parked half a mile away from where we actually need to be, we haul ass across the park. There are people everywhere, but it makes me grin when Edward beats me to the punch, warning the boys to stay close and reaffirming his strengthening role as a father to our little trio. It's new and exciting and also a little nerve-wracking, but it's beautiful to see. I know Jude agrees with me when she loops her arm through mine.

"Daddyhood looks great on him," she whispers.

I couldn't agree more.

The smell of popcorn and pretzels reaches us before we hit the main area, strings of multi-colored lights strung up all around the stalls providing food, drink, and all kinds of light-up paraphernalia. As is tradition, Jude gets the boys light-up reindeer ears and a pretzel each to nibble on while she, Edward, and I nurse warm mulled wine from paper to-go cups. Everywhere I look there are smiling faces, fluffy bobble hats, and twinkling lights. I've been coming here for the switching on ceremony ever since I came to England almost a decade ago, only this time, I'm lucky enough to be here with not only my boys, but also with the man I love. It's beautiful.

"Can we go closer to the tree, Momma?" Jaxson asks around a big bite of his pretzel.

Most people are still just milling around, so I decide it's probably wise to beat the rush and head closer so the boys will be able to get a good view when the lights are switched on. Sticking together so none of us get lost, we manage to snag a prime spot right by the low rope around the big tree. The podium where the mayor of Eastbourne will stand to press the button is kind of hard to see, but it doesn't really matter. We're here for the atmosphere and the lights anyway.

We still have a few minutes, so I sip my mulled wine and revel in the warmth that spreads through my body as I watch Edward crouch to talk quietly with the boys.

He really is brilliant with them. The changes in him in the last six months are vast but I love him all the more for making them. He still attends his monthly therapy sessions and he still has a tendency to keep his feelings bottled up, but instead of sticking a cork in them, he waits until the boys are tucked up in bed and we have some private time to work through whatever is bothering him. Instead of shutting people out, he's working on letting them in. His strained relationship with his parents is mending, his unwillingness to share his life with others shifting to the degree that he now arranges to have friends over without my prompting. He even hosted a boys' night with Dad, Benjamin, Sullivan, Jasper, Garrett, and Jones last month.

I'm so proud of him it makes my chest ache, and so in love with him it sometimes steals my breath.

By some people's standards, six months isn't a long amount of time for a couple to date before becoming serious, but I don't need somebody else's predetermined schedule to tell me that Edward is all I want. He's not only good for me, he's great for the boys, and he loves us all as much as we adore him. In six months, a year, or ten, there will never be a man who fits our little family as perfectly.

"Oh, look! Here he comes." Jude nudges me, redirecting the boys' attention toward the mayor, who is now standing by the podium. Too busy looking at Edward still crouching with the boys around him, Arlo's little arm around his neck, I miss most of what the mayor says.

It was a year ago next month that I made the decision to move myself and the boys to Florida. I never in a million years would have predicted _this _back then. I never anticipated my high school crush returning full-force. I never anticipated falling for Edward and having him fall for me in return. I couldn't have dreamed up the beautiful bond he shares with the boys. It flourishes more and more every day, their love for each other something I never would have believed possible if somebody had tried to tell me what awaited us in Florida.

Suddenly, I'm momentarily blinded by thousands of lights illuminating against the inky backdrop of the clear night sky. The crowd cheers but it's muffled by my realisation that this is just the first of many wonderful experiences I'm going to enjoy with Edward and the boys.

Watching them together now, their faces lit by wonder and fairy lights, I'm so dumbstruck by the sheer magnificence of it all that I miss Jude sneaking the boys away. "Bella," Edward murmurs, slipping his fingers between mine. Gazing up at his gentle smile, the fairy lights twinkling in his eyes, I know I'm incredibly lucky to be able to call him 'mine.' "Come with me."

Confused but not unwilling, I let him pull me a few feet away before realizing the boys are no longer hanging over the rope to get closer to the tree.

He shoots me a grin over his shoulder. "Jude has them covered. Come on."

I can't see Jude _or_ the boys, so I just have to trust Edward as he leads me away from the big tree, Christmas classics playing through speakers hung from trees and the warmth of his touch spreading through me.

_What are you up to? _I wonder as we break free of the main crowd, cutting around the big lake that acts as the centerpiece of Hampden Park. The woodchip path crunches underfoot, already frosty. As we meander under the trees that cover the path, I catch brief glimpses of stars between the heavy clouds and realize it's fairly likely we'll get snow overnight. A smile curls my lips at the thought of getting to see the boys' excitement if we wake up to a blanket of white outside. It's the one thing I'll miss about winters here in England—we don't get snow in Florida. That crisp smell of fresh snow and the slight burn of freezing air is definitely not something we'll experience in Jackson Bay.

I squeeze Edward's hand to get his attention just as we round a bend, words drying on my tongue as the glimmer of fairy lights ahead captures my focus. It takes a couple of seconds for me to realize that the three little shadows with light-up reindeer ears underneath the tree strung with lights are the boys, Jude's silhouette just off to one side. She's beaming, but I don't have time to think about why.

"Is it time to take these off now, Edward?" Grinning wide, Jaxson and Finley flank Arlo as they fumble with their zippers, finally shucking their mittens off to unzip their jackets.

Coming to my senses, I frown and hurry closer, towing Edward by the hand. "It's cold, baby. Keep your jackets on—"

"They're okay, short stuff," Edward interrupts gently, his beautiful grass-green eye shining as he reaches up to stroke my cheek.

There's something...something odd in his tone, in the way he's looking at me. I can't look away.

Then Arlo coughs pointedly and Jaxson giggles as Finley calls my name. Glancing sideways at the three of them, I realize they didn't put on the sweaters I picked out—not even Arlo with the dabbing reindeer sweater he chose in Target.

Jaxson and Finley are wearing matching white sweaters, big red letters spelling out 'Team Edward'—one word for each of them. And Arlo…

His sweater is a bright, Christmas red. My brain slowly starts to catch up with what my eyes are reading as I hear Edward shifting behind me.

"Arlo…" I breathe, the collision of my warm breath meeting the cool December air creating a fog that only makes it harder to see the writing. "What...what does your shirt say?"

He flashes me a toothy grin, looking at Edward. My gaze stumbles over the words on his shirt before I twist to face Edward. All my breath rushes from my lungs, tears filling my eyes.

No longer standing beside me, he's shifted onto one knee.

In his trembling hand, he's holding a small box.

In the slight curve of his smile, I see the man I've crushed on for close to twenty years.

In the grass-green of his eyes, I see a man who has overcome so much to be here today.

And in the words printed on our boys' sweaters, I see my future—_our_ future.

"I've made a lot of momentous decisions under willow trees, Bella."

I gasp, only now realizing exactly what kind of tree we're standing under. "_Willow…_"

Edward's eyes are glassy as he nods, his smile wide. "She's here, and I know she'd be kicking my butt to get on with it already." His voice is thick with emotion when he continues. "She loved you, Bella. And she would have loved her little brothers."

"_Oh, God,_" I croak, dashing tears from my cheeks.

I can see her. I can see Willow with her messy, sunny blonde pigtails, bright green eyes, and ladybug rain boots.

"_Look, Bella! Ladybugs!" Willow squeals, bouncing as I laugh and pluck her from Edward's arms. I'm watching her today while Edward and Kate work; knowing that got me through the surprise algebra test Mr. Garner threw at us last period._

_Edward chuckles, his crooked grin popping as his baby girl kicks her legs to show off her new boots. It's the height of summer, so sandals would be more appropriate, but not for Miss Willow. She dances to her own beat._

"_So pretty!" I tell her, spinning around because it makes her giggle and she's too freaking cute when her nose scrunches up with her belly-laughs._

I can see her now, standing with her arms around the boys and a toothy smile on her face, so I wholeheartedly believe Edward when he says she's here with us.

"I loved her, too," I sniffle.

"I know." Edward breathes in deeply through his nose, his lips still curved in the handsome smile I've loved for two thirds of my life. "Bella Swan, I see home in your eyes and love in your beautiful smile. I spent years feeling like I'd be alone forever. Then you came along." His voice breaks, he clears his throat into his fist, and I feel the last of my walls crumbling into dust. "You and our boys give me a reason to get up every day. Because of you, I have something I never dared dream I could have again. A family."

"Christ, Edward. What are you doing to me?" I sort of laugh-cry, wiping my cheek on my shoulder. Slowly, I lower myself onto my knees. I don't care about the cold ground as I cradle Edward's beard-covered jaw with shaky hands.

His smile widens. "I wasn't looking to fall in love, but at some point, you aimed those gorgeous gray eyes at me and smiled, and _holy shit_, did I blow it. I read this quote…'and in the middle of my chaos, there was you.' I know this has all been a whirlwind and it's fast by some people's standards, but it's us, Bella. It's you and me and these crazy little boys, and I want it to carry on being us, forever." Closing his eyes for a moment, he stuns me breathless when he opens them again. The sheer intensity of love shining back at me is flawless and fathomless. "Look at Arlo's shirt, Bella."

"You're such a cheater," I whisper around the lump in my throat. "You're supposed to ask the question yourself, not get our four-year-old to do it."

"Well," he chuckles, opening the ring box with a quiet _click_. I can't drag my eyes away from his face to look at its contents. "I figured you can never say 'no' to Arlo, so…"

Shaking my head as the boys giggle, I set my own smile free. "As if I could ever say 'no' yo you, either."

His eyes widen, the fairy lights twisted between the branches of the willow tree illuminating the hope burning within them. "Does that...are you saying…"

"Momma," Arlo finally explodes, too excited as he and his brothers close the gap between us. "_Will _you marry Edward? Tell us, or I'm gonna give you another cross on your chart."

There's only one answer, really. I definitely don't want another cross on my reward chart, although I don't know what could be a better treat than this.

"_Yes_," I breathe, overcome with the magnitude of that one little word. "Yes, I'll marry you."

I hear Jude's whoop and the boys' cheers, but it's Edward's sigh of relief as he slams his lips against mine and swoops me into his arms like something out of a fairytale that hits me right in the heart.

Pulling back with a silly giggle and tears pouring freely over our cheeks, I cup his precious face in my hands and realize...that's exactly what this is. The exact thing I never knew I was looking for, but managed to find anyway.

My fairytale happily ever after.

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**...well, there we go. We made it. A bunch of you guessed he'd propose in England...did any of you see it going down this way? Willow had to be incorporated, of course.**

**I need to say a few "thank you's": to ****all the wonderful ladies who've helped as prereaders and sounding boards throughout the writing process; to the incomparable **annaharding**, for always being there when I'm stuck and for catching all my silly errors; and to every single one of you who has read, reviewed, and recommended this story. Under The Willows has been an absolute dream to write and came so, so easily that it sort of stunned me, but not as much as the amazing reaction it's had from all of you. I can't thank you enough for loving these characters as much as I do.**

**May, I hope you caught the line inspired by your thoughts on Kate ;)**

**Any of my usual readers...did you catch the little Easter eggs? A few of my older characters made a cameo appearance in this chapter.**

**Although I don't currently have any other new fics in the works, I do have another exciting announcement coming soon. For that, please join me in my reader group on Facebook—CiaraShayee's Subconscious.**

**And as far as a sequel goes...I'd keep your eyes on the group above.**


	33. the waves of hope

**If you're already in my reader group on Facebook-CiaraShayee's Subconscious-you'll already have seen this, but for those who haven't...  
Grab your floaties and get ready to support our little family, because the waves of hope are about to get real bumpy.**

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**Waves of Hope**

The doctor's office always makes me nervous. It doesn't matter if I'm here for myself, Edward, or one of the boys, I always get the jitters.

_It's worse this time_, my subconscious cruelly reminds me as the nurse calls me back, _because last time, we left here heartbroken._

After the usual height and weight checks and a blood draw, I'm moved into another room where I change into a paper gown before Edward joins me. I gingerly climb onto the bed in the center of the room, and his brows are drawn together and his lips in a tight line as he sits on the edge of the seat right next to me, scooting it closer so his knees bump the bars on the side.

Gripping my hand tight, he tells me he loves me more than anything, that whatever the outcome today, we have each other and our boys.

I know he's right, I do, but my racing heart is still selfishly wishing for more.

Sympathetic, because she was here last time, too, the nurse gives my free hand a squeeze. "I've been praying for you."

I'm not religious, but her confidence inspires mine, and I smile shakily. "Thank you."

As she steps out, Dr. McCarty steps in. He flashes us a smile and his blue eyes stand out so starkly against his jet black coiff that I stare a moment too long. "How are you feeling today, Bella?"

"Um, good." Blowing out a trembling breath through my nose, I try to relax. "I'm okay."

"Good! Now, any symptoms? Any nausea, aches and pains, unusual tiredness?"

Shooting Edward an apologetic glance—because he's the one who's been dealing with me these last few weeks—I nod. "Uh, all of the above."

Dr. McCarty chuckles, sitting his big frame on the little stool as he gets everything set up. "They're all good signs, but you know that," he reminds me with a cheeky wink that settles at least some of my nerves.

Turning a little more somber, he reads something in the notes in front him before twisting the screen away from my view. I sigh with relief, glad the nurse passed along my request. "Okay. Let's take a look, shall we?" he says softly.

Having a man perform an internal ultrasound isn't painful but it _is _uncomfortable with Edward sitting right beside me, still as a stone but very much present. I unconsciously hold my breath, my gaze trained intently on Edward's pretty green eyes. They're full of his hope and nerves; the same as mine, I'm sure.

"Oh!" Dr. McCarty suddenly says, his voice higher than normal.

My teeth sink into my lip. I'm afraid to look at him, afraid to see the expression on his face. He's no good at hiding it.

I knew what he was going to say the last time because the sympathy was etched in his features for all to see.

I don't want to see it this time.

_"One, two…"_

_He's counting?_

"Edward, Bella...could you just excuse me a moment?"

He doesn't wait for us to answer. He's up and out of the room before I can drag my focus away from Edward's increasingly pinched expression.

We wait in silence for one minute, then two. The small room closes in on me as we wait, sweat beading on my neck.

_What—_

The door swings open again, Dr. McCarty accompanied by another doctor. I recognize her. She's—

"Dr. Senna is just going to check something," Dr. McCarty says. I don't know what to think of his ashen face and wide eyes, so I look at Dr. Senna instead, my fingers squeezing Edward's so hard they're as white as Dr. McCarty's face.

"Hi, Bella," she says with a gentle smile, but her tone is troubled. "Do you mind…?"

"Umm, hi," I croak, so worried I don't want to ask what's going on. "No, it's...it's fine."

Edward's entire body is rigid as she gets herself set up, the screen still facing away only this time, there are two doctors with their faces peering closely at it. I can't bring myself to look at what I suspect is there, an empty black hole, so I tune out the doctors murmuring frantically to each other and soak in Edward instead.

My sweet, loving Edward.

I wish I could do this for him. I wish I could give him another child. I wish—

"Wait." His lips are moving, his brows so high they're almost in his hairline. "What did you just say?" He swallows hard, so hard his throat visibly bobs. Fear and shock are the overriding emotions pouring off him now, but I don't understand either of them.

"There are _how many_?"

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_**Book Two in the Jackson Bay series coming soon...**_


	34. I've got an announcement

Hello there!

Firstly, I just want to say that I hope everybody is keeping safe and well, wherever you are. We're all facing worrying unknowns at the moment so take care of yourselves and listen to the people who really know what they're talking about, the doctors and specialists.

Now for the exciting part—Under The Willows is getting published!

On March 27th 2020, you'll be able to purchase the paperback, and as of right now, you can pre-order the Kindle version on Amazon. You don't need a Kindle device, just the free app downloaded on your phone or tablet :)

***Signed paperbacks will be available but we'll need to work together to figure out shipping options. Find the sign-up sheet in my reader group and message me to discuss options***

The sequel I teased will still be posting here as a FF. I'll have news on that soon in my reader group mentioned at the bottom of this post, so be sure to come join me there for deets.

• **Under The Willows •**

**Kellan Patterson moved to Jackson Bay, Florida, to forge a new life with his wife and daughter. He never thought he'd find himself alone, rattling around in an empty house. Despondent and resigned to his lonely fate, the last thing he expects is his inexplicable draw to a woman eleven years his junior—his best friend's daughter.**

**Having left the States to spread her wings, it's with her tail between her legs and three young sons in tow that Piper Fitzgerald returns to her hometown. She's back to square one and her misadventures in love have left her a gun-shy single parent. The last thing she wants is a complicated relationship, but first loves can be hard to shake. Piper's might just be impossible.**

**He's given up on his future. She's barely getting started on hers.**

If you want to see the beautiful cover made by Jada D'Lee Designs, and be in for a chance at winning a copy of the revamped form of the story, come over to my reader group on Facebook—CiaraShayee's Dreamers (previously CiaraShayee's Subconscious).

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***** As of right now, I have no plans to remove the FF version from the site, however that may change. If it does, I will update you here.*****


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